It was almost closing time for the shop.
The end of the day.
Time to go home.
Which made me laugh now.
I had no home.
That rock star mansion felt like nothing but a shell to me.
And I had no desire to find another home.
I was like a nomad. Just wandering around. The only thing that kept me steady at the moment was the shop.
I finished my cigarette and left it smoking in the sand as I walked away.
That was an asshole thing to do, but part of me wished the beach could burn. Just burn and fall away.
I got back to my truck and wondered what was next.
Back to the shop.
Break Wes’s balls a little before sending him off to spend time with Aira.
Break Pop’s balls a little before he sent me off.
Hell, maybe I’d just show up at Julia’s again. See if she was still drinking away Kinney’s memory. Maybe I’d get an answer out of her. Get to the bottom of everything.
She didn’t need to talk to me about crazy.
I knew what we had was always crazy. But it was also real. It was the scary kind of real. The kind of real that changed your mind, heart, and your life. And even that never bothered us. Anybody who told us we were wrong or stupid, we would just laugh, drive away, and find a place to park and fool around in my car.
It didn’t make sense that life could have gotten that messy…
Wes called me, which broke up all my thoughts.
“You get that first bolt undone yet?” I asked him.
“Yeah, fuck the bolt and the ride, Jett.”
“What?”
“I’m not supposed to be calling you,” Wes said. “But…”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“There’s some guy here looking for you,” Wes said. “He looks a little off balance too.”
“Some guy?”
“It’s Aira’s Uncle Kinney.”
* * *
I didn’t remember a mile of the drive.
All that played through my head was anytime I had to deal with Kinney.
And after all these years, he was finally looking for me.
You’d think by now we’d have had a run in here or there.
But it never happened.
It never fucking happened…
The place is a small dump. But it’s better than living with Scotty.
It’s one room.
Well, two if you count the bathroom. Which is basically a glorified corner closet.
Toilet, sink, tub.
Not even a fucking shower.
But it’s home.
And when there’s a knock at the door, it’s usually someone looking for cash from someone who used to live here.
That’s why I keep the baseball bat in the corner behind the door.
I’ve had to use it twice since I moved in.
I ready myself as I stand at the door, waiting for the knock again.
It sounds and I rip the door open.
‘Julia?’ I ask.
‘Hey,’ she says, her eyes filling with tears.
‘What’s wrong?’
She shakes her head. ‘I shouldn’t be crying.’
‘Why?’
‘I did it. I walked away, Jett. I got out of it. I can’t do it. I hate it. I hate him. I want you. I want everything with you. I want to close my eyes, shake my head, and go back in time. Get everything back I gave him. And give it to you.’
I reach for her hand and pull her into the apartment.
I shut the door and engage all the locks.
My hands touch her face. ‘So we’re good?’
She nods. ‘We’re good.’
‘I’m going to miss sneaking around in the woods with you, sweetheart.’
‘We can still do that. But right now…’
My lips touch hers.
She jumps into my arms.
I finally have her.
Oh, goddamn, I have her.
I turn and walk her toward my bed.
I know one thing for sure…
No.
Two things.
First - tonight is a night we’re never going to forget.
Two - I’m never letting her go.
I pulled into the lot as the story finished in my head.
And there he was.
Kinney.
Leaning against some little two seater fancy fucking sports car.
Looking right at me.
Dressed like some douchebag from a catalog.
Where the rugged looking guy is wearing some ugly pattern cardigan shirt, holding a coffee mug, looking to a snowy mountain.
I got out of my truck and slammed the door.
“We’re closed,” I called out.
“No you’re not,” Kinney said.
“I swear on my life…”
Pop came out of the office with a shotgun.
Wes’s face dropped and turned white.
“Holy Christ,” Kinney yelled.
He hurried to hide behind his car.
“Go inside, Pop!” I yelled. “Don’t do something stupid.”
Kinney looked around. “This is your life? This is what you thought she wanted?”
“Okay, let’s do this then, Kinney,” I said to him. “Let’s have it out. You’re back in town to do this, right?”
“I was just passing through,” he said. “But it’s so quaint here. I might just settle for a little while. Dig up some roots.”
He laughed.
He had obviously been drinking. Maybe not drunk, but the booze was giving his mouth some muscle.
“You had her and lost her,” I said.
“So did you,” Kinney said. “Really? That’s the best you’ve got?”
I jumped toward him and grabbed his shirt. I slammed him against his car. “Whatever you did to hurt her she still feels it. And I’ll hurt you for that. Get in your car and leave for good. You divorced her. You ran out on her.”
“Everyone loves a second chance, Jett,” Kinney said. “She’s had her time with you. It’s clearer now what is right and what is wrong. Now get your fucking hands off me.”
I pushed away from Kinney. “You wanted her to be your puppet, Kinney. Your perfect girl. And you only went for her again because of me.”
“And you went after her because of me,” Kinney said. “You know what? This is all her fault. Not ours. Come on, Jett. Get in the car. Let’s go find a titty bar and drink Julia away. Is she really worth all of this shit?”
I swung.
I had to.
My knuckles cracked across his jaw and he spun around.
He slammed his hands off the side of his car, laughing.
Kinney turned and moved at me fast.
His traveling really paid off, because I wasn’t sure how the hell he did it, but he wrapped me up and tossed me to the ground like I was a toy.
I kicked my right foot to get away from him and I got to my feet.
No time to set our feet, I just charged at him.
Head down, driving my shoulder into his stomach, pushing him back to his car.
We both hit, but he took the brunt of it.
Kinney wrapped his arm around my neck to choke me.
I pulled back and we both started to swing.
He landed a punch.
I landed two on him and went for more.
“Jett!” a voice yelled.
I swung one more time and that dropped Kinney to his ass.
I turned and saw Julia standing a few feet away, covering her mouth.
“He showed up,” I said. “He wanted this to happen.”
Julia looked around. “I can’t believe this.”
Kinney laughed on the ground. “Whew, that felt good, Jett. Now you can let her go for good. Do the right thing.”
My eyes never left Julia. “Yeah? Is that what you want? Want me to do the right thing here? Let you go for good?”
“He walked you into
this,” Julia said. “You couldn’t let me handle it. Figure it out.”
“What’s there to figure out?” I asked.
“Everything,” Julia said. She backed up and pointed at me. “I tried to come back, Jett. You pushed me away. I was ready…”
“When you were married to him?” I asked.
“I think I’m going to go get a drink,” Kinney said. “Anyone want to join me?”
I turned and Julia rushed toward me and grabbed my arm. “Don’t do anything else. He wants you to, Jett. He wants…”
I shook Julia away.
I looked at her. “You know what? He had you first. Right? All those firsts you wished you could take back. I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
“This isn’t about me,” Julia said.
“Yes it is, sweetheart,” I said. I touched her cheek. “It’s always been about you. I can sell everything I own and say I’m walking away but I’ll just end up too stupid to do that. I’ll just wait forever. For you. The only sign I ever had in my life.”
“Jett, listen to me,” Julia said.
She tried to grab my arm again.
I moved away. “Words mean shit anymore, Julia. Get Kinney out of here. If he shows up again, I’ll beat him senseless. Oh, and by the way, Pop is waiting with a shotgun. So, yeah, get him out of here.”
“Jett, we need to talk,” Julia said. “There’s stuff you don’t know.”
“I know enough,” I said. “It’s been enough. I’ll never stop loving you, Julia. I can’t. I don’t know how to not love you.”
I walked back to my truck and I drove the hell out of the lot.
Questions. Answers. No answers. Time. Truth. Lies. Looking away.
All I could do then was drink the memories away.
13
THEN
Jett
I turned my head and saw Wes finally shut his eyes.
I was too big to be sitting on the floor, waiting for the monsters to leave so he could sleep. And he was too old for this too. Shit, he was almost as big as me already.
But tonight he was like a kid again.
Trying to grab at something that looked like innocence to chase away the pain.
My only choice was to stay right next to him because the look in his eyes mirrored a look I wore too many times to count in life. The kind of look that wanted booze. Violence. Revenge on the world.
And, Wes, kid, there is no revenge on the world. You swing at her and she’s going to swing back harder.
And I could hear him telling me what could be worse than what was happening right now?
If Wes threw that at me I would have been silent.
What could have been worse than your four year old brother drowning in the ocean on your watch?
The thought made me shiver.
Everything tried to play through my head but I hit the pause button.
It wasn’t time for that just yet.
I still had a few more things to take care of first.
Everyone needed sleep. Even if it was shit sleep, it was sleep.
Tomorrow the little guy was going to be laid to rest.
I shut my eyes and saw the small casket.
My stomach twisted and felt like it was full of broken glass.
I carefully got to my feet.
In the craziness of life, this was a small victory. That I still had the ability to sneak around Wes’s room in complete silence. Like when he was little. And he would be bouncing off the walls and Carolyn would call me to come help. I’d take him outside and we’d play in the dark and make up games and I’d make him run his ass ragged until he was tired.
Yeah, when Carolyn got pregnant with Azel that was a shock and a disaster. Wes had been a mess over Aira leaving town with her parents. Even though he refused to admit it. My focus was on him to make sure he didn’t do something stupid… only to have Carolyn do something stupid. And there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I couldn’t scold her for getting pregnant. So I was there.
And the first time I met Azel, it proved that sometimes good can come out of a bad situation.
I swallowed hard and reached for Wes.
My hand touched his shoulder and he rolled to his side and let out a groaning breath.
I pulled the covers up to his shoulders and leaned down and kissed his head.
I love you, kid. You’re going to be stronger because of this. And I’m not sure what comes after death but you’re still a big brother. Azel will always be with you.
I left Wes’s room and walked down the hall.
The door on the left was shut.
Something told me it was going to stay shut for a long time too.
I simply put my hand to the door.
I didn’t need to see the empty bed. The little, empty bed. Or the race car posters on the walls. Or the little surfboard that Wes bought him last Christmas. Or the little set of tools that I bought him. I found this plastic car that you take apart and rebuild. He was excited. He wanted to be like Unca Jett.
Unca… Jett…
My teeth chattered and I walked down the hall.
Carolyn was on the couch.
The coffee table was a mess of mugs half full of coffee, bottles of wine and vodka, and pictures.
I stood at the couch and did the same for her as I did for Wes.
I pulled a blanket up to her shoulders and leaned down and kissed her head.
I’ve got nothing, Carolyn. Just know I’m here. No words. There are no words that will do anything for you right now. But I’m here.
There were plenty of places for me to grab some sleep in the house.
But I wasn’t there yet.
Instead, I went outside.
I went to my car.
I started it.
I drove.
As though it wasn’t me doing any of it. I was just a passenger to my own self at the moment. Knowing where I was going. Knowing I was going to step onto the beach where Wes had taken his little brother to kill some time so Carolyn could grab some sleep because she had been working an overtime third shift to keep things afloat.
And, yeah, there was a little anger in my heart over that. I knew damn well Pop had offered to help out several times. Pop knew his son was a piece of shit. But Carolyn didn’t want a handout. She wanted to work and survive on her own.
I parked my car and I faced the beach.
I walked onto the sand and refused to take my shoes off.
The sound of the waves crashing were no longer soothing.
They were deadly. Evil. Like a monster slowly crawling toward its victim.
I walked to the point where dry sand became wet sand.
I watched the last grab of the waves, so gentle, sweeping across the beach, sucked right back out.
I slowly dropped to one knee and put my hand to the wet sand.
And I waited.
The water moved toward me, my eyes seeing it in slow motion. The water moved over my hand, grabbing me. Maybe it was trying to take me too. Or maybe it was trying to apologize…
A sharp pain went down the middle of my back.
Along with pressure.
Like someone with the biggest foot in the world was standing on my back.
I sucked in a breath and let out a growl.
Then another.
And another.
Until I finally shut my eyes and yelled.
I yelled until I needed a breath.
I gasped for a breath and yelled again.
I put my other hand to the wet sand.
I probably looked like I was in some dumb yoga pose. Or just some drunk asshole in jeans. Or a dog lapping up the water.
When I screamed, it chased all my thoughts away.
And then I suddenly stopped.
And there was no echo.
No others voices around me.
Just the sound of the ocean.
The thing that took Azel.
And it was never going to shut the fuck up.
My phone ra
ng with a text message.
I pulled my right hand out of the wet sand and reached for my phone.
In case it was Wes or Carolyn. Or Pop. Not that Pop knew how to send a text message, but it could have been someone who found him dead. Which wouldn’t have shocked me. He had himself barricaded with whiskey, desperate to find a way to bring his grandson back to life in exchange for his own life.
The text message was a simple question that wasn’t easy to answer.
R u okay?
I stared at it for more than a few seconds.
What made it worse…
It was from Julia.
* * *
I didn’t have the exact days counted.
But I knew how long it had been since I’d seen her.
And I knew everything that had happened in that timeframe.
Last time we spoke in person she wasn’t married.
That last time she seemed so unsure of life. And she came to me for… help? Advice? Maybe she wanted me to grab her and pin her against the side of my car and kiss her. Or push her up against a wall and remind her what true love was like. Or put her on the back of my motorcycle and get her the hell away from the mistake she was about to make.
But none of that happened.
She got married.
And she was still married.
And now she ran down the beach toward me.
Like I had woken up in a dream.
Running in jeans and a ladies flannel that was all unbuttoned so it flew behind her like a cape. Her hair messy and reaching back like her flannel.
I had no idea how I must have looked to her.
She closed in on me and all I wanted to do was hug her.
But I knew I couldn’t-
Julia launched herself toward me and hugged me.
She crashed against me and I put my right foot back to keep my balance. My arms hung at my sides. Her arms around me.
She still smelled the same.
At least he didn’t change everything about her, right?
“Jett,” she whispered. “Ohmygod… Jett…”
I felt her stomach twitch, pressed against my body.
She broke the hug when she realized I wasn’t going to reciprocate.
She wiped the corners of her eyes.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing,” I said.
Julia opened her mouth but didn’t say anything at first.
Instead, she plopped down, putting her ass right into the sand.
HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel Page 15