Finding Reason (Breaking Free Series Book 3)

by Becca Taylor

  "Hunter—"

  Before she can try to sway my decision, I interrupt her. She would show me sweet and tender Gabby. The one she keeps behind closed doors. But days later, the true version of her will come back.

  "Let me talk."

  She nods her head for me to continue.

  "I did a lot of thinking. Gabby, you and me ... it's not going to work."

  This time, she interjects. "No. It will work. I've changed."

  "Like you did the last time? We keep doing this. You say the same thing each time, and it never changes. I'm on a virtual merry-go-round. This is not working."

  "Why? How can I fix it?" she says softly.

  Fuck. "There's no fixing it. This is beyond repair."

  A sob breaks from her, and I keep my distance.

  "There has to be something I can do to change your mind."

  There's nothing.

  "It's her, isn't it? That Lexi girl. She's been in the way from the day you and that group of girls met." She looks at me as she wipes the tear roughly from her cheek.

  My fists tighten, but I don't say a word.

  "Fine, Hunter. Just remember, when it doesn’t work out like you think it will, I may not be around this time." She storms out of the front door.

  It's done.

  It's been a week since I have played, so I head to my studio. Normally, I hit my home gym first as my warm-up, but this time, I go right to it. Music floods my ears. Puddle of Mudd’s “She Hates Me” seems fitting for what just went down and the days that are about to follow. A small smile cracks on my lips as the song ends. It’s the first smile I’ve worn in what feels like forever.

  ALL MY EQUIPMENT is loaded in the trunk. A wave of heat hits me when I open the car door. As soon as I start the car, I put the air on full blast and pull out of my client’s driveway. I just finished my last massage session for the day. I’m thanking the weekend gods that it’s Friday. People think it’s some glamorous job, getting to touch hot guys. At least, that’s what they think I do. The reality of it is the opposite; right now, my fingers and hands are numb from rubbing those muscles all day.

  My phone starts buzzing on the seat next to me. Aly’s picture appears, and I switch on the Bluetooth button before I answer her. “Hey, stranger. What’s going on?”

  “Do you have plans next weekend?”

  “Let me think. Nope. I’m all clear. Why?” My calendar is wide open. I’ve spent most of my time at the gym or working. My social life has gone from booked to non-existent.

  “Good. You are coming to keep us girls company while Slither plays. Meet us at Kat’s house. And dress in something hot. There will be many hot guys there. You’ve been in hibernation for too long.”

  She’s right. I’ve been in a funk lately, and I can’t seem to shake it. It’s not like me. Normally, I like to go out every weekend, but staying home and soaking in my tub has appealed to me more lately than getting dressed to go out. Hearing that we are going to see Hunter’s band play turns a switch in me.

  “I’m in. I’ll go through my closet tonight and find my sluttiest outfit just to make you happy.”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then.” She hangs up. The woman has been floating on cloud freakin’ nine since she and Bentley have been together. Hot sex with a hot guy will do that to a woman.

  I experienced that feeling once. Since Aly’s birthday party, I haven’t had sex with a partner. I know no other man will come close to what Hunter did to me that night. It wasn’t just sex, but sex that was so explosive, just thinking about it has me getting wet. My battery-operated boyfriend, B.O.B., and I are about to break up because he’s just not cutting it.

  I don’t consider myself promiscuous, but I enjoy men. My friends think that I sleep around, but the truth is I don’t. Most of the men they think I hooked up with didn’t even happen. Those I do have sex with, I keep around for that purpose only. We become a mutual booty call.

  When I snuck away after my night with Hunter, it was because I freaked out. After all the orgasmic bliss had faded, my thoughts started, and when I think, it’s never good. At twenty-six years old, I’ve never had a relationship, and I plan to keep it that way. But that man has me wanting more, and that has never happened before. I knew if I stayed, I’d somehow fuck it up between us. I could sense that he wanted more than I could handle. I know nothing about being in a long-term relationship. From what I’ve heard, he’s always been attached to someone.

  Just when I thought I was ready to talk to him about what happened and why I took off, I heard he was back together with Gabby. Or Crabby, as I like to call her. She earned that nickname. Seeing Hunter with her at Kat’s house bothered me far more than it should have. After that night, I received the first phone call.

  I answer the unknown number thinking it might be a new client for work.

  “Hello, Alexia speaking.”

  “Listen up, bitch.”

  I interrupt before the voice continues. “Who is this?

  “This is Hunter’s cousin and Gabby is here too. Shut up and listen, slut, because that’s what you are: a fucking slut. How dare you sleep with some other girl’s man. We know all about you and your trysts. You’ve been hitting on Hunter for months. The only way you could get him was by getting him drunk at some party.”

  She was obviously intoxicated by the way her words were slurring. Calling me a slut or bitch I could take, hell, bring it on. The phone call was quite entertaining. I debated whether to listen or hang up. What she said next, though, was a stab in the heart.

  “He said you were nothing more than a wet hole while he wasn’t with Gabs. A lousy lay. He said he was glad you walked out because he wouldn’t have to fake it. What did he say? I think it was something like, ‘I had to sneak a little blue pill before we went back to my place just to get it up. Then after, I had to shower for hours just to get her stink off me.’”

  At that moment, Gabby chimed in. “Then he came crawling back to me, begging for my forgiveness. Didn’t he, Mel? Said it was the worst mistake he ever made. No woman could compare to what we had together. Now listen up, bitch, you keep away from MY MAN. If I hear you went to his work, called him, or even that you have been around anywhere he was, I will hunt you down. That face of yours won’t be pretty anymore. I have eyes everywhere.” Then they hung up.

  I’m not afraid of her. Far from it. But the morning-after comment stumped me. How she knew I walked out on him is beyond me. That made me think that maybe he did say something. I know most of what she said wasn’t true. When I heard from Aly that Hunter did, in fact, go back to Gabriella, I suffered my first heartache. It made me think that I was just a wet hole. If it is true for him, then it may be true for all the other men. That’s when I decided I needed a break, and I haven’t been with another man since. I feel like I’ve joined a convent or at least made a vow. Thou shalt not have sex again.

  Rather than face him about what Crabby said to me, I chose to stay away. What if he told me he realized what happened was a mistake? I could take hearing it from her but not from him. The only time I would go out with my friends was if I confirmed he wasn’t going. Not this time, though—it’s time for me to break my vow, leave the convent of sexually frustrated women, and throw that hideous black robe out the window of my convertible car.

  My original plans were to head to the gym to work off some of the sexual frustration that has been building for months, but the minute I start taking a mental inventory of my closet, I decide to skip it. Instead, I turn around to head straight for the mall. When I go out, I like to dress up and dress to kill. It’s time to trade in my sneakers, yoga pants, and nun panties for a pair of spectacular heels, something low-cut, and a thong. My panties aren’t really that bad, but black cotton bikini briefs just won’t do.

  When I pull into the mall parking lot, I call Jade. “Hey chick, want to meet me for a shopping fest?”

  She lives minutes away, so she says she’ll be here ASAP. When she gets here, we head directly to our fav
orite store first—a high-end intimates store. We think alike-- … dress underneath first then head to toe.

  It’s been a while since I updated my clothing, and I am in the mood to feel sexy again. With Hunter on my mind, I pick clothing I think he might like—black, lace, and tiny. My dress is sick—a bold choice and possibly a little risqué. I’m confident that I can pull it off. Since the dress is short, I go with an above-the-knee black stiletto boot.

  “I hate you,” Jade says as we sit to have a coffee.

  “What did I do now?” I know she is joking, but it’s a random comment.

  “I could never pull off that look. Every guy is going to want to get in your pants tomorrow. Like always.” She sighs heavily.

  “Jade, you know you are hot. You just need to dress the part. We shopped for hours, and you came out with jeans and a simple top. Besides, I don’t just want any man in my pants.”

  The girl is beautiful. With straight, jet black hair, she is model tall, and her eyes are the most spectacular. They match her name.

  “I bought skinny jeans. And most men are turned off if you tower over them in heels.”

  “You’re not that tall; you act like you’re an Amazonian woman. You are just taller than us shorties are. Tell you what; bring those jeans tomorrow. I have the perfect top for you but wear a strapless bra, and I will search Aly’s closet for shoes. You guys are the same size.” I have the perfect green top hanging in my closet that will play up her eyes. It’s not overly sexy, but it will show off a little more curve than Jade normally does. “Ooh, and wear your big hoop earrings and bangle bracelets. You are going to look amazing.”

  A day of shopping inspires me. Screw waiting to see the band play. Jade and I are hitting the town tomorrow night, and I’m calling in backup.

  THE CLUB IS hopping, or maybe this is just an average night here. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a club. Normally, my friends would surround me, but times are changing. Jade and I are the only singles left in our inner circle of friends. Tonight, we are meeting Tyler and his friends for some dancing and drinking.

  The crowd is wild tonight. Strobe lights and fog fill the room, adding to the sexed-up vibe of the club. Tyler and I met at a kickboxing class he was teaching. Kat had gone with me. We had a casual fling for a while, but that’s all it was.

  The two of us are dancing when I see Hunter. His arms are wrapped around some chick, dancing much like I am with Tyler. A thought floods my mind, and I want to rip the girl’s extensions out of her head. Her boobs are on display, and I wonder if anything on her is real.

  Dammit, Lexi, you are not this petty.

  Tyler reverses our positions to see where my eyes are glued. He talks in my ear. “You okay?”

  I nod that I’m fine and continue dancing to the music. For good measure, I add an extra sway in my hips. Tyler matches my movements easily. To anyone here, we look like we will be going home together, but that’s not the case. In fact, we get together when we aren’t looking for a hookup. He’s my go-to guy when I need a male friend to accompany me somewhere. Last night, he called me to see if I wanted to hang out with him and his friends, who are currently keeping Jade entertained.

  “He’s watching you,” Tyler informs me.

  To the beat of the song, I turn my body to see if what he is saying is true. It is.

  Hunter’s eyes lock on mine. “My Chick Bad” comes on, and I couldn’t have asked the DJ for a better beat. Let the fun begin. It almost becomes a competition to see who can dance sexier with their partner.

  Oh, Big Boy, you have no idea.

  Tyler understands without me having to say a word to him.

  He plays the part perfectly. Ty snakes his arm around my waist, placing his hand firmly on my stomach and pulling me close to his body. Hunter mirrors the movement with his girl. While I should be concentrating on dancing with the man behind me, I can’t help but notice the way Hunter’s body moves. His partner is so clueless that he’s not interested in her. I do the only thing I can, move the way I would be if he and I were dancing together.

  Ty tilts my head to the side and asks me, “How far we taking this, Lexi?”

  I wink, and he nuzzles my neck.

  Once again, he turns my body to his. I can’t see Hunter, but maybe that’s better. Even I think the way Ty controls my movements to match his is hot. He grabs my arm, raising it to his shoulder. His blond hair is down tonight, and I begin to run my fingers through it.

  “He doesn’t look happy. At all.” Ty spins us, allowing me to see the look on Hunter’s face.

  The girl is all over him. The only satisfaction I get is that he’s still watching me. When the song ends, I need a break. After telling Tyler I’m heading to the bathroom, I check on Jade, but she’s having a good time dancing. I make a detour to the bar. As I’m about to order, Hunter’s familiar voice draws my attention. “What are you having, Lex?”

  “I’ll have a slow, comfortable screw,” I tell the bartender. I’m definitely going there tonight. Hunter orders himself a beer and two shots and pushes one my way.

  “What’s this?” I ask him.

  “A kick in the balls.” He winks and taps his glass to mine. We knock back the drink, and I know where the name came from. It packs a punch.

  After grabbing our drinks, Hunter gestures for me to follow him. The high table in the corner is the least noisy part of the bar. Where you can have a conversation and not have to scream at the top of your lungs. It’s also the first time ever I don’t know what to say.

  Hunter takes the lead. “Interesting seeing you and Tyler here.”

  “We’re just having fun. You seem to be doing the same.” I want to add ‘with little Miss Plastic,’ but I don’t. It’s petty and judgy, and I’m not that girl. I’m nice. Friends with the whole fucking world.

  “No harm in going out. We all need to let off steam. Same as you are doing.”

  “Does Gabby know you needed to let off some steam?” Immediately after saying it, I want to kick myself.

  He takes a long pull of his beer before answering. “It’s none of her business.”

  Interesting. I finish my drink in one gulp. “Care to dance?”

  Miss Plastic spots us and comes to the table. “There you are. You want to head out? This place is lame.”

  The girl can’t be a day over twenty-one. I want to dismiss her like an annoying fly, but Hunter can make his own choices.

  “Hi, I’m Candice.” She turns to me. Dammit, she’s being nice. Don’t be nice.

  “Alexia.”

  Hunter interrupts before I can say anything other than my name. "I’ll see you around. I’m going to get Candi home safe.”

  I try to play it off like it’s no big deal. It’s not; he’s a big boy and can do what he wants. “Yeah, I’d better get back to Ty. You two have fun.”

  When they leave, I head right for the bar to have another shot. I search the crowd, spotting Jade’s blue dress. She’s still dancing with Ty’s friends at a safe distance. It’s time to head back to everyone and not think about Hunter and that girl he’s taking home safely. There are not enough drinks in the club to help with that image.

  I MET CANDI at Butter My Bread when she wanted to compliment the chef. It made me laugh. No one’s ever called me a chef before, and I’m far from being considered one. She looked cute in her sundress. The second time she came in, I sat and talked with her during my break. She is younger than I thought. Right when she got up to leave, she casually mentioned that she would be coming here with some friends tonight. I took that as my opportunity to kick off my single life.

  A simple goodbye kiss was what I had in mind with Candi, but she had other ideas. Her hands grip my shirt, pulling me closer to her body. Back away, I tell myself, but, I let it happen. The kiss is soft, almost innocent. That familiar sense of arousal stirs when she invites me to come home with her. Any guy would have the same reaction.

  "You sure you won’t come home with me?" Candi asks me again.
r />   Dammit. "Not tonight, but maybe some other time."

  She slides into the cab, giving me one last look. For a second, I think about getting in with her; maybe getting lost in someone would work the redhead inside the club out of my system, but I know it won’t. She's forever embedded in my brain. More like my body.

  This is the second time I’ve seen her with Tyler, and I still can't say anything bad about the guy. But, it doesn't mean I have to like him either. I stop myself from going back inside, tossing her over my shoulder, and reminding her of how good that night was. Instead, I hop on my motorcycle and head home. Alone.

  Once I step inside the house, I empty my pockets on the coffee table before heading straight for the fridge. I open the door to grab a beer, twist the cap off, and toss it on the counter. After the first sip, I know it won’t be strong enough to kill my thoughts of Lexi. Or Lexi and Tyler. Together.

  A few shots of Jack should do the trick. I grab a glass and the bottle from the liquor cabinet. The first shot doesn't make its way through my system fast enough, so I decide to take one more. A second turns to a third. By the fourth one, the fluid is running through my system, but it's not enough to rid my brain of the images of her rubbing her hot body against his. Then there’s the thought of Lexi going home with another man. That alone drives me mad. I head to the shower, praying the water will calm me. It doesn’t. I dry off and throw on a pair of sweats, praying sleep will take me.

  It does the complete opposite. I'm wide-awake, thinking about her in my bed and my cock in her sweet pussy.

  My hand instinctively grabs my dick above my sweats, hard from the thoughts of Lexi. I close my eyes, wishing it was Lexi teasing me. The friction of the material rubbing against my cock and the thought of her touching me has me hard in no time. I imagine it’s her lowering my sweats just enough that I spring free. Gripping myself tight, I start slowly stroking myself while picturing Lexi watching me. She starts licking her lips, dying for a taste. My fingers touch the piercing I got three months ago with her in mind, and I wonder what it will be like the first time I slide into her wet, slick, pussy.