‘I hear from the others that you know Dr Bedi. He’s lovely, don’t you think?’
Caitlin wasn’t quite sure how to answer. What was she supposed to say to that? That, yes, he was gorgeous and that she fancied the pants off him? ‘He seems very nice,’ she said noncommittally.
‘Half the nurses and doctors here are in love with him. The other half are married.’ Linda laughed. ‘Thank goodness I’m in the second half. Otherwise I’d be doomed to have my heart broken, like the rest.’
Caitlin wasn’t used to such frankness and wasn’t sure how to respond. Thankfully, as she was searching frantically for a more neutral subject, Andrew himself appeared.
‘They told me I’d find you here,’ he said, pouring himself a glass of water from the cooler and gulping it greedily. ‘I wondered if you wanted to see the paeds wards before we have lunch. Your theatre list starts at 1.30. Right?’ She eyed him, mentally readjusting her opinion of him in light of what Linda had told her.
Caitlin stood. ‘I’d love to see the children’s ward,’ she said. ‘And meet the staff.’ She finished her coffee and rinsed her cup. ‘Thanks, Linda,’ she said as she followed Andrew out of the staffroom. ‘I’ll see you after Theatre.’
She followed Andrew out of the staffroom.
‘I don’t think we should leave Mrs Levy any longer,’ she said. ‘She’s showing all the signs of pre-eclampsia—raised blood pressure and protein in her urine. If we don’t deliver her and her condition gets worse then there is a chance she’ll start fitting and we’ll lose her. I’m sure neither of us want to be faced with a maternal death.’
Andrew turned and looked at her. ‘The last two scans place her at twenty-eight weeks,’ he said. ‘There’s not been much growth since then.’ He frowned. Caitlin wondered if he was unused to having his opinion challenged. Underneath his easygoing exterior she thought there was a man who, once he had made up his mind, was loath to change it. It was clear in the way the staff acquiesced to him that he was used to being deferred to. On the other hand, so was she. She trusted her instinct, and if she were back in Ireland nobody would have questioned her decision.
‘If we deliver her now, then there is a chance the baby won’t survive,’ he continued. ‘Even another couple of days would give it a better chance.’
Caitlin held her ground. ‘If we wait another couple of days and the mother develops full-blown eclampsia then there’s a good chance that we’ll lose the baby as well as the mother. Is that a risk you’re prepared to take? Because I’m not sure I am.’
They stared at each other, neither willing to give an inch.
‘We should go and speak to the patient at least,’ Caitlin said eventually. ‘We should give her all the facts and let her decide.’
‘Do you think that’s fair?’ Andrew countered. ‘If she decides to go ahead and let us deliver the baby, and the baby dies, she’ll carry that burden always. She’ll always wonder if she made the right decision.’
‘And if she takes your advice and waits, and she and the baby both die, then what about the rest of her family? She has two children under the age of five. Do you think it’s fair to leave them without a mother?’ Caitlin felt her voice catch on the last words as an image of her niece and nephew growing up without their mother flashed across her mind.
Andrew looked at her sharply. ‘Are you sure this isn’t becoming personal, Caitlin?’ he asked softly.
Caitlin gritted her teeth in frustration. She never let her personal feelings or emotions interfere with her professional judgement. But that didn’t mean that she looked on her patients just as obstetric dilemmas—she prided herself on taking all aspects of their lives into account when making a clinical decision. How dared he suggest otherwise? Even if he already thought of her as some sort of pathetic female that needed rescuing. Now he was accusing her of being over-emotional and letting her worry about her sister cloud her judgement. Well, she would soon put him right.
‘Let me make one thing absolutely clear, Dr Bedi. It’s important we understand one another if we are going to be making joint decisions about patients.’ Her voice was cold and clipped, even to her own ears, but she made no attempt to soften her tone. ‘The decisions I make are always—’ she emphasised the last word ‘—made on the basis of what is good for my patient. I never let personal feelings cloud my judgement.’ Aware that she had curled her hands into fists, she made herself relax. What was it about this man which caused her to have such strong reactions?
‘I’m glad to hear it, Dr O’Neill,’ he said calmly. ‘Because if I ever had reason to think you weren’t up to the job, believe you me, regardless of the friendship I have with your family. I wouldn’t hesitate to have you removed from the case. Now, do I make myself clear?’
CHAPTER THREE
STUNNED, Caitlin could only stare open-mouthed at Andrew.
‘Well, now that we understand each other,’ she said stiffly, ‘shall we continue?’ She marched off in what she hoped was the general direction of Paediatrics, not caring whether Andrew was following or not. Of all the insufferable, conceited, big-headed…She was fuming to herself when Andrew caught her arm and stopped her in her tracks.
She glared at him, before seeing the look of apology in his deep brown eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘that was unforgivable of me.’
‘Yes, it was,’ Caitlin said. Then she softened at his look of genuine remorse. ‘Do you really have doubts about my clinical judgement?’ she asked, puzzled. ‘I know you had me checked out thoroughly before you arranged the job for me.’
‘I did,’ Andrew said. ‘And I don’t have doubts. It’s just…’ He hesitated. ‘Let’s just say that I have my reasons.’
‘Shouldn’t you tell me what they are?’ Caitlin said.
‘There’s no need. I agree we should wait for the scan results before we decide what to do. Okay?’
Caitlin was tempted to press further, but she could tell from the set of his chin that she was unlikely to get anything more from Andrew. But she was a patient woman. Whatever it was, she would find out soon enough.
‘Okay,’ Caitlin said. ‘Now, let’s go and see this paediatric ward of yours.’
After a quick tour of the children’s ward, Caitlin left Andrew checking his patients and made her way to the scanning room where Mrs Oliphant was waiting for her.
‘Hey, how are you doing?’ Caitlin said. Mary just smiled weakly.
Caitlin passed the catheter then turned the monitor towards her patient and pointed to the screen.
‘Look,’ she told the anxious woman. ‘You can see both the ovaries. That’s the left one and there’s the right. And see that little blob there? That’s a follicle with an egg developing inside. So far so good. Everything is normal.’ She withdrew the catheter. ‘You can get dressed now.’
Once Mrs Oliphant was dressed and sitting down, Caitlin turned to her. ‘I’ve also had the blood results back. And they’re consistent with the scan we’ve just done. Your ovaries are looking good. And the embryologists have told me that Richard’s results are also normal. So I’m going to suggest that you go home and keep trying for another six months. If you’re still not pregnant by then, we’ll talk about IVF. But I’ve got a feeling that you won’t need it.’
Mary relaxed and smiled broadly. ‘It’s such a relief to know,’ she said. ‘I can’t tell you how worried I’ve been.’
‘Sometimes,’ Caitlin said gently, ‘I find that once couples relax, nature just takes it course. And if it doesn’t, well, you can come and see me again. But for now I want you and Richard to go home and have plenty of sex.’
She saw a happy and relieved Mary out, and then asked whether the scanner could be taken to the antenatal ward for Mrs Levy’s scan.
Once back on the antenatal ward, Caitlin prepped Patricia’s abdomen with gel, apologising for the cold sensation. Then she placed the wand over her abdomen and turned the screen towards the patient so that she was able to see what Caitlin was seei
ng.
‘See that over there.’ She pointed to the heart. ‘That’s the baby’s heart. As you can see, it’s beating strongly.’ Patricia looked entranced as Caitlin proceeded to point out arms and legs. The image was so good that she was even able to show Mrs Levy her baby sucking her thumb. ‘And as you’ve been told already, she is a healthy little girl. I put her at about twenty-eight weeks and three days.’
Mrs Levy lay back on the bed, looking thoughtful. ‘It makes it seem more real, seeing her there on the screen.’ She closed her eyes and Caitlin watched as tears slid out from underneath her eyelids. ‘I just don’t know what to do for the best. If only my Jack was here to help me decide.’ Caitlin knew from the notes that Mrs Levy’s husband had been killed in a traffic accident early on in the pregnancy. Her heart went out to the distraught woman. ‘My other two, my boys, they are my first husband’s,’ she went on. ‘We divorced when my youngest was two. I thought that was me. That it would just be me and the boys. And then Jack came along, and that was that. We fell in love and married a few months later.’ She opened her eyes and Caitlin could see the memories brighten her eyes.
Caitlin perched beside her patient on the bed. ‘Go on,’ she said softly.
‘As I say, we got married, once the children had got to know him, and then started trying for a baby. It took a couple of years for me to get pregnant, you know. I was getting close to forty by this time.’ She paused, her eyes misting over. ‘He was so excited, he didn’t have children of his own, never having married before. He was just like a little kid himself. He even went out and bought a crib the day after I took the pregnancy test.’
Caitlin was aware of somebody coming to stand behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Andrew. Patricia went on.
‘Then just a couple of months later he was dead.’ She started to cry in earnest. Wordlessly, Andrew passed her some tissues and they waited in silence while she fought for control. Eventually, she blew her nose.
‘So, you see,’ she said once her sobs had subsided, ‘I can’t risk losing this baby. It’s all I have left of Jack.’ She looked from Andrew to Caitlin, her eyes begging them to understand. ‘Dr Bedi knows all this,’ she said quietly. ‘That’s why he said we might be able to risk waiting a day or two.’
‘But,’ Caitlin said gently, ‘you do realise if we wait too long there’s a risk you could develop full-blown eclampsia and might die. What about your other children? They’d be left without a mother.’
‘I don’t want to die,’ Patricia said fiercely. ‘I don’t want to leave my kids, but Dr Bedi says you’ll watch me carefully.’
‘Okay,’ Caitlin agreed reluctantly. ‘We’ll watch and wait. But I’m warning you, if there is the slightest sign of your condition worsening, I’m getting you delivered. Agreed?’ She looked at Andrew for confirmation and was relieved when he nodded.
‘I’ll ask them to call me at home if there’s any change,’ he said.
‘As will I,’ Caitlin added. ‘I’ll do the section myself.’
‘I’d feel so much better if you’ll both be there,’ Mrs Levy said, hope brightening her eyes.
‘But they might have to go ahead and deliver you if I can’t get here in time,’ Caitlin warned.
‘I understand,’ Patricia said. ‘Thank you both for taking care of me and listening.’
Andrew and Caitlin left Patricia to get some rest. A glance at her watch told Caitlin that she was due in Theatre.
‘Did you know all that?’ she asked. ‘Is that the reason you wanted to wait?’
‘Partly,’ Andrew said. ‘At the end of the day I want the same thing you do. A healthy baby and a mother who survives to look after it. But,’ he said, ‘I don’t think we should ever look at patients as if they were simply their medical problems. We need to see them as people, all with different needs requiring different solutions.’ Caitlin bristled. Was he suggesting that she didn’t see her patients as individuals? He had no right to make that assessment of her. But, she admitted to herself, was there just the tiniest bit of truth in it? Was that why she was so drawn to the academic side of her chosen speciality? Because it was easier than dealing with real people and real emotions? He grinned down at her, and Caitlin’s heart gave a curious flip. ‘You and I are on the same side after all.’
Caitlin’s surgeries were straightforward and she didn’t see Andrew again until it was time to leave for the day. She felt wrung out, the perspiration trickling down her shoulder blades. Before she left she checked on Mrs Levy. There was no change in her condition. Caitlin asked that the staff be asked to call her should her condition change during the night. When she checked her watch it was after six. It had been a long first day. Suddenly anxious to get home to check on Brianna, she paged Andrew and told him she’d meet him by the hospital entrance. When he finally arrived he was whistling cheerfully.
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘Ready to go?’
As they set off home, the sun was sinking in the sky. Caitlin welcomed the breeze as they made their way through the traffic. She was uncomfortably aware of Andrew in the small space of his sports car. She could smell the faint tang of his aftershave and was conscious of his long fingers as he steered the car through the traffic. What would it be like to feel those fingers on her skin? she wondered. Immediately she was horrified at the direction her thoughts were taking. What was wrong with her? Thinking like this was so unlike her. Maybe the strangeness of a new country was affecting her? It wasn’t as if she had the time or inclination for romance. Not with so much on her plate and certainly not with this man.
‘I gather you looked in on Mrs Levy,’ he said as they reached the edge of the suburb where Brianna lived.
‘Yes, before I paged you,’ she said. ‘All her results are exactly the same as before. So perhaps we made the right decision to wait. I hope so.’
‘Mmm. I went to see her too. If her condition changes, they’ll call me. Believe me, I’m as determined as you that both will pull through,’ he said, his mouth set in a grim line.
They turned into the drive of Brianna’s house, sending a flock of rainbow lorikeets into the air. ‘They are so beautiful,’ Caitlin said, admiring the vividly coloured birds with their bright red beaks and green wings. ‘Just like something I’d expect to find in the Amazon rainforest.’
‘They’re all over Brisbane,’Andrew replied. He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘If you’re interested in seeing more of the same, as well as experiencing a rainforest, you don’t have to go as far as the Amazon. There’s a place not far out of Brisbane in the Green Mountains called O’Reilly’s.’ He grinned at her. ‘No relation, I presume?’ Not waiting for a reply, he continued, ‘I go up there on a regular basis. It’s a great way to escape the heat of the city and there are amazing walks in the rainforest. They even have one that takes you right across the treetops.’
‘It sounds wonderful,’ Caitlin agreed. ‘But I’m not really here to amuse myself. When I’m not working, I’d rather spend the time with Brianna.’
‘You could go together,’ Andrew suggested. ‘I believe there’s plenty to keep the kids busy. And if you’re interested, there’s also my house up the coast. Niall and the family often stay there. You’re welcome to use it too while you’re here.’
‘That’s very generous of you,’ Caitlin said. ‘Are you coming in?’ she asked, levering herself out of the car.
‘No, thanks,’ he said. ‘You’ll want to spend time alone with Brianna, after being away all day. I’ll leave you to it.’ And with a spurt of gravel he had gone. Caitlin stared after his departing car. He was a mass of contradictions. One minute a flirtatious playboy, the next a kind and sensitive friend. She didn’t quite know what to make of him. All she knew was that Dr Andrew Bedi was having a very unsettling effect on her and that was the last thing she wanted or needed right now.
‘How did your first day go?’ Brianna asked. Caitlin had helped organise the children for bed and the two women were relaxing in the kitchen with some iced tea.
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‘It was interesting,’ Caitlin said slowly. ‘But nothing very different from back home. How was your day?’ She searched her sister’s face for signs of tiredness. Although the tumour had been large enough to be classed as Stage II, the positioning of it meant that Brianna had been able to have a lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy. While the surgery had been straightforward, Caitlin could see that the follow-up chemotherapy was taking its toll on her sister. Thankfully she only had one more session to complete. Then the doctors would wait a month, giving her body some time to recover, before starting Brianna on a course of radiotherapy.
‘I feel good, you know,’ Brianna said softly. ‘The effects of the chemo weren’t nearly as bad as I was expecting. Except perhaps for the loss of my hair.’ She ruefully touched the scarf she was using to cover her scalp. ‘Losing my eyelashes, believe it or not, was almost the worst part of this whole business.’
Caitlin reached over and hugged her sister. ‘Were you frightened? Silly question—you must have been.’
‘I never once believed that I wouldn’t get better. When you have two small children, you have to believe that.’
Brianna swivelled round in her seat and looked at Caitlin. ‘What about you, Cat? Have you thought about what this might mean for you?’
Caitlin frowned. ‘I’m not sure I know what you mean.’
‘C’mon, sis, you’re a doctor. Aunty Molly died of breast cancer when she was thirty-six. And now I have it at thirtytwo. It’s likely there is a genetic component. Don’t tell me it hasn’t crossed your mind.’
It hadn’t. When Caitlin had first heard about Brianna she had been too caught up worrying about her to even consider what it might mean for her. Then there had been the arrangements for her job to think about. But now she thought about it, she realised Brianna was right. There was a strong possibility she might develop breast cancer herself.
‘I’ll go see someone,’ she said. ‘Perhaps arrange for a mammogram. But I do check myself regularly, and so far I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.’
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