Renegades

by Joanne Sexton

  Untangling their limbs, he sat up. He had absolutely no idea what to do next. Following his lead, she sat up, her eyes on him, but he couldn’t look at her.

  “I have an early start, training and stuff. I’ll, um, see you in the morning.”

  Before he changed his mind, he stood up so quickly his head spun. Without looking back, he went to his room. Now that he had privacy he slumped on the end of his bed, head in hands, trying to digest what happened. Lust, confusion, and something he could only guess to be growing love, filled his chest. A cold shower was what he needed, but this would mean having to go back out there and if he looked at her again, well, he would lose all self-control.

  He took long deep breaths and waited. Time ticked by, second after agonising second until he considered enough time had passed.

  Ryan poked his head out from behind the curtain to see she was facing the back of the couch. Like a coward he slinked past and went into the bathroom. He turned the cold tap on and pumped the handle until the water came. The cold water cleared his head. He withstood the water caressing his body until he couldn’t stand it any longer and started to shake.

  In control again, he crept back to his room. Mackenzie hadn’t moved and he assumed she slept. He climbed into bed with her pleasure-filled face tormenting him. He tossed and turned, his mind so full that slumber would prove difficult,

  Mackenzie ignored him as he snuck through, showered and skulked back to his room. What had she done wrong? She knew her innocence would be daunting for him. Obviously, he would have far more experience than her. Her inability to please him must have offended him, turned him away.

  For the first time ever, she wished she’d dated. At least then she would know what she should have done. Fury simmered below the surface as she thought about their exchange, and it threatened to burst out of control. He knew how innocent she was, yet he still sent her pleasure into overdrive and then ran away again.

  How dare he use her like that? Was she a plaything for him? Was it the thrill of using the sister of the man he thirsted for revenge against? Did he keep her here so he could play with her emotions? This could never happen again. Tomorrow she would demand he let her go.

  13

  New Start

  The aroma of coffee enticed her from slumber. Mackenzie opened eyes heavy from sleep to find Ryan perched on the table staring at her. Pancakes and syrup wafting towards her further tempted her awake.

  “Good morning,” he said, his face unreadable. It wasn’t indifferent this time, just inscrutable.

  “I want to go home.”

  One eyebrow rose and his lips twitched. “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”

  “Why, because you want to use me whenever you want?”

  “I’m not using you.” His brow creased. Questioning eyes stared into hers. She’d confused him.

  “Why can’t I go?”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  It was her turn to frown. “Why?”

  “Weren’t you here last night?”

  “Yes, this is why I want to go home.”

  His frown deepened before he lent forward to touch her hair.

  Why is he touching me? Why is he torturing me?

  “Don’t touch me,” she said, shoving his hand away. “Ever again.”

  “I’m sorry about last night …”

  “I worked that out already.” She stood with such abruptness, she nearly knocked her breakfast off the table.

  “Wait.”

  She glared at him.

  “Please.”

  Mackenzie sat down. What could he possibly have to say?

  “I’m sorry I left so abruptly. I’m not sorry about what happened. This is really hard for me.”

  “It’s worse for me. I’m so inexperienced.” Blood rose in her cheeks. She cursed her body for betraying her.

  “So am I.”

  “What?” Now her frown deepened. What was he talking about?

  “When I kissed you, it was my first time too.”

  “Don’t patronise me.”

  “I’m not, it’s the truth. After my family were killed, my life changed and all I’ve been doing since then is fighting. There’s been no time for any sort of relationship, well, casual ones if I wanted it, but I didn’t or don’t. From the moment we met, although I hated who you were, I knew you were different. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind.”

  “So you’ve never done anything before, like me?”

  “No, everything between us is a first for me too.”

  To say Mackenzie was shocked would be an understatement. Was he toying with her?

  “How did you …”

  “Last night?”

  She nodded.

  “I followed my instincts, my desire.” Overcome, she stood and he followed suit. “It frightens the hell out of me, but I’m falling in love with you. I’m scared to trust you, to love you. I know it’s crazy, I know nothing about you. Please don’t leave. I told you, I’m not very good at this stuff.”

  Standing on tiptoe, she cupped his face and brought it down to meet hers before pulling back to gaze into his eyes. “I don’t want to leave. I want to be here, with you,” she whispered.

  His fervour brought her into his embrace. She pressed against his hard body, and captured his mouth. His kiss, full of passion, awoke an ache deep inside that only he could fulfil. He left her mouth to trace kisses along her jaw and nibble affectionately on her ear.

  “Would you like to freshen up and go outside with me?” he murmured in her ear.

  His warm breath sent shivers down her spine. “Yes.”

  Serious eyes met hers, his expression unfathomable. “If you are going to stay, then I want you to be able to defend yourself.”

  “I want to stay. I don’t want to go back to my old life.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  He didn’t look convinced.

  “I’m serious about this, Ryan. I want you to remove my BIT.”

  “What? No.”

  “If I’m going to stay here and be a part of all this, then I want to commit fully.”

  “You don’t know what you’re saying. There is no way I want you to go through that.”

  “How else do I prove to you that I want this?”

  “Not like that. You don’t have to prove anything to me. I trust you. God knows I shouldn’t, but I do.”

  A full genuine smile, the first one she’d seen, lit up his face, and added a twinkle to his beautiful blue eyes.

  “You can trust me. I feel the same way you do.”

  “Good, now go and shower so we can get started on your training.”

  He released her and disappeared into his room and returned with fresh clothes.

  “Do you want to go home and get your own clothes?” He asked as he passed her his sister’s clothes.

  “Yes, I would, but how?”

  “I’ll take you tonight.”

  “Thanks, then I can tell my family.”

  “Go and get ready, so we can get started.”

  She trotted off to shower, excited about her new start with Ryan.

  He followed her with his gaze as she rushed to shower and change. A happy smile filled his face, and for the first time in a long time he felt positive about the future. After a restless night sleep, he woke tired, but determined to take a chance.

  Mackenzie was just as inexperienced as him, innocent and trustworthy. She had let him in from the moment she’d arrived, no barriers, no hate and then last night … he wanted her in his life.

  The thought of her leaving filled him with dread. So if she was going to stay, she would need to learn how to use a weapon and defend herself. Cody and his troops could come for her. They needed to be prepared.

  14

  Training

  The sun shone bright over the desert creating a shimmer across the barren plain. Dressed in a t-shirt and loose comfortable shorts, Mackenzie enjoyed the warmth on her face. Ryan wore his
usual attire of black cargo pants, but today wore only a t-shirt. His shoulders and chest were so broad Mackenzie wondered how she hadn’t noticed his hard body during their previous explorations.

  Her cheeks flushed; she’d been a little preoccupied to notice. In the daylight his face appeared chiselled, and his hair shone blue-black. Her breath caught as she gazed at his handsome face. She underestimated his appearance in the dim light below ground.

  “Are you listening, Mackenzie?”

  “What?”

  She was aware he’d been speaking to her, but his words floated past her as she took him in. His eyes narrowed before he broke into a wide grin.

  “You’re staring.”

  “Sorry,” she said. Her cheeks burned harder.

  “You look pretty in the sunlight too,” he said. “Your hair is redder than I thought.”

  “Ryan …” Mackenzie stepped towards him and ran a finger over the scar at his jaw.

  “I know.” His hand swept over her hair before he dropped it and stepped back. “You need to concentrate.”

  “I will. I’m sorry.”

  Turning on his heels, he walked towards the shed, unlocked it and disappeared inside. Mackenzie waited for him to emerge, her apprehension and excitement returning. She’d never held a weapon before, so the thought of shooting one both thrilled and scared her. Was she crazy to be staying and fighting against the government? This thought passed over as swiftly as it surfaced.

  For the first time in her life, she felt she was doing something right, something worthwhile. For far too long she lived in fear, endured an unexciting, controlled existence. Regardless of the implications of combating her own flesh and blood, determination to fight for a just cause rose within her.

  “Why haven’t the GAP broken through your defences? The fence seems old and hardly sufficient to hold off the troops,” she asked as he exited the shed carrying a target.

  “We have often wondered this too. The fence is electrified and although secure could be breached if they tried hard enough. It’s only recently they’ve tested the fence to find weaknesses. I’m surprised and concerned by their sudden interest in trying to penetrate our defences. We’ve been down here for a long time and for the most part they’ve stayed away. They usually only attack us when we go above and into citizen territory. If they were to disarm the fence, without us being able to stop them, and then break through with an army and attack us underground, it could be devastating. We hope it doesn’t come to that. They haven’t been back to test it out since we stopped a couple of troops the other night.”

  “How do you stop them?”

  “See those mounds there?” He pointed to four mounds Mackenzie hadn’t noticed before surrounding the shed. She nodded. “They are our lookout bunkers. No one approaches without us seeing.”

  He returned to the shed and re-emerged carrying several guns. She followed him as he walked around to the other side of the building. He strode towards the perimeter fence and secured the target to a wooden structure nearby.

  Nerves caused her hands to shake. A flush swept through her face again. She felt a sudden shyness. She cared what he thought. Mackenzie wanted to impress him.

  When he came to stand in front of her, her eyes lowered to stare at the ground. She could feel his intense gaze, but couldn’t lift her eyes. He would think her a fool.

  “Mackenzie, what is it?” The tender tone to his voice surprised her.

  “I’ve never shot a weapon before.”

  “I anticipated that, which is why I choose a small, lightweight weapon for you.”

  This didn’t ease her nerves or her fear of his disapproval. His fingers lifted her chin with an unexpected gentleness.

  “Why are you blushing?”

  “I care what you think. I’m probably going to be terrible at this. My hand-eye co-ordination kind of sucks.”

  His deep, husky laugh sent more blood to her cheeks. Heat shot through her straight to the pit of her stomach, where desire also lived.

  “That is exactly what I’m afraid you’ll do. I’m so inexperienced at everything.”

  A small smile still tugged at his lips as he spoke, “I like you that way.”

  “You say that now. You might not when you see how awful I am.”

  “Does it matter what I think?” She nodded. “Mackenzie, I won’t judge you. I’m glad you’ve never been exposed to what I have, but you need to be able to protect yourself if you’re going to stay here.”

  “I want to stay.”

  “Then I will teach you. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  Ryan held a small gun out to her handle first. When she took it the weight surprised her. He told her it would be light, but it wasn’t what she expected.

  “Why do you use such old weapons?”

  “It isn’t by choice.”

  She stared at him, waiting.

  He sighed. “When the war first started we had little weaponry at all. The only way to obtain any was the same way we get anything. We tried to rob a shipment of laser guns, but they were heavily guarded and we lost men. The laser weapons are the GAP’s advantage over us and there’s no way they will allow us to get our hands on them. We decided not to risk it again, so we salvaged what we could from old storage plants.”

  “So I guess that’s the reason why most of your equipment is old, because anything technically advanced is well guarded.”

  “Yes, we can get some things, but not much. Now, are you ready? We should get started.”

  She nodded.

  “Okay, hold the weapon with both hands like this.”

  Coming to stand behind her, he moved her hands to hold the gun in a two-handed grip, one hand on the grip, and the other as a steadier around the other.

  “Don’t put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to fire. Now hold your arms straight, but don’t lock your elbows.”

  His hands ran along her arms sending a shiver up her spine. If he insisted on touching her she wouldn’t be able to concentrate. She wanted him to kiss her again, not show her how to shoot a weapon.

  “Drop the weapon lower than your intended target because of kick back, like this.”

  He shifted to stand close beside her, his shoulder touching hers and lowered her arms to aim below the centre of the target.

  “Now ease your finger on the trigger, don’t pull it hard.”

  Following his instructions, she fired and as Ryan anticipated, the force sent her shot higher than intended, but she did hit the target above the circle on the white border. Even though she didn’t hit the intended spot, Mackenzie was pleased she didn’t miss altogether.

  “Not bad for your first attempt,” Ryan said softly in her ear.

  This sent another shot of electricity through her body to her toes. In order to focus, she needed to kiss him now; he was far too distracting.

  “Not bad,” she said in mock derision. She bent and placed the weapon on the ground.

  “What are you doing? You need to practice …”

  She silenced him by placing her lips on his. Throwing her arms around his neck, she stepped in closer. His mouth opened to receive her and his arms encircled her waist. He walked her back a few steps until they were flush against the shed. His tongue sought hers hungrily as his hands trailed up her back to wind through her hair before returning down again. Endless minutes passed as their passion kept their bodies and mouths entwined.

  “Mackenzie,” Ryan mumbled between tender kisses, “we should be careful while above ground, it isn’t safe.”

  “Then why are we up here?” she asked as she returned his kisses.

  “So you can learn to defend yourself.”

  “But you said it isn’t safe.”

  “Not when I’m concentrating on you rather than my surroundings, it isn’t.” He smiled.

  “Oh.” She returned his smile.

  With reluctance, she tore herself from him, retrieved her weapon, ready to resume her training.

  �
�Do the others come up during the day at all?” she asked after firing several rounds, which were now hitting the outer rim of the circle.

  “Yes, we come up to train.”

  “What about the others, the ones who don’t need to train, like the women and children?”

  “Once a week we all come to the surface and we stand guard so they can be outside for a while.”

  “That’s just awful, being forced to live like this.”

  “I know. Why do you think we keep going? Even if we were to lay down our arms, it would do no good. Anyone associated with the rebels will be imprisoned or killed.”

  “What about the children?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know, locked up with their mothers, I guess.”

  This thought made fury rise in Mackenzie. How could Cody condone this? How could the government force this onto people? There must be something she could do.

  “I’ll go and talk to Cody.”

  “Do you think he would listen?” His sceptical expression answered his own question.

  “I don’t know.”

  “What would you say, Mackenzie?”

  “That, I also don’t know. You’re right, what could he do anyway? He’s only one person working for the government. I just think this is senseless. All these lives ruined and at stake. The heartache and bloodshed … I just don’t understand how he can …”

  “I don’t understand it either.” He ran a fingertip across her cheek and pushed her hair behind her ear. “But this is the way it is and while government continues to control, we continue to fight. You don’t need to understand it, just believe in it. Now we should get you practising again, okay?”

  She nodded.

  By the end of the day Mackenzie managed to hit the target more times than not. Once she grasped the feel of the gun, where to position her hands and what pressure to apply to the trigger, she rarely missed hitting some part of the circle.

  As Ryan went to retrieve the target from the board, Mackenzie grabbed his arm.

  “Let’s see how you do,” she teased.

  He furrowed his brow and appeared to think about it for a moment.