War on Whimsy

by Liane Moriarty

  "Those must be the tanks and cannons they couldn't fit through the tunnel connecting Volcomania to Whimsy," said Sean, pointing at a number of massive, gray, metallic objects bobbing about in the middle of the lake.

  "No wonder they couldn't fit," said Greta. Nicola followed her gaze and saw the most peculiar sight: a long, thin stone cylinder stretching out into the sky and disappearing into the horizon. It made Nicola think of those overpasses connecting shopping centers across highways. Why did the entrance to the tunnel have to be at the bottom of a sea?It would be so much easier if you just went up an escalator!

  Shimlara picked up a pebble and threw it into the sea.

  "Let's hope these suits work well," she said cheerfully as the pebble vanished without a trace. "That water looks chilly!"

  Volcomanian suits were very different from the rubbery suits Nicola had seen scuba divers wearing on Earth. These suits were made of fine, polished lava stone. You stepped inside and the suit automatically snapped close around your body. The insides were lined with soft fur, which felt smooth and comfortable against Nicola's skin. Instead of wearing fins on their feet, the suits had giant tails like mermaids. The tails--which doubled as storage containers for their backpacks--dragged behind them as they shuffled along, their backs bowed slightly with the weight of the heavy oxygen tanks strapped to their shoulders. They didn't have masks or snorkels like Earthling divers. Instead, their heads would be encased in large transparent bubbles of pale green glass. Right now, they were all holding the glass bubbles like footballs under their arms.

  "Your hair won't even get wet," said Sean to Nicola (as if that was the only reason she was worried about scuba diving).

  "Remember to watch your air supplies," said Tyler. As usual, he had been the one to read through all the instructions and learn how the suits worked. "There should be plenty of air to get us to Whimsy and back. But you have to breathe slowly and deeply, otherwise you'll use it up too quickly. If the arrow pointing at the level on your air gauge turns red, you've got five minutes to get out of the water. When it turns black--that's it, you're out of air."

  Nicola imagined the panic she would feel if the arrow turned red. Just the thought of that happening made her breathe in quick, jerky gasps.

  "When we get to the Planet of Whimsy, don't shoot straight up to the surface," explained Tyler. "Otherwise you could get decompression sickness. You have to come up very slowly and stop for a rest every minute."

  "What's decompression sickness?" asked Katie.

  "It's when nitrogen bubbles form in your bloodstream," answered Tyler.

  Nicola didn't like the sound of that at all.

  "But if your air supply is low you just go straight up to the top, don't you?" asked Greta.

  "No, no. It's very serious.You've still got to come up slowly. That's why it's important you keep an eye on your air supply. As soon as the arrow turns red, slowlyswim up to the surface. But that's not going to happen. The instructions say we've got enough air to get all the way to Whimsy and back."

  "How are we going to see when we go through the tunnel?" said Katie. "It doesn't look like much light will get through."

  Nicola suppressed a shudder (great--it would be pitch-black as well!). Tyler pushed a switch on the top of his helmet, producing a beam of strong, bright light.

  "It's like a coal miner's helmet," he said with satisfaction.

  "Is that it?" said Sean impatiently.

  "Yes. Oh, no, one last thing, we can talk to one another underwater, which is pretty cool! Just press this Sound Transmission button." Tyler pointed to a small button on the wrist of his suit.

  "Excellent. So shall we go?" said Sean eagerly, as if they were about to jump into a beautiful, crystal clear swimming pool, instead of this horrible, greasy, brown lake.

  "Let's go," sighed Nicola.

  They shuffled their way to the edge of the lake. Everyone snapped their glass helmets over their heads and switched on their helmet lights. Nicola thought about how she'd been the first one to parachute out of the Royal Spaceship. There was no way she was going to be first this time.

  Sean went striding out into the water. One minute it was up to his knees and the next his glass helmet had vanished beneath the brown water.

  Nicola gulped. It must get deep very quickly.

  One by one, the others followed Sean. Only Nicola didn't move. She couldn't move.

  She was a car without gas.

  A toy with a flat battery.

  "Nicola." Greta lifted her glass helmet slightly so she could speak.

  Nicola didn't answer. She couldn't speak. Her vocal chords were frozen solid, like the rest of her body. The only part that was working was her brain. Her busy, terrified brain.

  "Do you remember when we were on the Planet of Shobble and we were learning to ride our ShobGobbles?"

  Nicola did remember. Greta had been terrified. Nicola had to help her along by giving Greta's ShobGobble a quick flick of the feather-whip.

  "I felt like I couldn't move," said Greta. "I was frozen with fear. That's why it was good when you got my ShobGobble to move. Otherwise I might have just sat there forever."

  Why is she telling me all this? thought Nicola irritably. Greta wasn't normally one for taking a trip down memory lane.

  "I wondered if you were feeling the same way as I did," said Greta. "So that's why I thought you might appreciate a little nudge."

  She gave Nicola a firm shove in the middle of her back that sent her toppling face-first into the cold Underground Sea.

  CHAPTER 17

  Nicola couldn't see anything except brown, murky water swirling in front of her eyes like a dust storm. She didn't know which way was up, down, left, or right.

  I can't breathe! I'm drowning!It's so cold! How dare Greta push me! I can't breathe!

  "Breathe slowly, Nicola." It was Katie's voice suddenly speaking in Nicola's ear as if they were on the phone together.

  Nicola saw Katie swimming along beside her, her familiar blue eyes looking at her with concern from behind her glass bubble. She had one finger pressed to the Sound Transmission button on her wrist. Katie seemed to be moving in slow motion, like an astronaut floating through space.

  Nicola's breathing slowed.

  "We'll swim together," said Katie. She took hold of Nicola's hand. "No hurry. You're a good swimmer. This is just the same except you're underwater."

  Nicola held on tight to Katie's hand and let her lead her to the muddy, black bottom of the Underground Sea. The others were all there, including Greta. The water wasn't quite as murky as it was near the surface, but it was still dark and shadowy, as if they'd crawled into the back of a closet. Thank goodness for the pools of light created by their helmet lights.

  Although she couldn't feel the water temperature through her suit, Nicola could somehow tell it was icy cold. Long streams of tiny air bubbles floated up to the surface from near their heads. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion, like pieces of seaweed.

  "Are you all right, Nicola?" said Sean.

  "Yes," said Nicola, pressing the button on her wrist. She gave Katie's hand a quick squeeze of gratitude and let go, surprised to find that she was actually okay.

  "Glad I pushed you?" asked Greta.

  "I guess," said Nicola, who wasn't quite ready to forgive or thank Greta just yet. "Have you seen the tunnel entrance, Sean?"

  "Yep, I'll lead the way," said Sean. "We'll have a buddy system. Katie and Nicola. Shimlara and Greta. Tyler and me. Don't lose sight of your buddy."

  Everyone nodded. Sean rolled over on his stomach and held his arms close and still to his sides, so that he had a long, fishlike silhouette. He swam off with Tyler beside him. Only the tails of their suits moved, flapping slowly and rhythmically, as if the two of them had been scuba diving for years.

  Shimlara and Greta followed behind them, looking just as impressive, followed by Katie and Nicola, who rolled clumsily this way and that. Nicola tried to get her tail flapping slowly like a merm
aid instead of wagging like an excited puppy. She had an awful feeling she might be the only one in the Space Brigade who didn't look like a competent scuba diver. Oh well, at least she was actually swimming and not splashing around, panicking.

  Sean swam toward the inky-black entrance of a tunnel about the size of a storm water drain.

  As Nicola and Katie followed behind the others, the beams of light from their helmets cut through the blackness like car headlights on a deserted road.

  The rocky, cavelike walls of the tunnel were covered in a black, oily substance. Slimy green weeds floated by like cobwebs. The bottom of the tunnel was covered in jagged, skeleton-white shells. Not surprisingly, there wasn't a fish in sight. The word claustrophobia came into Nicola's head. (She loved big words with lots of syllables. They were a sort of hobby for her.)

  Claustrophobia was a good word and she was pretty sure she could spell it.

  It meant a fear of confined spaces.

  Nicola could remember the first time she'd heard it. It was after the family had been for a visit to see their crazy great-aunt Annie, and on the way home, her dad had said that her living room made him feel claustrophobic. "She's got so many ornaments and doilies and stuff, I can feel the walls pressing in on me," he'd said. Nicola's mom had rolled her eyes and said, "Get a grip, Bob."

  You should try this, Dad,thought Nicola. You wouldn't be complaining about crazy Great-aunt Annie's house then!She tried to remember the picture she'd seen of Whimsy and Volcomania. The cylinder connecting the two planets didn't get narrower as it got closer to Whimsy, did it? That would be extremely claustrophobic.

  Think about something else! Anything else! Think about--oh my goodness, look at that!

  A school of tiny, yellow fish was swimming straight toward them. It seemed like a good sign. Maybe that was a sign they were getting farther away from Volcomania and closer to Whimsy. As the fish reached the Space Brigade, they scattered and reformed, creating a funnel-like effect. It was beautiful--like silent, miniature fireworks.

  "I wish I had an underwater camera," said Katie.

  They continued swimming without talking. There was no sound except for the swish of their tails in the water and the sound of air bubbles.

  Nicola realized that the color of the water was changing. The murky brown was gradually being replaced by a turquoise blue. They were definitely leaving Volcomania behind.

  More schools of fish appeared. They became bigger and brighter, with unusual shapes and intricate patterns and colors, like tropical flowers. Nicola was enchanted.

  "This is . . . gorgeous!"

  It was Sean's voice from up ahead and it made Nicola smile to hear him use such an un-Seanlike word as gorgeous.

  Then she understood.

  It was like she'd just entered fairyland.

  Nicola reached up and switched off her helmet light. There was no need for it anymore. Shafts of gold light from somewhere up ahead were bathing the tunnel in a gauzy stream. The slimy weeds and jagged shells and frightfully strange-looking fish had disappeared. Instead, they were swimming through a kaleidoscope of colorful coral. Lavish, ruby red petals and gold feathers swayed as if in a breeze.There were explosions of emerald green and boulders of sapphire blue. Nicola's eyes feasted as if on a glorious banquet.

  The farther they swam, the more beautiful and bizarre the sea life became, appearing and disappearing, as if she were watching an illuminated merry-go-round.

  A sea horse swam by with kind eyes on long stalks and floating baubles like the fringe of a shawl. A furry-skinned tortoise scurried along the sand. A creature with a comical, monkeylike face poked its head out from behind a piece of coral and then quickly pulled it back again.

  And swimming right along beside her, as if it were keeping her company, was a long, sleek, white . . . shark.

  Nicola swiveled her eyes to look at it.

  It had the tiny, mean eyes of a rat and the snarling mouth of an alligator.

  Of course, just because it looked like a nasty piece of work didn't mean it was dangerous. After all, sharks on the Planet of Whimsy might be whimsical, arty creatures. They might be pets!

  Then again, this shark had come from behind her. So it was probably more likely it was from Volcomania than Whimsy.

  She realized she should stop calling it a shark.That was an Earthling word. It might be called something quite different here. She wouldn't feel as frightened about it if it were called, for example, a teddy bear. Oh, look at the nice teddy bear, she would think to herself.

  Although, even if it were called a teddy bear, she still wouldn't like the look of those sharp, pointy teeth.

  "Nicola," said Katie. "Don't look now, but there is a horrible shark swimming right next to you."

  "It's not a shark," said Nicola. "It's a teddy bear."

  "Huh?" said Katie.

  Whatever the creature was called, it suddenly swam ahead, moving straight and fast like an expertly thrown dart.

  "Shimlara! Greta! Watch out behind you!" called Nicola.

  The shark stopped.

  "Oh no," said Katie quietly.

  It swam back around to face them, as if it were squaring up for a fight.

  Now Nicola saw that it didn't look that much like an Earthling shark at all. It had a curved horn in the middle of its forehead. A horn like you might see on a rhinoceros.

  It didn't make it look any friendlier or more teddylike. In fact--

  "Watch out!" screamed Katie.

  The shark-rhino was swimming straight for Nicola.

  Katie grabbed Nicola's arm and dragged her out of the way. Nicola heard the creature's horn clink against the glass of the bubble protecting her face.

  "It's coming after you!" cried Shimlara. "Swim!"

  Nicola and Katie swam as if they'd just heard the starter gun for the most important race of their lives.

  Greta and Shimlara took off, too. The frantic flapping of their mermaid tails created a washing-machine effect.

  As Nicola tried to see through the whirlpool of frothy white water, her eye was caught by something.

  The little arrow on the inside of her scuba diving suit's glass bubble had turned red. She had less than five minutes before her air ran out.

  CHAPTER 18

  Which would I prefer? thought Nicola.

  Option A: a vicious underwater attack by a shark-rhino?

  Option B: running out of air in the claustrophobic Underground Sea?

  Option C: painful, possibly fatal, decompression sickness from swimming too fast to the surface?

  NONE OF THE ABOVE,screamed Nicola silently.

  She looked up and saw she couldn't swim to the surface even if she wanted. She would just bump her head on the top of the tunnel and the shark-rhino would have her cornered. She knew that she should have been breathing slowly and calmly to conserve the last precious drops of oxygen but it was impossible. She was breathing in giant, panicky gulps.

  "Nicola!" cried Katie. She pointed at Nicola's leg. "It's got you!"

  Nicola turned her head and was aghast to see that the shark-rhino had its huge mouth clamped around her leg.

  Pain! Blood! Impending death!

  But actually . . . interestingly . . . she couldn't feel a thing.

  She could see the shark-rhino was doing its very best to take a large, satisfying bite out of her leg, but it was like it was trying to munch a leathery piece of steak. As Nicola watched, one of its sharp, pointy teeth actually snapped off and floated away.The shark-rhino pulled away from Nicola's leg with an offended look and swam off in a huff.

  Nicola laughed out loud with relief. "Our scuba diving suits are made of lava stone!" she called out to Katie. "They're impossible to break! We're perfectly safe!"

  Then she heard a shout from ahead.

  It was Sean's voice.

  "We're here! This is Whimsy!"

  Nicola and Katie swam in the direction of his voice.

  The tunnel came to an abrupt end and they swam out into a vastly differen
t world.

  Directly below Nicola was an endless landscape of colorful coral, like a mountaintop of wildflowers. Everywhere she looked, she could see schools of brilliantly colored fish and more weird and wonderful sea creatures, some tiny and exquisite, others huge and magnificent. When she looked up, she could see the transparent, rippled surface of the water swishing back and forth like a bedsheet fluttering in the breeze on a clothesline, and far, far above that, a blue sky.

  Nicola didn't want to go up to the surface. It was too beautiful down here. She could stay forever! She loved the weightless feeling of scuba diving. It was all so incredibly beautiful, she wanted to write a poem about it. How could it begin?

  Like a bird, I skim and fly

  Through prisms of sun-dappled sapphire

  Like a . . .

  "Remember to ascend slowly!" Tyler's voice broke through her thoughts like a slap across her face.

  Nicola saw the red arrow on the air gauge directly in front of her eyes and remembered that she was nearly out of air.

  What a fool! She could have wasted the remaining air she had left writing poetry! She really would have to be careful not to let this planet's beauty make her forget to concentrate.

  "Okay, let's go up!" she said to the others.

  "I think I'll stay down here for another hour or so," said Katie dreamily. "I've got an idea for a symphony! It goes like this. La-da-da-dum, la-da-da-da-da-dum!"

  Nicola saw Katie's eyes had a dazed, unfocused look. She remembered how XYZ40 had warned them that she and Katie might be more susceptible to Whimsy's beauty than the others.

  "Katie!" said Nicola sharply. "You can't stay down here composing symphonies! We've got to rescue Shimlara's family!"

  "Oh!" Katie blinked and her eyes came into focus. "Of course we do! Sorry!"

  Slowly and carefully, stopping for breaks, the Space Brigade swam up to the surface.

  Nicola kept a careful eye on her air gauge. Her breathing had slowed right down. She had never realized that beauty could have an actual physical effect.