We weren’t seven years old anymore. Life was a lot more complicated now.
Colton had grown up into a handsome man. If anyone knew how dangerous to the heart handsome men could be, it was me. Girls like me didn’t nab guys like him. No one wanted to settle down with the cage dancer. No one wanted to date the single mother.
Tonight was all I could have and I needed to be okay with that.
Our laughter faded and he smiled down at me as I rested my chin on his chest.
The guilt of knowing I’d deceived him caused me to look away. If he found out who I was now, after everything that happened, he’d probably hate me forever.
“Can you stay the night?” he asked quietly. “I really meant it when I said I wanted to hang out.”
I glanced over at the clock. It was already after 3am.
“I can stay for a little while,” I told him, not wanting our time to end yet.
Before leaving the club, I’d sent a text to my parents letting them know I would be going out after work—something they encouraged me to do from time to time. They wanted me to be able to experience young, carefree life once in a while, and that was something I was so grateful for.
However, they were also big believers in natural consequences, so any hangover or exhaustion from pulling an all-nighter was completely on me if they weren’t available to help. Taking care of a little kid all day with zero sleep sucked, but I was willing to make the sacrifice this time.
“So how long have you been working at Caged?” Colton asked while rubbing his hand up and down my arm. I was snuggled into his side and, although his body heat kept me warm, goosebumps broke out over my entire body at his touch.
I shivered.
Without even asking if I was cold, Colton pulled the dark green blanket up to cover my shoulders.
“About three years,” I answered, trying not to read into how sweet he was being. “What about you? You said you work at the shop down the street.”
Maybe if I kept the conversation about him, I wouldn’t be in danger of giving too much away about myself.
“Yeah. I’ve worked there since I was a teenager. We also have a moving company called Hank and Sons Transport, so I drive a semi to make deliveries a couple times a month.”
“Sons? You have a brother?” I asked, shocked by the idea that his dad might have had more children after they moved away. It never occurred to me that Colton might have siblings now.
He shook his head. “Travis is my roommate. He works at the shop, too, and he does all the long hauls for the company. He’s been my best friend since we were seven.” He shrugged. “Might as well be my brother.”
My heart clenched painfully as I realized this Travis guy must have been my replacement. I told myself it was ridiculous to feel jealousy over that fact, that it was a good thing Colton and his dad were able to move on. After all, that had been the whole point of them starting over.
I tried to picture Colton under the hood of a car or behind the wheel of a semi, and I had to admit it was pretty sexy.
Just like me Colton had a good life, a great family. When he talked about his dad and best friend, it was obvious there was a strong bond between them. Honestly, I was glad to know things worked out for him. Maybe this was meant to be my closure on the friendship that had been lost. I would never have to wonder about Colton again. He was happy, successful, and really good in bed.
Eventually he would find the woman of his dreams, and I would just be the exotic dancer he had a one-night stand with.
Not wanting to talk anymore, I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at Colton before bringing my lips to his. He responded to the kiss by threading his fingers through my hair and rolling us so he was on top.
He playfully nipped at my chin with his teeth.
“Did you just—” I brought my hand up to my face. “Bite my chin?”
“Yup.” He grinned and did it again. And again.
I laughed and squirmed as he continued to assault me with his mouth. My knees parted and I felt his hard length slide against my clit.
I gasped.
He looked down, and when his eyes came back up there was a hint of disbelief on his face.
“I want you again,” he breathed out.
“I want you, too.”
He quickly reached over to his nightstand to grab another condom. After rolling it on, he slid into me and we both moaned. The way his thickness stretched and filled me felt unbelievably good.
This time the sex was different.
Colton thrust in and out at a torturously slow pace. Every time he pulled back, his cock slid all the way out, then he pushed into me again. It was like he was savoring it, enjoying every sensation.
Cupping my face, he caressed my cheeks and my chin. Between ragged breaths he kissed me, and I was able to lose myself in the fantasy once again.
It was so easy to pretend that this wasn’t just one night with a stranger because the way he was looking at me, the way he was moving inside me, felt a lot like making love.
Although I didn’t come again, I enjoyed every breath, every gasp, every moan. I memorized the way his body felt over mine. The slide of skin on skin. The brush of his lips on the side of my neck.
When Colton found his release again, he looked into my eyes and rasped, “Bree.”
And when he wrapped his arms around me and asked me to stay, I couldn’t find it in myself to say no.
I knew—without a doubt—that after tonight I would never be the same.
Worn out and completely satisfied, I started to drift off in Colton’s arms, but the clock on the nightstand said it was nearing 5am, which meant I needed to get my butt home.
As quietly as I could, I slipped out from under Colton’s arm and tried to find my clothes in the dark room. Using the light on my phone, I found my jeans and panties on the floor by the end of the bed. Next, I found my shirt on the other side of the room by the closet. I almost thought I would have to leave without my bra when I spotted the white material peeking out from under the bed.
I snatched it up, happy I was able to find it. The bra was plain white cotton. Not sexy at all. But it was my favorite bra and I would’ve hated to leave it behind.
As I got dressed, I noted a pleasant soreness between my legs and I was glad. I wanted to be able to feel what Colton and I did. Even though our time together was over, I wanted the experience to linger.
Before I walked out of the room, I paused. With my hand on the doorknob, I turned back to look at Colton. He was shirtless, lying on his back with his arm draped over his stomach. His lips were parted and his muscular chest rose and fell with every breath.
He looked so innocent while he slept—so much like the boy I used to know. I allowed myself to gaze at him for a few more seconds before quietly closing the door behind me as I left.
The room was quiet but the curtains were drawn, letting in the bright afternoon light.
“Colton? C‘mere, baby,” my mom said from the hospital bed that sat in the middle of what used to be Dad’s office.
The hospice nurse gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze as she passed me to leave the room. My mom patted the side of the bed and I eagerly climbed in next to her.
“So tell me about your day.” Mom’s voice sounded weak and tired but I knew I could cheer her up.
“Ellie and I had ketchup and mustard sandwiches for lunch.”
“Mm, your favorite,” she said, her blue eyes shining back at me.
Although she’d changed a lot since getting sick, her eyes always remained the same. My dad and I had blue eyes, too, but the color was so pale it almost looked gray. My mom’s eyes, though… They were bright and vibrant. My dad always said it reminded him of the sky on a clear summer day.
“And we played thumb war a few times, but she beat me.” I frowned.
My mom smiled. “No one can beat Brielle at thumb war. You know that.”
I shrugged. “I still gotta try.”
“That’s right
. And you keep on trying. Don’t ever give up on something just because it’s hard.” Her face got serious. “You and Brielle… You two have something extraordinary. Someday you’ll realize just how special it is.” she said as she lovingly ran a hand over the short hair on my head.
Smiling, I did the same to her, letting my fingers slip underneath her pink stocking cap. The radiation treatments had made her hair fall out but I still thought she was beautiful. My dad and I even buzzed our hair so we could all be the same.
“Ellie’s my best friend,” I told her, not sure what she was getting at. “I guess that’s pretty special, right?”
She struggled to take a breath, her inhalation sounding wheezy. I had a feeling that what she was about to say was really important, so I leaned closer.
Suddenly, “Free Fallin” by Tom Petty started blaring through the room. It was so loud my hands went up to cover my ears. Mom’s lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
I jackknifed up in my bed, my heart hammering in my chest. As my breathing slowed, I realized I’d been having a dream. Only it wasn’t just a dream—it was a memory. Well, all except the part with the music. That was just weird.
As the chorus started again, I noticed my phone was ringing on the nightstand next to me, the cause for the strange end to the dream.
“Dad, it’s too early,” I answered grumpily after seeing his name flash across the screen.
He chuckled. “You know what they say—the early bird gets the worm.”
I followed up with the same response I always had to those particular words of wisdom. “That might be true, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
He laughed as though it was the first time he’d ever heard it. “It’s not even that early, Colton. It’s after ten. Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Dad,” I said as I dropped back onto my pillow.
The scent of strawberries and coconuts wafted up from my sheets and I immediately sat back up, looking around for Bree, but there was no sign of her.
No articles of clothing anywhere. No note.
Empty, wrinkled sheets that smelled like her—that was the only evidence she’d been here, that last night was real.
That, and the fact that I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I confirmed it by lifting the comforter and seeing my naked lower half.
My dad’s voice cut through my thoughts, making me realize he was still on the phone. “Colton, you still there?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I said, do you want to come over this afternoon? I thought I could put a pizza in the oven for dinner.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds great,” I said, feeling disappointed that Bree left without a word. “I’ll be over in a little while.”
“Ten-four.” My dad ended the call the same way he always did, and I always found it amusing. Since starting the transport company, my dad tried to incorporate trucker lingo into every conversation.
After placing my phone back on the nightstand, I scrubbed a hand over my face as I thought about the night before. I should’ve been ecstatic. The sex had been off-the-charts awesome—the best I’d ever had. And some of my confidence had returned.
But it would’ve been better if I hadn’t woken up alone.
Honestly, my feelings were a little hurt. She didn’t even leave her phone number. Then again, I didn’t ask for it.
I should have asked for it.
Idiot.
I’d just been so happy my dick was working, I couldn’t think about much else. Frustrated, I fell back onto the pillows.
It’s not like I didn’t know where to find her. Even if it did make me feel like a complete stalker, going back to Caged was the only option.
After I rolled around in Bree’s scent for longer than I cared to admit, I finally decided to get up and take a shower before heading over to my dad’s.
One cup of coffee and a bagel later, I was headed out the door. I slipped my hands into my Carhartt pockets to keep them warm on the one-block walk over to my dad’s place.
I caught sight of my neighbor leaning up against the side of the building next to his door and I shook my head. Pissing. He was pissing.
It wouldn’t be the first or the last time Champ peed in public. His mostly-bald head was tilted down, and the red plaid shirt he was wearing was wrinkled as though he’d just rolled out of bed.
“Happy New Year, Champ,” I said as I walked by.
“You too,” he grunted, not bothering to look up or stop relieving himself.
As long as it wasn’t in front of my apartment, I didn’t care where he decided to take a leak.
My footsteps faltered as I recalled the way Bree and I laughed together the night before because of my neighbor’s eccentric ways. I remembered how good it felt to be with her. So comfortable and fun.
Again, I cursed myself for not getting her number or asking her on a date.
The gravel of the parking lot crunched under my boots as I approached the back of the auto shop where my dad’s apartment was. The shining sun reflected off the white brick exterior, making me squint against the bright light.
When I got to his door, I didn’t bother knocking. People in this town had a habit of leaving their doors unlocked, which was one of the many things I loved about Tolson.
I walked straight into the kitchen, and the smell of baking pizza let me know I was right on time.
Heading into the living room, I found Dad where I always did—in his old brown recliner. I was convinced he spent about 90% of his free time in that thing. The TV was on ESPN. Also, not a surprise. If there was one word to describe my dad, predictable was at the top of the list.
When we first moved to Tolson he rented a small house for us, but once I moved out he didn’t need the extra space. He’d spent at least a year converting the back area of the garage into a one-bedroom apartment. Living there was convenient for him, not to mention rent-free.
“Howdy,” he greeted me, and I flopped down onto the cream-colored couch. “Travis and Angel are off gallivanting somewhere in Florida.”
He wasn’t telling me something I didn’t already know, so I just said, “Yep. Lucky ducks.”
“You know,” he started, “you can take long hauls, too, if you want.”
“Nah.” I shook my head. “I’m sure the beach is great, but I like to stay put. If I want to see a body of water, I’ll just go down to Elmer Lake,” I said, referring to the large pond about 20 minutes away.
He nodded because he understood. “It’s probably halfway frozen right now, though.”
I gave an over-exaggerated shiver. “Ice fishing isn’t really my thing. I’ll wait a few months.”
We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before I brought up a subject we didn’t talk about often.
“Do you ever think about Mom?” I asked, and I saw the brief flicker of pain cross his face.
“Yeah. All the time,” he said, then smiled a little. “It’s hard not to with a hard-headed son like you. You’re just like her.”
Chuckling, I shook my head because he always said that, even though I was pretty sure I took after him. “Do you ever dream about her?”
“From time to time.” He nodded and his face turned concerned. “Why do you ask?”
I shook my head. “It’s nothing, really. I just have dreams sometimes, but they’re more like memories. Things we talked about when she was sick. I was so young then… I can’t remember everything she said. Every time I have this dream, I feel like maybe I’ll find out what she was trying to say, but I always wake up before that happens.” I shrugged, then decided to change the subject to keep things from getting too heavy. “I met a girl.”
A smile lit up his face. “Oh, yeah? What’s her name? Where’s she from? When do I get to meet her?”
“I told you I just met her,” I said, amused at his interrogation. I decided to go for aloof because I didn’t want to admit that she ran away from me. Twice. “I guess
I don’t know that much about her yet.”
“That’s okay. Nothing wrong with taking things slow.” The timer on the oven started going off and Dad got up from his chair. He clapped me on the shoulder as he walked by and gave me another one of his signature words of wisdom. “Slow and steady wins the race.”
Inwardly, I laughed.
Slow and steady. That was the last thing Bree and I were.
“Do you like ants?” Ava asked. Sometimes she had difficulty saying the letter ‘L’ and it came out sounding like a ‘Y’.
Do you yike ants?
The selective speech impediment was something she was getting better at all the time. While I was proud of her when she got it right, sometimes I wished she wouldn’t grow up so dang fast.
“Ants are okay, I guess,” I tiredly answered her 150th random question of the afternoon.
“Why?” she asked, repeating the same word I heard countless times a day.
I shrugged without opening my eyes as we cuddled on the blue sectional couch in the living room. “I don’t mind them as long as they stay outside.”
“Do they bite?”
“No, not usually.”
“Why?”
I sighed, feeling mentally and physically drained. Ava woke up about 30 minutes after I got home from Colton’s, which meant zero sleep for me.
My parents had left this morning for their annual New Year’s Day getaway. Every year they went to a bed and breakfast up in northern Illinois for a night. It made me happy to see my parents still so in love after all the time they’d been together, but that meant I was on my own today.
“How about we just watch our movie,” I suggested as I adjusted my arm; it was starting to fall asleep under Ava’s weight.
I put on her favorite movie, Frozen, in hopes that she would let me rest. For breakfast, I let her have a spoonful of Nutella, half a scrambled egg, and fruit snacks. Lunch wasn’t much better. I’d made ‘cheesy toast’ which was basically toasted pieces of bread with American cheese smashed in between.
The Good Guys Box Set: TRUCKER, DANCER, DROPOUT, and A Trucker Wedding Page 30