The Best Thing

by Zapata, Mariana

Was I going to tell him that I said I loved him? When he hadn’t said those words to me? When I didn’t even know what we were going to do in the near future with him leaving?

  But those words clung onto my tongue, staked through my heart.

  He cared about me. He got jealous. He was trying.

  And according to Grandpa, he loved me.

  So I had to try too if this—he—was what I wanted. And it was. There was no question there.

  “He tried to bring up a bunch of old shit, and I had to remind him that he hadn’t been my friend in a long time.” I paused, knowing this was a leap and taking it. “I told him that I didn’t feel the same way about him.”

  Jonah literally fucking grunted, and I could hear him breathing loudly over the line. It must have been at least a minute before he spoke up again. “What else did you tell him?”

  You snooze you lose, right? And I hated losing.

  So I went for it. Fuck it. “Well, I told him I was in love with your dumb ass.”

  I heard him exhale.

  And I definitely heard him when he said in a clear, clear voice, “Did you tell him that I love you back?” There was a pause. “Or that his time had passed, and that I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again?”

  I pressed my lips together as my eyes started to sting out of nowhere. “No. I didn’t tell him that.”

  His voice was a husky grumble. “You should have. Because it’s the truth. Because I love you and Mo so much, I’m going to make up the last seventeen months to you both, Len.” He paused. “If you’ll let me.”

  Chapter 20

  Subject: COME ON

  Lenny DeMaio:

  Wed 3/22/2019 1:29 p.m.

  to Jonah Collins

  Can you please fucking call me back?

  Text me back?

  Send me a fucking letter if you’re too much of a chicken to communicate with me: one on one?

  You need to know something.

  I’m not trying to get you to like me again, but I have to tell you something important

  If I would have been the kind of girl to keep a diary, I was sure every entry for the next three weeks of my life would have been something along the lines of TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

  And it wouldn’t have been an exaggeration.

  I couldn’t remember ever being so… happy. Not in a way that I was smiling or laughing all the time, that wasn’t me, but happy in the way that it was on the inside. Almost like wearing a life jacket even though I knew how to swim. I felt just… better than usual, and I had always been pretty good.

  I was still tired and didn’t want to kill people at the gym any less, but it was different.

  Jonah’s mom and sister had flown back to New Zealand right on the date that he’d told me, leaving me with a big hug from Natia and a pat on the back from his mom. She, of course, didn’t leave without a long, long look that might have made me uncomfortable if I wasn’t used to getting ugly looks from people and a question of, “You’ll bring Mo to visit?” that didn’t really feel like she was asking me but telling me.

  I promised that I would.

  Then I’d surprised the shit out of myself by inviting her to come visit whenever she wanted.

  Every ten years or so.

  I was just kidding.

  Kind of.

  No sooner had Jonah dropped them off at the airport, then he came knocking on the back door with his luggage duffel and a new rolling suitcase. Peter had let him in while I was busy flying Mo around the house. When I heard his voice in the kitchen, I kicked the door open and carried her in, belly down, her head up, fingers and toes wiggling in the diaper and shirt she was in.

  “Don’t be afraid; it’s just the flying incredible Mo,” I told them as I zoomed her around the island and flew her straight toward them.

  Peter laughed as I stopped her in midflight and asked her to give him a kiss—she did, and he gave her one back—and then said “Pssshew” and fake threw her at Jonah, who had his hands open and wide at chest level, taking her with an ease that made me smile. He grinned at me before brushing his lips across my own briefly. He lifted her up over his head, elbows nearly locking, her body inches from the ceiling as she shrieked, “Da!” with absolute fucking joy.

  “She loves me,” the big man gasped, grinning as he lowered her back down to earth and planted a kiss on each cheek.

  Ugh. They were too cute. It was sickening.

  And amazing.

  I couldn’t stop smiling as Jonah lifted her back up high toward the ceiling, lowered her back down to his chest level, and then asked me, “May I continue the tour of the house?”

  “Yup.”

  Off they went, with Jonah using his butt to push the door open and them disappearing through the house, with Mo laughing and giggling, back in airplane mode.

  An arm came over my shoulder, and I felt Peter’s kiss on the side of my head. I leaned against him before turning to him and raising my eyebrows, a smile stretching across my mouth.

  He wasn’t smiling, but I could tell he was happy. “Did you tell him?”

  I knew what he was asking. “Yes.”

  He nodded, and I felt the deep, deep breath he took.

  So I dug my knuckle into his rib and said, “Speaking of, when are you going to make an honest man out of my grandpa?”

  Peter laughed like he always did when I asked him that every six months.

  But we both knew the truth. If it ever happened, it wouldn’t be until they both retired and had nothing to do with MMA anymore. But despite keeping it a secret for so long, I understood the reason behind the sacrifices that they’d made to make what they had work. Especially for so long.

  And I guess, if they could make it work for so many years…. Well, if you tried hard enough, you could make anything work for that long.

  You just had to have some heart. And patience. And a whole lot of will.

  Luckily, I had all three.

  * * *

  Later that same night, on the night that started the best three weeks of my life, we were all hanging around the living room. Grandpa Gus and Peter were sitting on their love seat, Grandpa half reading a novel and Peter with his eyes glued to a television program about police officers in the Pacific Northwest. I was sitting on the couch with Mo tucked into my arm, over my chest since she’d just finished her bottle. I had Where the Wild Things Are opened on my lap as I read to her while she tried fighting falling asleep. Jonah was in the middle of the couch, his thigh pressed against mine, with one hand resting on my thigh, holding her foot in his palm.

  We’d had a nice, normal dinner like usual… except this time, Jonah wasn’t leaving.

  And I was feeling a little excited over it.

  Nervous too, but mostly excited.

  I had just finished flipping to the last page when Grandpa Gus let out an enormous yawn a second before he climbed up to his feet, palm going to his back with a groan, and said, “Well, I’m beat.” Grandpa made a face as he raised his arms overhead and gave them a stretch with another yawn. Something told me to expect whatever was about to come out of his mouth, so I wasn’t totally caught off-guard when he dropped his arms, focused in on Jonah, and asked, “Jonah, I’m gay. Is that going to be a problem?”

  Peter’s head immediately swiveled in my direction, and we made eye contact.

  Yeah, he’d gone there.

  And it was while I was processing that, that the man sitting beside me said, “You’re a bit older than what I’m usually interested in, but….”

  I was already snorting by the time Grandpa Gus shook his head and started walking out of the living room, calling out behind him, “You two deserve each other. Goodnight.”

  Even Peter had a grin on his face as he got up too, came over, gave Mo a kiss on the forehead, me one on the forehead too, hesitated for maybe a second, then planted one on Jonah’s forehead too before disappearing out of the room. “Love you guys.”

  “Love you too,” I called out after hi
m.

  Jonah and I both looked at each other the second we were alone. I smiled at him, and he smiled right back at me. “Are you tired?” I asked, leaning over to give Mo a kiss on her forehead too as I closed her book at the same time with my other hand. It was nine.

  “A bit,” he answered. “What’s your usual routine?”

  “I put Mo to bed, shower, watch some TV until I get sleepy… you?”

  “Call my nan or sister for a bit, then go to bed.” His gaze drifted down to the little girl resting against my boob. “Would you like me to put her in her crib?”

  I shook my head. “I’ll do it. Then I’ll go shower afterward. Make your call and go upstairs whenever you want.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I made a face at him as I started to get up as quietly and less bouncy as possible so that I wouldn’t wake up Mo. “I got it, Dimples. Tell your grandma I said hi. I’ve got some pictures on my phone of Little Mo Peep she might like, if you want to steal them.”

  Jonah’s hand reached for the back of my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. “I know you don’t need me, but call down if you do. I won’t be long.”

  His comment rode with me all the way up the stairs and while I put Mo down and got her all set up for the night with her sound machine and baby monitor. And I kept on thinking about it while I showered and then hung under the spray a minute longer than I needed to. I know you don’t need me….

  It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it still didn’t sit right with me. Actually, it bothered me a little. He hadn’t sounded mad or even a tiny upset or anything, but….

  In my room, I eyed the two new bags that had been moved in there at some point during the day. I hadn’t moved them in, and I couldn’t remember Jonah doing it either. I wondered if it had been Peter, and the idea made me smile as I went about moisturizing my face and legs.

  I took my time stretching; touching my toes, taking some deep breaths in and out, doing a few neck and shoulder exercises to loosen up. By the time I was done and Jonah still hadn’t come up, I climbed under the covers as I yawned and grabbed the novel about the firefighters that grandpa had been reading weeks ago. He had checked it back out for me. About three pages later, I heard creaking down the hallway that stopped for a couple of minutes and then got louder before a big body stopped in the doorway.

  Jonah was already smiling when his hands went to the doorframe, the sigh that came out of him so deep I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “What?”

  His dimples popped, and his voice was quiet as he said, “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to see you in bed like this again.”

  “I didn’t think you would either,” I told him honestly, then patted the half of the bed beside me. “Only if you want though. There’s the guest bedroom too, if you would rather—”

  He groaned. “The day I would rather sleep alone than with you….” His arms dropped from the doorway as he took a couple steps inside then paused. “Do you close your door?”

  I smiled. “Not unless I have a reason to.”

  Those honey-colored eyes settled on me, and I could see his cheeks puff in and out with the breaths he took. “Would you like me to close it?”

  Under the blankets, I scrunched my toes. “The day I tell you not to close it….”

  Jonah smiled shyly as he took two steps back and quietly closed the door, flipping the lock.

  “My nan says hello,” he said as he turned back, those big hands going to the bottom of his long-sleeved T-shirt.

  I was watching those hands as I said, “How are your grandparents?”

  The shirt was being tugged up, exposing an inch of tanned olive skin, and then another inch, and another…. “They’re well. She was telling me that Granddad hasn’t been feeling well, but he refuses to see his doctor.”

  The damn shirt went over his head, revealing that wide, naturally smooth chest that tapered to solid, flat abs. I’d asked him once if he shaved, and he’d laughed and shaken his head, claiming the only hair he could get to grow out was on his face. It’s a family curse, he’d claimed; apparently neither of his grandparents or his dad were hairy. And there was that narrow, trim waist….

  “Does anyone live close enough to go check on them?”

  His thumbs were flicking at the button and zipper of his jeans as he replied, “No. Not often enough. They live in Hawke’s Bay, it’s a bit south of Auckland.”

  I tore my eyes up to his face to find him still watching me, his smile somewhere between shy and smug. I groaned and earned a big smile with a hint of pink blossoming on his cheeks. “Hopefully you can go visit them sooner than later.”

  I meant it.

  The smile that had been on Jonah’s face mostly melted away as he stood there, fingers tucked over the loops of his jeans. “My agent has started talks with a couple of different teams to see if they even want me.”

  I couldn’t see anyone ever not wanting him.

  “Talks should go by fairly quickly. I should know in a matter of weeks where I’ll be playing… if I’ll be playing.”

  My heart ached, but I still offered him a smile. “You will. I don’t know how you played this last season after your injury, but you’ll go somewhere. I know it.”

  Jonah didn’t say anything for so long I almost thought that he changed his mind about bringing this up, but he moved toward me after a moment, half the skin of his beautiful body exposed as he settled in beside me, his butt against the side of my thigh, angled to face me. One of those hands came up to my face, and his thumb stroked across my chin. “Lenny, I—”

  We weren’t doing this. He wasn’t doing this.

  I turned my head and brushed my nose against the finger closest to my mouth. “Don’t say it, Dimples.”

  Those lips pursed, and his index finger moved across the eyebrow closest to him. “I don’t want to….”

  Yeah, the idea of him leaving hurt me too.

  But…

  He had to go. I would never ask him to stay. I reached up for his hand and dragged it over so I could press my lips against his palm.

  His hand went to my cheek, and those eyes met mine for a moment, unblinking and so serious, and then he was leaning over and that mouth was on mine. Jonah pulled my top lip into his mouth before releasing it and then sucking the other one. Then it was my turn; his lips parting under mine, and I didn’t hesitate to slip my tongue against his.

  His mouth was warm, and his lips were smooth as we brushed tongues. His hand slipped to the back of my loose, wet hair and held my head in place as he deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth even more. I moaned into him as he turned his head and kissed me the other way.

  When he pulled back a moment later, the tip of his nose brushing against mine, he asked, “Okay?” all I could do was nod.

  Then he kissed me some more, soft and slow and deep, brushing tongue and lips against my own. The hand on the back of my head moved to cup my nape, his other hand sliding over my lap to grip my hip over the covers that had fallen to my waist. Both of my hands were on his shoulders before sliding them over the soft skin of his upper arms, then back up and over the warm flesh spread tight over his shoulder blades.

  “I love your mouth,” Jonah whispered as he pulled back slightly, I could still feel his lips move. He kissed each of my cheeks, taking his time, moving down to do the same along my jaw. “Love kissing you. Looking at you. Touching you. Holding you,” he let me know between kisses.

  Something hard formed in my throat at his words, at his affection. When I had the chance, I caught his mouth again in another deep, deep kiss that made my skin tingle. It was while we were kissing that I let my hands drift down his pectorals, dragging my fingertips over the lean skin covering his abs, one hand brushing over his belly button, which had the faintest little trail of hair beneath it, leading down until I touched the band of what I knew was tiny boxer briefs.

  Jonah pulled his mouth away, sucking in a breath as I dipped my fingers under that elastic band, the backs of them brushing
even more warm, smooth skin.

  “Oh,” he gasped in a hoarse whisper a second before I felt the short, curly hair hidden in there.

  I snuck my hand in a little farther until I touched the base of his cock… and Jonah jumped. I met his eyes and smiled, stroking what I could reach of the thick root there. His big, thick cock twitched in his underwear at the same time a shudder worked its way through Jonah’s spine, earning me a hiss and a “Len!”

  I was grinning when his mouth covered mine again, and every other part of me was smiling as his body turned and moved toward me, over me as I scooted down in the bed to lay flat on my back. I felt the comforter over me get tossed to the side, the cool air hitting my bare legs for a moment before Jonah slipped a hand under my knee and moved it aside as he kneeled there, jeans open into a V, his boxer briefs lower than before, giving me a good view of the trail of hair leading from his belly button down to the treasure he had hidden.

  Jonah braced himself on his elbows as his lower body curled against mine… reminding me that I only had a big T-shirt and panties on. I hadn’t been able to find a clean sports bra and had been too lazy to go downstairs to look through the laundry room.

  A palm stroked the outside of my thigh over and over again, sliding up and up until he was cupping my ass cheek, kneading the muscle and skin there as his mouth opened over my neck and gave the skin there a soft suck.

  “Jonah.” I arched my back under him, my nipples brushing against his chest through my shirt, and Jonah moved to lick and then suck at the other side of my neck.

  His lips trailed further down as I wrapped my legs around his hips, loving the feel of his worn jeans on my bare inner thighs. A hand covered my breast, cupping it, as his mouth descended as well. Jonah sucked through the shirt, his tongue flicking over the hard nub.

  I wiggled under him, arching my back again as my hands went to his hips, sneaking under that waistband again until I had a hand full of his perfect ass cheeks, tugging him in toward me. Wanting him in.