HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  One in front of the other.

  In the garage, I looked around and opened my secret drawer.

  It was fucking empty.

  I slammed the drawer.

  “Looking for something?” Pop’s voice asked.

  I turned my head and he put the small bottle of whiskey down on the workbench.

  “Something you want to say?” I asked.

  “Something you want to say?” Pop threw at me.

  “Nothing.”

  “Good,” he said. “This is what you want then? Drown yourself in this garbage?”

  “Garbage? How much do you drink a day?”

  “I’m not running a business,” he said. “Or a life.”

  “You own both.”

  “One’s on paper and one’s on time,” Pop said. “You want to go round for round here, Jett?”

  I put my hands flat on the workbench. “I’m selling my house, Pop. I’m cashing everything in. I need to figure it all out. Once and for all.”

  He didn’t say a word.

  I slowly turned my head. “You hear me?”

  “I heard you,” he said. “So that’s it? I’m supposed to hand the keys over to… Weslee? Rhyno? Tony? Who?”

  “I didn’t say I’m bailing on the garage, Pop,” I said.

  “So what are you going to do?” Pop asked. “Piss all your money away on your broken heart? Live in your truck? I never knew you to be weak.”

  I slammed my left hand on the bench.

  The whiskey bottle tipped over.

  Don’t worry, Jett, the lid is still secured. Whew.

  “I’m not weak. I’m just finally doing something I should have done a long time ago.”

  “Right,” Pop said. “Well, you’re drunk. At work. So go home. Call someone for a ride. But if you want to get behind the wheel of your truck and do what your best friend did, then I guess we’ll see what happens.”

  Pop turned and wobbled his way back to the office.

  I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and walked out of the garage and to my truck.

  I got behind the wheel like a complete and total asshole.

  And I didn’t care.

  I took a bottle of water on the passenger seat and chugged the entire thing.

  To me, that was good enough.

  I drove away as Walker and Ryker were still handing out their apology to Henders.

  I laughed.

  Only for a few seconds.

  I couldn’t wait for my house to sell.

  I couldn’t wait to have no more ties to Hidden.

  I couldn’t wait for-

  I heard the cry of a police siren and looked up… I was fucked.

  * * *

  Dusty had a grin on his face that made me sick.

  The grin faded as he grabbed my truck door.

  “Want me to tell you a story, Jett?” he asked.

  “No,” I said.

  “Good. I was there the night Scott died.”

  “Scotty,” I said. I looked at Dusty. “Say it right.”

  “Scotty,” Dusty said. “You know what happened to him?”

  “What?”

  “I figure he was going well over ninety. And he made zero attempt to make the turn. Only two reasons why that could happen. He was either asleep. Or he wanted to miss the turn.”

  My hands gripped the wheel tighter. “Don’t fucking say that. Ever. Scotty would have never hurt himself.”

  “I agree, Jett,” Dusty said. “But he plowed through that guardrail and he went into the air. The tires hit halfway down the embankment. My guess is he hit, was thrown up into the top of the car… maybe it snapped his neck right there.”

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “Or maybe he died when he hit the tree and was thrown through the windshield like some asshole flicking a cigarette out of the window on the highway.”

  I stared at Dusty.

  He wasn’t done.

  “Figures though a good looking guy like Scotty would somehow go through a windshield, end up dead, and not fuck up his face.”

  I opened the door to my truck, driving Dusty back.

  He threw a hand out and grabbed my shirt. “Now what do you want me to do here, Jett? Haul your ass away? You realize what that’ll do to you? Are you fucking stupid?”

  “Pop called you. That old rat.”

  “Yeah, well, that old rat loves you,” Dusty said. “I hope you know that. He doesn’t even love his own sons.”

  “If Pop loves me, then he’s going senile,” I said.

  “So this is your stand, huh? You’re going to lose your mind right here on this road? Get tore up with booze and do what?”

  I reached back into my truck and turned it off.

  “Now what?” I asked.

  “Call someone to come get you. I’ll wait.”

  That was almost as bad as Dusty arresting me.

  And he knew it.

  If I called Pop, he’d tell me to stick my phone up my ass.

  There was no way I was calling Wes.

  So who…

  And that’s when I saw the way the world had flipped over on its side for real.

  Now I was the one on the side of road, needing help.

  And there was only one person to call.

  One person who would understand it.

  One person who could help me with it.

  And I knew she’d show up without question.

  Because there wasn’t a doubt in my mind or my heart that she loved me.

  It was a question of whether she loved someone else too.

  * * *

  I stood with my arms crossed while Julia talked to Dusty at his cruiser.

  Dusty was eating it up.

  Loving that after all these years of back and forth he finally had something on me. Something that was good. Fun for him. Something that didn’t require him to chase me around town or fill out paperwork or lecture me.

  Dusty touched Julia’s arm and nodded to her.

  He got back into his police cruiser and drove away.

  Of course the prick had to beep his horn at me.

  Beep, beep.

  I fought the urge to throw him the middle finger.

  Julia then approached me.

  Slowly at first.

  Halfway toward me, she sped up.

  She slammed her hands to my shoulders.

  And her eyes filled with tears.

  “What are you trying to prove, Jett?” she yelled at me.

  “Nothing.”

  “You want to end up like Scotty?”

  “Why not, sweetheart? We’re all dipping our toes into the past, aren’t we?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Tell me you haven’t been getting drunk because of Kinney coming back.”

  Julia stepped back. “That’s what this is?”

  “You tell me. Last time I checked you two were divorced. And we were getting things in order. Now what?”

  “I’m sorry, Jett. It’s not easy to just see him show up, okay? What am I supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know, Julia. You tell me. Laugh it off? Tell me about it? It’s like you’re sneaking around. Why? You want to meet up with him again? Talk things over?”

  “I never…”

  “I told you what I wanted,” I said. “I never hid from it. Then or now. I let you go back then, Julia. When all that bad shit happened at once, we both were feeling it hard. I could have kept you close. I could have forced you to stay. And you know it. But that’s not me. Look what happened.”

  “So is that what’s happening now, Jett? This is you letting me go? Acting like a stupid, tough guy?”

  I shook my head. “I’m just keeping things real.”

  “Real stupid,” she said.

  “My house is up for sale, sweetheart.”

  “What?” Julia asked.

  “I told you, I’m keeping it real. That’s not the house you want. It’s not even the one I want.”

  “So that’s… so�
� you’re just selling your house? For what?”

  “I know what I want,” I said.

  “You’re half-drunk right now.”

  “But I’m not afraid of the future with you.”

  “I’m not afraid of it either, Jett. But look at this. What are we doing here?”

  “I’m just waiting for the booze to burn off. And for you to figure out what you want. I know you love me, Julia.”

  “By acting this way, you’re letting Kinney win,” I said. “Just like before. All he wanted to do was get back at you for stealing me away.”

  “And you let him,” I said. “You let him tell you anything you wanted to hear. You convinced yourself you loved him. You married him to attack me.”

  Julia swung her hand.

  The slap across my face was well earned.

  And it hurt.

  I rubbed my cheek and laughed. “The truth strikes.”

  “You don’t know a thing about the truth, Jett. I tried coming to you. And you just… you just shoved me away.”

  “You were engaged. You made a promise to him. A promise I was going to ask you to make.”

  “You had a ring? Is that it? Huh?”

  “What if I did?” I asked. “What if I still do?”

  Julia blinked and a tear fell from her eye. “And that’s it, Jett. The crazy boy who kissed me in the woods became the guy who wanted everything perfect.”

  “And that’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Or maybe I was waiting for you to see some fucking sign. When Venus and Mercury fuck each over the Pacific Ocean with a half crescent fucking moon…”

  “You’re an asshole,” she said. She stepped back. “You’re an asshole. You’re the one who’s afraid. Okay, tough guy. Sell your house. Tease me about a diamond ring. Talk about the past. Get worried when another person is near me.”

  I shook my head. “The thing you never understood, Julia. You’re worth it. All of it. And you always will be.”

  “I’m leaving,” she said. “I need to think. I swear on my life, if you get into that truck and drive right now, I’ll never talk to you again.”

  Julia walked away to her car.

  When she drove off, I got into my truck but I didn’t start it.

  I didn’t drive.

  I opened the glovebox and stuck my hand inside.

  My fingertips touched the small, velvet box.

  The promise I never asked was in that box.

  And in a fucked up way, even if I lost Julia for good, I’d still always love her for forever…

  Chapter 15

  NOW

  Julia

  My bed felt like it was a mile wide.

  But it was only empty.

  I kept my arm stretched out, shutting my eyes, waiting for Jett.

  Begging for Jett in my heart and my head.

  I left him on the side of the road, sort of drunk, telling him not to drive. After I made a promise to Dusty that I would make sure Jett didn’t do anything stupid.

  Yet I was the one who did something stupid.

  And kept doing stupid things.

  Beyond leaving Jett on the side of the road.

  I left him hurting.

  I left him confused and without answers that he felt he deserved.

  But those answers he wanted… were ones I didn’t even really have either.

  It wasn’t my decision that sometimes these roads led back to Kinney. I mean, what did Jett think would happen in all of this? I had been dating Kinney when I met Jett. We had been together for a while. We had done things together. Asshole or not, Kinney was my first sense of love. Jett was my first sense of wild madness in my heart mixed with an intense feeling of lust that made me lose control of all my senses.

  And when that became love, there was nothing better in life.

  That sense of madness always swung above our heads - like monkeys at the zoo swinging from wall to wall.

  It showed itself when it wanted - both good and bad.

  Yeah, Jett and I drifted apart after Scotty’s death.

  That was the final whatever to break things between us.

  I chased him night after night, doing all I could to keep him from following in his best friend’s footsteps.

  When I needed a breather, Jett gave me one.

  But it was too much of a breather.

  We stopped talking.

  And then Kinney…

  It was just the moment.

  A sign.

  I shut my eyes and wanted to scream.

  Finding signs was the only way I ever got through bad things in my life.

  And Kinney was some kind of sign.

  The complete opposite of Jett.

  The way he talked, acted, treated me… everything.

  It wasn’t relief. It wasn’t comfort. It was just different.

  How did that end up with me wearing an engagement ring and promising I’d stay married to him until we were dead?

  The lies in my heart piled up really high.

  It was so easy to find a decent lie and sell it for free.

  But the truth was always right in front of me.

  Kinney wasn’t Jett.

  And I wanted to hurt Jett.

  * * *

  The duffel bags at the front door were heavy. Not heavy in weight but the material. It was like canvas or something. Really heavy duty stuff. Which was good. Kinney would be… somewhere.

  How is it that I don’t know where he’s going?

  Germany?

  Poland?

  Some mountain somewhere in the Swiss Alps?

  Or maybe he’s going to warmth.

  He’s talked about India. Jakarta. Egypt.

  But he was just in Egypt last year.

  Sending me selfies with the pyramids.

  I swallowed down my hurt and made a pyramid of cookies and took a selfie with that.

  He then told me his pyramid was bigger.

  How stupid.

  I look around the vast foyer and he’s nowhere to be found.

  I swing my foot and kick the bag.

  Of course it hurts my foot. Why wouldn’t it?

  My middle toe throbs in pain.

  Yeah, because my middle toes on my feet are longer than my big toes.

  I never cared about it until Kinney pointed it out.

  He said ‘I wonder what that means…’

  I hear his voice carrying from the kitchen.

  ‘You will be first call. I promise. Oh believe me, I’m packed up. I don’t care if I freeze my ass off. I’m going to see it.’

  I turn and Kinney looks at me.

  He used to smile.

  Now he’s just…

  ‘I’ll call you back,’ he says and hangs up the call. He points to the door. ‘Second thoughts?’

  Oh, I’ve had a lot of second thoughts.

  The first few months it was what he promised.

  Then it wasn’t.

  And it never became it again.

  Kinney sold it that he was a traveler. And I respected that.

  But it was more than traveling.

  When I declined the business offers from his friends, that was…

  ‘I’m going to go as far up into Canada as I can,’ he says. ‘So I won’t be all that far. Right?’

  ‘I’m pretty sure it’s far, Kinney.’

  ‘Hey, you have nothing to worry about here.’

  ‘I didn’t say I did.’

  ‘So is this the end of it all talk or what?’

  I swallow hard. ‘It’s kind of a big deal. I’m trying to hold onto everything. I don’t want your family to think-’

  Kinney laughs. ‘Right. My family? My drunk sister? Is that who you’re talking about. Please tell me we’re married still because of that. Because you know what, Julia? New rule. Everyone do whatever they want. What does it matter? I never thought my wife would become this.’

  ‘And I never thought I’d never see my husband,’ I say.

  �
�There’s something we agree on,’ he says. ‘I’m leaving. There’s no stopping that. Just like you not leaving. It’s the same concept.’

  I open the door. ‘Safe travels. Maybe you’ll call me this time.’

  ‘I warned you last time,’ he says. ‘The second I was able to call, I did.’

  It isn’t just about the last time either.

  It’s about all the others.

  ‘I think this is just our way of missing each other,’ he says. ‘Some people hug and kiss goodbye. Some get upset.’

  ‘Yeah. That’s what it is. That makes everything okay.’

  Kinney picks up his bags.

  I watch the way his veins bulge from his smooth arms.

  I think about all the times my fingers traced lines along those veins.

  At some point it meant something, right? At some point I felt something, right?

  Kinney leans toward me and turns his head.

  He offers me his cheek.

  His fucking cheek.

  That’s what I get for…

  I kiss his cheek.

  I succumb.

  Don’t think I’m weak though.

  Just wait.

  Kinney leaves the house and there’s a black SUV waiting for him halfway down the driveway.

  The back door opens and someone steps out.

  It’s some guy.

  A friend.

  A traveling friend.

  Sometimes I wish it was a woman.

  Just so I could say he’s fucking other people.

  But that’s cheap.

  This is my doing. My fault.

  It’s like I tripped and fell into a hole. And instead of climbing back out I decided to dig deeper. And the ground was made of broken glass. Yet I kept digging.

  I look at my fingers.

  They aren't bleeding. Obviously.

  The black car drives away.

  I hurry upstairs to the master bedroom.

  I reach under the bed and find the folder.

  Then in my nightstand I find my secret cigarettes.

  I slowly walk through the house and go out front.

  I sit on the giant top stop and light a cigarette.

  After that first beautiful drag I look down at the folder and open it.

  My eyes go to one word.

  Divorce.

  * * *

  I stood out on the deck and smoked.

  Whitney had the bakery under control.