Princess Master 2

by Eric Vall

  “Joe, this is Officer Clayton, the master gunner on the Lady Starlight,” Cienna introduced the man to me. “Officer, please meet Joe. You may have heard of his successes during the war on the road to the castle last week.”

  “Yes, sir,” the officer said and nodded. “Very impressive. Our kingdom is grateful for your service.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I replied. “I am glad you are here to help protect the princesses.”

  “Officer, why don’t you show Joe what you’re working with here?” Cienna suggested.

  “Of course, Your Highness,” the wide man said.

  “Jessamine, do you want to stay and see the cannons?” the blonde princess asked. “I’ve seen it all already, but if you’re interested…”

  “That’s okay.” Jessamine smiled. “I’d rather just go somewhere, talk, and lie out in the sun.”

  “That sounds good to me, too,” Cienna told her. “We can just let the men look at the weapons over here while we go chat.”

  The women wandered away, and I was left with Officer Clayton.

  “So, uh, thanks for letting me hang out with you,” I chuckled as I awkwardly rubbed at the back of my neck.

  “No problem,” the man said. “It’s always nice to have company. Want me to show you around a cannon?”

  “Yep.” I grinned. “I’d love to see how one of these works.”

  “Well, this is a six-pound cannon here,” the officer began. “That means the cannonballs weigh six pounds.”

  “Kind of like bowling balls,” I mused.

  “Um, yeah.” The man looked at me strangely. “Right. So, anyway, to load one of these things, you take a bag of gunpowder and pack it into the barrel. Next, you ram in a wad of cloth, and then the ball, followed by another wad of cloth. Light the fuse, and then boom! Big explosion, huge shot.”

  “Awesome,” I breathed, and I kind of felt like a kid in a candy shop. “I guess you’re the one who keeps them in working order?”

  “I am.” He nodded. “I’ve heard rumors of trouble on the seas, so I wanted to make sure everything was up and running.”

  “I used to work with tools, too, back where I came from,” I said. “Maybe I could help you out with something.”

  “Sure, I could always use another pair of hands.” The officer shrugged. “I was just going down the row, checking their parts and polishing them up if they needed it.”

  “Happy to help,” I replied, and I followed him along to the next cannon in line. When I looked at the huge gun, though, I could tell something wasn’t quite right. It appeared to be wobbling on its base, and I suspected it had to do with one of the wheels on the cart it rested on.

  “Looks like something with the gun carriage,” Officer Clayton muttered, and he got down on his knees to inspect the huge wooden cart the device rested on. Then he gestured toward one of the wheels. “Looks like one of the bolts is loose. I’m going to have to go grab my tools.”

  “Actually… would you mind if I grabbed something real quick?” I realized I suddenly had a major urge to fix something, so I wanted to go get my plumber’s tool bag from our cabin. I’d been carrying the tools since my arrival in Fairyland, and they’d come in handy several times already.

  “Sure, a friend of the princess is a friend of mine,” the broad man replied with a nod. “Be my guest, I’ll be right here.”

  I ran across the deck to the cabin, and I soon returned with my toolkit. I hadn’t used anything as of late except a blowtorch to light a fire in the woods, and I was eager to show the man my skills, as easy as the task seemed.

  I pulled out a wrench I thought was about the right size, and I could tell the officer was immediately impressed.

  “Hey, I’ve never seen a tool like that before,” he said with an interested glint in his eyes. “Mind showing me how it works?”

  “Of course.” I knelt down next to the carriage, and I made short work of tightening the wooden bolt that held on to the axle.

  “Nice job.” The man pursed his lips and nodded, and I was glad I’d earned his respect. “Can I take a look at your tool for a minute? What do you call it?”

  “It’s a wrench,” I said, and I handed it to him. “Back where I came from, I used to fix pipes all day. It works really well for that, and lots of other things, too.”

  “Well, it made quick work of that wheel,” Officer Clayton remarked and moved to hand the tool back to me.

  “Why don’t you hold onto it?” I suggested. “I have a few more where that came from, and this one seems to be just the right size to fix your carriage wheels.”

  “Thank you, that is a kind offer.” The short, wide man smiled, just as Cienna and Jessamine returned from the other side of the boat.

  “Are you having fun, Joe?” Cienna asked and gestured to my tools.

  “I am,” I admitted with a chuckle. “I do like to fix stuff.”

  “It’s true,” Jessamine chimed in. “You should have seen this… machine he created to destroy zombies back in my kingdom. The hero was amazing!”

  “Nice job, Joe.” Cienna nodded, but then she turned to me with a mischievous glint in her eye. “I came up with something else you might like to do, since you seem to like being high up on that magic carpet so much. Do you want to climb up into the crow’s nest?”

  She pointed up at the main mast, and I saw a crude platform at least fifty feet up in the air.

  “Umm…” I stalled. The thought made me slightly ill, but I didn’t want to look weak in front of my wives, either. “Why the hell not?”

  Jessamine and Cienna followed me over to the mast, and I looked dubiously at the wobbly-looking rungs that had been attached to the wide wooden pole.

  “You can do it, Joe!” Jessamine encouraged me and clapped her hands with excitement, and I really didn’t think I had any choice now.

  “Here goes nothing,” I muttered to myself, and I reached out for a rung and started to pull myself up. The mast immediately started to sway slightly in addition to the rocking of the boat beneath us, and my stomach immediately flipped over.

  Still, there was no giving up now.

  The higher I climbed, the harder the wind pushed back against my body and the louder the whistling in my ears grew. I held on tight to the swaying pole for a moment and wanted to stop, but I could hear Jessamine and Cienna cheering me on from below.

  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of climbing, I reached the rickety platform. I gasped to catch my breath and held on tight to the thin metal railing. After I looked around, however, I realized I was actually glad I’d made the climb.

  “What’s it like up there, Joe?” Cienna called up to me.

  “It’s pretty amazing,” I shouted down to my wives.

  It was beautiful from so high up in the air, and I could see miles and miles of clear blue water from all around. The swaying got to me less and less, and I started to enjoy the feeling of the wind in my hair. I could even see a couple of schools of jewel-toned dolphins leaping out of the water in the distance.

  “Should we come up?” Jessamine yelled as she cupped her hands around her mouth.

  “Uh-uh, no way,” I shouted down to the dark-haired princess. I had no doubt the princesses could make it up, but I wasn’t sure the platform could support more than one person’s weight. “This was great, but I’m coming down.”

  I began my slow descent down the pole, which somehow felt more dangerous than the climb up. My palms had started to get sweaty, so I tried to grip the rungs tighter and tighter. I went one foot and one hand at a time, and I eventually made it back to solid ground.

  “Whew, that was fun!” I gasped and wiped the sweat from my forehead. I didn’t want to show the princesses I’d been afraid, so I grinned broadly at them. “It’s beautiful up there, you should try it sometime. One at a time, though. And slowly.”

  “That was brave, Joe.” Cienna clasped my hand and smiled at me.

  “Thanks,” I chuckled as my cheeks warmed. Even though we were
married now, I still basked in my wives’ compliments.

  “So, what’s next?” Jessamine asked as she bounced on her toes. “I’ve decided I love ships!”

  “How’s your stomach feeling?” Cienna inquired in a concerned tone.

  “A lot better, thank you!” Jessamine grinned at her friend. “I might even be able to eat something real.”

  “Let’s go back to our chambers, and I’ll have them bring us something from the galley,” Cienna mused. “I have to admit ship food isn’t nearly as delicious as castle food, but I do have good cooks. Plus, we just departed yesterday, so there’s still some fresh food left. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

  The three of us returned to Cienna’s chambers, and after the blonde princess rang her bell to call for lunch, we all sat around the small dining table and looked at each other.

  “Well, this has definitely been fun,” Jessamine stated, but she seemed to have more to say.

  “But?” I asked her.

  “Well, I hate to say this out loud, but it seems like things have been relatively… calm lately,” Jessamine said, and she rested her hands on her chin with a worried expression.

  “I know what you mean,” Cienna admitted. “I’m a little stressed out because I keep waiting for another major battle to start. It’s not like things have been perfect, what with General Grigsby and all, but things haven’t been too bad, either.”

  “Well, we can’t predict the future, so how about we try to relax a little?” I suggested with a smile.

  With perfect timing, a crewman knocked on the door to the cabin. I got up and walked the few feet to greet him, and he brought in a tray with plates of simple roasted turkey and vegetables alongside a giant bottle of red wine.

  “Alright, Joe, I guess we can try to have fun,” Cienna said, and I was happy to see she was finally smiling.

  “This food does look good,” Jessamine sighed as she picked up her fork and knife. “I definitely need something hearty after those crackers.”

  “This is pretty good for a ship,” I grunted as I took bite after bite, and when I looked up, I was amused to see the always-delicate Cienna gnawing on a huge turkey leg.

  “Yeah, they didn’t do too bad,” Cienna admitted as she gently patted her face with a napkin.

  Only a princess could make eating a turkey leg look sexy.

  Jessamine sipped at her glass of wine, but she looked pretty tired. To be honest, I was pretty exhausted myself. I looked out the cabin’s glazed windows and estimated it to be late afternoon or so.

  “Hey, you ladies want to take a nap?” I asked.

  “Sounds delightful,” Cienna yawned. “All that sun made me sleepy.”

  “I’m in, too,” Jessamine said, and she mirrored Cienna’s yawn and laughed. “Cienna! You’re making me even more tired!”

  “Sorry,” the blonde princess giggled. “Let’s all go lie down.”

  I pushed my chair back from the table and virtually jumped from my spot on the floor to the bed, which made my wives laugh even harder. They shortly climbed up next to me and spooned me from either side, and I was quickly able to relax into a dreamless sleep.

  I woke up in the darkness to a strange pounding sound, and for a minute, I wasn’t sure where I was. I felt around the bed I was lying in and was comforted by Jessamine and Cienna’s sleeping bodies, and I thought maybe I’d imagined the noise. So, I closed my eyes, but the sound came again, and I was finally able to identify it as a knock on Cienna’s cabin door.

  I groaned and hauled myself up over Jessamine to answer the knock, and I noticed the ship had started to roughly pitch back and forth. I stumbled and stubbed my toe into the table in the almost pitch-blackness, and it hurt like hell.

  “Fuck!” I exclaimed, louder than I meant. I really didn’t want to wake the princesses unless I had to.

  I finally reached the door, and I pulled it open to reveal a young, blond crewman standing there with a candle in his hand.

  “I’m so sorry to bother you,” the young sailor began, “but the captain needs to speak to the princess urgently.”

  “I understand,” I answered in a gruff voice, and I cleared my throat. “I’ll go wake her up.”

  I left the door cracked to let the candlelight in, and I went over to gently shake Cienna. She stirred and opened her eyes almost immediately, but she looked equally as confused as I’d felt.

  “Joe?” she asked. “What time is it? What’s going on”

  “I have no idea what time it is, but the captain needs to see you now.”

  “Uhhhhh, okay.” My blonde wife rubbed at her eyes and pushed herself up onto her arms. “I can do this. Help me up, Joe. But let’s let Jessamine rest for now.”

  I reached out a hand and pulled her up to a standing position, and we followed the sailor up to the ship’s helm where the captain was sitting. The waves had gotten rougher, and I grabbed hold of a railing as I struggled to maintain my balance. I was surprised to see how bright it still was with the moonlight shining down on the water, and every star seemed to be visible in the darkness of the sky. It was truly beautiful, but I knew there had to be serious trouble at hand for the captain to have woken Cienna.

  “What’s going on, Captain Barnes?” the princess asked, and she was all business now.

  The captain peered out at the horizon through a spyglass, and his face looked grim.

  “There’s a ship nearby, Your Highness. And I’m pretty sure it’s pirates.”

  Chapter 6

  I stared out toward the horizon at the approaching ship as my heart began to race from either the feeling of excitement, dread, or maybe both. I couldn’t believe we were out on the open sea with pirates approaching, which was sort of awesome, but I wasn’t sure what to expect in the upcoming fight.

  “Well, there’s no fucking way we’re going to surrender,” Cienna growled to Captain Barnes. “Not with me on board.”

  “Yes, Your Highness,” the captain said and nodded. “But they’re coming up fast on us. I’d say we have a few minutes, tops.”

  “Can we outrun them?” I asked.

  “No, I don’t think so.” The captain shook his head with a grim expression. “Their vessel is smaller and faster than ours, and the wind is in their favor right now.”

  “It’s time to ready the men,” Cienna said with a frown. “We need to make sure every man on this boat is prepared to fight.”

  “Your Highness, I hope you will do your best to protect yourself,” Captain Barnes told the blonde princess. “Our kingdom can’t afford to lose you in this battle.”

  “No, Captain Barnes, you know I refuse to hide while everyone else risks their lives around me,” Cienna replied in a firm tone. “If this ship goes down, everything is lost. I’m going to fight with everything I have, and I know my friends will, too.”

  “Of course, Cienna.” I nodded. “I think we should go wake up Jessamine and grab our weapons.”

  So, the beautiful blonde and I hurried back through the bustling crew to the cabin to find Jessamine still asleep.

  “Jessamine, wake up!” Cienna shouted as she started to change from her bikini into a shirt and pants in preparation for the fight. “Pirates are coming!”

  “What?” Jessamine bolted up in bed and stared at Cienna. “Pirates?”

  “Yes, pirates, and we need to get up on deck as soon as possible to protect the ship,” Cienna said in a grim tone as she threw Jessamine a new outfit.

  I grabbed Genie’s Wrath as Jessamine changed. I stared down at the purple stone and crossed my fingers for luck, and it flashed briefly in the darkness. Once the women were changed, they armed themselves in preparation. Jessamine had her scimitars, as usual, and Cienna armed herself with her favorite weapon, which was a longsword.

  “You ready?” I asked, and my heart had started to pound in my chest. “We’ve already survived worse than a pirate attack, right?”

  “That’s right, Joe,” Jessamine assured me. “If there’s one thing we can do well, it�
�s fight. I’m ready to go up there and take them on.”

  “Awesome, Jessamine.” I grinned. “You ready to go kick some pirate ass, Cienna?”

  “You know I am, Joe,” my blonde wife replied, and her sapphire eyes flashed in the dim light of the cabin. “I’ll do anything to defend my men.”

  As the ship continued to toss and roll from side to side, we headed back up to see the captain. The scene was already chaotic as the men readied the ship for battle, and I saw the gunners preparing the cannons.

  The other ship had gotten a lot closer, and I could now see the traditional skull-and-crossbones of a Jolly Roger flying from the vessel. I felt a chill go up my spine and gripped Genie’s Wrath tighter in my hand.

  I really hoped we weren’t going to run into any undead pirates. The situation was dire enough without turning into a Pirates of the Caribbean spin off.

  “Hope Jack Sparrow’s not on that boat,” I muttered.

  “What was that?” the captain asked.

  “Have there been any reports of zombies on the sea?” I tried to clarify.

  “No, not yet,” Captain Barnes replied, “but I’d be on the lookout for anything.”

  “I can’t wait to see how much stronger you’ve gotten, Joe,” Jessamine commented and stroked my arm. “I’m ready to see what Genie’s Wrath can do.”

  “Me, too,” Cienna said. “And I’m looking forward to fighting some pirate bastards with my sword. It’s been too long since I used such a wonderful weapon.”

  To punctuate her point, she grabbed the hilt of her weapon with both hands and slashed it through the air.

  “My wives are badass babes,” I bragged aloud, and I saw Captain Barnes look at me with a smirk before turning back around to look at the sea.

  The ship was rapidly gaining on us now, and I could hear the shouts of the men on board as they prepared to attack.