Complicated

by Kristen Ashley

  “She’s here. She’s fine and she’s here.”

  She wasn’t fine. She was bawling and asking to live with her dad but at least she was safe and healthy and the people who needed to know where she was knew where she was.

  “She’s there, honey. She’s at your dad’s,” I heard Hope say, probably to Corinne, her relief running so deep, it dribbled out of the phone into my ear.

  I drew in a breath.

  “I’ll . . . I-I’ll . . .” Hope started but said no more.

  Okay, crisis over and I had Hix’s ex on the phone.

  Now what?

  “I, um . . . why don’t I get him to call you after he calms her down?” I suggested.

  Wrong thing to say.

  “Calms her down?” Hope asked.

  “Well, she’s wound up about something, and Hix was intent on you knowing she was safe so he just gave me his phone and I gave them privacy and came into the kitchen to call you.”

  “You’re in Hix’s kitchen at seven thirty on a Sunday morning?”

  Without thinking, I looked around Hix’s kickass kitchen that beat even my awesome kitchen by a mile.

  First, it was bigger. It also had a showstopper recessed ceiling over the island that had been set in old, tamped tin. There was a copper hood over the stove. The many cupboards had different finishes, a mix of cream, distressed green and dark wood. The upper cabinets that had windows also had arched panes that were amazing. Further, there was a copper sink that had a faucet that looked kind of like an old-fashioned well pump. The floors were immaculately refinished wood. And the pièce de résistance was a recessed pantry that had latticework screen doors covering it that I’d give my eyeteeth for.

  It was sublime.

  The minute I saw it (and his porch, which was also a lot like mine, but wider and longer and it had a porch swing) I totally hoped the people who owned it adored Florida and never stepped foot in Nebraska again.

  What it also had was a drawer microwave in the island in the middle, that microwave was the only thing in the room currently that had a clock on it that was programmed and I couldn’t see it from where I stood so I had no idea what time it was.

  But seven thirty sounded about right.

  That said, in all that was happening, I had no idea why Hope would ask that question.

  Then it hit me, and I might know why, but I still didn’t.

  I walked to the island and put my hand to it, saying, “Hope, why don’t you let—?”

  “My son is in that house,” she declared.

  “I’ll get Hix to—”

  “Unless he’s at a sleepover. Is he at a sleepover?”

  “Hope, please, if you’d let me—”

  “I cannot fucking believe you,” she hissed, her voice lowered like she was hiding what she was saying, likely from Corinne. “I cannot fucking believe him. But you, you’re a woman. People say you raised that brother of yours. You know better.”

  “I—”

  I said no more that time because the phone was no longer to my ear.

  I whirled around and watched Hix put it to his.

  He had his thermal on.

  And he had a face filled with thunder.

  Oh man.

  “I asked Greta to phone you and tell you Mamie’s okay and I can only guess why that conversation lasted longer than it needed to but I’m too pissed to get into that now. Mamie’s here. Mamie’s fine. She’s upset and she needs some time,” he declared into the phone and kept right on talking. “I’ll call you when it’s cool for you to come and get her. But before that, my girl, her brother and I need to have a chat. Then I’ll need to have a chat with you. But I’ll let you know when we’re ready for you to come and do that.”

  He listened for a second. I watched him do it and his face didn’t clear while he did.

  Crap.

  “No, you won’t come now. I told you, I’d call you . . .” he trailed off, his eyes flashed, he scored them through me and I felt my own eyes get big at the fiery look in his. I bit my lip and he clipped into the phone, “Listen to me, Hope. She’s done with your shit and she wants to move in with me. I do not think that’s right. And all our kids have got to get where we’re all at and get on the path to movin’ on. Now she’s at an age she needs her mother. But if you keep fuckin’ with me and shovelin’ your shit my way, I swear to fuck, I’ll file for full custody of all of them and I’ll use every goddamn dollar you wanted me to use for that fucking ring you wanted so damned bad to get them. Are you hearing me?”

  He didn’t listen for very long before he continued.

  “We’re not talkin’ about that fucked-up shit now, Hope, and far’s I’m concerned, we’re not talkin’ about it ever. Yes, I know. I’ve known for a while. It’s done. I’ve moved on. You need to pull your head outta your ass and move on too. Now, I’ll phone when we’re ready for you.” He took in a sharp breath and finished, “Later.”

  With that, he rang off and stood there, completely still, staring at his phone like it was taking a superhuman effort not to hurtle it across the room.

  “Baby,” I whispered.

  His eyes cut up to my face.

  “Is she okay?” I asked.

  “Hope?” he asked incredulously.

  “Mamie,” I answered.

  He no longer looked incredulous but still, his mouth got tight before he said, “She knows about her mom wanting that ring. She hears her mom bitchin’ to her friends about me. About you. Talkin’ trash about you and Lou and Bill, Lou havin’ a foul mouth and Bill bein’ a drunk and both of them bein’ bad influences she doesn’t want around her kids. And about me movin’ into this house, sayin’ I did it because it’s close to you. And she’s done with her shit. She misses what we had. She’s too young to understand all that’s going on. It’s too much for her. And it’s simpler with me. It’s more peaceful. It’s not ugly. It’s not negative and pissed off and bitchy. And she can’t wrap her head around that ring. So she’s pissed and she’s hurt and the hurt is makin’ her more pissed. So no. She’s not okay.”

  “Okay,” I said softly, moving into him.

  He didn’t hesitate to slide an arm around me, so I did the same to him with both of mine.

  “I gotta get back to her and I also gotta wake up Shaw,” he told me.

  I nodded. “I’ll go get Andy and we’ll do something else—”

  “No you won’t.”

  I stared up at him.

  “Will he freak, comin’ here, bein’ involved in a drama?” he asked.

  “Um, did you block out the two times you met my mom?”

  He stared at me back then his lips twitched and I felt some of the tension ebb from his body.

  “If we need privacy, you guys can go somewhere, unpack some shit, sit on the porch, go out and get some food, whatever excuse you gotta make to make it cool with Andy,” he said. “But with all the shit that just went down, I did not forget what happened in my bed right before it did so you’re a part of this now, Greta. So is Andy. That means you need to swing with this. If he’s got it in him and it doesn’t harm him, he needs to swing with it. And my kids need to see that you and him aren’t going anywhere.”

  “Oh crap, you’re gonna make me cry again,” I warned, pressing closer to him.

  His hold tightened on me and he murmured, “We got even less time for that shit now.”

  “Right, yeah, of course,” I muttered, drawing in breath to pull myself together.

  “She’s gonna start her period soon.”

  I stopped pulling myself together as I felt my head twitch at his comment.

  “Sorry?” I asked.

  “Corinne started at her age. She’s gonna start developing. She’ll need to go out and buy bras and shit. I can deal with that. You’re around, you can help me deal with that. Corinne can help her deal with that. But she should do that with her mother.”

  I slid a hand around to press it to his chest and agreed, “Yeah.”

  “Hope needs to get h
er head out of her ass.”

  I nodded and repeated, “Yes.”

  He held my eyes for long moments before he blew out a breath.

  Then he stated, “I promised Andy I’d go with you to get him. I need to get Shaw up, have a word with him so he’s with the program then talk to him and Mamie, and then we’ll head out.”

  “I can go get Andy while you look after your kids, Hix.”

  “I promised him I’d come with you.”

  “He’ll understand.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not breaking the first promise I made to your brother, Greta. Big shit is happening here but that’s important. I need him to know he can trust me and through that he can trust me with you, and I don’t know how he processes things. Something little you think he’ll understand might mean more to him than either of us know so I gotta handle that with care. It’s forty minutes. You and Andy and Shaw can go out and grab donuts when we get back while I look after Mamie and we’ll take it from there.”

  I was totally not listening.

  I was stuck on, I’m not breaking the first promise I made to your brother, Greta. With a little bit of dealing with, Something little you think he’ll understand might mean more to him than either of us know so I gotta handle that with care.

  So he had to give me a little shake and ask, “Greta, babe, you with me?”

  I nodded.

  Because I absolutely was.

  More than he knew and I suspected he knew I was definitely with him.

  He nodded back and ordered, “You get a quick shower while I deal with my kids. Then call Andy and let him know we’ll be there soon and give him whatever heads up you gotta give him so he knows what he’s walking into. I’ll shower while you do whatever else you gotta do and then we’ll go. We got a plan?”

  “We have a plan,” I said quietly.

  “Good,” he muttered, bent to me, touched his mouth to mine and then moved us directly out of the kitchen.

  I broke plan just a hint by checking in with Mamie, giving her a hug, assuring her it was all right and I wasn’t mad she freaked her dad and me out, and then promising donuts were coming soon.

  The last part didn’t work as well as I’d hoped but it did get me a sliver of a smile.

  After that, I went about instituting our plan.

  It was in his shower, Hix’s words hit me.

  But with all the shit that just went down, I did not forget what happened in my bed right before it did so you’re a part of this now, Greta. So is Andy. That means you need to swing with this. If he’s got it in him and it doesn’t harm him, he needs to swing with it. And my kids need to see that you and him aren’t going anywhere.

  I was worried about Mamie.

  I was worried for Hix because he had a lot on his plate.

  But for the life of me, as I showered, I couldn’t stop smiling.

  Yup

  Greta

  IT WAS LATE Sunday morning and we were hanging out on Hixon’s furniture in his living room, watching TV.

  Not surprisingly, considering his gender, Hix had shared with me he’d ordered the cable to be installed first thing after signing the rental agreement. So the guy had come to do it while he was moving in the day before.

  In other words, we were watching the pre-game shows in clean, clear HD with the decimated remains of the plethora of donuts Shaw, Andy and I had gone out to get all over the coffee table.

  I’d found the day before that Hix had a storage unit and his friends had emptied that as well as his apartment.

  It included an old, beat-up desk that Hix had put down in the basement in a room that was just cement floor and unfinished walls that was meant for storage. But he put the desk there with the addition of boxes of his stuff from the unit (these being boxes of stuff from his life with Hope and before). Framed pictures of him and cop buddies, team pictures of him with his friends in baseball uniforms, old trophies, yearbooks and the like. This room was obviously going to be his man cave.

  The stuff in the unit also included a big loveseat that matched his furniture, two big ottomans, one double-wide, to go in front of the loveseat and armchair, and another end table that hadn’t fit in his apartment.

  Upon seeing this the day before, it had given me pause for reflection because it stated, when Hix had outfitted his apartment, he’d done it with a mind to his future. If he was convinced he could fix things with Hope, he wouldn’t have needed all that furniture for the house he’d eventually be setting up for his kids, because it certainly didn’t fit in his apartment and it was the kind of furniture that didn’t come cheap in a set.

  With this in mind, I wasn’t sure Hix thought there was something to save in his marriage before he even gave up trying to save it.

  This was a conversation for another time and that morning was not that time and not simply because everyone was on tenterhooks waiting for Hope to show and pick up Mamie.

  No, it wasn’t that time because I was pissed and getting even more pissed.

  By, like, a lot.

  This was because I’d had time since the drama occurred with Mamie leaving her mom’s house very early in the morning and walking two miles to get to her dad.

  It wasn’t that far in the grand scheme of things and it probably didn’t take long.

  What it did was veritably scream her desperation to get away from her mother so she could get to her father.

  And Hope had created that. Hope had done it not only from the beginning, divorcing a man like Hix, a father like Hix, for a stupid, fucking ring, but also behaving like a bitch and not having the motherly chops to hide it from her daughters.

  However, it was more.

  Much more.

  Since I called Andy and shared what I could share so he’d know what he was walking into, I was able to think (and Andy was sweet as pie, he just felt bad for Mamie, Shaw and Hix and said, “I don’t have to come today if you think it wouldn’t be good, Ta-Ta,” to which I was happy I could reply, “Hix wants you with us, buddy.”)

  I was able to think about what I’d walked into the day before after I got done with my last client. Seeing Hix’s house for the first time, being in it, seeing the big rooms and the fantastic wood floors and the great fireplace and the fabulous kitchen. Seeing how his furniture fit in it, it wasn’t cramped and way too nice for the space. There were boxes around, and when I showed, they were in the middle of moving furniture in the living room this way and that to see where they’d settle it, but it still already looked like a home.

  It was also seeing Hix with his buds but more feeling it.

  I knew Donna and I dug Donna. She was a tell-it-like-it-is woman who was hilarious. I’d liked her from the first time she sat in my chair at the salon. But I’d met his other friends and they were great. They talked and they gave shit and they worked hard, all for their friend because they were good friends but also because it was a good day.

  A happy day.

  A new beginning that held promise because a person they cared about was setting the crap life had hit him with behind him and moving on.

  There was a weird vibe with Hix’s deputy Hal I didn’t get, but he was nice and he worked as hard as the rest without complaint.

  He also hung with his wife, Ashlee (one of Lou’s clients, a sweet lady, though she had a strange sadness about her all the time that I’d always wondered about) and all of us for pizza and beer when all the big work was done.

  We’d joked and laughed and chatted and shared stories, and it was clear they all loved Shaw to death and the same with Hix.

  It felt good being around them. It felt good being a part of this new beginning that had such hope. It felt good that there was no tension, no worried looks, no caution, just friends hanging together after helping out a bud. It felt good being in that great house, the kind of house that Hix belonged in, where he could give his kids what he wanted them to have.

  It felt real and natural and mellow and they’d all been welcoming to me at first, but that
had melted into a feel like it wasn’t the first time I met Larry and Tommy and Toast and Herb and Hal, but like I’d known them ages.

  It had been awesome.

  And part of that awesome was knowing that Hix was going to be taking the afternoon off on Monday because his girls’ bunkbeds, dressers and desks were going to show, the sectional for the basement was as well, since he’d already bought them. I also knew that when the girls came back Monday night, they were going as a family to J&K’s Electrics to buy a TV for downstairs. The girls had already bought new sheets and comforters for their beds, they got them online and they were in big boxes in their room, ready for the furniture to arrive (except the sheets, I put them in the washer to prepare for the girls’ arrival the next day).

  So it was all happening. They were all settling.

  Sure, Hix needed some rugs and some stools for the island in the kitchen and things up on his walls. And he hadn’t lied. He might have bought furniture and towels but he didn’t go whole hog on anything else, had the bare minimum for his kitchen, so unpacking boxes didn’t take hours.

  But they were there, and all that would come whenever it came and it didn’t matter when that would be.

  They had the important stuff.

  And another part of that awesome was knowing that Andy would be there that next day, as would I, sharing Junk Sunday with Hix and Shaw.

  And the reason I was pissed, and getting more pissed, was the fact that, although that day had started great for Hix and me, Hope had screwed it all up.

  She’d screwed everything up.

  Hix and Shaw couldn’t enjoy their first day in their new house kicking back, watching football, relaxing and eating a lot of garbage.

  No, because Hope’s crap had leaked in in the form of a desperate, sad, angry, sobbing young girl, who should be feeling none of those things, and they’d all been given no choice but to deal.

  It didn’t surprise me that it was Andy who kept the vibe as sweet and smooth as it could be. Mamie was withdrawn. Shaw was showing signs he might be even more pissed than his dad. And Hix was trying to hide it, but I could feel the struggle he was having in controlling his anger and frustration.