by Nikki Rose
Chapter 22
We had no way of knowing when the shipment of girls would arrive, which meant the guys had to be ready at any time. That meant quick preparations. Drew had spent most of the night on the phone with Jason planning and preparing for what was to come. I’d fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for him.
“Hailey? Hailey, wake up.” Drew said softly.
I squinted in the bright morning light. “Hey, morning.”
“Morning, you need to get up and get ready. I tried to let you sleep for as long as I could.”
“Sorry I fell asleep on you last night.”
“Don’t be. You need your sleep.”
“Did you sleep at all?” I looked over at his side of the bed which barely looked slept in at all.
“I caught a couple hours. Come on. Get up. We have to be at Jason’s to meet with the team in an hour and a half.”
“Okay. I’m just going to throw my hair up in a ponytail and get dressed. I can do my makeup on the way.”
“I don’t know why you bother with that stuff. You don’t need it.” Drew gently pressed his lips to mine but only for a moment before pulling back.
I smiled and hurried to the bathroom to get ready. Ten minutes later I met Drew in the kitchen and was welcomed by the smell of coffee.
“I had Philip grab us some bagels and I put our coffee in travel mugs so we can have breakfast on the way.”
“Thanks.” I smiled and took my coffee from him.
“I also packed you an emergency bag. I want you to keep this with you all the time until this mission is over.” He leaned down and picked up a bag that looked like something between a large purse and a messenger bag.
“What’s in it?”
“It has all your fake papers in it. The agency has records of everything so they can get you your real ones when this is all over.” He led me out the door as he continued. “It also has a bank card connected to my cover back account and two credit cards. You have access to them all for emergencies. There’s a satellite phone that will get reception anywhere. I already programmed several numbers in it that you might need.”
“Why would I need access to all this?” I paused at the elevator door and studied his expression but I couldn’t read him.
“I just want you taken care of in case anything happens.”
“You mean if anything happens to you?”
“Just if anything happens...in general.”
“Drew...”
“There’s also a hidden compartment with a gun and two clips in it, if you notice its heavier than it looks.” He led me into the elevator and punched the L for the lobby.
“Nothing’s going to happen.” I intertwined my fingers with his.
“I know. But, just in case.”
I nodded. There wasn’t anything else I could say.
Jason opened the door before we had a chance to knock. “Hey guys. Come on in. We are just waiting on a couple of guys to get here and we’ll be ready to start.”
“Hey Jason,” Drew shook his hand and we walked in.
“Rebecca’s putting together a few snacks in the kitchen before everyone gets here. You’d be amazed at how often these guys eat.” Jason chuckled, trying to keep things light but I could tell tension was high. Everyone was on edge with this new development. If I learned one thing by being friends with Jason for so long, it’s that these types of guys like order, structure, and planning. Not knowing when the shipment and auction was taking place had them all a little nervous.
“I’ll go see if she needs any help.” I gave Drew’s hand a little squeeze before heading to the kitchen.
“Hey, you’re here.” Rebecca smiled up at me from the island where she was arranging sandwiches on a tray.
“Hey. Sandwiches? It’s not even noon.” I laughed.
“It’s almost eleven and these guys eat all the time.” I could tell she was overwhelmed. I’m sure it was tough on her, being married to someone in the middle of all this stuff all the time. But Rebecca and Jason seemed to make it work and he made her happier than I’d ever seen her before.
“Need some help?”
“Yeah. You feel like putting together some pimento cheese sandwiches while I finish these turkey ones?”
“Sure.”
We went to work fixing sandwiches and a tray of veggies. Staying busy was good for the nerves which seemed to be a trick Rebecca already knew well.
“So, how are things going with you and Drew?”
“Going good.”
“You two still sleeping together?” She raised her brow.
“Yeah...” I let out a long breath and Rebecca stopped what she was doing to look at me. “What is it?”
“I think I’m getting...comfortable.”
“You mean you’re wanting this to be more than a fling?”
“I didn’t say that. I told Drew this was only lasting until the mission was over.”
“And now that the mission is close to ending?”
“I’m going to miss him,” I confessed.
“Then why does it have to end?”
“Becs, you know how this goes.”
“Yeah, you get scared and push a good guy away in exchange for a few meaningless hook-ups just like you did with Conrad.” Ouch. “I’m sorry, Hailey, but you’ve always told me like it is and I think you need to hear the same.”
I ran my hand over my face in frustration. “Drew isn’t some good guy like Conrad. Drew is the reason I’m the way I am. He’s the one that broke my heart beyond repair.
“I think it’s more repaired than you think, and I think Drew had something to do with that too.”
“I can’t be with Drew. We have too much history. Once this mission is over, so are we.”
“So that’s how it is.” Drew’s voice shook with anger from the doorway.
“Drew.” I jumped guiltily but why was I feeling guilty? I’d told him from the beginning. I never said promised him anything different.
“If I could let it go after everything, it seems like you could too.”
And just like that, guilt melted away into fury. I felt like one of those cartoon characters with smoke coming out of my ears. If he can let it go? Like he was the one wronged in all this? I wanted to jump at him. I wanted to punch him in that chiseled jaw. I wanted to claw those tropical blue eyes out. Those sexy full lips that used to make me melt now threw me into a murderous rage. “After everything? After everything?” My voice rose but I couldn’t help it as I stormed toward him. “You broke my heart and have the nerve to act like you were wronged? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I broke your heart? Have you forgotten the message you left on my phone? I know five years is a long time but hell, not long enough to forget throwing away everything I thought we had.”
His words knocked the breath out of me. How could he remember things so much differently? “I threw away? Are you kidding me right now?”
“Do you have any clue what the hell is going on?” Cody, one of Jason’s men, asked Liam from the door. They’d come in with Drew and were now trying to put the puzzle pieces together.
“Hailey and Drew dated in high school. They were together for two years but then he cheated on her,” Liam whispered to Cody was just a little too loud and Drew turned toward them.
“Cheated on her? I never —,” Drew gasped.
“Bullshit, you lying son of a —” I started toward him but Liam stepped forward and pulled me back by the arm. I took a deep breath. I was glad he was there.
“Lying? I’m lying?” Drew pulled out his phone and roughly punched in numbers before putting it on speaker and holding it out for us all to hear.
It was my slurred voice coming through the line. I was drunk. “Hey, Drew. It's been a fun ride but I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been seeing someone else for a while. Yeah — he’s great and I’ve decided staying with you just doesn’t make sense anymore so uh — it’s been fun.” Click.
“That’s fake.
” How stupid did he think I was? I’d remember making a call like that. Except, there was something vaguely familiar about those words.
“Fake? You honestly don’t remember making that call?”
“No, I remember getting really drunk. Like, really really drunk. Maybe I made the call to get back at you.”
“What the hell did I do to you?”
“What the —?” I was going to claw his eyes from their sockets. I lunged at him but Liam and Rebecca stopped me, each holding me by my arms. “You cheated on me, you lying bastard. That night you had to work late.” Drew’s eyes bulged. “Yeah. I decided to go out to the bar with a girlfriend for a couple of drinks. I saw you in the booth with that skank crawling all over you...” A sob ripped from my throat and I covered my face with my hands. I hadn’t realized I was crying until I felt my tear-soaked cheeks.
Liam’s arms wrapped around me to hold me up as all my expertly erected walls came crumbling down around me.
After a few minutes of awkward silence with only my sobs to fill the air, Drew finally spoke up.
“Can Hailey and I have a minute?” I heard Drew’s pained voice. I couldn’t believe I’d lost it like I had. I couldn’t believe I’d let everyone see me so weak.
Liam started, “I don’t think that’s a good—”
“I’ll be okay.” My voice was raw and shaky. Liam studied me for a moment and I nodded. I watched as they all filed out of the room.
Once it was just the two of us, Drew took a timid step toward me before thinking better of it and maintaining his distance. “You were there that night?” His raspy voice sounded ashamed and his eyes held a deep pain in them. All I could do was nod. “God, Hailey, I’m so sorry. I never meant for you to see that.”
“Clearly. So, you just planned to hide her as your little side piece?” A tiny spark of my anger returned and I held onto that. Anger was better than hurt. Anger I could use to build strength.
“No, Hailey. Damn it. Okay, you have to let me explain. Please? Will you sit with me?” He motioned toward the small breakfast table by the window and I followed him to sit. My arms crossed protectively over my chest as if it might protect my heart from him. “Hailey, I was going to tell you.”
“You were going to tell me about the girl?”
“No — yes — I mean...” He ran his hands through his hair with frustration. “Let me start at the beginning, okay?”
I nodded.
“Okay, so you knew I went to the police academy and was just starting off. What you didn’t know, was that during some of my testing, I scored exceptionally well. I was approached by another agency — the one I work for now. They had me start out small, local stuff. The pay was great compared to a rookie cop. It would have meant a real future for us. I knew it would be the kind of money I’d need to give you the life you deserved.”
He glanced down at his hands and back up at me as if it pained him to look at me for too long. “Work sent me undercover on a small job. I won’t bore you with the details, but it had to do with a small drug run. Once I was through with my probation period, I was going to tell you. I just wanted to make sure it was going to work out first then I’d have to get you security clearance so I could tell you at least the basics. Anyways, a small drug run turned into something more. I found myself being accepted into a crime ring simply because the leader’s younger sister had a thing for me.”
“I hated every minute with her. It made me sick to have her touch me — kiss me. God, it made me sick. But I was doing it for the agency. It was just supposed to be for another week while they were in town, but then that night you called me... When I heard that message on my machine, it gutted me. I felt like I had nothing to lose. So, when the cartel invited me to go back with them to Colombia to work with them, I cleared it with the agency and agreed.”
“I was able to get some invaluable information and slowly integrate some of my own men into the cartel. When Jason’s team took over the operation, he kept me on since I was so well established there. Hailey, you have to believe me. I wasn’t cheating on you. Not really. I know it must've looked really bad, but I was only doing what I had to, to try to take out some really bad guys. And, I never slept with her. I wouldn’t cross that line. I had no idea you’d seen anything. If I’d known that was why you said that, I would have said screw the agency and told you anyways.”
I sat there in shock while my whole world was turned upside down. How could I have been so wrong all these years? “You weren’t cheating on me?”
“No, God, Hailey, you were the love of my life. You still are. After I knew my future was set, I’d planned to ask you to marry me. I just wanted to be the man you deserved first.”
“All this time...” Tears burned my eyes and I couldn’t hold them back even as numbness set in again.
“Damn it, if I’d only known. Hailey, you have to forgive me, please?”
“There’s not really anything to forgive. You were just doing your job. But you should have told me from the beginning.”
“I know. I just had to be careful who I told. The agency said no one but spouses but I was going to tell you when I asked you to marry me. I'm sorry, Hailey. I'm so sorry.”
“I'm sorry I lied to you and told you I was cheating on you. I guess I just wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me.”
“I get it.”
“Hey man.” Liam peeked into the room. “Don't mean to interrupt but a lot of the guys are looking for you. We were supposed to start ten minutes ago.”
“I'll be right there.” Drew looked from Liam to me, “I'm sorry. I really have to go. Can we talk later?
I nodded and watched as Drew hesitantly left me alone in the kitchen while he went to talk to the men about the mission.
I wasn’t alone long. Rebecca was quick to slip back in to check on me.
“Hey, you okay?” I glanced over at her, concern painted her face as she walked over to me and sat down.
“Yeah. I just have a lot to process.” I sat staring out the window without really seeing anything.
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“He never cheated on me. Not really. He was on a mission.”
“Way back then?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god. Well, that explains a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he just didn’t seem like a cheater to me. Jason said he always seemed like a stand-up guy when he worked with him. And, the way he looks at you...”
“I just need some time. This is a lot to wrap my head around.”
“I know. Take time to process.” Rebecca smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “I want to hear what’s going on with the mission. So, I know what to expect. Do you want to come or do you need time to yourself?”
“I don’t think I’m ready to be around people just yet.”
“Okay, do you want me to stay?”
I forced a smile. “I’ll be fine. You go. I’m just going to sit here and let my mind catch up.”
Chapter 23
I must have gone through every emotion possible while I sat there in the kitchen staring out the big bay window into the backyard. I had no idea how much time passed and I didn’t care. I needed time to think. Nothing was what I thought. All my decisions, all my theories on love and relationships. The foundation for those things was rocked to the core with just a few words from Drew.
When he walked back in, he looked as though he were approaching a rabid animal, unsure of what to expect. I still wasn’t ready to talk to him about any of this.
“Meeting’s done. You ready to head out?”
“Sure.” I stood but my moves felt mechanical.
“You never ate anything,” Rebecca said from behind Drew.
“I’m not very hungry.”
“Well, let me pack a few of these sandwiches for your trip back, just in case.” Rebecca wanted to feel useful. She didn’t know what to do to make things better, so she was doing what she could. I knew my be
st friend well. I could see right through her and I was sure she could see through me as well.
I wondered what she could see. I didn’t even know what was there now myself. Rebecca packed the sandwiches and Drew led me to the door.
Liam stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the door jam. He studied me as I came near. “Hey girl, you okay?” He wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. It felt good but I could feel the tears pricking my eyes. I knew if I stayed like this, I would lose the batter to hold them in.
“I’ll be okay.” I forced a smile and he gave me a knowing look.
“Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”
“I will.”
We said our goodbyes and Drew helped me into the car.
I was relieved that for the first ten minutes, the ride was silent. But then Drew couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Say something. Please?”
I couldn’t look at him. I just kept my eyes focused on the buildings moving past. “I just need time to process.”
“Okay, but can you give me a little hint of what you’re thinking? Please? This is driving me crazy.”
“I was mad at you for so long. I told myself relationships weren’t for me. That love wasn’t for me. All because seeing you with that girl broke my heart so bad, I made the decision that being lonely was safer than being hurt like that again.”
“But I never really cheated on you.”
“I know. And, I need to figure out what that means for me and all my theories.”
“Shouldn’t they be void since they were based on false information?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s true, you didn’t cheat on me. But, loving you is still what led to me being vulnerable to get hurt that bad, to begin with.”
“So, what does that mean for us?” Drew was holding back but I could hear the desperation in his voice.
“I don't know. I need time to figure all this out.”
“Okay, how much time?” I glanced at him and he backtracked. “When you’re ready.”
I looked back out my window and watched the world pass by on the way back to Drew’s apartment. I knew we’d have to talk again sometime. If nothing else, I needed to know what was going on with the mission in case I needed to help or stay away or anything. But I didn’t want to talk anymore. After a few minutes of quiet, I laid my head on the side of the seat and pretended to be asleep so I wouldn’t have to talk anymore.