A Little Lost

by Burnett, R. S

  “You’ve been planning on leaving for a while?” he asks me ignoring everyone else.

  “A few weeks” I shrug at him then turn to everyone else. “I should be going, I have a few things I need to pick up in town before I leave. If I don’t see you all again before I go take care of each other and thank you for everything you have done for me in the last couple of months” I smile at them all and Mason stands up to hug me.

  “You’re going to regret this” he whispers in my ear.

  “It’s for the best” I whisper back and hold back the tears but one escapes anyway. “I’ll really miss you, you have been like a second father to me” I squeeze him hard and he returns the gesture.

  When he finally releases me I gather my emotions and put them under control before I turn to Kyle and Amber who are now sat next to each other.

  “Congratulations on the baby. You two will make fantastic parents and I know you’ll both be happy for a long time”

  “Thank you, and I hope you find happiness in your future” Amber smiles at me but Kyle doesn’t look at me. I’m not all that surprised he didn’t say good bye last time so I don’t expect him to this time.

  “C’mon, I’ll walk into town with you” Travis links his arm through mine and I wave to the group as we head across the beach.

  “I’m sorry” he says when we are out of hearing distance, “I didn’t know she was pregnant”

  “Neither did I until about ten minutes ago”

  “So that’s not why you’re leaving?” I can hear the confusion in his voice.

  “I’m leaving because I need to move on. I can’t get over him if I see him everyday and he’s sending me mixed signals so I’m confused. I want a fresh start. I want to be happy again” I sigh a long hard breath and wraps his arm around me pulling me close and then dragging me down onto the sand with him.

  “I thought we were going to town?” I frown at him, not sure what he has planned.

  “Do you really need to go, or was that just an excuse to get away from them?” he asks raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Just an excuse” `I admit smiling slightly “kind of knocked me for six when she told me about the baby, he had just told me he wished we were still together and then I find out he’s going to be a dad. Kind of awkward”

  “I’m sorry, I feel for you, I do. When he came back everyone was giving you a hard time, even me. We all just assumed that you would attempt to try and win him back or something but from the sounds of it, he’s been the one we all should have warned”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore” I shrug at him.

  “So you’re really going then”

  “Yeap, today is my last official day here” I stretch my legs out, wondering how much I’ll miss this town, it’s all I have ever known and holds so many memories, both good and bad.

  Travis takes advantage of my distracted state and reaches over undoing the zipper on my jacket, I make a move to grab it but he has it off me and is running across the beach away from me. I jump up and try to cover myself p, I’m wearing a bikini top but it’s a little chilly on the beach. I take off after him “Hey, Collins you’re not funny!” I shout across the beach, he turns his head and grins at me not breaking his stride “I’m going to kill you” I scream picking up my pace, he just laughs and starts running in circles to prove how much farther in front of me he is. As I run across the beach I swipe the hat off Masons head as I pass him and his family.

  “Hey, What the..” he calls out making me laugh and Travis turns to see what’s going on, he trips over and I catch up to him, I dive on top of him and try to wrestle my jacket back off him. He’s too fast for my and has me pinned down underneath him in a matter of seconds.

  “I thought you were going to kill me?” he smirks at me and I squeal trying to wriggle out from under him when he starts tickling me.

  Mason finally reaches us out of breath and laughing at us.

  “Don’t just stand there, do something!” I cry out through laughing at him, he shakes his head at us and makes a grab for his hat but I swing it away from him, knocking Travis in the head in the process. He’s momentarily stunned from the hit and I move from under him taking one of his shoes with me, I take off towards the water with his shoe and Masons hat in my hand. When I turn my head I can see them both running towards me, I move my eyes around the beach looking for a ally but no one is paying any attention to us apart from Anne, Amber and Kyle who are all watching the commotion bemused.

  I back into the water as they start closing the distance between us. I hold out their possessions making my intent clear if they come any closer, they both stop just before the waters edge and I smirk at them.

  “What’s the matter boys, not scared of a bit of water are you?”

  They both narrow their eyes at me and exchange glances.

  “Hand over the hat and shoe Lou” Mason says trying to sound commanding but his amusement is evident.

  “Or what? You going to ground me? I leave tonight” I poke my tongue out at him and Travis snorts at my childish gesture.

  I turn my back to them, kicking the water beneath me “You know, I am going to miss this beach” I sigh happily and turn myself back around but before I make it in a full circle I’m airborne and being thrown into the deeper water.

  I scream through my laughter, dropping the shoe and hat into the water and trying to move the hair from my eyes but I’m picked up and thrown in again.

  I kick and splash as much as I can trying to get my attacker back but I don’t think it has the desired effect. By the time I can finally catch a glimpse of who it is throwing me around and dunking me in the water, it’s Travis I hear a familiar screeching and watch amused as Cat and Tom start sprinting towards us stripping off their shoes and jackets on the way.

  “You are so going down” I taunt Travis before he dunks me again laughing at my surprised scream then my howling laughter.

  Before I even know they have reached us there’s a whole load of splashing and movement around me and I watch as Tom tackles Travis, knocking him under the water. Cat is laughing so hard she has to hold her sides so I advance on her and lift her over my shoulder dropping her halfway and we both collapse into the water laughing uncontrollably. When we resurface we notice Mason watching us laughing softly to himself, we both look at each other and nod with understanding before we run at him and grab him by an arm each pulling him into the water. He half-heartedly puts a fight but before he can get into too much we have him pulled in up to his waist and splashing him until he is soaked through. We momentarily forget that it was probably a bad move because we are outnumbered, but Travis and Tom waste no time in reminding us and grabbing us both by the waists throw us up into the air and dunking us down in over our heads taking themselves with us.

  We are all laughing and splashing even Mason when I pull of one of my shoes and we start to play volley ball with it.

  A few people on the beach are watching us and laughing at us, enjoying our enjoyment.

  Ten: I’m sorry

  We move on to the beach when the wind picks up a bit and head up to the top where we all collapse. Travis collapses on the sand next to me and pulls me into a playful head lock rubbing his knuckles on my head “We’re sure as hell going to miss you honey” he tells me softly and everyone mummers their agreement.

  “Only because you won’t have anyone as fun as me around” I grin when they all roll their eyes at me.

  “Seriously, do you have to go?” Tom asks sitting up and we all follow, sitting in a circle now.

  “Yep” I nod at him.

  Cat crawls over to me and wraps her arms around me “I never thought you would actually go through with it. I thought you were bluffing, that’s the only reason I helped you” she admits but her voice in muffled from where her mouth is on my head against my hair.

  “I’m going to miss you the most” I tell her patting her arm.

  “Hey!” Mason calls out shoving me playfully.

  “You
know I’ll miss you, you’ve been so good to me for so long” I tell him smiling widely.

  “Make sure you look after my girl, or I’ll come back and kick your ass” I wink at Tom who smirks at me.

  “I might just try that just so you come back”

  I roll my eyes at him.

  “I think I should come with you, who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get into on your own with that big mouth of yours” Travis jokes.

  “That’s actually a good idea” Mason and Cat say simultaneously.

  “Well not that you move with her, but you could go and stay with her for the first few nights until she gets familiar with the town and meets new people” Cat clarifies.

  I turn my gaze to Travis who is eyeing me thoughtfully.

  “That’s not a bad idea” he is smirking to himself now so I know he is up to something. I narrow my eyes at him.

  “Oh yeah, we can have lots of naughty vacation sex too” I roll my eyes at him when he laughs but then Cat nudges him and he immediately stops laughing.

  “At least you’re enjoying your last day here” Anne says from behind me and I turn to see her smiling at me and then she lowers herself down next to her husband. Kyle and Amber joins us as well.

  “What’s this about vacation sex?” Amber asks causing a few of us to exchange wary glances with each other.

  “Travis is going with Louise, he’s going to stay with her for the first week or so until she settles in” Mason tells her.

  “That’s nice, I feel better knowing you’re not going to be on your own” Anne says patting my leg.

  “Yeah because Travis is such a good influence” I smirk at her and wink at Travis remembering that she doesn’t approve of him being her sons friend but apparently he is good enough to be my friend.

  “I’m feeling the chill babe” Travis winks back at me and I can’t help the laugh that falls out of me.

  “I’d offer you my jacket but you already took it” I shrug at him and laugh harder at Toms expression.

  “Just be prepared to carry me home, I only have one shoe on” he lifts his foot in the air and removes his soaking wet sock to throw at me.

  “Sorry about your hat” I laugh putting the sock on Mason head and patting it.

  “You two are trouble, maybe I should come with you to keep an eye on you both. Who knows what you can get up to when you’re without supervision.” He grumbles shaking his head to move the sock.

  “What happens on vacation stays on vacation” Travis winks at Mason.

  “It’s not a vacation for Lou though” Cat notes.

  “Who knows maybe I’ll convince her to move back?” he stretches out and Cat throws a curious look my way.

  “Oh god, maybe I should come too” she sighs leaning against Tom “I’d hate to think of you two together, imagine the parties” she throws her head in her hands.

  “You’re just jealous that we know how to have fun” I tease.

  “You two are a nightmare separately we have never seen what happens when you are together” Mason admits rubbing his head.

  “Sure you have, we just were ... for five minutes ...” I start.

  “And I had you topless in half that time” Travis finishes grinning.

  “I was not topless I have a bikini top on!” I shove his legs that he’s stretched out on my lap.

  “Just give me another two minutes babe, that’s all it would take”

  “In your dreams bud” I snort.

  “Aww this is so cute” Amber gushes and we all turn to stare at her. When she realizes we are watching her she shrugs “Oh come on, I’m not the only one who can see it. You two are going to hook up”

  An awkward silence falls over us and Kyle eyes Travis then me. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze I look to Cat for help but she’s giving me the same look. Travis’s eyes fall on mine and he winks before leaning towards me, he stretches out so I have to lean back on my arms and looks straight into my eyes “You can thank me later” he whispers loud enough for only me to hear and then his lips brush against mine. I’m stunned from the kiss but when he repeats the movement I return the kiss he leans onto me a bit more forcing me back on my elbows and puts a hand in the sand next to my face to hold himself up. I close my eyes as the kiss deepens and relax back into the sand under me, I faintly feel one of his hands in my hair but before the kiss can go further someone clears their throat. Travis pulls away from me and helps me up. I avoid everyone’s eyes and focus on my lap instead.

  “Well I guess that answers that then” Tom says dryly and I shoot my eyes to his.

  “Umm... I left my phone somewhere on the beach in my bag, I should look for it just in case it’s been stolen” I say lamely and stand up brushing the sand from my legs.

  “I’ll help you” Cat says and jumps up grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the group.

  “What the hell was that?” she asks walking in the wrong direction.

  “I have no fucking clue” I answer pulling her towards where I can see my bag in the same place I left it before Travis stole my jacket.

  “Why did he kiss you?” she ponders aloud.

  “I don’t know, he said “You can thank me later” before he kissed me” I shrug at her.

  “Kyle looked sick” she tells me watching my face for a reaction.

  “I don’t care” I huff much to her surprise.

  “Since when?” she stops in front of me causing me to come to stand still as well.

  “Since he came over my house, told me that he wished he never moved away and that we were still together and then Amber told me she’s pregnant”

  “No. Fucking. Way.” She’s staring at me and I think she’s waiting for me to tell her it’s a joke. I wish I could.

  “Way” I walk around her and collect my bag.

  “What’s he playing at?” she asks when she catches up to me.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s not fair, he’s messing with my feelings. I’ll be glad to move away from him, he’s so confusing”

  “You need to speak to him before you go. You both need closure” she says this quietly as we reach the group again.

  “Are you staying for a while?” I ask Cat and Tom who both look at each other before nodding at me.

  “I’ll just go get a few blankets then, it’s getting a bit cold now and I would like to spend the last of my time out here on the beach”

  “I’ll help you” Travis says standing.

  “Are you staying too?” I ask Anne and Mason when they both stand.

  “No dear, spend it with your friends. Visit soon” Anne says wrapping her arms around me for a final hug.

  “I’ll miss you” I smile at her before Mason pulls me into a hug.

  “It’s not over” he whispers to me making me frown but I smooth it into a smile when I catch Amber watching me curiously. “I’ll miss you too” I tell him kissing his cheek.

  “We better head out as well” Amber says to Kyle standing up and he moves his eyes between me and her looking torn.

  “I’ll miss you” Amber smiles at me giving me a quick hug.

  “You too and congratulation again” I squeeze her a bit tighter trying to convince her that I mean it.

  Kyle doesn’t hug me he just smiles sadly at me and walks away with his parents and Amber.

  Travis and I head into the house to get blankets and drinks while Cat and Tom gather up some driftwood for a fire.

  “Thanks for offering to come stay with me while I get settled, but you don’t have to if you don’t want” I tell him while we search in a few different boxes for some blankets.

  “It’s not a problem, It will be good for me to get out of town for a while and you can use the company” he shrugs at me, I leave him to gather some blankets and grab some bags to fill with bottles of beer so we have a large supply and don’t have to keep running back and forth the house all night.

  When we return to the beach the fire is already started and Cat and Tom are sat down thr
owing twigs into it, Travis throws them a blankets and they wrap it around them. I lower myself down a few feet away from them and pass them a bag of beer. I open two bottles and hand on to Travis when he takes his place next to me, wrapping the blanket around us just as Tom and Cat have.

  “So last night huh” he says pulling me into him with his one arm around me.

  “Yeah, I can’t believe I’m moving. I always thought I’d live her forever” I take a sip of my beer, watching the flames flickering in front of me.

  There is something magical about fire, you can get lost in the colors and shapes of it.

  “Just as long as you’re moving away for the right reasons and not running away” Tom says waving his bottle towards me.

  “I’m not running away” I frown to myself and take another drink from my bottle, trying to work out how to put it into words “I’m moving away to move forward. I have so many memories here, not all of them good. I’ve watched both my parents die here. I want to move away from that and not have my past hiding in every corner. I need a fresh start, to be surrounded by fresh faces that wont look at me with sympathy in their eyes all the time. I want to be the person I used to be. The one my dad was always asking for” I smile to myself happy with my explanation but everyone just frowns at me not understanding. “It doesn’t matter, I just need a clean slate”

  “I wish you wouldn’t go. It doesn’t seem right” Cat pouts at me snuggling up to Tom.

  “I wish you could come with me, I’ll come back and visit lots, it will be like I never moved away” I try smiling to reassure her but we all know it won’t be the same.

  “I can remember when we build our first fire down here, your dad went crazy” Cat starts laughing at the memory.

  “Yeah, he chased after us all the way down to the water and when he couldn’t catch us he sent my mum in after us and she soaked us” I join in with the laughing as the memory washes over me.

  “It wouldn’t have been so bad if we didn’t let fireworks off” she snorts.

  “Oh no! I forgot about them!” I slap my hand over my mouth remembering that we took some fireworks from my dads office that were for the new years eve party the following night. “That was bad, we could have gotten hurt” I shake my head at our recklessness.