The Boy Is Back + Every Boy's Got One Bundle
Page 12
Nicole F
11:50 AM
Got it.
And Mom won’t get arrested, they sent Henry to keep an eye on her, and he promised to get her out of there if there’s trouble.
Anyway, send photos! Especially of the chandelier.
And if there are any squashed cats.
Becky F
11:50 AM
Nicole, that isn’t funny. The Stewarts are distinguished members of the community. There aren’t going to be any squashed cats, because they aren’t hoarders.
Although I have to say, I can see quite a few cats in the yard from here. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with that.
But oh, well. Talk to you later, and save some chicken for me.
Carly
11:22 AM
Hi, Reed, are we still on for our noon appointment?
Reed
11:22 AM
Yes, but I’m curious to know where we’re going. Your OB-GYN by any chance?
Carly
11:25 AM
No, why would I ask you to come with me to the gynecologist? I told you, we’re just doing boring legal stuff to do with your parents.
But first we should pick up lunch. I was going to get it from Shenanigans, but we can’t with the boycott going on there.
So instead we’re going to pick up a deli platter at Kroger. Sound OK?
Reed
11:25 AM
Okay, except that I had a big breakfast. And who brings a deli platter to a lawyer’s office?
Carly
11:26 AM
Oh, it just seems like the polite thing to do. Some people don’t get out much. What are you wearing?
Reed
11:27 AM
Carly Stewart, are you sexting me? I’m shocked!
Carly
11:27 AM
No, Reed, I am not “sexting” you. I just want you to look your best at this meeting.
Reed
11:28 AM
You business types are all the same. Actually I’m over at the range hitting balls, so I’m dressed down.
Carly
11:28 AM
Reed. There’s still snow on the ground.
Reed
11:28 AM
The range is always open. I guess I could zip over to Target and buy a tie. Would that help me pass muster with the legal eagles?
Carly
11:29 AM
Yes, a tie would be good.
Reed
11:29 AM
OK. Then I’ll meet you at your office after the tie has been secured.
Carly
11:29 AM
No, not the office. Marshall might be there.
Reed
11:29 AM
Oh, right. Are you avoiding Marshall, too?
Carly
11:30 AM
Well, let’s just say it’s better if Marshall doesn’t know about this meeting. You know how he is.
Meet me in the Kroger parking lot after you’ve bought a tie. I’ll have the deli platter, and then we can take my car to the meeting.
Reed
11:30 AM
This sounds like the weirdest meeting I’ve ever been to. But OK, the Kroger parking lot it is.
I kind of like all this sneaking around! It’s fun.
Carly
11:30 AM
I really hope you still feel that way when you see where we’re going.
Becky Flowers created chat “Reed Stewart”
Becky Flowers
12:17 PM
He’s here.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:17 PM
What? Who is where? You woke me up. It’s 1AM here.
Becky Flowers
12:17 PM
I’m sorry. I’m at his parents’ house. The sister-in-law didn’t tell me he was going to be here, but he’s here.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:18 PM
OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW
Becky Flowers
12:18 PM
For some reason there’s a deli platter.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:18 PM
Not that kind of stuff. About him. How does he look?
Becky Flowers
12:18 PM
Good. Too good. He’s taller than I remember.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:18 PM
He grew.
Becky Flowers
12:19 PM
No.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:19 PM
Becky, yes. You were teenagers when you last saw one another. He’s grown since then. You both have, in more ways than just physically, hopefully.
What else?
Becky Flowers
12:19 PM
He’s wearing a tie. Oh, God, why did he have to be wearing a tie?
Leeanne Matsumori
12:19 PM
More, please. How did he react when he saw you?
Becky Flowers
12:20 PM
Startled. I don’t think his sister-in-law told him I was going to be here.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:20 PM
Well, at least he didn’t run again. MORE PLEASE.
Becky Flowers
12:20 PM
I can’t tell you more. I’m in the bathroom. I excused myself because I was so freaked out. I needed a minute to collect myself.
Now I have to get back out there. His dad is telling me about his extensive hammer collection.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:20 PM
His what???
Becky Flowers
12:21 PM
Gavels. Sorry. They are judge’s gavels. I think. I don’t know. I’m so nervous. Why am I so nervous???
Leeanne Matsumori
12:21 PM
Because you haven’t seen the guy in ten years and before that you two were the hottest couple in Bloomville history?
Becky Flowers
12:21 PM
Leeanne. The house, though. You don’t even want to know.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:21 PM
Yes, I do. I really, really want to know.
Becky Flowers
12:21 PM
The word nightmare does not even begin to describe it.
The Stewarts are being so kind to me, though.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:21 PM
I don’t care about them. I want to know about Reed!
Becky Flowers
12:22 PM
Polite but distant. He’s eaten all the chicken salad from the deli platter.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:22 PM
Do not wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me about chicken salad.
I want to know about HIM HIM HIM.
Becky Flowers
12:22 PM
I don’t know what else to say! He seems dazed. He’s looking around the house like he doesn’t recognize anything in it . . . which could be true, he’s been gone a long time and his parents seem to have adopted some unusual habits in the past few years.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:22 PM
Drugs?
Becky Flowers
12:22 PM
Of course not. Collecting. A LOT. Look, I have to go back out there. They’re going to think I have food poisoning from the deli platter.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:23 PM
Well, now I’m up, so text me and tell me every detail as it happens.
Becky Flowers
12:23 PM
That would be weird and unprofessional.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:24 PM
Oh, because Chat Apping me from the bathroom isn’t.
Anyway, you can pretend like you’re taking notes.
Becky Flowers
12:24 PM
No. Don’t be silly. Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:24 PM
&nbs
p; I can’t believe this is happening without me. I’m coming home.
Becky Flowers
12:24 PM
What? Don’t be crazy.
Leeanne Matsumori
12:24 PM
I’m looking into flights right now.
Becky Flowers
12:24 PM
You’re insane. Goodbye, Leeanne.
From: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Date: March 15 12:30:39 PM EST
To: Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Subject: Your Parents
So remember how you made me swear on Blinky’s life not to contact Becky Flowers? Well, don’t be mad, but I had my fingers crossed.
Becky’s here at your parents’ house right now! And so is Reed!
But everything’s going great. Better than great, anyway. Your parents are behaving like perfect angels. For the first time in ages, your dad isn’t lecturing anyone about how the government should be spending our tax money to improve the infrastructure, and your mom hasn’t mentioned her cats once.
Your parents could not be on better behavior. It’s like no time at all has gone by since they last saw the two of them (and I’m not talking about the night Reed wrecked your dad’s golf cart, either).
Becky’s already told them that this house is much too big and drafty for them now that all the kids have moved out, and they’ve agreed.
She’s like magic!
Well, okay, your mom did try to use the defense that “the grandkids still come over in the summertime to use the pool.”
But Becky fenced with, “But that pool is much too expensive to maintain for a few visits a summer. Imagine if you had one in a smaller home that’s somewhere warm year round. The kids could come for Christmas and Spring Break. Their visits would be so much more special.”
Your mother seems to have fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.
I’m kind of sorry you’re not here to watch.
And I KNOW you told me to stay out of it.
But I thought it would be a good idea to have a neutral third party here when I sprang your brother on your dad (and your dad on Reed).
I didn’t think, given the amount of time that’s passed since “the incident,” that they’d snipe at one another in front of Becky.
And I was right (as I am about everything).
Because I arranged for us to arrive several minutes after Ms. Flowers (and carrying your dad’s favorite food—well, second favorite, after Shenanigans—a cold cut and spring salad party platter from Kroger), all your dad could do when he saw Reed was say, “Hello, son,” and give him a hug, which Reed returned (awkwardly).
It was heaven.
And unless I’m very, very wrong, there are some pretty heavy duty sparks flying between Becky and Reed. I’ve never seen any couple try to stay further apart than those two.
And you know what that means!
Anyway, I do think this was one of my better plans.
I’m not sure how you should reward me when I get home. I would say a full back massage to start with, and then of course, you’re going to make dinner. Your Fettuccine Alfredo is probably in order. Because today I have solved all the problems in the world!!!
You’re welcome.
XOXOXO
Carly
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Date: March 15 12:45:39 PM EST
To: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Subject: Re: Your Parents
If you think you’ve solved anything, you don’t know my family at all. All you’ve done is create a giant mess that I’m going to have to clean up, and lit the fuse to a bomb that’s going to blow in three . . . two . . . one . . .
From: Trimble Stewart-Antonelli@Stewart&Stewart.com
Date: March 15 12:56:29 PM EST
To: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com; Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com; Reed Stewart@reedstewart.com
Subject: Mom and Dad
Why did Daddy just call me from his study and say that you clowns have hired one of Reed’s exes to sell—or put into storage—all of Mommy’s and Daddy’s things?
This is NOT what we agreed on.
First, we don’t need anyone snooping into Mom’s and Dad’s affairs. This is a private family matter. We do not need some kind of “moving consultant” or whatever this Becky Flowers person is, poking around in our business at a time when they’ve already been through a traumatic experience and we need to be keeping a LOW PROFILE.
And second, most of those things are MINE. I already told you that I get the chandelier, stemware, and dining room furniture.
But there are other things in there that I want. I need to get in there to see, but I don’t have time at the moment. I’m extremely busy with the new restaurant and also a conflict Ty is having at school with a teacher.
Plus Tony is getting an award from the Kiwanis on Thursday night for all he’s done for the community—which I notice none of you have congratulated him for, even though I posted about it on our Facebook page.
So could you please stop? NOTHING in that home is to be removed, or I will pursue legal action. And as executor of Mom and Dad’s estate, I have every right to do so.
Trimble Stewart-Antonelli
Attorney at Law
Stewart & Stewart, LLC
1911 South Moore Pike
Bloomville, IN 47401
(812) 555-9721
www.stewart&stewart.com
From: Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Date: March 15 1:08:27 PM EST
To: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad
Now do you see what I mean?
From: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Date: March 15 1:11:27 PM EST
To: Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad
Oh, your sister can kiss my butt.
If she’s such a great estate executor, why has she never been over here to take care of your parents when they’ve fallen or needed the trash taken out or given a holiday dinner? She lives down the street, for pity’s sake, but hasn’t noticed that your mother has about twenty feral cats, all of which are relieving themselves on her precious formal dining room furniture?
And by the way, since we got here, I’ve observed that a family of raccoons has built a nest in a hole in the living room ceiling.
When I mentioned it to your mother, she said, quite cheerfully, “Oh, yes. That’s Ricky.”
How did you fail to see any of this when you were over here dealing with the trash?
Carly R. Stewart | Accountant | Stewart Realty | 801 South Moore Pike, Bloomville, IN 47401 | phone (812) 555-8722 | Please visit StewartRealty.com for all your realty needs
From: Marshall Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Date: March 15 1:15:16 PM EST
To: Carly Stewart@StewartRealty.com
Subject: Re: Mom and Dad
I was in the basement, remember?
I’ll deal with Trimble. Right after I call animal control.
Marshall
1:47 PM
I’m sorry, dude. I can’t believe Carly did this to you.
Reed
1:47 PM
It’s okay. I’m fine.
Marshall
1:47 PM
I know you’re only saying that to save face. I’m on my way. I’m coming to get you.
Reed
1:48 PM
I wouldn’t. Dad is more mad at you than he is at me, for a change.
Marshall
1:48 PM
What did *I* do?
Reed
1:48 PM
You listed his house for sale in today’s paper. He’s remarked on it several times already, and not in a positive manner.
Marshall
1:49 PM
Oh shoot I mean shot I mean, yeah, I forgot about that.
Well, I don’t care. I’m still coming. Carly shouldn’t have done this. She especially shouldn’t have sprung Becky on you like this.
Reed
1:49 PM
It’s okay. We’re fine. It was awkward at first, but I’m an adult now. I’ve traveled the world. I can have a polite conversation with an ex-girlfriend from high school.
Marshall
1:50 PM
Dude, no, you can’t. I’ve seen what that one looks like now, and no, you can’t. I get why you creep on her. I’m coming to get you.
Reed
1:50 PM
I don’t creep on her! And no, don’t, it would be awkward. And she’s making headway with Richard and Connie.