The rest of the time we were at the lake, we were silent. I remained trapped in my memories, and Stone didn’t stop the subtle movements.
• • •
We took many walks in the forest the next few days. I was eager to get out and taste the air. Sometimes it was only Gabriel and I, sometimes Nixie would come as well. Gabriel told me that I had to call him Stone when there were other people around and as much as my friendship with Nixie had grown, I still felt hesitant with her. Trusting Gabriel was hard enough. At times I would still shy away from him without realizing it. He always took his time with me though. He was careful and understanding. At times I could see the frustration set in, his jaw would tighten, and his eyes would flash.
Elijah remained distant even though he would join our nightly games. I think we all knew that he could beat us no problem but he would stare at the board and make silly mistakes. I got better at some of the games but I still didn’t understand the first one we played.
It was the middle of the week when Elijah commented that we needed more supplies and Gabriel said that we would be going with him.
“Nixie said she is okay with staying here and holding down the fort. Come on.” Gabriel pulled me outside.
Elijah already waited inside the car, looking forward. He never acknowledged our company. I wondered if I had crossed a line when I had asked him to tell me about my past, but I felt like I had done something wrong. I looked down and started to count without realizing that I was. Stone turned around in his seat and grabbed my hand to kiss it. Stone had told me before that we had to shop far from the cabin in fear that a paranormal might be by and catch our scent if it was a werewolf or some type of tracking was paranormal. When I looked up at his eyes, I could see he was trying to calm me, always doing so much for me. It felt selfish, but I couldn’t bring myself to want to stop it because I never had anything. Nothing that was purely mine since Aiden. I wasn’t even sure if Stone was entirely mine. I had memories of times my father would take Aiden as a less harsh punishment.
On the drive into town, I stared out the window. I couldn’t get enough of the outside world. I wanted to feel the air; I wanted it flying through my hair so fast that it felt like I was flying. I dreamed of that sometimes. Those were the good dreams. Drewms of flying high above the world, looking down at it and seeing how small it was compared to me. I wanted to be so much more, but more than that, in the skies I was safe. I was truly free.
I was jarred from my thoughts when the car hit the highway. Elijah drove for another two hours before stopping.
“I will pick you up in four hours.” Elijah said as he stopped the car. Stone got out and opened the door for me.
“I have a surprise for you.” I opened my door and waited with him on the sidewalk. I didn’t ask what the surprise was because I had mixed feelings about whether it would be a good surprise, or a bad one. I had only bad memories of surprises. Surprises meant punishments, brandings; it meant pain and white rooms. Stone grabbed my hand and started to pull me toward a building.
“What - what is it?” My teeth chattered as fear wrapped its cold fist around my heart. I promised myself that he wouldn’t hurt me, he wouldn’t lie to me, and he wanted to protect me. He wanted to protect me. He was lying to me. I started to shake my head violently. No. No. No… Liar. Liar. Liar. Whether I called him or myself a liar, I wasn’t sure.
“Easy, hey easy Audrey. Look at me.”
I heard his voice over my internal chatter, but I hadn’t realized that I was saying it out loud. When I looked up at Stone, his eyes were a cloudy grey color.
“It’s okay, I would never hurt you. I was going to take you to a movie. I promise. You will be okay. I will always make sure you are safe.” Stone grabbed my hand and brushed his thumb over my knuckles. “Okay?”
I nodded. He asked again.
“Okay.” It came out quick and shaky.
He accepted it though. He led me along into the building. Inside, there was a salty, buttery aroma that muted the building’s stale air. The room had posters and a counter.
“What would you like to see? Romance? Horror? Action? Comedy?” Stone looked down at me and smiled.
A movie? I remembered those. So long ago…I bit the inside of my lip. I held back a smile. His eyes remained a steady blue color while in public, but I could see the subtle changes in them.
“I think a comedy.” I replied timidly.
He purchased the tickets and other treats as he called them and asked if I was ready. I nodded and let him take me into the theatre. When we sat, he handed me a tub of popcorn and a drink.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Stone
Watching as her lips parted into a smile, I knew this was a good idea. I could see the positive changes in her. Her hollowed out cheeks were filling in, her once too skinny form was becoming more curvaceous. She stood just a little taller each day, and her eyes would shine at times. Sometimes, when we arrived, she would revert and become the girl I first met, hiding in herself, and fearing everything around her. But when I saw her struggling, I would step in and remind her she was safe.
“Ready?” I asked.
She nodded and I hid my disappointment. I was trying to get her to become more vocal. Since she started to use her voice more often, I realized how beautiful it really was. It wasn’t light and musical like Nixie’s, and it wasn’t hesitant and quiet like when I first met her. It was deep, sultry and damn sexy.
We headed into our screen and I felt her hold tighten around my hand. I knew that she felt more comfortable in dark places, her body had always relaxed. She had told me a few things but the way she shifted and talked, I could tell she would rather avoid her past. I could understand after all. It wasn’t as if I had told her all about my past. She did tell me about the white room, about her experiences since she left. I was fascinated by her in every way. She was stronger than she realized, and watching her grow within the short time we broke free from Jacobs had done her well.
When we sat down, I saw her look around and take everything in. Her thick hair covered the scarred side of her face, and all I wanted to do was push it away. On the scarred side of her face was the jagged part of her lips. I always made sure to kiss it lightly to remind her how gorgeous she was. She would blush, yet she never said anything about her disfigured face. I could see people staring, but she didn’t seem to notice. She continued taking in the sights of the new world around her. A world she was just discovering.
As she settled into her seat, I held out the popcorn to her. She looked down at it; she had been careful about the food we offered her so I grabbed some and popped it in my mouth. I’d hoped she’d watch me and think of my mouth as much as I thought of hers. Though she let me kiss her, I waited for the time that she would come to me.
As the movie started, I saw Audrey move her hair out of the way of her covered eye. She never usually did it. Audrey had confirmed what Jacobs said was true about her eye. Somehow she could see out of her dead eye. Looking at it now, I couldn’t help but wonder how it was possible. I knew around others she wanted to hide her scars, humans didn’t have scars like we did. Other paranormals would look for a second and look away understanding that our world was ugly and scars were a constant, though they weren’t as large as Audrey’s. They also didn’t know the extent of her scars. Humans though would see it as a disfigurement; they were disgusted and would shy away. I, on the other hand, was glad that I could see her entire face. I resisted the urge to trace the furthest scar. It was the smallest but also looked the most jagged.
I couldn’t focus on the movie. My mind kept taking me back to times when I had been the one inflicting pain. When I had left scars that would never fully heal. One of my first missions, one that I wish that I could forget, still haunted me.
There was screaming. Children cried out for their mothers, and mother’s cried out for their lost children. That didn’t matter, what mattered was finding the paranormal Jacobs wanted. I was determined to find them,
to be the one who would catch them. I still felt the need to prove myself, even though I had already done that. I wouldn’t be on the team if I hadn’t. It didn’t matter to me, I had to be the best.
Jacobs had described the paranormal to us, a young woman, fiery red hair. She wasn’t a normal paranormal, there was something…wrong about her. Jacobs had mentioned that she was a Werebird that was mentally disturbed and walked around half-shifted.
I saw her, she was herding children into the house that was already searched. I ran in after her, but she was gone. All that was left were three children and a mother hunched over them, trying to protect them. I called out the warning. That day those children and mother were taken from their home and tortured for days until Jacobs was convinced they had no new information to give us. We never caught the red-headed paranormal, but we had destroyed innocent people’s lives.
I pulled myself from the memory and focused on the movie, on Audrey, anything but my own horrid past.
The movie progressed and I couldn’t help but watch Audrey’s reaction for the most of it. Her smile grew bigger and bigger as the movie went on. She stared wide-eyed at the screen. She was near the edge of her seat when it happened.
I didn’t think that anything could sound as beautiful as her voice, but I was wrong. For the first time since I met her, she laughed. Laughing was a freedom offered to those who could feel completely free from all worries and enjoy a moment completely stress free. A real laugh was a small piece of freedom. And that is what Audrey was doing. She was laughing. She let out a second laugh, before she stopped as if shocked by her reaction, then she continued to laugh. She turned to me and smiled widely. She looked completely open at that moment. My breath halted. Gods there was nothing more stunning than her at this moment.
Audrey moved to hold my hand. She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Thank you, Gabriel,” she whispered and went back to her previous position.
The rest of the movie didn’t even register for me. I couldn’t get over how she was acting so free with me. My body reacted uncomfortably. This wasn’t something I could rush. This wasn’t just a one-night romance. This was different.
A new feeling that had been building started to show itself, and I felt the natural reaction of fear swamping my body. I couldn’t love this girl, I wouldn’t do that to her. Then I remembered how it felt for her to say my name. There was something so right about it and that made me think of different times she would say it. Lost in my fantasies for the last ten minutes I didn’t realize that the credits were rolling and Audrey was still smiling.
“That was…it was amazing. Thank you, Gabriel. Thank you!” She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. Pulling back slightly, her eyes watched mine as if waiting for the colors to change as they did when we were surrounded by paranormals, but in the human world they would remain blue, only not to her. She told me that she could see the different flakes of colors in people’s eyes when their moods shifted. Audrey said that she did that as long as she could remember. I knew when she said that she was holding back. There was something that she remembered. Something she was scared to share yet. But then her eyes shifted to my lips and all other thoughts vanished. I waited. I wouldn’t kiss her unless she kissed me first.
She moved tentatively as if I was the scared animal. She was centimeters away and it was taking all my self-control not to force my lips on hers like a starved man. She made feel that way though. Like I couldn’t get enough of her. Her quiet strength, her broken spirit that was slowly repairing, she was damaged, but she wasn’t shattered. There was time for her to repair. Finally she moved in. She barely touched my lips with her own. Then, she became a little braver.
My hands clutched tightly at the arm rest, even though all I wanted to do was pull her closer and kiss her deeply. But I knew this was a step she needed to take. A moment she needed to own. I resisted and closed my eyes against the beating she was doing to my mind. Finally, she scooted a little closer. I knew this part would be difficult for her, so I slowly opened my mouth for her, allowing her the option. She moved for it slowly at first, then moved a little quicker. Soon we were kissing the way that I had wanted to kiss her what seemed like hours ago, but I knew was only a few moments. I didn’t hold her as I wanted to because I wanted her to have the option to move away when she wanted to. I didn’t want her to feel trapped, not right now, not when she was in control. I didn’t want to see the fear of her being trapped in her eyes again.
When she pulled away, she was blushing and her swollen lips made me want to pull her back. I licked my lips grabbing the last taste of her. She looked away for a moment and she looked like she was about to say something. I knew that she was going to try and apologize so I moved in before she could.
“Thank you, Audrey.” I grabbed her hand and kissed it, my lips not moving until she looked into my eyes. She smiled slightly, not the smile I was hoping for, but it was more than enough at the same time. This was all new to her, and I had to remember that. I had to remember that she wasn’t like another girl off the street. “You ready?” She nodded. I was about to let go of her hand, but she tightened her hold on me. As we walked out, she told me again about some of her favorite parts. She had told me that it was her very first experience at a movie theater. She allowed me some more insight of her past telling me how, while they had a small TV in their house, she never watched all that much. She got a bit quiet after that.
“Audrey, you know you can tell me about your past.” She looked up at me. I could see the fear coursing through her. The past that she could remember scared her.
“I … I’m scared.” She whispered, I thought that she would deny it. Deny that she remembered anything that she didn’t want to tell me. The way she had been for the past week. When we left the theater we still had about an hour before Elijah would show up. I placed my hand on the small of Audrey’s back. I felt her breathing shift slightly. It became deeper, and I felt a shiver shake her body.
“Audrey, I promise you are safe. I will not hate you because of your past.” I pulled her a little closer to me. Her hair was falling back into her face, it was on the closest side to me and as much as I wanted to push away the strands, I knew she preferred them there. She wanted to still hide them, hide from the world. She thought herself a monster, I knew that much, but looking down at her I couldn’t see it. I kissed the top of her head which she wasn’t expecting. I wasn’t expecting it. My nose filled with her enticing scent. She looked up at me and I controlled my expression.
“I would hide in my room most of the time. My father wasn’t a bad man; he would spend time with me when he wasn’t busy. I loved him.” She tripped over the word loved, and I knew that she wanted to say that she still loved him. He was her father and even after her horrible past, she still loved him. “He didn’t mean to hurt me so much, it was the only way he knew how to punish. Most times I deserved it. I understood the rules and yet.” She paused, biting the inside of her lip, which was a new bad-habit she picked up from Nixie, who bit her lip when nervous.
“You wanted more.” I understood. She sheepishly nodded trying not to look up at me again and I realized it wasn’t out of fear this time, she was ashamed. She was ashamed that she wanted more than what her father would allow her to have. I didn’t realize how much her father’s approval meant to her. How much he meant to her. “What happened to your mother?”
“I killed her.” Audrey looked me straight in the eye when she said it. She didn’t look like she felt sad or remorse, the only thing I could see from her was acceptance. “My father reminded me every birthday. She didn’t survive, but I did. I think he hated me a little bit for it. Yet he always called me his little survivor.” Audrey never seemed to talk about her family in such a carefree manner before. I didn’t know why but this apparently was a safe topic for her. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to tell her that her father was wrong. That so many things I knew from her father, he was abusive and obviously didn’t love her in a healthy way
. I couldn’t tell her these things though, even if they had my blood boiling and my vision turning red.
“What about your father?” Her question snapped me out of my cloud of rage. I looked down at her and she was watching me expectedly.
“I had one.” She looked down disappointed; I knew that she was still working on the courage to ask questions when the conversation seemed to have ended. I waited a little longer. She looked back up at me and laughed a little. She stopped as soon as she started as if unsure of herself.
“That was a joke right?” She looked up at me so hopeful that I didn’t have the heart tell her that I wasn’t really joking. I knew how hard it was for her to deluge information about her past, how could I not do the same for her?
“Yes.” I leaned down and kissed her head once again. “My father was also a shape-shifter, he was strict. He demanded the best from me while he was around. He believed that paranormal creatures should stick with their own kind. He didn’t really like the clan ideas, but since there was no real way to reverse the way the paranormal world was set up, he tried to keep me around our own kind as much as he could. It was easier then since the clans were still forming.”
“How old are you?” Audrey blurted, her cheeks reddened to the point that she looked like an overripe tomato. I wanted to laugh at her expression.
“Shape-shifters, like many paranormals, have longer life spans. Ours, much like the weres, range up toward seven hundred years. I would be twenty-six years old in human years, actual years…130.” Her jaw had dropped. I lifted my finger up under her chin and closed it. “I am considered to be quite young. Especially with the position that I hold, but with a father who demanded only the best from me, it was hard not accomplishing everything he wanted. He wanted a son who would be a killer and that is what I am.”
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