Salvation At Sunset (A McGinty's Of San Antonio Series Novel Book 5)

by Donalyn Maurer

  “When it calmed, Cody was giving McGowan CPR. The sight of it had me paralyzed. I tried to move but I couldn’t. My legs, I couldn’t walk. I dropped and crawled over to them and when I met Cody's eyes, I knew then. I’d lost both of them. Cody finally hung his head and gave up. He picked McGowan up, cradled him like a baby, fucking crying his eyes out as he carried him to our vehicle. Anyone who tried to help, he growled at them to back the fuck off. A couple of guys helped me inside the vehicle too. I sat across from Cody and listened to him talking to McGowan. He had his face buried in McGowan’s neck and he kept asking him why.

  I made it home that day. Cody made it. Turns out that the two wounded soldiers made it. But McGowan...he died instantly. It was my fault. They’re dead because of me. I should have died that day. Not them. It was all my fault.” he groans.

  “How?” A whisper through a sob retches from my body.

  “What?” Garrett frowns, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

  “How is it your fault, Garrett? Please tell me what you could have done differently. And you’re not dead. You’re are very much alive and here with me.”

  I know what this is really about. It’s not that he could have done more. He knows he did all he could. He thinks it should have been him, not them. He thinks they should have lived and he should have died. My thoughts are confirmed when he answers me.

  “Bella, they had everything to live for,” he confesses. “I joined to get away from hate. I wasn’t even really patriotic. I love my country but joining was just a way to escape the hell I was living in. They joined for their family. I joined to run from mine. It should have been me that day. I should have died.”

  I'm breaking through his walls. He’s never talked to anyone. His demons have made the mistake of showing themselves. I know I have to send them all back to Hell. All I can do in this moment is stare at him, shaking my head dejecting his words while tears pour down my face.

  “Bella, fuck. I shouldn’t have told you all that! Baby, I’m sorry. See how messed up I am? I just laid my nightmares on you. I need to go.” Garrett tries to stand, but I move closer and cup his cheek. “No. I’m not crying over what you said, not in the way you think. I’m crying because you don’t think you’re worthy of love or a life. That’s what's haunting me. I don’t understand. What about me?” I beg him to explain and his body stills.

  “Baby,” he mutters.

  “Me? What about me? I love you. I need you.”

  “You don’t need me. I’m so fucked up; I’m the last thing you need.”

  I crawl up and sit on his lap and pull his face to mine. Looking into his eyes, I try to show him my love, and that it’s still there despite his fears of me changing my mind after he told me what happened. His eyes, they’re so beautiful. He’s so beautiful. He’s mine and I’m his.

  “Garrett, stop. Please. You have someone and you always did. You just hadn’t met me yet. All this time, you had me. I was just waiting for God to bring you to me. I’ve always loved you and I didn’t even know. Our love, your love, it was here.” I gesture to my heart. “Secure and safe for you. I never gave it away to anyone because it was always yours. I’ve just been waiting for you. You are loveable. Now you’re here and I’m not letting go and I will love you. That you can’t stop.” I believe all of what I just said. I knew within seconds Garrett was the one.

  “Bella, I don’t…”

  “Honey, listen to me instead of the demons in your head. You did everything you could that day. I know it. I know it even though I wasn’t there. I know it to the very depths of my soul because you loved them and would have done nothing less than everything for them. Even giving your own life. You did all you could, honey. You need to let go of this guilt.” I watch his face begin to change as he listens to my words. “If Cody and Michael loved you even a fourth of how much you loved them, they wouldn’t want this. I’m so sorry for your loss, Garrett. So sorry. I can’t even begin to understand what you went through, the things you saw. Walking around in a nightmare is what it was and still is. You’re awake but you’re still in that nightmare.” I straddle him. “We’re going to get you help. We’re going to get through this. I’m going to stand by your side. I don’t know what hell you left, but all you did walk straight into another. I’m going to fight all those demons trying to hold you in the fire. I don’t care how badly I get burned. I will not rest until I pull you out. I will fight the devil himself and I will win. Do you understand?”

  Garrett looks at me in awe. He cradles my face and leans in, gently kissing me. When he backs away, I tug off his cap and brush his hair back before cupping his cheek. He leans into my touch before turning and kissing my palm.

  “You really believe that?”

  “Honey, I do. My heart released a burst of love when I looked into your eyes at Holloway’s. It was so strong it almost knocked me over. I know you felt it too.” I give him a tiny smile. “Another burst happened when you took my hand and we walked along the river walk. Each time you touched me or smiled at me another burst. But when I sat and watched the sunset with you at the lake and you shared what you did, and we made love, all that love I’d been holding safe in my heart for you finally burst free. Now my heart is consumed with love for you. Garrett, I love you so much it hurts. You are lovable and whoever told you weren’t lied to you. Please believe me.” I plead.

  Garrett searches my eyes for a few moments before slowly closing his. “I’m tired, baby. So tired.” he whispers in my ear.

  His body starts to go weak. He is tired and not just emotionally, but physically. Sharing and not really sleeping is taking its toll on him.

  “I know you are. Come on.” I kiss him below his ear and then we stand.

  From the corner of my eye, I see Victoria and my mom come into view from the threshold of the kitchen. Both their eyes showing evidence of shedding tears. Victoria signals they're going out the back door. I nod in understanding as I hold Garrett tight for a few moments.

  “Is the door fixed?”

  “Yeah. Oh, shit...” Garrett looks around.

  “My mom and sister, they left.” I stand and close and lock the front door.

  “Bella, I’m sorry.”

  “Please stop saying that, okay? Let’s take a nap and then we’ll go get something to eat.” I take his hand in mine.

  I lead him upstairs and into the bedroom and pull off his shirt, boots and jeans and have him lie down. I quickly rid myself of my jeans and tank and crawl in next to him. He draws the covers over us and we lay on our sides, facing each other. I scoot as close as possible to him, tuck my head under his chin and wrap my arm and leg around him. He gives my forehead a kiss and rests his head against mine. As I lay there, I finally feel Garrett’s body go lax and his breathing deepen. As he sleeps peacefully I lay wide awake wondering who damaged him before he joined the military. I vow to find out who hurt him. When I find them, as I’m pulling Garrett from Hell I’m going to send them into the flames.

  When Garrett and I wake from our nap, we dress and leave the house. I know we need a little relaxing so I tell him to head to downtown. We park near the market square and make our way to Mi Tierra Cafe. We order lunch and before leaving, choose a few pastries from the bakery and take them to go. We make our way through the little shops and I buy a few knick knacks for home.

  Before I can take back the words I blurt out, “Did you want to buy anything for…” When Garrett’s eyes meet mine I regret asking. “I’m sorry, honey.” I freeze. “I didn’t mean to drudge anything else up for you.”

  “It’s okay.” He takes my hand and pulls me back to the truck. “We need to talk. I need you to know the truth about where and who I came from. Bella, this may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. It’s time I told you about my parents and their parents.”

  Garrett and I get back on the road and he keeps driving until we’re just outside the city. Businesses are turning into farmland. It's obvious he’s not sure where to go. His hands clenc
h the steering wheel, getting frustrated. He takes the next exit and pulls off onto a side gravel road that looks deserted. When he faces me, his expression guarded by an underlying sadness.

  “You ever heard of Divor?” He’s feeling me out.

  I have heard of Divor. Every Texan has and just like our family, everyone prepares before hitting its city limits. I remember my dad forbidding me to go with some of my friends that were going to New Orleans for a weekend. It wasn’t because of New Orleans. It was because we’d have to drive through Divor to get there. The night before the trip, my dad came in my room and told me he’d let me go on one condition. He wanted me to fully understand the seriousness of following his directions. He told me Divor is known as one of the most racist towns in Texas. It was a haven for the Ku Klux Klan. It's known as one of a few sundown towns that still exist. If you were anything other than white, you did not want to be caught in one of these towns after sundown. My dad told me they were the biggest bunch of cowards hiding behind their hoods of hate but were extremely dangerous. He offered an alternate route that would add an hour to the trip, but was safer. When I shared with my friends what my dad told me a couple of them said their parents pulled them aside too. We ended up taking the alternate route and stayed clear of Divor. Coming back to the present, I give a hesitant nod.

  “By your expression, I’m guessing you know its history.” He taps the steering wheel, looks back out the front window and sighs. “I’m not going to lie and say what you heard isn’t true. It’s all true. My family is one of the few top hate mongers in that town. I watched them growing up. For as long as I can remember, I knew they were evil,” he admits never meeting my eyes. “When I was just a kid I remember my grandpa donning a white hood and robe. A small population of the town is fighting for the end of segregation. I believe most of the town wants it to end it even if they don’t say it out loud. My family and others in that town tormented those families until they gave up and left.” Garrett finally looks at me.

  “Bella, they did far worse. They even took me with him in the middle of the night when they would set up crosses to burn in those people’s yards.” Garrett looks down and shakes his head. “Burned crosses in their yards, Bella,” he confides in shame. “Fire departments would take their sweet time getting there too. Most times those folks just grabbed their water hose and put it out, didn’t even bother calling them. Other times they got bricks through their windows. Or their tires slashed. If they had a tree in their yard, a noose would be left hanging. No one called the police. The Klan is the police. Beaumont is not that far, maybe ten minutes away. People would pack up and leave. Moving a couple of miles away ended their torment. Those of us that stayed could only watch and wish we could go with them. Didn’t matter how old I was. I knew it was wrong. I only made the mistake of going against them once. After that, I bought my time, kept my mouth shut and I got out as soon as I could. Only time I saw help come in was when I was twelve years old and a swarm of child protective service agents came in. They went to the schools questioned the students."

  “What did you tell them?”

  “I didn’t tell them anything.”

  “Why?”

  “I missed school that week. Then I left at eighteen. That’s why I joined the military, but I had to leave Raleigh behind. Raleigh is my younger sister. She’s nine years younger and my mom treated her like crap. Never hit her. Just looked at her like she had ruined the world for her. I hated to leave her. It ripped out my heart to walk away but we had to wait till she turned of age before I could get her out of there without the worry of legal backlash. The Klan has connections everywhere. Lawyers, police, congressman, senators, people you would never think are racist. At one point, I was going to take her and run. But I knew deep inside that if I got her out and then had to send her back...I don’t know what they would do to her. Everyone in that town is connected by their love of hate. We had no one to turn to for help. Didn’t know anyone outside of there either. No one we could trust anyway. For months I wracked my brain trying to come up with a plan and couldn’t. She was too young plus she was never physically abused. I didn’t have a legal leg to stand on. My only hope was that I saw my dad treated her different from me. Almost seemed to shield her from what was going on. Seemed like maybe when it came to her, his conscience came into play. My mom and grandpa, not so much. I told her to just do whatever they said until I came back. I don’t even know if she understood all the hate in the town at her age. What she did understand was that our mom didn’t like her. She told me sometimes when it was just her and my mom, she’d get scared. Felt like mom wanted to hurt her. That was it for me. I knew my mom would, given the opportunity and I had to get her out.” He rubs his hands down his face. “I told her I would set something up and then come back for her. She was almost eleven years old when I left. I've only seen her once since."

  God, she was just a little girl. It had to have killed him to leave her behind. I know how much it hurts me not to see Victoria for a couple of days, so I can’t imagine not hearing from or seeing my sibling for over a decade.

  “Things didn’t go as planned at all. I was going to stay as close as possible to her to make sure she was safe. The war didn’t let me do that. I got out just about the time she turned nineteen. After what happened with Michael and Cody, and it messing me up, I just left her there. It’s been over two years. Abandoned her. She was my responsibility. I was supposed to be her hero. I wanted to be her hero. I wanted to go off in war, fight the bad guys there and then come here and fight them here. I don’t know what the fuck happened to me. I got lost.”

  “Garrett, you’re not lost anymore. Let’s go back. Let’s go get her right now.” I point to the road as I situate myself in my seat ready for the trip to see the hell Garrett left.

  “Bella, I called an old friend who has a sister her age. Asked if he could get some information on Raleigh. Her phone number mainly. His sister had it and they gave it to me. At the time he sounded hesitant. I remember he wished me luck; I didn’t understand it at the time. I called and called. Every time it went straight to voicemail. I’ve left messages asking her to call me. She doesn’t call back. I text, nothing. I drove up there not long ago and saw her and mom walking along Main Street together. My mom hated Raleigh so I didn’t understand what I was seeing. They never went anywhere together. Mom always left her behind. I stopped by a local diner trying to gather my thoughts when one of my old high school buddies, a good one, recognized me. He sat down and had lunch with me. He told me things changed with my parents and Raleigh. He told me everything. I rushed from the diner and threw up my lunch. I waited too long,” he confesses full of guilt.

  My heart hurts for him and the pain he's feeling. Jesus, I can’t even imagine growing up in a home so consumed with hate. “What did he tell you, honey?”

  “The town, it’s still bad, maybe even worse. Fear of the Klan is still a worry. The town people still walk the line. But they want to change; it’s my grandfather, my mom and dad, a few others and now my sister who are stopping it with their propaganda of hate. My sister is engaged to this asshole named Bodean. He’s three years older than me which is too fucking old for her. He and I played sports together in school and he was bad even back then. He was the worst of all the students, calling the players from other schools that were black or Hispanic racist slang names under his breath where the refs couldn’t hear. I just don’t understand what happened. I guess I didn’t come back to her soon enough. It’s all my fault.”

  I take all this in and look out the window trying to make sense of it too. How can I fix this? I promised him I’d pull him from his Hell and I’m keeping my word. Then I have an idea.

  “Garrett, listen, I think you should try reaching out to her again.” I encourage.

  “She’s not taking my calls, baby. I don’t know what else I can do. I can’t just walk in there and take her, especially if she doesn’t want to come.”

  I pull out my phone. “If she’s anyth
ing like you, honey, she didn’t change. What if someone blocked your calls? What’s her phone number?” I ready my phone to dial.

  “What do you mean? No one knows my number.”

  “I don’t know. Just doesn’t sound right. Trust me, honey; she may be biding her time too. Waiting for you to come back. Maybe she’s not. Let’s just try one more time. Let me try to talk to her.”

  He sits silently thinking, but then I see a flash off hope cross his face. He calls out her number and I dial, praying to God I’m right.

  “Let me talk first,” I whisper and he nods.

  I place it on speaker and after two rings, a sweet voice answers.

  “Hello?”

  “Raleigh?” I ask softly.

  “Yes. Who’s this?”

  “I’m Bella, a friend of your brother. He’s been trying to reach you, Raleigh.” I inform her cautiously.

  “Oh God, oh God. Hang on. Please, please, please don’t hang up,” she begs.

  “I won’t,” I promise and my eyes go to Garrett’s.

  Garrett and I keep each other’s eyes as we wait. We hear rustling and finally she comes back on the phone.

  “Sorry, I had to duck away so no one could hear me. Garrett? Oh, my God, how is he? Please tell me he’s okay. Please, please, please, don’t tell me something has happened to him.” she begs me, her voice cracking.

  “I’m right here, Raleigh,” Garrett says, his voice cracking too.

  “Garrett,” she cries. “Is it really you? Oh, my God. Garrett…” She breaks downs crying.

  “Raleigh, honey, stop crying.” Garrett soothes her.

  “Where are you?” she asks. She’s desperately trying to keep her emotions in check but losing the battle.

  “San Antonio,” he whispers.

  “You made it back like he said. I’ve been so worried. Daddy kept me updated. Told me you were okay but…” she says through her tears.