Walking Back to Happiness

by Anne Bennett

  Of course, he thought, it was all Hannah’s fault the child was the way she was. Despite all he tried to do to prevent Angela being contaminated by Hannah, Angela had obviously inherited her bad blood. Thank God, he’d been able to forbid any contact between them. At least Angela didn’t see her mother openly living with another man. True, he’d obtained a divorce, but he’d done it only to bring shame to her and also so that others, his work colleagues and in particular the Banks, would see him as the wronged party.

  It had worked too, for although Elizabeth and Reg Banks had been shocked, or horrified would be more the word, their sympathies had been all for Arthur. ‘I never thought, never for a minute, that Hannah would do such a thing,’ Elizabeth had said, her face slightly pink with embarrassment at the news Arthur had brought. ‘She said she was actually expecting the man’s baby?’ she asked incredulously.

  ‘She did and she wasn’t at all ashamed.’

  ‘Poor Arthur. And you were always such a devoted husband to her.’

  ‘Poor Arthur’ shrugged and chose not to tell the Banks about how he’d punched his young wife almost senseless and then raped her on the floor. ‘That’s life,’ he said.

  ‘Damned life that is,’ Reg said. ‘Good God man, you gave her everything, lovely home, even help in the house for years which was more than Elizabeth had in the early days. Didn’t she even think of that lovely child of yours?’

  ‘No,’ Arthur said. ‘To be truthful, Hannah’s never been that keen on Angela. That’s why I always did so much with the child. I mean, I never said anything, for that’s just the way Hannah was, but she’s quite willing to throw her aside now. Actually, she doesn’t want anything to do with her anymore.’

  ‘Never!’ Elizabeth had never heard anything like it. To renege on her wedding vows and to leave Arthur was bad enough, but that did happen. Regrettably, that’s how life was today, but to not just leave your child, but abandon her totally, was unheard of. It wasn’t normal. And Elizabeth wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Angela wasn’t seriously disturbed in some way by it.

  As the years passed and news of Angela’s near expulsion from the school in Leeds filtered through to the Banks and later when they heard Arthur had been asked to remove Angela from the second school too, Elizabeth laid the blame for the girl’s behaviour totally on her mother’s head.

  ‘It might have been worse if she’d stayed,’ Reg said. ‘Bad example and all that.’

  ‘There is that,’ Elizabeth agreed. ‘Poor Arthur. But he had no option but to divorce her.’

  But Arthur didn’t agree with divorce really. He followed the Church’s ruling on that and considered himself still married to Hannah. He’d spoken to Father Fitzgerald about it.

  He had made the Church’s position clear. Hannah was living in sin, neither the divorce nor the civil marriage ceremony were recognised and therefore the baby she was expecting was illegitimate. Arthur felt justified in protecting Angela from such wickedness.

  It was one day in late June when Vic came home from the hospital, where he’d been visiting a patient, with news for Hannah. He wasn’t sure how she’d react to it, so he said nothing until the children were in bed.

  Then, as she went to turn on the television for Billy Cotton’s Band Show, he said, ‘Could you leave that a minute, Hannah, I need to talk to you.’

  This wasn’t news for Hannah. She knew Vic had something on his mind and knew, too, he would tell her about it in his own time and she turned to him with a smile. ‘Go on then.’ And so he told her and he watched as her eyes widened in disbelief and her jaw dropped open.

  She shook her head from side to side. ‘I … I just can’t believe it.’

  ‘I assure you, Colin was quite adamant. He’d hardly lie about such a thing.’

  ‘No,’ Hannah said, for Colin Ferguson, who she’d not met until the night of the housewarming party, was now a fairly regular visitor. Hannah liked him very much and knew him to be trustworthy and yet she said, ‘But he hardly knows Arthur. I mean, he doesn’t really know what he looks like.’

  ‘Yes, but he does,’ Vic said earnestly. ‘After the house-warming party, Phil and Josie drove him back home because he was without a car if you remember. They saw Arthur then, going down the steps of a house in Pershore Road – a shabby place by all accounts. Josie pointed him out to Colin and he took a good look then. That would have probably been that, except that he kept on seeing him after that, and always in the same place. He told me a little while ago, but never mentioned it to you and asked me not to in case you’d be upset. I said I didn’t think you would, but there you are. Colin is quite an old-fashioned man in some ways. He must have been shaken by the last development.’

  ‘You’re telling me a man died of a heart attack lying naked and tied to a bed and Arthur was tied up in a similar way in another room?’

  ‘That’s what Colin found when he went there in response to a frantic and anonymous phone call. Even worse, the man that died was a Member of Parliament. The house had emptied, of course, and Colin untied Arthur without letting on that he knew him or anything and he disappeared before the police arrived. Arthur tried to give Colin money, but of course he didn’t take it. He just told him to clear off and fast. The police told Colin they’ve had their eye on the house for some time.’

  ‘Why are the police so interested?’

  ‘Hannah, the things they get up to are against the law,’ Vic said. ‘It’s for people with twisted minds who like being tied up, whipped and tortured and performing all manner of perverted and unnatural sexual acts. You remember how you said once that Arthur was aroused by violence?’

  ‘Yes,’ Hannah said, ‘but that was him inflicting it on me, though I must admit, I never took a turn beating him up. Really, Vic this is making me feel sick. Arthur was, and probably still is, a prude. Look how he went on about my not being a virgin on marriage. God, how he has made me suffer for that one small slip, while he … No. Vic, he’s a devout Catholic. Even when he was going to see Angela every weekend, he never missed Mass and always went to Communion, because Angela used to mention it in her letters home. He’s fanatical about purity, about being chaste. It doesn’t ring true.’

  ‘Look, Hannah,’ Vic said. ‘You used the right word when you said Arthur was a fanatic. Maybe he has a split personality? Perhaps he goes on about purity to cover his tracks? I don’t know, but what I do know is if Colin said he was there, then he was.’

  Hannah knew that Vic was right. Arthur, the man spewing filth at her in the early days of the marriage, was the same one that charmed the neighbours and the staff at the hospital. The besotted father who gave in to his daughter’s every whim was the same man who was so cruel to her and delighted in keeping her away from Angela and yet would live a lie in front of the Banks and pretend that they were a devoted couple.

  It still sounded incredible though. It was like something you’d read in the more lurid Sunday papers. You would never imagine that you’d know someone who did this kind of thing. She thought she knew Arthur. God, she lived with him for years. She didn’t like him much, but she thought she knew him. But he’d gone somewhere all those evenings when he’d left the house. She knew now where, all right. ‘Where do they find places like this?’ she asked Vic. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start.’

  ‘There’s adverts all over if you only know where to look,’ Vic said. ‘They even target certain people and approach them. Kids leaving local authority homes, often without a relative in the world to care what happens to them, or runaways who want to hide anyway. They befriend them and before they know where they are, they’re sucked in. Colin has picked up quite a few casualties this way and some of them are so young. Now I’m not saying Arthur is into any of this, I’m just telling you what goes on and explaining why the police are so concerned.’

  ‘I think it’s appalling! Disgusting!’

  ‘I agree and so do the police,’ Vic said. ‘But, Hannah, don’t you see we’ve got him?’

  ‘Got
him?’

  ‘Arthur. We can threaten to expose him if he continues to refuse to let you see or at least contact Angela.’

  ‘And what do I do, Vic, vilify the father Angela loves, or perhaps go to the police and report what Colin told you?’ Hannah cried. ‘You know I can’t do that. If Angela knew about this, it would destroy her. She’s the one that matters here and the one that I will protect as far as possible.

  ‘She knows nothing of her father’s ban. Probably the Medical Council wouldn’t be interested now, we’re married and so on, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Arthur could make a good case against you, him being the aggrieved party and everything. Believe me, Vic, you don’t know him like I do. He can be charming and very believable.

  ‘Can you imagine what he’d do if I threw this at him? He’d use Angela in this, too. Remember, Vic, she’s never had much time for me and probably by now thinks I’m the lowest of the low. Some day I might have the chance to put my side. But if we were to threaten Arthur, I dread to think what he’d say. He’d poison her mind right and proper.’

  He covered her small hands with his own. ‘We had no choice in what we did, darling,’ he said gently.

  Hannah pulled her hands away impatiently and rubbed the tears from her eyes. ‘I know that, but this man is evil. And yet Angela believes every word he says, or at least she did when she was younger. What if he was to tell her I’d been carrying on for years, even before she was born?’

  ‘She’d never believe that.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t she, Vic?’ Hannah said. ‘Why would she doubt anything her precious father tells her? I’m telling you, Arthur could convince her black was white if he’d set his mind to it.

  ‘Then of course there’s Colin’s involvement in all this. There is only his word that he was there in the house that time and he couldn’t say anything – not now. He’d be in trouble for perverting the course of justice.’

  ‘So you’ll do nothing to see more of your daughter?’

  ‘Listen,’ Hannah said. ‘When Angela is eighteen, I’ll make contact with her. She will be more able to decide then whether she wants a relationship with me or not.’

  ‘What if Arthur still forbids her?’

  Hannah smiled. ‘He might try, but at eighteen, he’ll have little, or no control over her, I’d imagine. And she’ll be seventeen this November and it’s not so long to wait.’

  ‘So for now we say nothing?’

  ‘That’s about it,’ Hannah said. ‘But I’m glad I know. It’s hard to think I shared the same house, the same bed for a few weeks with a creep like that,’ and she gave a shudder of utter disgust and Vic, knowing that she was more upset than she was admitting to, drew her into his embrace and kissed her gently.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Angela was in love. She’d met Matthew Olaffson at one of many parties of the time and when she spotted him she just stood stock still and stared. He was, she decided, one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen. His hair was blond, worn in the Beatles style, his eyes brilliant blue and his smile as he caught sight of her across the room was the sort to die for. ‘Who is he?’ she hissed to Hillary beside her.

  ‘A looker, isn’t he?’ Hillary replied. ‘He’s Ralph Olaffson’s cousin. Staying with him, I believe.’

  ‘Ralph Olaffson?’ Angela knew Ralph all right. He was one of the set, but not one she was greatly enamoured with. He was always looking for bigger and better and hairier things to do to liven up his boring existence. A few months before, he’d tried to get Angela to take LSD, but she’d refused. He mocked and bullied the rest into taking it, but Angela stood firm. She didn’t mind purple hearts, she’d even tried speed a couple of times and smoked a joint or two, but LSD she was wary of. She’d heard of people who’d leapt through windows thinking they could fly under its influence and others where it affected their mind ever after. Ralph treated her with scorn and called her a scaredy cat and she supposed she was but didn’t care. ‘There’s no way I’m taking that muck,’ she cried out at Ralph in exasperation.

  ‘All right, keep your hair on,’ Ralph said with a shrug. ‘Your loss.’

  Later, though, Angela knew she’d been right when she saw the effect it had on some of the people at the party, Hillary included. She’d begun screaming and then started sobbing hysterically and Angela sat with her for hours, holding her shivering frame. Ralph was the least concerned of anyone in the room and said it was, ‘No sweat. She’s just had a bad trip.’

  She didn’t want to get mixed up with anyone connected with Ralph and yet Matthew could hardly be responsible for his cousin and the man was gorgeous.

  ‘He’s coming over,’ Hillary suddenly hissed and gave Angela a sharp jab in the ribs.

  And then he was before the two girls, but it was obvious it was Angela he was interested in.

  ‘Hallo.’

  Angela just knew his voice would have a musical quality to it and she smiled back. ‘Hallo.’ They might have been the only people in the room, their eyes were locked together and Angela felt her heart hammering against her ribs.

  Hillary walked away when she saw the way it was between them. She might as well have been invisible. The man had barely acknowledged her and had not spoken at all. But she was philosophical about it, plenty more fish in the sea. Matthew and Angela stood gazing at each other, while the noise went on around them and neither noticed it.

  ‘Smoke?’ Angela said, offering Matthew one from her Benson and Hedges packet.

  ‘No. No, thank you. I don’t.’

  ‘You don’t,’ said Angela in surprise, lighting one for herself. ‘You must be the only man I know who doesn’t.’

  Matthew didn’t doubt it. He knew drugs were circulating too. It was totally alien to him. There had been opportunity to indulge at college, almost any drug could be obtained, but he’d never taken part.

  ‘You’re staying with Ralph, I believe?’ Angela said, breaking in on his thoughts, and she took Matthew’s hand and led him to a vacant sofa.

  ‘Yes,’ Matthew said. ‘My mother insisted. I’m on vacation from university, you see.’

  ‘Oh, clever clogs, eh?’

  ‘No, not so clever,’ Matthew said, though he knew he was very intelligent. ‘Just lucky, I suppose. I just went to a good school, run by the Jesuit Fathers.’

  ‘Oh Jesus, how ghastly!’ Angela exclaimed. ‘I’ve heard about them.’

  Matthew smiled again and Angela’s heart skipped another beat. ‘Stay here, don’t go away. I’ll get us both a drink. You do drink, I suppose?’

  ‘Yes, I drink,’ Matthew said and might have added, ‘But not in the copious amounts my cousin and his friends do.’

  In fact, he’d been so shocked by many things his cousin said and later by what he saw. His cousin Ralph had scarcely believed him when he’d told him he’d never tried drugs. ‘What you on about?’ he said incredulously. ‘All the students are at it.’

  ‘Not this one,’ Matthew said. ‘None of my friends do either.’

  ‘You don’t know what you’re missing then, that’s all I can say.’

  Matthew shrugged. He knew enough to know Ralph was into everything he could get his hands on. He was one of the worst of the set. It was incredible to believe his stern authoritarian father was the brother of Ralph’s father, his Uncle Maurice.

  They’d never got on. His mother invited them down to the house a few times when they first moved into the house in Sutton Coldfield, but it had never been a success. Ralph, three years older than Matthew, had bullied him mercilessly and his father and uncle had always ended up arguing. He knew his mother’s hair would turn white if he was to do half the things Ralph did. In fact, if he was to tell her, she would certainly have recalled him to heel pretty quickly, but he was no sneak.

  It was such an odd thing, he thought, for his mother to send him here in the first place when since his father’s death two years before, she’d required his presence more rather than less. ‘But won’t you be lonely?’ he�
��d asked.

  ‘Of course not,’ Marian Olaffson had said. ‘I’m at the works all day.’

  ‘Well, shouldn’t I be coming now? Getting the hang of it?’

  ‘Not, not yet a while,’ Marian told her son. ‘Have a holiday first. Enjoy yourself.’

  ‘But why with Ralph? We’ve never got on.’

  ‘Well, I know that, dear, but that was when you were children. I do know he bullied you a little then. But you’re both adults now and we’ve been sadly negligent at keeping in touch with our relatives.’

  Matthew didn’t say he had no desire to keep in touch with the boy he’d been frightened of in his childhood, because obedience had been banged into him since birth. He’d also been brought up to respect and defer to his mother and as she seemed so set on him making peace with their relatives, he left his Sutton Coldfield home and travelled to Leeds.

  Marian waved him off at New Street Station with tears in her eyes. She was so sorry she had to send him away. He’d been the light of her life since the first time she held him in her arms. But she’d been brought up not to show emotion.

  She often envied the nanny her husband Ernest had insisted they employ who could scoop her son up effortlessly and hug him, or play down on the floor with him for hours. She felt an actual pain on the nights she’d come into the nursery, often dressed up for some function, to see the nanny sitting snuggled with a drowsy Matthew on her knee, reading him a bedtime story.

  He was always glad to see her. ‘Oh, Mummy, you look beautiful,’ he’d say and she never corrected him, though she knew Ernest said the child should say ‘Mother’.