Exposed: Book One of The Love Seekers Series

by Vickers, Maria

  Bryan: It always felt as if you were holding something back, I thought if I talked to someone who knew you it would give me some sort of clue.

  Me: I’ve probably been more open with you than most.

  Trust never came easy to me, but what I told him was true. Maybe I confided in him because it felt safe to do so online, or maybe there was something else there.

  Bryan: More open is not telling me everything.

  My eyebrow quirked and I shook my head. Greedy.

  Me: You aren’t my bff. LOL.

  Bryan: How long have you known her?

  Me: Since my dad retired from the Navy.

  Bryan: And that’s Gia?

  Me: You remembered.

  Bryan: You’ve mentioned her a couple of times, but yeah, I remembered. So? When did you two meet?

  Me: We were both 12 and in the same grade.

  Bryan: Long time to know someone. Where did you meet?

  Me: Texas. She was one of the first people I met in the new neighborhood. We became instant friends and were almost inseparable from day one. She knows me better than anyone. She always has my back and I have hers. Now that she’s married with a kid and I live in SC, we don’t see each other as often, but we talk all the time. Her family claims me, and mine does the same for her.

  Bryan: Everyone deserves a friend like that.

  Me: You and Mel have been friends for a while. I have to ask, did you eever think about dating her?

  Not sure why I pried, but my curiosity got the better of me.

  Bryan: If I throw up on my computer, will you buy me a new one?

  Me: Funny. She has the same reaction.

  Bryan: Then why ask?

  Me: Because.

  Bryan: Did you ever consider dating your bff?

  Me: Hell no. She’s a girl and I’m into guys. Haha.

  Bryan: To me, Mel is like my sister. I can’t ever imagine dating my sister. And besides, feelings beyond friendship never came into play.

  I blamed my growing incessant need to know everything about him on my next question. I needed to stop myself, and was unable to do so.

  Me: Have you ever been in love?

  Bryan: No, but I thought I was a time or two. You?

  Me: I don’t know any more.

  Bryan: Ok. I have a test for you.

  He changed the subject rather quickly, and for that I was grateful. That said, a test? I didn’t realize I still attended school.

  Me: What?

  Did he sense my distress? I could not be sure, but he tried to reassure me.

  Bryan: Don’t worry. Mel’s going too. My friend is having a party/BBQ, and you got an invite.

  Telling me not to worry, made me worried and anxious. A party? A friend? I wasn’t so sure about any of this. Had I met this friend?

  Me: What friend?

  Bryan: Doesn’t matter. You’re going.

  That meant I didn’t know this so called friend. Great, but not really.

  Me: Nope, I’m not.

  Bryan: Yes, you are. Look, Mel knows him too. She’s the one that told me about the party, so you don’t have to worry. She and Luke will both be there as moral support. They just don’t know it yet. :D

  Did he really expect me to go to a party where no one knew me? Where they would look at me like I was some sort of freak? No, thank you. I was scared. I could admit it.

  After the blind date, the only time I had left my house was when my sister forced me to her cookout or brunch, or when I had to go to the store or doctor. My self-esteem took a beating that night, and while I knew Bryan had been working on helping me overcome my issues, fear held me prisoner. It shackled me and refused to let go. Most therapists would have told me to break the yoke that bound me, jump off the cliff, face my fears, and put myself out there. I’ve done that before, and this was the result. I had become what my granny would call plum pitiful.

  Bryan: Don’t think, just do it. If I could be there, I would be, but if you need me, you only need to message me. I’ll make sure I’m online all day.

  Easy for him to say. He had only invited me moments ago, and I already had to fight the urge to bury my head in the sand like a cartoon ostrich.

  Me: You sound like a sports shoe commercial.

  Bryan: Good advice can come from the boob tube. ;)

  And with those simple words, he talked me down. The panic that had been welling up, threatening to drown me, only moments before, started to disperse.

  Me: Fine. I’ll go, but no promises on talking to anyone.

  Bryan: I’m only asking you to go. First step and all that.

  Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes and huffed in annoyance, pretending the grin on my face did not exist.

  Bryan: In order to move forward, you have to take a chance. You won’t find love sitting at home doing nothing. And sorry, but book boyfriends are not as good as the real thing.

  Why had he brought up book boyfriends? Once again, my curiosity was piqued. Smirking, my fingers moved swiftly over the keyboard.

  Me: How would you know? Have you compared a book boyfriend to the real thing? Do you have a book boyfriend all your own?

  Bryan: NO! Don’t even go there with me.

  Me: You sound a little defensive. Insecure? It’s all right. There are some men that write romance novels, and other men who read them. Nothing to be ashamed of.

  Bryan: Ingrate.

  Me: Awe. Striking out? Scared I’ll find out your secret?

  Bryan: To quote you, ‘I hate you’.

  Me: LOL. :*

  Bryan: I’ll send you the deets tomorrow. GTG. Bye.

  Apparently, I touched a chord and he decided to end the conversation. From what Mel told me, and my own observations, Bryan was straighter than a telephone pole, but it felt good to gain the upper hand and tease him a little.

  I fell backwards and laughed again. I may have a party I had to go to, even though I would have rather made an appointment with the dentist, but teasing him tonight, had been the highlight of my day.

  Chapter 16

  Bryan

  That woman knew how to get under my skin, and I couldn’t believe I let her do it. Cheeky didn’t even begin to describe Emma. My thoughts conjured a picture of her typing with sadistic glee and cackling at the same time. Her chocolate eyes danced as her cheeks turned pink. And I found myself chuckling. I couldn’t put my finger on who it was exactly, but she reminded me of someone.

  “Yo! You ready?” Evan called out from my bedroom doorway. Noticing my computer on my lap, his brow lifted and he inquired, “Talking to her again?”

  “Huh?” I frowned, dropping my eyes to the slender silver piece of hardware sitting on my thighs. “Yeah. I needed to tell her about Chad’s barbecue party.”

  “He’s your friend from back home? The one you met in college?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s wrong?” His arms crossed over his chest, changing his countenance. His posture and the way he crossed his arms over his chest told me he would not budge until I gave him a nibble of something.

  Shrugging, I said, “She doesn’t get it yet.”

  “Do you blame her? Dude, maybe you need to put yourself in her shoes for one second.” When he noticed that my scowl had turned ferocious, he held his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying. She’s been through a lot, and has no proof that any guy would actually want her. Hell, she’s probably lower than plankton on the self-esteem chain.”

  “Watching Sponge–Bob again? Doesn’t Plankton have an over inflated ego?”

  His middle finger flipped me off. “Asshole.”

  I chose to ignore him. Instead, I got up and I ran my fingers through my hair. Tonight, we were both going to a bar to celebrate a friend’s birthday, and I prayed there would be at least one decent girl there. I desperately needed to get laid.

  Evan leaned against the doorjamb and snorted. “No response? That’s unlike you. Are you sure that girl isn’t getting to you?”

  “No way in hell.
She’s a friend of a friend and nothing more. I only wish I knew how to fix her.”

  “Maybe she isn’t broken.” His words were an almost feral growl, and after he said his piece, he turned and walked out the door, calling over his shoulder, “Let’s go before we’re late.”

  Our discussion had been terminated, but his insight made me think. I stopped. No, I had to clear my head of Emma. In fact, once I dipped my dick into some warm pussy, all would be right with the world again. It had been too long.

  Why was I hell bent on helping one lonely girl? Why did I want to save her so badly? In the grand scheme of things, she was a nobody to me. Well, that wasn’t completely true, since we were sort off friends and she was Mel’s good friend, but there was nothing more to it than that. Nothing. So why had I felt it necessary to involve myself in her problems from the beginning? Why had I chosen to help someone who may be broken beyond repair, and who fought me every step of the way? Why was I torturing myself? Evan’s words echoed in my mind, “Maybe she isn’t broken.”

  No, Emma was most definitely broken. He could only say otherwise because he had never spoken to her before.

  Damn it! Emma invaded my thoughts, and threatened to strip my calm, cool, and collected shield from me.

  Tonight, I would make myself forget about her and find a girl of my own. The sooner I found someone for Emma, the better for me. Maybe love awaited her with one of my friends in Charleston. I was sure I could get someone to date her, build up her self-esteem, and then she might believe she was worthy of love.

  Maybe.

  Then again, maybes equaled uncertainty. Maybe one day I would jump into my jet, fly high into the sky, and never come back. Maybe I would be called to war again. Maybe my family would pull their heads out of their asses and…

  I still remembered the day I told my parents I wanted to join the Navy. After talking to a Navy recruiter at school during my junior year, I decided that as soon as I turned 18, I would join the ranks of our military as an enlisted man. My parents disagreed with me. They informed me that no son of theirs would ever join the military, especially not as a lowly enlisted man. Hearing their snide comments, listening to their snooty attitude, I clenched my hands into tight fists as I sat in the den enduring their endless tirade. I fought to keep my temper in check, when what I really wanted to do was to storm out of there leaving my family behind.

  Why was it so wrong to want to serve my country proudly? I thought my parents would have been proud of my decision since both my grandfathers served, but like with many things that came with my parents, I had been more than a little mistaken. They did everything they could to talk me out of joining, and finally resorted to reluctantly agreeing if I got my degree, which allowed me to enter as an officer. They had hoped my dreams of joining the Navy would disappear while I worked toward my degree, but as they tried to crush my dreams, I crushed theirs instead. With my degree in my hand, I signed the paperwork that broke my parents’ hearts, and got me as far away from them as possible. I followed my own dreams.

  My parents weren’t bad parents. Dad coached my little league baseball teams. Mom organized bake sales and the like for the PTA. We were the stereotypical American family complete with two kids: one boy and one girl. Things changed in high school, and I wasn’t sure exactly what had caused the house of cards to start falling. All I knew was that they suddenly stopped coming to my games, and this chasm appeared between us. Rayne, my sister, remained their little angel, but not me. And after I made my announcement concerning my wish to join the Navy, the chasm grew into a seemingly impassable gorge.

  When I returned from deployment, I called them immediately and left them a voicemail. They returned my call the next day and most of the call consisted of strained conversation and awkward silence. We no longer knew how to communicate with each other.

  I feared this wall would remain forever. It terrified me to think that something would happen to me, and they would not care one iota. That sounded stupid and weird because they were my parents, and I knew deep down that they loved me, even if they couldn’t show it. Maybe whatever this was would never be worked out, but maybe there was a way to move forward. I didn’t know. Maybe.

  That word again: maybe.

  One of my greatest fears was dying in my plane, and yet, as a pilot and Navy man, I would be at peace if I died protecting others while I served my country. My other greatest fear…No. I refused to go there even in my head.

  Since the night Emma accidentally messaged me, I found myself questioning some of my choices, thinking about things I hadn’t thought of in years. Tonight, I pushed her to the back of my mind and would do what I did best. In the crowd of wanting women, I would find a woman who would scratch my itch. Was I a playboy? Possibly, but hey, at least this time I didn’t use maybe.

  ***

  Evan and I arrived at the bar and immediately sought out our friend and the rest of the party. We were five minutes late and already on the prowl.

  As we made our way to the reserved room far in the back, our eyes wandered around, scanning for available women in the building. Some women sat with their boyfriends. They became oblivious to anything the person next to or across from them said. Their eyes followed us as they fucked us in their minds, their partners completely forgotten. Others, who were there as a single person or maybe with a friend, stopped in their tracks, their glasses raised half way up to their lips, and they swallowed hard. Not from drink, but from sudden unquenchable thirst for me or my roommate. And still others, searched for the reason behind the sudden lull in conversation, and when their eyes found us, their cheeks flamed pink, and they were unable to rip their eyes away from us.

  We were used to women fawning over us, and to the glares shot our way by jealous men. Both genders desired us in some way, whether they wanted in our pants or wanted to become us. We strutted through the restaurant, basking in our good fortune and future conquests. Evan and I may not be the best looking guys on the planet, however, we were far from ugly. My tall stature and muscles had girls swooning for me, but Evan put me to shame. A couple of inches taller than me, he looked as if he could compete in a Mr. Universe competition, and I firmly believed his cropped black hair (something left over from his army days) and his brown eyes, would win over male and female judges alike. He was that smooth.

  Together, no one could compare or get in our way. We were two men who got what we wanted when we wanted it. Our looks, our confidence, and our bodies all ensured we had an endless supply of women...most of the time. And that wasn’t cockiness, that was the God’s honest truth.

  I had been in the middle of a dry spell the past several weeks, and I couldn’t understand why. Actually, I knew why. Every girl I met had something wrong with them. Too old—I didn’t want a repeat of that woman and her daughter. Too young—the thought of someone calling me daddy made me shudder. Food in her teeth. Breath smelled. She fidgeted. Talked too much. Talked too little. And if I managed to find someone I wanted to fuck, Emma would ping me or I would think about her at the most inopportune times. Emma had royally screwed me over until now, and it was time for me to take charge again, to be the one doing the screwing.

  Walking into the back room, we easily spotted our friend, and immediately noticed the eight women hanging onto every word he said. Periodically the women would shift, and that was when we noticed each girl had one hand touching him: his arm, ass, hip, and shoulder. One even boldly rubbed his crotch in the middle of the room, but at least her hands were manicured and I detected zero stench.

  Those feet still haunted me.

  “It’s about time you assholes decided to join us!” Shane, the birthday boy, shouted, as he broke away his throng of adoring fans to give both of us a one-armed hug.

  “We’re less than 10 minutes late.” Evan chuckled and pushed him away.

  Shaking my head, I laughed myself before telling him, “Happy birthday, Shane.”

  “Thanks, man!”

  “Already starting with the harem
?” I teased him. Every time we all got together, we gave each other shit, but it was all in good fun.

  “I had to be sure I had some women. If I didn’t, all the girls would forget I existed as soon as you two jerks arrived. How many broken hearts did you leave out there on your way in?” Shane joked standing on his tiptoes to peek over our shoulders. Whereas Evan and I were both over six feet tall, Shane had not been blessed in the height department.

  Evan pushed him again, and Shane pretended to stumble backwards. “Plenty for all three of us out there still,” proclaimed my roommate.

  One of the girls I had noticed hanging around Shane, approached us slowly, her eyes roving up and down my body, lingering on my cock. Leaning over, she whispered in his ear, but her eyes remained locked on me.

  Shane snorted in amusement before making the introductions. “Angela, this asshole is Bryan. Bryan, this is the enchanting Angela.”

  Smirking, I narrowed my eyes and gave her body a once over like she had done to mine. I had already sized up each woman when I entered the party room, but if she chose to be blatant, I knew how to play that game as well. “Nice to meet you, Angela.”

  “The pleasure is all yours,” she replied, her full smile displaying her glistening white teeth with pink lipstick streaked across the front two.

  One thing about me, I was loyal to my friends. Evan and Shane both counted on me, and I counted on them. So a girl who wanted to jump from the guest of honor to one of his friends, I would play with her in order to teach her a lesson, but I would never close the deal.

  “I’m sure it is.” I grinned. This was going to be fun. My eyes darted to Shane, who still stood next to her, and then to Evan. A silent message was conveyed before I gave Angela my full attention again. “How do you know Shane?”