“I have never been kissed before.” Looking down at her, my heart started to pound. I was beyond happy that I was the first and only man to claim those lips as my own. I wondered if she was…I stopped my thoughts there. I wanted more but needed to be patient. I stepped back and allowed her to decide what to do. She moved away from the tree and started to walk again.
“I used to go to school. Once, when I was about seven, my class was going to go on a visit to the zoo. I had begged my father to let me go. He said I could, he wasn’t a bad man…but-” She stopped. I watched as her eyes darkened. My own instincts kicking in, telling me she needed to be protected. From what I had no idea. “There was a boy there…he was nice to me. He told me that I could be his buddy. I never got along well with the other kids because…” again she paused as if debating what she could say, “I was different. But he braved it and we spent the whole day together. I think it was one of the happiest days of my life. When I came home that day, I was smiling ear to ear. But…” She stopped and swallowed hard. I watched the movement; I watched the tears form in her eyes. Her hand moved to touch her scar on her face. My own hand moved to my arm. Watching her live her pain made me fight off my own memories. “My father had asked me why I was so happy. I told him I had a friend, a friend that was a boy. I’d never seen my father so angry. He punished me before. But I had deserved that one.”
“After that I didn’t get to go to school anymore. My father took care of me, though. That was when he gave me the stuffed dragon. I had named him secretly because if my father had known I named him after my very first and last friend, I was scared he would take him away as well. Aiden promised me he would hold my hand again, but I never went back. I wasn’t there for him.” Audrey looked away from me. Seeing the tortured look in her eyes made me want to hold her more than anything else.
I knew I couldn’t just tell her that the small boy she named her dragon after, her only living, breathing friend, probably forgot about her within the week. I couldn’t spoil her thoughts of him, but I also couldn’t allow her to believe that he would hate her either.
“Audrey, I am sure that he didn’t feel like you betrayed him.” She wouldn’t look at me so I grabbed her hand. I brought it to my lips and, when she finally turned her eyes on me, I pulled away. “You can promise me to never let me go, especially when I need you, and I promise I will always be there for you, especially when you need me.”
I searched her eyes waiting for her to react in some way and those eyes finally gave in. I saw complete trust there. It felt almost wrong to ask so much of her when I wouldn’t even offer her the same.
With her hand in mine, we continued our walk. We didn’t talk much about her past anymore. I told her some more about the world that we belonged to and tried to guess what she might be, but she kept a tightlipped smile. Even though she trusted me to protect her, she wasn’t ready to tell me everything.
Elijah returned around midday, he brought an old Impala LT, a deep blue color, that had tinted windows. It smelled clean and new. Either he bought it off the lot or took it. I didn’t care to ask. Along with that he brought real food with him, special seafood for Nixie and mouthwatering red meats.
The next few days went almost the same. Nixie usually joined us on our walks so I didn’t get a chance to get Audrey alone. Part of me longed to kiss her lips again, to feel her skin so close, but I knew it was better this way. It had to be this way. Yet…I dreamed of more than a kiss with her. I wanted her much more than I had realized. I ran daily in different forms hoping that it would shake the feeling in my bones that I needed more of her.
One night, I pulled out one of the games I had Elijah get when he was out. We were setting up to play at the dinner table when Elijah walked in.
“Tomorrow I will have to go get more supplies. If anyone needs something, add it to the list.” Always to the point and completely unemotional. Even after spending so much time with him, I still felt uncomfortable in his presence.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Audrey
Nixie and Stone started to put together the game. It was hard cardboard that flattened out to a square. Lining the sides were names of cities and states that were color-coded. And there were special boxes on the corners. I tried to pay attention to what the boxes said or represented, but I couldn’t help but to keep peeking up at Stone. It had been more than a couple of days since he had kissed me in the woods. I had never felt anything quite like it. When his tongue touched my bottom lip, I lost all sense.
Looking at him and thinking about that kiss, I missed the closeness we had shared even if it was for a small bit of time. Nixie placed colorful paper in front of me, and when I looked up at her, she winked. I hadn’t told her what happened between me and Stone because I felt that it was our own personal private moment. It belonged entirely to us, which was a new feeling for me. To have something completely private.
As they continued to set up the game, I noticed Elijah standing alone. I stood up and walked over to him.
“Could I speak with you for a moment?” I asked quietly. I knew that Stone watched, his eye color changing rapidly. Nixie looked at us with open curiosity. But looking up at Elijah, he was staring at me. His head slightly tilted. Finally he nodded.
We headed outside and I noticed that Nixie held back Stone while talking to him softly. His attention was on me though. I offered him a small smile.
“What is it that you wanted?” Elijah asked.
“Why did you offer this place to us?” I couldn’t let the thought go, the whole week we had been here. While Elijah was distant and unfeeling most of the time, there were moments like now when he would join us, when I could feel him watching me.
“You intrigue me.” I heard something in his tone that made him almost sound like he was curious of his own answer.
We were standing on the deck, Elijah stood away from the railing, but I was pressed against it, silently counting the poles. I found myself counting less and less, but I still couldn’t help myself at times.
“Do…” My courage failed for a moment. “Do you remember anything from…”
“From when I entered your mind to extract the wraith? Yes. I remember everything. Do not mistake my intrigue for compassion, Audrey. I am more likely to steal your soul and devour every last piece of it before I would try to comfort you. Your soul has been darkened and I would find it a feast for kings. Yet, I have not even tried to take any of your pain as food. Again, you intrigue me.” I nodded accepting his blunt answer. I didn’t expect him to give me a heartfelt answer as to why he would help us, but I was hoping he would know more about my past.
“Is there anything…”
“I will not tell you about your past. As I told Jacobs, when it is time for you to know your past, and the secrets concealed in there, then you will know.” With that Elijah turned and walked back into the cabin.
I sighed, I had hoped for too much, I was becoming too comfortable with the idea of hope.
“It will come back to you.” Nixie whispered as she came next to me. She offered me a large smile. “Sorry didn’t mean to intrude but Stone was getting nervous. And I offered to come out otherwise he would be all overbearing-man on you, and I don’t think you need that right now.”
I didn’t say anything but continued to stare out at the night. It would be so much easier if Elijah just told me what he’d seen.
Nixie seemed to guess my thoughts. “Sometimes Audrey, it is better to let the past go. Let it rest and move on with your life.” Nixie’s coral eyes were downcast and looked like they were almost tearing up. But she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and smiled at me, all her sadness vanished. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go play a board game!” Nixie skipped back into the cabin dragging me along.
That night we stayed up late. Elijah and I learned how to play. Elijah turned out to be very good at it. When we finally started to wrap up the game, it was almost two o’clock in the morning. It was fun, Nixie and Stone had managed to ge
t me to smile for most of the night. At one point, I almost laughed. I’d forgotten what it felt like to do that. It filled my heart with a sort of lightness and my muscles felt lax and unnaturally loose.
As I started to head to the room I shared with Nixie, Stone stopped me. He jerked his head toward the door, and I knew that he probably wanted to talk about what I had talked to Elijah about. Stone had taken his promise seriously. He stayed with me when he could and calmed me when I was unmanageable. He was a constant. He made things easier. Bearable.
When we stepped outside, Stone pulled me around to the side of the building without warning and without any hesitation, he claimed my lips. I moved quicker this time, reacting faster and understanding the movements. It felt like forever, but still not long enough before he ripped his lips away from mine.
My heart constricted, other parts of my body reacted so violently to his touch that I was scared that I would explode into a million different pieces. His hands moved up and down my back. He set my skin on fire with a touch. His forehead was pressed against mine. While my brain wanted to protest the feeling of him touching me so intimately, I couldn’t move away from him. I wouldn’t. But the sensations still scared me. My breathing became harsher.
“Stone…” His eyes snapped up to mine.
“Gods, I don’t even want you to call me that.” Stone was rubbing his forehead against mine. His eyes were shut, and his smooth hands were running up and down my arms.
I shivered under the assault. I swallowed, watched his chest rise and fall, then I looked up at his softly shaded red eyes.
“Audrey… my real name is Gabriel.”
“Gabriel?” When I said his name, his eyes shut as if he was savoring it. There was a new color emerging that was quickly shifted before it could truly form. Instead his eyes turned a deep purple color, desire shading his eyes into new colors.
“It’s been years since I have heard someone call me by my real name. Hearing you say it though…” He opened his eyes again and kissed me. This time it was short, it was sweet, and it almost felt tender.
“Why do people call you Stone?”
“Because I am unmoving in my feelings. I am as hard as a rock when I need to be,” he replied. His hand moved to my face, touching my cheek, my lips, everything he could touch.
“No. Why not use your real name?” I asked.
“Don’t you even care a little how I got my nickname? How can you just stand there and let me kiss you. Let me touch you when I am no better than the men who attacked you? Who would torture you?” And yet he still touched me. His hand moved to trace the lines of my hair. The soft touch of his fingertips left fiery trails on my skin. I wanted to close my eyes, but I wanted to watch him as well.
“No. Why do you insist on having people call you Stone?” I asked again.
“Shape-shifters, whether they are animal, human, or like me, will never tell you their real name. We are very much like the fey in that sense. The fey hold names in great regard because they have the power to control people with the knowledge of their real names. Some paranormals are safe from the feys control over names, some are not. Shape-shifters are too human; while sirens are creatures of the water they are safe. Weres are safe because they have animal spirits.” Gabriel stepped back a little but his hands never left me. His hand that played with my hair moved down to my hips.
“But you trust me enough to tell me your name?” Instead of answering me, he tilted my head back and kissed me again. It was meant to be quick but as he pulled away, I followed. My heart raced as I got more comfortable with kissing him.
“Gods help me. But I trust you.” After that he pulled me back into the cabin, brought me to my door, and kissed me one more time. This one was a fleeting kiss but something I savored. So many touches in one night. My fingers drifted to my lips in wonder. I hoped that my dreams would be as kind.
• • •
As the days passed, old memories started to arise. Some I could relish, others I wish that I didn’t have to relive them. I had been missing a year before the white walls. A year missing between the last time I saw my father and my solitude. Loneliness seemed more favorable than the memories.
Stone walls. Grey, grey, grey. The constant drip-drip. Drip-drip, drip-drip, drip-drip. I pressed my swollen cheek closer to the uneven surface, hoping for relief. The tears stopped. All the water in my system was missing. I didn’t even have enough spit to wet my aching throat. Drip-drip. My body shook with fear and pain. My legs involuntarily pressed closer together. I had been mistaken that my tears were dried up. More flowed down. Drip-drip.
I must have passed out. I wasn’t shocked. My whole body was exhausted with pain. They – the guards, the ones who looked so human but were anything but, broke three bones this time. It was a blessing, honestly. Only three. Drip-drip. Three. Drip-drip. Cracks. Drip-drip. Snaps. Drip-drip. Agonizing screams. Drip-drip. No relief.
I shuddered at the memory. The feeling of the bones breaking still lingered. I tried not to let my mind wander to what happened before they broke my bones. I tried not to remember what the drip-drip was.
I managed to get my mind off the memory, off the lingering pain and fell back to sleep. I don’t know how long I got a reprieve from my memories since they attacked at an unexpected pattern. It didn’t feel long until the next one attacked. I was spared another nightmare and was rewarded later in the same night with a much more pleasant memory.
I was five.
He lifted me up and placed me on his shoulders. I always liked this view; he was so tall that I felt as if I could touch the clouds. I was giggling; the sound was foreign to me now but seemed so natural then. My dad touched my exposed toes pretending to try to bite them. I giggled more.
“My little survivor.” His voice was much less gruff then my last memory of him. He sounded care-free, happy.
I smiled holding on to his hair. He was taking me out to our spot, as he called it. Our little safe haven. It was just past the woods behind our house. It was an open meadow where long grass grew. I used to run around and my father would search for me. It was never quite hide and seek because he never let me out of his sight for too long and whenever he did catch me he would place me back in the area where the grass was all pushed down from our many visits. I got jostled when my father started to run, he got about as excited as I was when we came out here. I was about to ask him if he was going to change when a growl rumbled through his chest.
My father pulled me down from my perch around his neck and placed me on the ground. His blue eyes stared back at me with urgency.
“If I say run, you run back to the house as fast as you can, don’t look back and don’t stop no matter what.” Instead of answering, shooting fear ran my blood cold. I whimpered trying to pull away from his stare and his tightening hold. “Promise me, Audrey.”
“Okay daddy.”
He nodded once and adjusted his grip as he straightened up. We walked slowly to our circle where a man that was as tall as my father waited. He had stone colored grey skin and wings. I couldn’t stop looking at them, but when I sensed his gaze on me I looked at his eyes. They were black. I hid behind my father’s leg as he pressed his hand on my head.
“What do you want?”
“You know what I want. You have always known.”
“This isn’t a good time. She only passed away five years ago.” My father’s voice turned into a growl. The other man didn’t even flinch away but his stare lingered on me for a moment when he offered a sweet smile, but it disappeared as he looked back at my father.
“And I told you years ago…”
The memory faded out as new voices started to filter in.
• • •
Stone had taken me out on a picnic. We walked until we hit the edge of the lake that Nixie had found when we first arrived. We had been at the cabin for two weeks. Nixie seemed content here and when not spending time with me, she would go to the lake. Stone would only take off once in a while to go for a run.
He usually took the form of a wolf and disappeared. Elijah would disappear but I never knew where he went. I didn’t have the courage to ask.
The night started to settle in around us. The sun had set only moments before. I enjoyed the darkness, in light you could see every attack, every moment. In darkness you were blind. I moved closer to Stone. Over the past two weeks I had grown much more comfortable with him. We didn’t speak, just enjoyed the lapping water and the forest sounds. Stone started to trail his hand on my arm moving up to my shoulder. My eyes fluttered shut.
“When they first took me, I just remember hands everywhere. Pulling and tugging on my clothes, skin, and hair.” Stone stiffened and his movements became a little more rigid. “I don’t know where they took me but when I was finally allowed to look again, the room was made of stone. It was so uneven, each piece felt like a sharp knife to exposed skin. The first few days they left me in there as I was. No one came; I wasn’t given food or water. My throat was raw from screaming. I had given up and collapsed. It felt like every day they would stop and torture me. I had fought for a while. They had tied my hands together after I started trying to claw them. I,” I shifted. “I wrapped the loose rope around one of the guards necks. The others tried to pull me off, but I managed to…” I stopped again. I wasn’t sure I could say it. How would he look at me? He knew without a doubt now that I was a monster.
“You killed him which is more than he deserved.” Stone whispered in my ear. I turned and he was sitting right next to me, his eyes were a murky red color.
“I killed,”
“And I would have tortured him. I would have made sure that he suffered longer than what you had done.” Stone held me tighter.
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