‘I think about Siobhan,’ Brianna admitted. ‘Her chances of getting breast cancer are also increased.’ She took a sip of her drink, looking more worried than Caitlin had seen her before. ‘You hear about girls having a double mastectomy because they’re so worried. How on earth will I advise her when she’s older?’
Caitlin’s thoughts were whirling around inside her head. This was something she just hadn’t thought about. Although she had tried to reassure Brianna, she knew that what she was saying was true. Both she and Siobhan did have an increased chance of getting the disease. And if she ever had a daughter, she too would be at risk. Would she be prepared to take that chance? But she and Brianna were getting way ahead of themselves.
‘You know, by the time Siobhan is older, they might well have found a cure. Detection is getting so much better now, as are survival rates. They’ve come a long way since Aunt Molly’s time.’
‘I heard somewhere that there is a test that can tell you whether you have the gene,’ Brianna said thoughtfully. ‘Do you think we can find out about it?’
‘Of course,’ Caitlin said. ‘Leave it to me.’ She squeezed her sister’s hand, trying to inject all the reassurance she could into the touch.
‘I know you are going to be just fine. You’ll get through this and I’ll be here to make sure you do.’
‘Is that the sister or the doctor speaking?’ Brianna asked with a small smile.
‘Both,’ said Caitlin firmly. ‘Now, don’t you think it’s time for bed?’
It felt to Caitlin as if she had only been asleep for a couple of minutes when she was woken by her mobile phone. Switching on the bedside light, she squinted at the unfamiliar number on her phone.
‘Hello. Dr O’Neill?’ said the voice. ‘It’s the hospital here. We spoke to Dr Bedi and he said to call you. I hope you don’t mind.’
Instantly Caitlin was wide awake. ‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Is it Mrs Levy?’
‘Yes,’ the voice replied. ‘Her blood pressure has risen, causing some concern. Dr Bedi is on his way in, in case we have to section her. He said that you might want to perform the procedure.’
‘I’ll be there as soon as I can.’
Twenty minutes later Caitlin was at the hospital. At four in the morning the roads were clear of traffic, and she was relieved that she remembered the way, only taking one wrong turn.
She rushed up to the antenatal ward and found Andrew already there in discussion with the midwives. Mrs Levy was looking anxiously from one to the other. She seemed even more worried when she spotted Caitlin.
‘I guess that means you’ve made up your minds to deliver me,’ she said despondently, sinking back in her pillows.
‘Not necessarily,’ Caitlin said softly. ‘I need to have a chat with Dr Bedi before we decide.’ She looked at the chart, which Andrew had passed over. She could see from the notes the night staff had made that Patricia’s platelets had dropped and that she was showing the first signs of renal failure.
‘I don’t think we can wait any longer,’ she said. Andrew nodded his agreement. ‘I’ll let Theatre know,’ he said, turning away.
Caitlin returned to Patricia’s bedside. ‘I’m sorry, Patricia, but we can’t wait any longer. We have to get you delivered, and Dr Bedi agrees.’
Patricia squeezed her eyes shut, but not before Caitlin could see that they were awash with tears. ‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Can’t we wait? Just a little longer. It’s too soon.’
Caitlin shook her head. ‘It’s too dangerous,’ she said. ‘But Dr Bedi will do everything he can to save your baby. You just have to trust us now.’
Suddenly Patricia sat up in bed, panic-stricken. ‘I can’t see!’ she cried out. ‘What’s happening? Please, someone, help me!’
Caitlin whirled round, her heart sinking. Loss of eyesight was a clear symptom that Patricia’s condition had worsened. Now they really needed to get her delivered. Time was against them.
‘It’s okay, Patricia,’ she said. ‘It’s probably only temporary. As soon as we get you delivered, everything will be okay.’ But even as she said the words she wondered if they were true. There was every chance they could lose her and the baby. She glanced across at Andrew and could see that the same thoughts had crossed his mind.
‘Let’s get her down to Theatre—now! Page the anaesthetist to tell whoever it is to meet us in Theatre,’ Andrew said, unlocking the wheels of the bed. Helped by Caitlin and the midwives, they pushed the bed towards Theatre.
Caitlin’s heart was pounding as they ran with Patricia. Once there, she still had to scrub up. That would take five minutes, but would give the anaesthetist time to put Patricia under. How quickly they would get the baby out would depend on how quickly she could carry out the procedure. At this point, every second counted.
Leaving Patricia in the care of the theatre staff, Caitlin scrubbed up alongside Andrew.
‘It seems you were right after all,’Andrew said grimly. ‘I really hoped we had some more time.’
‘It was the right decision to wait,’ Caitlin said. ‘I’ll get the baby out, and then it’s up to you.’
By the time they had finished scrubbing up, Patricia had been anesthetised and Caitlin wasted no time in cutting open her abdomen. Instead of the transverse incision, which left a neater scar, she went for a longitudinal cut which would allow her to get the baby out quicker. Now was not the time to think about cosmetics. It only took her three minutes from the first incision to removing the baby from its protective sac. A record even for her. She passed the tiny baby, not much bigger than her hand, across to Andrew, who was standing by with a nurse from the special care unit ready to resuscitate the baby. The tiny girl was so small Caitlin could see every vein through its translucent skin.
‘C’mon, darling,’ Caitlin whispered as she passed the baby across. ‘Fight. Your mummy needs you.’
Caitlin could have heard a pin drop as everyone held their breath, hardly daring to hope. She forced her attention away from what was happening behind her to her patient. Although the baby was out, the mother wasn’t out of danger yet. She needed to deliver the placenta and close the wound. Only after that could she be sure Patricia would make it. Behind her she was aware of voices and movement. Eventually, just as she had finished closing, Andrew called out.
‘We’re taking her up to Intensive Care.’ And then with a last flutter of activity they were gone.
Thankfully, Patricia’s blood pressure dropped dramatically now that the baby had been delivered. Caitlin waited with her until she came round from the anaesthetic, desperately worried that the loss of eyesight might be permanent. It was so unfair. Patricia already had had more than her fair share of tragedy. What if she were left blind and her baby died or was left brain damaged? It would be too cruel.
But eventually Patricia’s eyes flickered open. Caitlin held her breath as Patricia slowly focussed on her face.
‘Dr O’Neill,’ Patricia said. ‘How’s my baby?’
Caitlin sighed with relief. Patricia’s blindness had been temporary. Thank God they had got her to Theatre in time. Now all they needed to do was to ensure her baby survived.
‘She’s holding her own,’ Caitlin said softly. ‘Now that you’re awake, I’ll go and see her myself and report back.’
Patricia struggled to sit up, her face twisted in pain. ‘I want to see my baby,’ she cried. ‘I need to see her and she needs me!’ Gently, Caitlin eased her back down. ‘I will take you to see her as soon as it’s possible. I promise. And I’ll come straight back down and tell you everything once I’ve seen her. In the meantime, promise me you’ll take it easy?’
Patricia closed her eyes, defeated, sinking back into the peace of sleep. ‘Be as quick as you can,’ she whispered. ‘Tell them I need my little girl.’
After she’d left Patricia, Caitlin went to the special care unit. Andrew and the team were still working on the baby. Caitlin stood to the side and watched, not wanting to get in the way. Eventually Andrew sto
od back from the incubator and peeled off his gloves.
‘Right, keep a close eye on her. But well done, everyone. The next twenty-four hours are crucial.’ Then he noticed Caitlin and walked across to her. She could see the fatigue in his eyes, but he was smiling. Caitlin’s heart leapt. It was a good sign.
‘Baby’s breathing,’ he said softly. ‘It’s still touch and go and will be for the next few days, even weeks, but she has a chance. How’s Mum?’
‘She’s going to be fine,’ Caitlin answered. ‘Her eyesight has returned.’ She saw the look of relief in Andrew’s eyes. ‘She’ll want to see her baby once she’s fully recovered from the anaesthesia. In the meantime, I’ve promised to report back on how her baby is doing.’ She walked across to the incubator and looked at the tiny form that was almost obscured by tubes and lines. Although she had seen babies in such a condition before, she never found it any easier. She knew Patricia would have to be prepared for seeing her baby like this.
‘Does she have a chance?’ she asked.
‘I think so,’ Andrew said. ‘We will do everything we possibly can.’ He straightened his shoulders. ‘But, there’s nothing more I can do for the time being—the nurses have everything under control. I’ll check up on her once I’ve spoken to Patricia.’
‘The nurses will page me as soon as she comes round properly,’ Caitlin said. ‘We can both speak to her then.’
‘Coffee?’ Andrew asked.
‘I’d love some.’
Caitlin followed him into the staffroom just off the main ward. As always after an emergency, Caitlin felt the adrenaline drain away, leaving her feeling emotionally as well as physically exhausted. She accepted a coffee gratefully.
‘Are you okay?’ Andrew asked. Despite her best intentions, it seemed as if he were able to see through the exterior she tried so hard to present to the outside world. His dark brown eyes seemed to drill right through her. But as she returned his gaze, she could tell he was equally affected by the drama.
‘She looks so small and defenceless,’ she said. ‘It’s hard to imagine that someone that tiny can survive.’
‘Every day more and more babies survive, you know that,’ Andrew said gently. ‘Her chances were helped by you getting her out so quickly.’
‘But even if she survives, we both know she might have brain damage.’
‘Yes,’ Andrew agreed. ‘On the other hand, she could be perfectly all right. That’s what we have to hope for. We have to stay positive.’
‘How can you do it, day after day?’ Caitlin asked. ‘You must lose so many children. At least in my specialty, the outcome is usually positive.’
‘And increasingly so in mine,’ Andrew said. ‘The trick, I find, is not to get too emotionally involved.’
‘Like me, you mean?’ Caitlin said, her temper rising. ‘Well, I’m sorry, Mr Cool, that we can’t all be machines.’
Andrew placed his mug on the counter and stepped towards her until he was towering over her. His dark eyes glinted dangerously. ‘Is that how you see me?’ he asked. ‘As a machine?’ He raised his hand and traced a finger across her cheekbone. Caitlin felt herself tingle. ‘I can assure you, Dr O’Neill, that I am no machine.’
Caitlin was rooted to the spot. She felt her breath catch in her throat. She could feel the heat of his body radiating into hers. Then he dropped his hand and turned away from her. Caitlin felt her knees wobble and had to hold on to the worktop to hold herself upright. What was this man doing to her? Why was he having this effect on her? He might be good looking, but he was not her type. Far too masculine and assured of his own sexuality. Caitlin had an image of him flinging her across his shoulder before marching off to some cave. The image made her smile. Just then one of the midwives popped her head in. She stood for a moment, glancing from Andrew to Caitlin, looking puzzled, and Caitlin wondered if she could sense the sexual tension in the room.
‘The ward called, Dr O’Neill. They thought you’d be here. Mrs Levy has come round. They said you wanted to know.’
‘Thank you,’ Caitlin replied. She rinsed her cup in the sink. ‘Shall we go, Dr Bedi?’
CHAPTER FOUR
CAITLIN didn’t see much of Andrew over the next few days. She went up to SCBU a couple of times a day to check on baby Levy’s progress and would sometimes catch sight of Andrew examining a patient or in discussion with the nursing staff. Every time she caught a glimpse of his dark head, she was uncomfortably aware of the effect on her heart rate.
Patricia was always by her baby’s cot, willing her on. ‘I’m so desperate to hold her,’ she told Caitlin. ‘I just feel that if I could hold her in my arms, if she could feel me, know that I’m here…’ Her voice broke. ‘That her mummy is right here beside her…I would feel so much better. All I’ve been able to do is touch her finger.’
‘Just hang in there,’ Caitlin said. ‘She’s getting stronger every day. And she’ll recognise your voice. The nurses tell me you talk to her all the time.’
‘And sing,’ Patricia said. ‘Although my voice isn’t up to much.’ She managed a wry smile. Caitlin glanced around the room. All the incubators had mothers and in some cases fathers by the cots. All wore the same anxious expressions.
‘How are your other children?’ Caitlin asked.
‘My mother has come to stay with them. Thank goodness she was prepared to move out of her house and into mine. But I miss them so much. They come to see me, but it’s not the same as being with them all the time. I’ve never been away from them before. Not even overnight.’ Then she started crying again. ‘I wish Jack was here. It’s not fair. He should be here with me.’
Caitlin felt helpless to comfort the distraught woman. It was so unfair the way life dealt the cards sometimes. She became aware that Andrew was standing behind her. He crouched down beside the stricken woman.
‘Hey,’ he said softly. ‘What’s this? Your baby is making progress. She’s a fighter. Just like her mother, I suspect.’
‘Patricia needs to hold her baby,’ Caitlin said.
‘I think we can arrange that.’ Very gently he reached inside the incubator and lifted the infant out, careful not to disturb any of the lines. In his large hands the baby looked even smaller, more defenceless, if that were possible. Seeing what he was doing, one of the nursing staff came rushing over.
‘Dr Bedi, what do you think you’re doing? The baby needs to stay in the incubator.’
‘What this baby needs, more than any medicine we can provide, is to feel her mother’s arms,’ he said firmly, before placing his delicate bundle in Patricia’s arms. ‘Only for a few moments,’ he said, smiling down at her.
Caitlin felt a lump in her throat as she watched Patricia gaze down at her baby.
‘Hello there,’ Patricia said softly, her voice little more than a whisper. ‘Hello, my darling girl. This is Mummy speaking.’ Caitlin had to turn away as tears pricked her eyes. Impatiently she blinked them away. She was damned if she was going to let anyone see the ultra-cool Dr O’Neill with her defences down. But catching Andrew’s look of surprise, she knew it was too late.
On Friday after work, Caitlin lay by the side of the pool, enjoying the cool breeze that rustled the trees. She watched, entranced, as the multicoloured birds danced from tree to tree, calling to each other. She was beginning to see what Brianna loved about living here, although she found the heat difficult to cope with. Even though it was early evening it was still hot and Caitlin felt a trickle of perspiration trickle between her breasts. For a moment she thought of Ireland, the green fields and rolling hills—and the rain. She’d never thought she’d miss that, but after a week of endless sunshine she realised she did.
Brianna had gone to collect the children at a play date, refusing Caitlin’s offer to accompany her, saying that she wanted to catch up with one of the mothers. As Niall’s plane wasn’t due for a couple of hours, Caitlin had the place to herself.
Although she loved her sister and her family dearly, Caitlin revelled in the peace
and quiet. The first since she had arrived.
She glanced across at the pool. The water looked so cool and inviting. Making up her mind, she slipped off her shorts and T-shirt, followed quickly by her underwear—there was no one about to see her after all—and jumped into the pool, gasping with delight as she felt the cool water on her skin. She swam a few lengths underwater and then stopped to catch her breath. Good grief, she was out of shape. She must remember to ask Brianna if there was a gym she could join.
As a shadow fell across the pool she looked up to find Andrew standing by the edge of the pool, looking down at her. He had the sun at his back so she was unable to read his expression, but realising she was naked she wrapped her arms around her body. Did no one knock in this country?
He must have read her mind as he said, ‘The front door was open so I thought I’d find you round the back.’ He grinned down at her. ‘I had no idea I’d find you skinny dipping,’ he drawled, his Australian accent stronger than ever. ‘Do you mind if I join you?’ He was wearing a T-shirt and the same Bermuda shorts he had worn the previous weekend. Caitlin felt warmth deep in her belly.
‘No,’ she said sharply. ‘I mean, yes, I do mind!’
‘Too bad,’ he said, grinning broadly, and with one sweep he had removed his T-shirt, revealing his muscular chest. Caitlin struggled to keep her eyes off his abdomen. She had seen six packs before, but never outside a magazine. He wasn’t over-muscular, just perfect. Before she had a chance to protest further, he had dived in. At least he’d kept his Bermudas on, Caitlin thought. The image of them in the water together both naked was too much.
‘Excuse me,’ she said as he surfaced, water steaming from his black hair. ‘I thought I said I didn’t want you to come in. Now, either you get out or I will.’
‘You’re welcome to get out any time,’ he said, his eyes creasing at the corners. ‘Don’t let me stop you.’
‘You know I can’t,’ she protested.
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