Sweetheart -
Coffee and bread to get you started on opening the bakery again.
Nothing is the same without you.
Whatever you lost when we lost each other you should find again.
Even if you’re happily married to someone who isn’t me.
Bake the bread.
Make the coffee.
Be the badass that used to be sneaking a cigarette in the woods, waiting for the lonely fighter to come kiss you.
I put my hand over my mouth.
My eyes scanned left to right across all the coffee and the bread.
I wanted to cry but started to laugh.
The tears did come a minute or so later.
I collapsed to the floor in the motel bathroom.
I wiped the tears off my cheeks.
My tattoo itched.
The coffee he got me wasn’t all that great.
Jett was an asshole.
What was I going to do with all this fucking bread?
Chapter 19
NOW
Julia
Whitney pointed to the front door. “Go. I’m firing you.”
“You can’t fire me,” I said. “You don’t own the place.”
“Fine,” she said. “But if you don’t leave, I’ll get ten food trucks and run you out of business.”
“I’ll spread rumors about your food,” I said. “Believe me, Whitney, you don’t mess with someone who lives in this town.”
“Go,” she said. “If Aira gets there before you…”
“I know,” I said.
I sighed.
I wanted to meet Aira at the bakery but she wasn’t buying into it. It was my own fault for forgetting to talk to her. And how stupid was that? That in itself was a pile of guilt I deserved but didn’t need.
I opened my mouth and Whitney put up a finger.
“There is nothing going on here,” she said. “Everything is fine. Stop being stubborn.”
“I’m not stubborn,” I said.
“Of course not. How dare I say that.”
“Goodbye,” I said. “And thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” Whitney said. “You are paying me.”
I didn’t leave through the front door.
But I did leave.
I drove home to find a motorcycle out front of my house.
Wes with a hand around Aira’s waist.
Both of them smoking.
If that wasn’t a damn snapshot of the past, I didn’t know what was.
It took my breath away for a second.
Like a mini version of Jett and Julia.
Aira turned and said something to Wes. He tossed his cigarette to the ground and cupped her face, kissing her. Part of me wanted to be like Aunt Bea and hate all of this, but I could tell by the way he gently touched her face and the way she moved to her toes to kiss him, this was all real.
The real kind of real.
The kind I had…
Wes nodded to me, got on his motorcycle, and took off.
Aira walked toward me, still smoking, a bitchy look on her face, cold enough to freeze the sun into darkness.
She was beautiful bitchy too.
“Really?” she asked me, pointing to the FOR SALE sign in the front yard.
“I have a lot to tell you,” I said. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”
“And Jett is doing the same to Wes,” Aira said. “I have never seen Wes so scared in my life.”
“Scared?”
“He thought Jett was leaving. Because of you.”
I sighed. “Aira…”
“Don’t tell Wes I said that,” I said.
“My lips are sealed,” I said.
“Oh, I know,” Aira said. “Like… what the hell?”
I motioned her to follow me and we walked around to the back of the house to the deck.
“I don’t know what Jett is doing,” I said. “So whatever Wes is thinking or feeling…”
“He talked to Jett,” Aira said.
“Oh. And?”
Aira laughed. “Really? You want to get dirt on Jett from me and Wes? That’s how you’re going to play it? You do realize I go to HCH right? The amount of shit that happens there each day…”
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s not your business. You’re right.”
“I heard Uncle Kinney is in town again,” Aira said.
I lowered my head and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Is that what this is all about?”
“You’re young, Aira.”
“Oh, stop that,” Aira said. She grabbed my arm when we were two steps up to the deck. “Are you being for real though? I thought you and Uncle Kinney got divorced? That it was over? You and Jett were getting really close again. I was happy for you. Excited for you, Julia. I didn’t say anything because I know that kind of stuff makes you feel pressured.”
I laughed. “I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on you, Aira. Not the other way around.”
“I think we kind of keep an eye on each other,” Aira said.
“True. And I can’t answer your question. I don’t know. Kinney came back because of your mother.”
“Big shock. What did she do now?”
“You never hear from her?”
“Nope,” Aira said.
I swallowed hard. I grabbed Aira’s hand. “Hey. I am really sorry for all of this. I’m really happy you have Wes. And please don’t let whatever is happening with Jett and I mess you two up.”
“What if it’s too late?”
“For what?”
“Julia, you and Jett… it’s me and Wes. I’m not an idiot. And if you two can’t make it…”
“No,” Julia said. “Don’t think that. Our situation is different. We had a lot happen…”
“Um, really?” Aira said. “Ryland?”
My heart sank. “Right.”
“Elijah. Nova. Rory. Cecily.”
“Okay, I get it,” I said. “You’re right.”
I forgot everything that had happened to Aira since she came to live with me in Hidden.
“What is going on?” Aira asked.
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Oh, Aira,” I said. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. “Shit. This isn’t fair to you. At all.”
“Then just give me an idea of what’s going to happen,” she said. “Are you done with Jett? Are you getting back with Uncle Kinney? And you’re selling your house?”
I broke the hug and walked to the far end of the deck and stared out at the ocean.
“There’s a lot there, Aira,” I said. “But I want to answer your questions. When things went wrong with Jett, there was no real end to it. Okay? And then the same thing happened with Kinney.”
“But you got divorced.”
“Yes,” I said. “But it wasn’t the way it should have been done. I fought hard, Aira. To pick myself back up. I reopened the bakery. I worked and saved and I finally got the house I always wanted.”
“Which you’re now selling.”
“Yeah,” I said with a sigh. “I can’t put my finger on it. But I’m ready to move on from it all. That doesn’t mean I’m leaving Hidden. Or the bakery. I have a really good thing with the woman I hired. She’s really smart and she wants to help me grow things. I can figure out the rest as it happens. I think in a way I put my feet down and just… waited. Now, I’m so happy I had this house, Aira. Without it, I wouldn’t have become who I am. I wouldn’t have been able to help you when you needed it.”
Aira nodded. “I understand. I just don’t understand the whole Jett and Kinney thing.”
“Well…”
“And don’t say I’m young,” Aira said. “Because it’s not about age. It’s about… you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Something about Jett makes you want him but also makes you afraid of him. And then for some awful reason you use Uncle Kinney as a shield. An excuse.”
“Wow,” I said, touching my chest.
“No. I appreciate that, Aira. I can’t explain it.”
“My family is a disaster, Julia,” Aira said. “The only good that ever came from you and Uncle Kinney was you being in my life. You were the only one who understood anything about me. But look at my family. You really want to be a part of that?”
I laughed. “I love you, Aira. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything that was going on. It’s all been happening so fast. The thing with Jett… when we were younger, everyone wanted us to stay apart. Now everyone wants us together. We tried to take it slow and there is no slow. And then things just… they get dark. Like we’re cursed.”
“If it’s worth it, then there is no curse,” Aira said. She looked back at the house. “Is there anything I need to get out of there? Or do you need help moving anything?”
“Actually…” I shrugged my shoulders. “Margaret - my realtor - called to tell me the house sold.”
“What?” Aira asked.
“She said she would sell it fast,” I said.
“So that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
Aira’s chin quivered.
I felt horrible because I never considered what this house meant to her. Her house had caught on fire. And she almost died in that fire. And then she was thrown into a horrible situation between her mother and father. Rushed back to Hidden to live with me, this house became her new home. The home she’d sneak out of to go see Wes on the beach. The home she’d sneak Wes into to piss me off.
I put my hand to hers.
“If you want, I’ll leave and you can have Wes come over one more time. Just for fun.”
Aira offered a weak smile. “This is a lot. I need a cigarette.”
I nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
* * *
It was typical Julia to have the house packed before selling it.
Which meant there wasn’t all that much to actually do.
I just needed the muscle to load up the boxes and put them into a storage unit.
That was for another day though.
Margaret had called me three times, excited, rambling, wanting to celebrate.
I couldn’t blame her for that. The number she showed me for the house wasn’t what it was sold for.
It sold for more.
A lot more.
Two people had gotten into a bidding war and I was the one who reaped the riches of that war.
Go me.
Of course, with each dollar the price went up, so did Margaret’s commission.
So it was win-win for both of us.
But I wasn’t going to celebrate with her.
I wasn’t going to celebrate with anyone. Not even myself.
And I should have been excited and celebrating.
Selling the house for what I sold it for, plus what Whitney and I had planned for the bakery, things were amazing.
Except they weren’t.
I sat on the top step of the deck, alone, and when I heard a whistle, I knew who it was without looking.
Kinney smiled at me, holding a bottle of champagne.
“Heard the news,” he said.
“What? How?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Kinney said. “I’m happy for you. I hope this is what you want. Well, of course it is. This is smart. It’s what you need.”
“Really?” I asked. “You’re going to start dictating to me now?”
“Sorry,” Kinney said. “Bad habit. So you don’t want to celebrate?”
“Not really,” I said.
“Fair enough,” he said. He put the champagne bottle on the last step. “Do what you want with this.” He stood up and put his hands into his pockets. “So what’s next?”
“With what?”
“Life, Pretty J,” Kinney said.
“Not sure yet.”
“Can I say something?”
“Do I have a choice but to hear it?”
“Nope,” he said. “I fucked everything up. Before. The way it all happened. I knew things weren’t right, Julia. I knew where it was going. I didn’t want to be the couple that fought until they got divorced. I thought it would have been easier to just do it while I was away. Just end it before it got bad.”
“It already was bad, Kinney,” I said.
“Yeah. I figured that out later. And I never got to say goodbye. Or how I felt.”
“Is that why you’re back then? Kick up some old memories?”
“No,” Kinney said. “I think I want to stay and make new ones.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m here, Julia. I can easily go live where Stella is. Or anywhere I want. But I’m here. You’re selling this place. I’m sorry… you sold this place. Maybe it’s time.”
“For what?”
Kinney stepped toward me. “I’m not saying we get married, Julia. I’m not saying we do anything. But what if I did something I should have done a long time ago.”
“Which is what?”
“You talked about some small town north of here,” Kinney said. “You talked about the way it was a small town during the day and like a little busy city at night. Let’s go. Let’s take a night or two and go. We can road trip out. There’s a diner I’d love to show you.”
“Kinney.”
“Julia. I’ll stop over tomorrow.”
“I’m moving stuff tomorrow.”
“Then the next day. Or when it’s done,” Kinney said. “I’ll stay out of the way. I don’t want to cause problems. I mean that. And then we can go. I’ll drive myself. You drive yourself. So there’s nothing… I don’t know. Committed? I don’t know, Julia.”
I slowly stood up. “I wanted to leave you first, Kinney. And I never got the chance. I wanted to show you that I was stronger than you.”
“I already knew that,” Kinney said. “You were always the strongest person I knew. Except when it came to one other person.”
“I don’t know where anything goes from here with anyone,” I said. “I’m making that clear.”
“I hear it clear,” Kinney said. “I’m leaving right now. Congrats on selling the house. Time to move forward. Remember that. Good or bad.”
Kinney put his hands together in prayer and kissed his thumbs.
With his ten thousand bracelets and his wanderer look.
He slipped away into the night.
When he was gone, I got into my car and went for a drive.
It was time to get some answers.
* * *
Jett walked toward his truck as I leaned against the side of my car, smoking.
He stopped for a second when he saw me, but then he kept going.
He had the balls to get into his truck and not only start it, but start to drive away.
As he moved by me, he slowed and leaned across the seat.
“We’re closed,” he yelled. “You get locked in, you’re staying the night.”
“I have a change of clothes and some blankets,” I said. “Actually, I have a packed car. Everything that’s important in it. I’m sort of homeless.”
His truck came to a stop.
He got out and walked around the front of the truck.
“What is this?” he asked.
“I didn’t want you to end up in trouble over everything,” I said. “You want to beat the hell out of Kinney, then fine. I should have stayed out of it. But I knew he had been drinking a little. And he was trying to prove a point. Like he always does.”
“And you’re always worried about those points of his,” Jett said.
“No, I’m not. Not at all, Jett.”
“What are you doing here?”
“My house sold,” I said. “I already have it all packed up. I’m moving everything into storage and that’s it.”
“You’re out of here?”
“Don’t know. I still have the bakery. And Whitney.”
“You two have a thing going on?”
I shook my head. “You look like a man and act like a boy.”
/> “Just curious.”
“Yeah. You never gave me a chance to talk.”
“About?”
“This isn’t about making a point,” I said. “Or accepting someone else’s point.”
“Okay.”
“I was going to leave first, Jett,” I said. “With everything in my life. I wanted to get out of my house. Then it was taken. I wanted to get out of Aunt Bea’s way and then she was gone. Same with us. I wanted to tell you to go fix yourself after Scotty died. I stood by you for so long and watched you…” I sucked in a breath. “I wanted to do it. But you did it. And it doesn’t matter how everything happened with Kinney. It just did. Okay? But I was the one who started it first. I had papers printed to go over while he was gone. It was my decision to divorce him. And you know what happened?”
“What?” Jett asked.
“He did it first,” I said. “While he was gone. He wanted it done fast and clean. And I was left…”
Jett put his head back. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’m the one who’s going to make the decision,” I said. “With everything. And everyone. And I don’t care what anyone thinks. If you can’t see that, Jett, then you’ve always been blind.”
Jett looked at me. “I’m far from blind, sweetheart. I wish I was. Then I wouldn’t feel this empty. This dead inside. Because looking at you just ruins everything in my life. And the promises I made to stay here I have to keep. But the promises I made to you are the exact same. I will keep them.”
“If that’s true, then you’ll wait and let me make the decision this time.”
Jett shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ve always made the decision, Julia. From the second I met you. The only thing I ever did was say and do what you were thinking already.”
Jett walked back to the truck, got inside, and took off.
I covered my mouth and sucked in a broken breath.
If Jett was right, then I must have sucked at making decisions because all I kept feeling was pain.
I looked back at my car.
Packed tight.
My house was sold.
My stuff was going to be put into storage.
I had no place to live.
HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel Page 19