Wicked as Lies

by Shayla Black

  In the backyard, he found her gas grill on the small patio, along with a bunch of evergreens bisected by a stone path through the grass, leading to a tiled deck where a pair of brightly colored rockers sat around a fire table under a weeping willow. A hammock lazed in another corner between two trees. Everywhere he looked, he saw her touches in the decorative pillows and the springy wreath on the door.

  He lit the grill, then meandered back into the house to figure out the rice cooker. He looked up the device’s instructions online and had the rice steaming in a handful of minutes.

  After that, he searched the internet for instructions on how to steam broccoli. He felt like an idiot for having to look up something so basic, but soon, he’d cleaned and bagged the stalks before shoving them into the microwave so they would be ready to nuke when the rest of the dishes were nearly finished.

  As he had last night, he’d set the table to save her the effort, then his phone rang. He plucked it from his pocket and read the display with a smile. “Hey, man.”

  “Hey,” Trees greeted. “How you feeling today?”

  “Fine. Like I felt yesterday. Like I could be on assignment right now.”

  “According to the colonel, you are. Did Tessa’s ex-douche come back?”

  “Not yet.” But Zy’s gut told him this guy wasn’t giving up.

  If you had a sweet, smart, gorgeous woman like Tessa who had given you pleasure and a child, would you?

  Not in a million fucking years.

  “So…how you doing there with Tessa?”

  “Fine.”

  “And?”

  “And…I’m trying not to be a pain in her ass. She’s got her hands full between the baby and her ex. I don’t want her feeling like she has to wait on me.”

  “Makes sense.” He paused. “She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

  “Yeah. But I can’t go there, man.”

  “Why not? You going to try to lie and tell me you don’t want to?” His buddy scoffed.

  “You think you’re reading my mind now?”

  “I know I am. I’ve known you too long. I know your type. And I know what kind of woman will make you happy. She’s it.”

  He couldn’t pretend Trees was wrong. “Dude, what are you saying?”

  “Just that you two would be good for each other.”

  “Well, even if I want her, I can’t have her.”

  “You think she’s still got a thing for her ex?”

  “No.” Besides, if he wanted Tessa enough to fight for her, her ex wouldn’t stop him. “But in case you never noticed, the colonel has a nonfraternization clause in his contracts. We could both lose our jobs.”

  “I’d forgotten about that.”

  “I wish I could.”

  “Sorry, man.”

  “Fuck it. I’m sorry. Tessa’s sofa is half a foot too small for me.” And he’d spent half of last night hard for her, wondering what it would be like to curl up next to her soft body and fuck her in the middle of the night. “So I’m cranky.”

  “That sounds horrible, but still cozier than my next couple of nights. Josiah, Walker, and I are pulling out with the colonel to do a quick op tomorrow.”

  And Zy felt like a deadbeat for not joining in, at least to watch their sixes. “Where? To do what?”

  “Not sure yet. Colonel hasn’t filled us in. He says it’s pretty standard. But his new wife seems pissed.”

  Too much pushback from the missus, and Edgington really might ditch his business to keep the peace. “Shit.”

  “Anyway, I’ll let you know when we’re back.”

  “Yeah. I’ll want to hear everything, especially if it has anything to do with the debacle in Mexico.”

  “You got it. Later, Zy.”

  “Later. Stay safe, huh?”

  “Always.”

  Trees ended the call. Behind Zy, the bedroom door opened, and he turned to find Tessa emerging, Hallie half-asleep in her arms.

  She glanced at the rice cooker on the island and frowned. “You started dinner?”

  “Yeah. No reason to wait.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  She said that a lot. “No sweat. You’re busy, you’re tired, and you don’t need to wait on me. I’m eating, too. So I took a stab at meal prep. The grill is heating up. Rice is on. Broccoli is ready to nuke.”

  “And you set the table.” She looked ready to cry.

  Zy edged closer. “I was trying to be helpful, but—”

  “You are.” She sniffled.

  What the hell was wrong with her? “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you. Have a seat on the couch. Play with Hallie. I’m going to throw the chicken on the grill. We’ll probably be ready to eat in ten.”

  “Thank you.” Tessa opened her mouth as if she had a million more things to say, but her gorgeous green eyes communicated everything her words didn’t. “Really.”

  He got it now. No one had taken care of her in a long while, and it fucking irritated him, even as he hurt for her. Zy cleared his throat and turned away. If he didn’t, he’d probably do something stupid like put his arms around her and press his lips to hers. He’d ask her forgiveness later.

  Soon, they sat at the table while Hallie cooed happily in her baby swing. The silence between them bugged the shit out of Zy.

  “Chicken okay?”

  “It’s perfect. It’s so juicy. You’ll have to show me your secret. I’ve been guilty of slow grilling things until they’re cardboard.”

  “You’ve got to sear it.” He took another bite. “You go back to work Monday?”

  Tessa nodded. “I have a daycare lined up. They encouraged me to bring Hallie there a couple of days this week for a few hours so she can get used to the environment gradually, but I can’t imagine just handing her over to a stranger.”

  “I’m sure, but she’ll be fine. These people are trained to take good care of the kids.”

  “Yeah…but she’s just a baby.” And the thought of leaving Hallie had Tessa looking ready to cry.

  Fuck, that expression hurt him. “You’d rather stay home with her.”

  “I wish I could, but…” She pasted on a brave smile. “I’m not the first working mom to face this choice. And it will feel good to be back in the office.”

  After that, she went quiet again, and he wished he could think of some way to make her smile.

  Once they’d finished dinner and before the sun fell, he suggested a walk around the block. He wasn’t used to sitting around this much, and he was half convinced the fresh air would do Tessa good. And since Hallie seemed ready to nod off again, the cool wind in her face might keep the baby awake a while longer.

  So they left the dishes and fetched the stroller, taking a few laps around the neighborhood until dusk crept in and Tessa shivered with the encroaching wind.

  Inside, she gave Hallie a bath, then hopped in the shower herself. As Zy had last night, he did the dishes. When Tessa and the baby emerged, clean and ready for bed, the three of them passed a few hours with mindless sitcoms and an occasional game of peekaboo with Hallie.

  Zy was used to quiet, solo evenings at home. He didn’t like bars unless he was playing a competitive game of pool. But this sort of night in was different. It wasn’t his usual empty silence broken only by a canned laugh track. It wasn’t still except for his own footfalls over his floorboards as he paced. And thank fuck it wasn’t his crappy motel with its cheap, cookie-cutter furniture. Despite the baby things strewn around the living room, from blankets to burp cloths, this felt real. It felt like a home.

  He’d never really had that.

  By nine thirty, Tessa looked ready to nod off in her recliner, so she stood, cradling Hallie. “Guess we’re heading to bed. She’s been awake for a few hours. Thanks for your help. Hopefully, she’ll sleep tonight.”

  “I hope you both will.” They needed it. “But if you need anything, let me know.”

  “Thanks. I’m just happy Cash hasn’t seen fit to show his face again.”

&
nbsp; Zy was almost disappointed. He had a few words to he’d love to say to the asshole. “Night.”

  She entered her room and slowly eased the door closed between them. “Night.”

  Her whisper hung in the air as the soft snick told him she’d shut herself in. As soon as she was gone, the sound of the TV beat at his brain, so he shut the noise box off and killed the lights. Then he settled onto the sofa with a blanket, his pillow, and a sigh.

  What was Tessa doing now? Had she tucked Hallie in, then stripped down before climbing into her lone bed? Was she wishing he was beside her? What would she do if he was? If he reached out to touch her? If he kissed her? If he took off every stitch she wore and slid her body beneath his?

  Funny how he’d arrived at her place a mere two days ago, wondering how long he’d have to stay before he could start looking for a place of his own. Now he was reluctant to leave. But if he didn’t, he knew what would happen. He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off Tessa, especially since he was almost sure she wanted him, too. Hour by hour, the unspoken awareness between them grew. They were a ticking time bomb of suppressed desire. If he stayed, how long before they exploded?

  In the dark, he stared out the living room window, seeing nothing. Hearing nothing but his own rough breaths and accelerated heartbeats, which could only be because he knew Tessa was just one closed door away.

  He closed his eyes and forced himself to focus on sleep—until the sounds of a baby fussing jolted him awake.

  With a groan, Zy swiped his phone off the nearby table and looked at the time. Quarter till two in the morning.

  Eyes closed, he lay on the sofa, listening to Hallie’s whines gather steam until she began to wail. Moments later, quiet fell again, punctuated by baby moans. Hallie must be eating. At least he thought so until she started crying again. This time her squalls were sharper, alternating between anger and distress.

  He scowled as twenty minutes turned into thirty, then forty. He listened, his concern growing as the baby began howling in earnest at the hour mark.

  Something was wrong.

  Zy hesitated—something totally unlike him. Stay and let her keep her privacy or go in and help?

  He still hadn’t decided until he heard another sound between Hallie’s bellows. Tessa was sobbing.

  And that decided everything for him.

  Shoving off his blanket, he jackknifed to his feet and headed for her bedroom door. Grip on the knob, he paused, but there it was again, the sound of Tessa’s tears as she quietly fell apart.

  He didn’t wait and he didn’t knock. He just shouldered his way into the room—then stopped short when he saw her.

  Sitting in the glider in the corner, Tessa gasped and blinked up as he barged in. Tears fell from her tired eyes as she held a railing Hallie against her chest. Tessa crying was like a kick in the chest.

  “What can I do to help?”

  “N-nothing. I’m fine.”

  The catch in her voice said she was lying. “Bullshit. What’s happening?”

  “Hallie is just fussy and overtired. She roots around for me like she’s hungry, but she just ate. I can’t seem to calm her down, and I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m screwing everything up.” Tessa wiped away her tears. “But I’ll figure it out. Sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

  Was she kidding?

  “Did you change her?”

  “Just a few minutes ago.”

  “And she’s not sick?”

  “No.”

  If the baby was full, dry, and healthy, then Tessa had done what she could. Zy couldn’t stand to see her suffer anymore, and she damn straight didn’t need to carry the burden alone.

  He crossed the room to her. Even in the moonlight, he saw her stare—clinging, confused, and worried.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Give her to me, Tess, and go to sleep. I got this.”

  “You? What do you know about babies?” She clutched Hallie tighter, which prompted a higher-pitched wail from the baby.

  “Admittedly not a lot, but maybe she can sense your exhaustion and upset. Maybe I can calm her. It’s worth a try.” When Tessa bit her lip in indecision, he set out to soothe her protective mother instinct. “I’ll stay in this room, in that chair right next to you. You get back in the bed and rest.”

  “But—”

  “No buts. You and Hallie are both wrung out. I’m awake, and I can’t do any worse.”

  This time when he reached for Hallie, Tessa released her squirming little form into his arms. The baby gave a startled fuss, then fell silent when she caught sight of him, big eyes going wide. Another whimper came, followed by a wail. But he ignored that and pressed her against his bare chest, his hand enveloping her back, her face near the warmth of his neck.

  Seconds later, she fell silent.

  Tessa scrambled from the chair, gaping. “Oh, my gosh…”

  “Go to sleep,” he commanded softly as the baby sighed and slipped right into slumber.

  “How did you do that?” Tessa asked.

  “We’ll figure it out later. Get in the bed.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll take her back. You need sleep, too, and—”

  “I can sleep with her on my chest.” Zy eased onto the glider Tessa had just vacated, sinking into its cushy warmth as he drew Hallie’s baby blanket over her tiny form and across his torso. “We’ll be fine.”

  “But she’s my responsibility, and you don’t—”

  “Lie. Down. And go. To sleep. If I can’t handle something, I’ll wake you. But you won’t be any good for Hallie tomorrow if you’re falling down.”

  Tessa paused, her superwoman facade slipping as she sighed. Suddenly, he saw fatigue in every line of her body. Tears filled her soft eyes, saying far more than her next words. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He patted Hallie’s tiny back, pausing to feel its rise and fall as Tessa crawled into her queen-size bed, barely taking her gaze off him. Then she dragged the blanket over her body, settled her head on the pillow, and let out a ragged breath. Ten seconds later, she was asleep.

  Against him, Hallie was a small but unmoving weight. Her even exhalations warmed his neck. Her little palm fanned out across his shoulder and made Zy’s chest feel weak.

  He didn’t get Cash. How could any man have treated Tessa and Hallie like trash at a landfill, just dumping them and walking away? But this was as much as he could step into Cash’s shoes. He could help. He could protect. But he fucking couldn’t give in to the softness around his heart or the fever in his blood.

  He could never make Tessa his.

  Tessa rolled to her side, warm, heavy, and sublimely content.

  Just five more minutes. She sighed as she drew her covers under her chin, rolling to one side because the other had gone half numb from lying in one spot. Sunlight wasn’t yet penetrating her eyelids or the darkness shrouding the room, so it must be early. How much longer could she sleep before the baby woke and—

  Hallie!

  Tessa scrambled to sit up as her eyes flew open. Gray hints of morning were seeping around the edges of her blinds, illuminating Zy, who dozed in the glider beside the bed with her daughter still sleeping on his wide chest. His hand splayed protectively over her back while her little head peeked out from under a soft pink baby blanket. Their breathing looked deep and even, despite the awkward angle of Zy’s neck as he hunched in the chair. His big, bare feet had gone uncovered all night, and the morning was chilly. He had to be freezing.

  Unfortunately, when he woke, he would probably be stiff and sore.

  Despite his uncomfortable position, he’d kept Hallie asleep for—she glanced at her clock—five solid hours.

  Tessa gaped. She hadn’t had the luxury of that much uninterrupted sleep in six weeks. But thanks to Zy and his magic touch with Hallie, she almost felt like a new woman.

  Easing out of bed, Tessa tiptoed to her bathroom and shut the door, taking care of morning necessities as quietly as p
ossible. With an empty bladder, clean teeth, and covered feet, she crossed the room to Zy, trying not to think about how mushy her chest felt when she stopped to stare at the big, bad warrior cradling her infant daughter.

  She curled her hands around Hallie to lift her sleeping form. Zy’s arms tightened around the baby and his thick black lashes lifted. Their gazes collided with a zing—or maybe that was just her reaction. But she was too aware of how close her lips hovered near his, of how intimate it felt to have him in her bedroom.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She swallowed. “Nothing. I’m just going to feed Hallie. Climb in my bed and get some real sleep.”

  “We’re fine here.”

  “She’s probably wet, and you won’t be able to move much today if you don’t stretch out soon.”

  “Did you sleep?”

  “Yeah. It was amazing.” She resisted an urge to touch him. “Thank you. I’ve got it from here. When Hallie wakes, she’ll be screaming for breakfast. And I’d feel better if you slept while you’re comfortable.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Positive.” She lifted the baby onto her shoulder. “You’ve gone above and beyond. I got it now.”

  “M’kay.” He lurched up with a groan, grimacing as he moved his neck, then slid into her bed.

  When his head hit the pillow, he sighed with relief and fell asleep again. Tessa smiled as she covered him, then let herself out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

  Hallie started to stir, jerking her head up and trying to open her little eyes.

  “Morning, sweet pea.”

  The sound of her voice soothed Hallie, and she laid her head back down as if she wasn’t quite ready to get up, either. But a hand under her daughter’s butt told Tessa her diaper was soaked. And by the time she changed it in Hallie’s room, the baby was alert. It didn’t take long before her daughter started howling for breakfast.

  Instantly, her full breasts gushed, and she looked around for a place to feed Hallie. The glider was in her room with Zy, and she wouldn’t risk waking him up. She hadn’t had the budget to buy a second glider for this room, so there was no place to sit. She figured that, as Hallie moved out of her bassinet and into her crib, she’d move the glider in here.