All I wanted was to reach for everything and I ended up with nothing.
Chapter 20
NOW
Jett
I dropped the folders onto the desk and Pop jumped up from a nap.
“Goddamn bitches,” he cried out as his eyes popped open.
“Wow,” I said. “Good dream?”
Pop touched his chest. “You trying to kill me?”
“Nah,” I said. “If time can’t kill you, I sure as hell can’t. Face it, Pop, you’re going to live forever.”
He waved a hand. “What do you want, Jett?”
“Closing up. Work’s done. I sent everyone home. I’m swinging by Cherry’s to say hello. Haven’t seen her in a while.”
“I don’t need to know your damn schedule. Go get a girlfriend if you feel like talking to someone.”
“Good advice,” I said. “And, hey, careful of those bitches. Those dreams can haunt you.”
“Get out of here,” Pop yelled.
I laughed as I walked out of the office.
I looked back at the glowing sign of WEAZ AUTO.
It shut off a few seconds later.
“Goodnight, Pop,” I said.
I drove to Cherry’s house in silence.
The worst thing now was pretending.
Pretending to myself.
Julia used the word wait.
As opposed to what? What the hell had I been doing all this time? It was easy to walk away. It was harder to stay and wait. And that’s all I had done. I’d never regret a thing that happened between me and her. Then or now.
Then. Or now.
Then.
Now.
Those two words found a way to erase their distance and slam together.
I hated it.
And that’s why I was on my way to Cherry’s.
Not just to check up on her.
I needed some comfort food.
A hug.
A smack upside the head.
Some black pepper in my mouth…
Fuck.
* * *
I wash my bowl after eating a healthy serving of chili.
“Here, have a second,” Carolyn said as she stuck her bowl under the water.
“Thanks,” I said to her.
“I think our little lovebird is tired.”
I smiled and turned my head.
Cherry was in her favorite chair.
This was something new to see.
Her making something to eat and then going to sit down and relax.
“Gary must be wearing her out,” I said.
“Oh… don’t…”
“They’re probably going at it like rabbits,” I said.
“Jett, stop. If she’s… doing that… and I’m not…”
“That’s your own fault.”
Carolyn put her hands to her hips. “Oh, by all means, I’d love to hear this now. I always appreciate a Jett lecture. And you always find a way to offer me one when your life is shit.”
“Who said my life is shit?” I asked.
“You showed up like a teenager who got dumped,” she said.
“And what are you doing here?” I asked.
Carolyn grabbed a towel and the bowl I had just finished washing. “West has been bothering me again.”
“Shit.”
“Nobody knows. Not even Cherry.”
“You know the last time…” I held back. “Never mind. You already know everything.”
“Thanks.”
“So what happened?”
“I’m avoiding him,” she said. “I just feel safe here.”
“Me too,” I said.
“Are you avoiding Julia?”
“I’m just waiting.”
“For?”
“I have no fucking idea, Carolyn.”
She sighed and put her head to my arm. “It’s always a mess.”
“She basically had her entire life dictated to her,” I said. “I always knew that. I always gave her space. She never got her peace in a lot of things. Including us. I told her that she’s always made the decision with us. I’m still here. I’m still waiting.”
“And that’s not your style,” Carolyn said. “Big, tough guy being brought to his knees by a woman.”
“I can’t let go.”
“Then I guess you keep waiting,” Carolyn said.
“And wash some dishes. And take some chili to go. And…”
“Dude, we’re old,” Carolyn said.
“Dude, you’re much older than me.”
“Prick,” Carolyn said.
“I heard that!” Cherry yelled.
“Sorry,” Carolyn said. “Jett dared me to say it.”
Cherry rose up from her chair and walked toward the kitchen.
Her presence alone was intimidating and comforting at the same time.
“I’m no fool,” she said. She had her right pointer finger waving, which meant business. “First off, what Gary and I do in bed is our business. We’re aged, not dead. Remember that.”
I grinned. “Good for you, Cherry.”
“Hush, Jett,” Cherry said.
“Ha,” Carolyn whispered.
“You too,” Cherry snapped. She pointed at Carolyn. “You think waiting around for West is smart? It’s all you’ve done. And that man keeps messing with you because you let him. The same with his entire family. This is what he does. He’s a weasel. He shows up and sneaks away. And if you can’t look in the goddamn mirror and realize just how special and beautiful you are, then get some goddamn glasses.”
“Whoa,” I said. “Need some ice for that burn, Carolyn?”
“I’m not done,” Cherry said. Now her finger was pointed at me. “You. You and Julia. How dumb can you be? You linger around here for years and then you decide it’s time for her to take you back? Or you suddenly want her back? What did you think she was going to do? Huh? She’s not weak. She’s not going to take that from you. And I don’t want to hear this nonsense about the ex-husband. Nonsense. It’s all nonsense.”
“Cherry…”
“Cut me off again and I’ll cut your tongue out,” Cherry said.
I covered my mouth.
Damn.
“You’re talking about waiting for her? Really? Waiting for her? Since when do you wait? And that doesn’t mean show up and throw her into the bed for a little romp.”
“Nothing little about my romps,” I said.
Cherry walked to the knife block and took out a long knife.
“Sorry,” I said.
She put the knife on the counter. “That’s all I’ve got then. I hear everything. I know everything. I know why you’re both here. Same reason everyone comes here.”
“It’s because we love you, Cherry,” Carolyn said.
“Of course you do,” Cherry said. “I know who I am. And I love you both right back. And everyone else. Now, get a container with a matching lid. Scoop yourself some chili and then get the hell out of here. I’m tired.” Cherry paused and looked at me. “From all the romping with Gary.”
I heard Carolyn sigh.
She lowered her head.
I smiled.
I gave Cherry a thumbs up.
She pointed to the knife.
Point taken.
* * *
My phone rang as I stood on the edge of my property, watching the ocean. I did it Julia’s way. I looked for a sign. I checked the sky. The ocean. The waves. The sand. I stayed silent and waited. For something…
The only sound besides the crashing waves was the sound of my phone ringing.
It was Julia calling.
“So I guess you’re my sign,” I said.
“What?”
“Nothing. Hey.”
“Hey.”
“You called.”
“I did.”
“So talk.”
“About?”
“Julia…”
“My house is gone,” she said. “For good. I know you know that. But it’s all gone now. I’m m
oved out. And I was supposed to meet him at a diner.”
“Kinney.”
“Yeah. I told Kinney about the town we went to.”
“What?”
“That night… after the funeral?”
“Right. The tattoos…”
“Yeah. I told him about the town. But not about you. I didn’t even realize I did it, Jett. But I did. And he wanted me to meet him at a diner and then go there. To figure out what going forward means.”
“Good to know,” I said. “You calling me for directions?”
“Asshole. I’m already there. Here. Or whatever. I’m standing outside the room we shared.”
“How was the diner?” I asked.
“I never stopped. I drove by and flipped Kinney off.”
I shut my eyes and smiled. “You’re crazy, sweetheart.”
“I need you, Jett. You were right. I made my decision a long time ago. And you did too.”
“Don’t move.”
“What?”
“Don’t move, sweetheart,” I said.
I ended the call and ran back to the house to get my keys.
The house wasn’t even mine anymore.
Someone bought it.
And I didn’t give a damn either.
I could leave everything behind and still be happy.
I took my motorcycle.
Because why the fuck not?
I was going to get my girl.
My girl. My woman. My heartbeat.
And I wanted to make the loudest entrance I possibly could.
* * *
She leaned against the same yellow concrete wall, one foot back against the wall, smoking a cigarette.
She wasn’t the same Julia as the night I met her.
Which was good.
Now she was the woman I wanted in my arms every damn night of my life.
“You brought the motorcycle?” she asked. “Really?”
“Something wrong?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know anymore, Jett. I think there’s a lot wrong.”
“Then let’s fix it,” I said.
Julia dropped the cigarette and showed me something in her left hand.
The key to the room.
The same room from that night.
Before the door could shut behind me, I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward me.
She spun around and fell into my arms.
My hands touched her face.
“There was never a decision to make, Julia.”
“I know,” she said. “I just had to…”
“I know. And did you?”
She nodded.
She put her hands to my chest and pushed herself away.
It was kind of weird that the same chair was in the same spot.
I took a seat and she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I took care of everything, Jett,” she said.
“Meaning?”
“I didn’t just flip Kinney off and drive away.”
“Too bad.”
“I mean, I didn’t go back. I called him. Well, he called me. I answered and told him to hang up that I was calling him. And I made sure nothing was left unsaid. And I made sure it was done my way. Just like the bakery. Just like my house.”
“Just like this,” I said.
“Damn right, Jett. I called you here.”
I leaned forward. “It was always there for me, sweetheart. The way everything happened. So much at once. And it was all… like watching love getting ripped apart in front of our faces. Art to Aunt Bea. Aunt Bea to you. Scotty. I told him…” I shook my head.
“What?” Julia asked.
“That night. He was talking about you and me. And I told him he should get his own girl. Find that true love. Because there’s nothing like it. The realest feeling where nothing can get in your way. He talked about a girl. He left to go see her. That was his grand gesture. Because of what I said.”
“Jett… no…”
I held my hand up. “It doesn’t matter now. But I carried that. I was watching love die all around us. And when things drifted with us… what the fuck am I doing?” I stood up. “Why does it fucking matter?”
I reached for my right sleeve and lifted it, showing off the spade tattoo.
Julia leaned back a little on the bed and showed me hers.
I growled under my breath.
My teeth gritted.
She didn’t move.
I stepped toward the bed. Toward her.
I slowly moved down to one knee and put my hands to the bed. I inched forward and brushed my lips to her hip, right across the tattoo.
She sighed and shivered.
“Jett, look at me,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
“I made that decision,” she said. “For you to kiss me there.”
“Of course,” I said. “You know, I sort of regret throwing the ring away now.”
“What?”
“I had an engagement ring for you, sweetheart. I wasn’t lying. I tossed it down a sewer and beat the shit out of some guy.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Oops.”
I moved up and pressed my lips to hers.
The only thing I ever really wanted in life.
I broke the kiss and put my forehead to hers.
“Oh, Jett,” Julia said. “What am I going to do with you?”
I grinned and kissed her again. “Sweetheart… that’s your decision.”
Chapter 21
THEN
Jett
(epilogue)
I balled up the wrap from the breakfast sandwich and threw it across my car. It hit the window, bounced off the seat, and fell to the floor. There was a time when I was very picky on the way my vehicles looked on the inside. And the outside, of course. That was a different time though. Just like everything else in life. A different time. Each day that went by became part of that different time narrative.
After I parked the car, I walked to the front of it and rubbed my fingertips on the hood.
I shook my head, thinking about Scotty.
Him and his studded leather belts. His stupid wallet chain. He’d sit on the hood of my car - or his truck - and not care about scratching the paint. His truck wasn’t all that spectacular but I took pride in my vehicles.
I rubbed the hood like it was a genie lamp. Part of my heart would have given anything to feel the ridges where Scotty had scratched the hood. But any marks were long gone.
Just like his studded belt. And wallet chain.
And Scotty himself.
The wallet chain went first though.
One night while me, him, and Julia were hanging out, he was running his mouth. So I grabbed the chain, pulled it, popped his wallet out of his back pocket, took his cash, and then took Julia out for some fun.
He got pissed at me for that one.
But he never wore the wallet chain again.
At least not until his funeral.
He wore his studded belt. And I bought a new wallet chain for him and wrapped it up over a new leather wallet that had the exact amount of money I took from him that night, along with a couple pictures of me and him, and a note letting him know that he was the best fucking friend I ever had.
All of that was buried.
I made a fist and hit the hood of my car and then walked to the shop.
I poured myself a cup of coffee from the office.
That stuff claimed to be coffee but was more like mud mixed with motor oil.
It always did the trick though.
There was nobody else working.
I opened the office door again and whistled for Pop.
“Are we closed?” I asked.
Pop looked at me and his eyes were bloodshot and looked ready to burst.
“Yeah,” he said.
“For what?”
“Sadness,” he said. “You want to go to work? Go for it. I don’t give a fuck.”
I felt like someone pun
ched me in the stomach.
It was the day after Azel’s funeral.
My stomach felt sick and I shut the office door.
It had slipped my mind for the moment.
Shit.
I wandered out of the garage and saw Wes coming into the parking lot. Walking. Smoking a cigarette. Looking ready to fight the world for everything wrong in his life.
I met him halfway way across the lot and just hugged him.
He grabbed the back of my shirt like he was falling off a cliff.
I took a deep breath.
“Glad you’re here, kid,” I said to him.
“Glad you’re here too, Jett,” Wes said.
“You do what you needed to do last night?”
“Yeah,” Wes said. “You?”
“Yeah,” I said.
I broke the hug and slapped his face. “Now we have to find a way to go forward, kid. That doesn’t mean forgetting anything.”
Wes nodded. “I was thinking of someone else last night. The entire time.”
“Oh yeah?”
“You remember Aira?”
I nodded. “Of course I do.”
“I was thinking about her for some reason.”
“Makes sense, kid,” I said. “You liked her. You went back to what felt good before all of this.”
“What about you?” Wes asked.
I shook my head.
“Come on, Jett,” he said.
He punched my right shoulder for fun and I stepped back, my lip curling.
“Did that hurt?” Wes asked.
“No,” I said. “Got some ink last night.”
I showed Wes the spade tattoo.
He studied it. “That’s kind of stupid.”
“It was a matching tattoo, you little dipshit,” I said. “You should have seen the woman who got hers and where she got it.”
Wes grinned. “Holy shit, Jett. Really?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I take it all back. You are still my hero. Hope you got her name. Any girl that crazy to get a tattoo with you is one you should have hung out with for more than one night.”
I nodded.
The fucking kid was right.
I hated when Wes was right.
And I would give Julia more than one night.
I’d give her the rest of my life if she wanted it.
HIDDEN CREEK NOW: a hidden creek high novel Page 20