Breaking Benjamin

by Haylee Thorne

  “Well, I think this was a very successful business dinner,” he tells me as we walk toward my waiting car.

  “I think so, too. I am very excited.” Upon our approach, the driver gets out of the car and moves to open the door for me, but Ben beats him to it. I get into the back seat and look up at him. “Thank you, Ben.”

  He presses the button on the window, lowering it before shutting the door. He holds out his hand, and I place mine in it. He brings it to his lips and presses a small, sweet kiss on the back of my hand before letting it go. “Goodnight, Jill.”

  “Goodnight, Ben,” I croak.

  Our eyes lock, and even as the driver starts to pull into traffic, I don’t look away. He smiles at me, and I give him a small wave. I don’t take my eyes off him until we turn the corner. I ride off into the night feeling like I left something behind.

  Chapter 3

  I walk into the lobby, nod a greeting to the doorman, and stride toward the elevator. “I’m expected.”

  “Very good, sir.” He moves to the phone to alert my presence. “I’ll just let them know you’re on the way up.”

  I step into the elevator, press the PH button, and stare at the wall during the thirty second ride until the doors swish open. I walk into the hallway, approach their door, and raise my hand to knock, but it’s pulled open before I can connect.

  “Benjamin!” A beaming Hannah stands in front of me, Brody placed firmly on her hip, his head leaning on her shoulder, thumb in his mouth. “What brings you over in the middle of the day?” She steps out of the way and motions for me to come inside. “Not that I’m complaining! You know I love seeing you.”

  I reach for Brody. “Here, let me take him. You look like your arm is going to fall off.”

  Sighing gratefully, she shifts him from her arms to mine. “He’s been a handful these last few weeks. I think it’s his molars. He won’t let me put him down.”

  I adjust him so that he’s resting with his head down on my shoulder and kiss the top of his downy locks, inhaling and appreciating his baby smell. Why do they always smell so damn good? He’s like a mini Drew; same dark hair and striking blue eyes. “No Gracie?” I think my favorite part of visiting Hannah is getting to see what kind of witty quips her six-year-old daughter will throw my way.

  “School.” She turns and starts toward the kitchen. “Come on, you want some coffee?”

  “Sure, that sounds great.” I follow her, stepping over toys along the way, and sit on a stool while she moves around prepping the coffee for us.

  “You hungry?” She walks to the fridge and pulls the door open. “I can make you a sandwich or a salad if you want?”

  “Just coffee is great.” I smile at her and think how lucky my brother is to have someone this loving in his life. Although their beginning was definitely a little unconventional, nothing about their life today is. They share a love and devotion for each other that I can’t help but admire and hope myself to find. I’m thirty-six years old, almost thirty-seven. I’m getting tired of the chase, nameless girls, and my empty apartment.

  “So, you going to tell me what’s on your mind?” She lifts a brow as she sets a big mug in front of me, steam rising from the hot, black liquid.

  I take a sip and grin. “What, you think I have a motive? Just couldn’t stop by to see my favorite sister?”

  “I see you almost every day, Ben.” She comes up beside me and pulls a now sleeping Brody out of my arms, and I watch as she places him gently in a nearby pack-n-play before walking back to sit on the stool beside mine. “That’s how I know you’ve got something on your mind.”

  I smile sheepishly into my coffee before looking back up at her. “Guilty as charged I guess.”

  “All right, spill then.” She pulls her cup of coffee closer and takes a sip.

  “There’s a girl.” Before I can get another word out, she starts laughing. My brow scrunches up in confusion at her response.

  She slaps her hand over her mouth and shakes her head as she gets her laughing under control. “It’s Jill Baldwin, isn’t it?” My eyes open wide, and she smacks her hand on the counter when she registers my surprised look. “Uh-huh! I knew it! I saw the way you looked at her at the opening celebration!” She hits her hand on my leg this time and smiles wide. “I told Drew there was something there, and he played dumb. I knew it! You like her, don’t you?”

  I cock my head and nod. “I do.”

  “I knew it!” She claps her hands in delight and beams like she just won the lottery. Women are strange. “Okay, what can I do to help?”

  “She’s playing hard to get, and let’s face it, Hannah, you wrote the book on that one.”

  Her mouth falls open as her brows shoot up. “Benjamin Sapphire, I did not play hard to get. My situation was completely different and you know it.”

  “Okay, if you say so.” I raise a brow in doubt. “The point is, she says everything is about business and insists on keeping things that way, but there is a chemistry there. When we’re together, talking, just being in the same space, it’s different than anything else I’ve ever felt before, and I know she feels it, too. But, damn it, she’s fighting it tooth and nail.”

  “Is it just the fact that she’s saying no?” She raises her hand to stop me from talking. “Don’t get mad at the question; it’s a fair one. I mean, let’s face it, Ben, you don’t hear that word very often.”

  I roll my eyes. “I hear it more than you think, and no, that’s not the issue. Because you’re right; for every one person that says no, there are ten that say yes.”

  “Well, aren’t you just special, little lover boy?” She’s joking when she says it, but what she doesn’t realize is that it’s not a title I want. I can’t remember the last time I spent an actual night with anyone and felt happy about it the next morning, or had a conversation with a woman that intrigued me. Most of the time, women approach and proposition me, and spending every night by yourself gets lonely. It fills a void but definitely not anything in my heart. I think she realizes she’s hit a nerve because she reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry, Ben. I was only joking. You are one of the most caring men I’ve ever met in my life. Let’s not forget that I know this better than almost anyone.”

  She’s referring to her first husband, Jackson, who was killed in action shortly after I lost my leg. Losing him and two other brothers-in-arms was almost more than I could bear, especially while I was dealing with the loss of half my leg. With help, though, I did get through the losses and started a gym for disabled Vets. It’s free and there for anyone that needs its services. It’s named after her late-husband.

  I squeeze her hand and force a smile. “I know.”

  “So, we need to figure out how to get Jill to take you seriously.” She taps her finger on her chin, thinking, and then suddenly sits up straight and points her finger in the air. “I know what you need to do!”

  “Okay, let’s hear it.” I can’t wait to see what she’s come up with.

  “Well, you are definitely interested in her business, right? And, that seems to be the most important thing to her at the moment, right?”

  “Definitely a top priority for her. And, yes, me too. It would actually be a great partnership.” I waggle my brows. “In every way if I can help it.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Oh, Benny.”

  I frown at her use of Drew’s nickname for me. “Keep going.”

  “Then you need to go check out her business. You can use it as an in to see her again. Go to her spa, say you want to see and experience the services in person. You need her to first believe that you’re committed to the business partnership before she’s ever going to take a chance on you personally.”

  “That’s it?” It seems to simple.

  “Yes, that’s it.” She reaches for her phone, brings up a number, and then puts the phone to her ear after pressing call.

  “Hey, Jill! It’s Hannah Sapphire. How are you?” She’s silent for a minute, nodding her head as she liste
ns to Jill. “Yes, I had a great time at the opening, as well. I was so glad you were able to come. I was actually wondering if you could help me out with something?”

  She gets up and walks back and forth in the kitchen as she talks. “Drew and his brother Ben have worked so hard getting the resort up and running, and I was hoping to treat them to some services at your spa. They need to relax for a bit!”

  She’s nodding her head again. “Yes, you are so right! It’s a wonderful way for them to see first-hand what you do!” She nods her head a few more times and then gives me a big thumbs-up. “Yes, I can get them there on Thursday for you. Not a problem at all. Thank you so much. Let’s get together ourselves soon, too! You, me, and Raeva for lunch! Okay, bye, Jill!”

  Ending the call, she looks up at me with a victory grin on her face. “Step one of Operation Get Jill is complete! You and Ben have a full spa package scheduled for this Thursday at noon!”

  I smile brightly back at her and wrap her in a hug. “You are the best! Thanks!”

  Two days later, Drew and I walk into Serenity at exactly ten minutes ‘til noon for our appointment. “This was a good idea, brother. The best way for us to determine just how top of the line their products and services are.”

  “You have your wife to thank for this, not me. She came up with the brilliant idea.”

  “Ah, yes, the ‘Operation Get Jill’ plan. Hannah did mention that. I’m trying to forget about that part of this visit.”

  I grin over at him. “But that’s the best part of the whole afternoon.” Our conversation pauses as we’re greeted at reception and then shown to a locker room where we can change. I thought Jill was going to meet us, so I voice my disappointed to Drew when I don’t see her.

  “I’m sure she’s quite busy. Perhaps she got pulled into something else. Besides, we’re here for several hours. I’m sure we’ll see her at some point.”

  We’re led to a medium sized room where two massage tables are set up. Two women are waiting in the room and smile when we enter, one of them speaking. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Jill booked this room for you, in case you wanted to discuss business during your massage, but if you’d prefer a single room, we can accommodate that for you as well.”

  I look at Drew, and we both shrug in unison. “This is fine.”

  “Wonderful. We’ll step out and let you get situated on the table. Just slide under the sheet, and we’ll start face down.”

  The women leave and we both move to a table. I sit on the table before removing my robe, bend down and pull my prosthetic off below the knee, then lean it against the table. Drew’s already sliding under the sheet as I stand and balance on one leg to take my robe off and then slide under my own. The room is warm, and soft melodic music is playing over speakers hidden somewhere. It’s relaxing, and I chalk one point up for Jill and her business.

  “So, do you really like her, or is it just the thrill of the chase?” Drew asks from his side of the room, his words slightly mumbled as his face is lying sideways on the table.

  “It’s not the chase.” I scoff. “Well, you know, a little chase is always fun, but that’s not it. Yes, she absolutely may be one of the most beautiful woman I’ve laid eyes on, but it’s more than that. There’s a spark there. She’s challenging and smart and isn’t afraid or intimidated by me one little bit. It’s refreshing to find a woman who is utterly sure of herself and what she wants but also shows some vulnerability.”

  The door clicks open, and I hear two sets of feet shuffle quietly in. “Any objection to oils?” one of the women asks. Drew and I both grunt out a, “No.” I feel the sheet being adjusted and then a slight gasp as all movement stills for a minute. I’m never sure if it’s because of the tattoos covering my back or if it’s my leg, but the pause is so short, and I’m so used to it by now, that I dismiss it as quickly as it occurred.

  “So, are you going to ask her on a real date?” Drew mumbles between a moan.

  I feel oil on my back and then let out a long sigh myself when hands start to work my shoulders. I boxed for two hours yesterday, and I’m sore as hell today.

  “That’s the plan.” I groan as the fingers dig hard into a knot on my back. “But, first, I think I have to get her to admit she likes me.”

  Jill 15 minutes earlier…

  I could have killed Anna a few minutes ago. Rationally, I know it isn’t her fault that the daycare called to inform her that Casey—her little girl—has a fever, and thus per policy, needs to be collected from daycare. I know she had no intention of leaving me high and dry. But still, I can’t help but feel annoyed that she put me in this situation, today of all days.

  The spa is completely booked, and I have no other available staff. Seeing as today is all about impressing the Sapphire men, I have no other choice but to step in myself. We walk back into the room after a few minutes have passed by. Aisha asks if they object to oils, and neither does. She has already positioned herself beside Drew and started his massage. I should have insisted before that she did Ben. I begrudgingly think to myself.

  I gently pull back the sheet, and a small gasp escapes from my lips. Never in my life have I ever seen someone’s back and thought it was sexy. But this man’s back is a work of art—all muscle and sun-kissed skin decorated with ink. My eyes roam freely over his exposed back. I knew he had tattoos but would have never imagined that so many graced his skin. At first glance, I think it’s just a tribal tattoo, but upon further inspection, I find several animals sketched into his back. The large wolf particularly grabs my attention, and I long to trace my fingers over the fur that looks so real.

  Grabbing a few bottles from the warmer, I mix the different oils together in my hands. I smooth the oil all over his broad shoulders and his back, tracing each muscle. I’ve never really been a tattoo kinda girl, but his are beautiful, not to mention the canvas. I am so enthralled that I nearly miss when Drew mumbles something about asking “her” out on a real date. My heart rate accelerates and begins to knock against my ribcage as my fingers kneed his firm flesh. Is he talking about me?

  “That’s the plan,” he says as my fingers make short work of a knot in his back. He groans, and the sound of it causes a stir in my belly. He tells Drew that he has to get “her” to admit she likes him. And, I know then, without a shadow of a doubt, that he is talking about me. Frankly, it annoys me, and not just because he is cocky enough to think that I might have more feelings for him than I am letting on. Mostly, it’s because I know that his cocky self is right, even though I don’t want him to be. Drew chuckles.

  “How are you planning to pull that off, Romeo? It’s not like your charms have worked on her so far.”

  I bite my bottom lip to stifle my laugh. Drew is funny.

  “What do you know?” he grumbles in response. He sounds sullen, and it is adorable. My hands continue to explore, and I have a hard time keeping my inner dialog under control. As my fingers sweep across his back and dip lower to his buttocks, I nearly groan myself. It’s rare for a man to have a nice backside, but Ben? Yeah, the man wrote the book on having a great ass. I tell myself to focus. You’d think I’ve never done this before.

  I pull the sheet back up to his shoulders and position myself at the bottom of the table. I’m about to lift the sheet when I notice a prosthetic leg leaning against the table. I cock my head, glancing at the table beside me, but neither Drew nor Aisha is paying attention to us. I lift the sheet to position it so his lower half is exposed and see that it’s indeed Ben’s prosthetic. I had no idea that he had lost part of his leg.

  Shaking my head, I attempt to clear my thoughts, as if my head is an etch-a-sketch. I rub some more oil onto my hands and start to massage his upper legs. He stiffens for a short moment when I slide my hands near his stump but soon relaxes under my fingers.

  Maybe, I have been judging him unfairly? Maybe, my opinion of him has more to do with my own fears? Maybe, I should just give the man a chance? I have been trying so hard to keep him at arm’s length, to de
ny—even to myself—that there is an obvious attraction between us. But, honestly, I am not sure I can muster up the will to deny it anymore.

  “You know what?” Ben says.

  “What?” Drew mumbles.

  “I’m just gonna ask her.”

  Drew lifts his head toward Ben and opens his eyes. His eyes pop wide when his gaze lands on me, a smirk appearing on his face. I wasn’t expecting that, and my eyes widen.

  “You are just going to ask her what, Benny?”

  I smile back at Drew and shake my head.

  “I’m just going to lay it on the table.”

  “You are laying on a table.”

  “You know what I mean, asshole,” he says, clearly a little irritated. “If I go to her and just tell her how I feel, ask for a chance to get to know her better over dinner or something, what else can she say besides yes?”

  My brow shoots up, and Drew looks at me expectantly. I pull the sheet back and cover him up then make my way toward the head of the table. I lean in close until my mouth is right by his ear. “I’ll tell you what else she can say. I’m not your typical kinda girl. I expect gentleman-like behavior—open doors, pull out my chair type of thing. If you are running late, pick up a phone and call or don’t bother showing up. If you can live with that, you can pick me up tomorrow night at seven,” I tell him.

  I stand straight and walk toward the door, just as Ben pushes himself up on the table. I reach for the handle but pause briefly. “Oh, and Ben? Any man that wants to take me out to dinner has to bring me flowers. White lilies are my favorites, if you care.”

  Ben stares up at me, shock apparent on his face for only a second before he flashes me a stunning smile. “White lilies, huh?”