I wasn’t a perfect mom, but I loved Ava more than anything in the world. Let’s just say I wasn’t winning any Pinterest awards today.
To say I was tired would be an understatement. Naps were a thing of the past now. Ava started refusing them shortly after her 3rd birthday, but right now I might’ve done just about anything for two hours of peace and quiet.
Not only was I exhausted from not getting any sleep last night, but I was also feeling a little down. Being with Colton had left me on a high and now I was experiencing the crash and burn. I missed him, which was ridiculous. I’d gone most of my life without him in it.
One dancefloor encounter and a night of hot sex shouldn’t make me feel his absence—but it did.
I also felt guilty about my lie by omission. I knew right from wrong, and what I did was all kinds of wrong. But, while I wasn’t proud of what I did, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
Ava was silent for a few seconds, but it didn’t last long. “Are you frustrated?”
I finally opened my eyes to look down at her concerned face, and the bright daylight coming in from the bay window caused my head to ache. “No, bug. I’m not frustrated.”
“Are you sad?”
She was too damn perceptive. Ava could always pick up on how I was feeling, even when I tried to hide it. It was something I loved about her, but sometimes it worried me. Weren’t three-year-olds supposed to be self-centered?
“I’m a little sad,” I admitted, and tried to vaguely explain the situation. “I saw an old friend last night, but I don’t think I’ll see him again for a long time. I kind of miss him.”
“But maybe you could just call him,” she said as she threw out her hand in a gesture that said it was the obvious solution to my problem.
I laughed lightly. “Well, I forgot to get his phone number,” I told her as I ran my hand over the messy brown bun on the top of her head. It matched mine because she always wanted to be just like me. We even had matching pink princess-themed PJs on. My parents had gotten them for us for Christmas and it was one of my favorite gifts ever. Ava hadn’t been as excited as I was but, then again, kids usually didn’t care much for clothes.
“Oh.” She sounded disappointed. Ava picked up my hand and kissed it. “There. Now you can be so happy?”
Nodding, I kissed her head. “Now I can be so happy.”
I loved this age—such an innocent time where almost anything can be made better with a simple kiss.
“Can I touch your ear?” she asked.
I smiled at her weird habit. “Sure.”
Her fingers came up grasp my earlobe while she ran her thumb back and forth over the skin.
“Your ear is so soft,” she giggled, and my bad mood started to dissipate.
I decided I needed to stop wallowing. And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.
“Did you know today is New Year’s Day?” I asked her and she nodded.
“Grandma told me.”
“Well, I think we should do something special to celebrate. How about we make brownies?”
“Yes!” She sat up and started bouncing on me, causing me to grunt. “I yuv brownies. And I yuv you! I yuv you super lightning eight one zero eight!”
“Wow, that’s a lot of love,” I told her seriously then sat up to wrap her in a hug. “I love you, too, Bug.”
I peppered her face with kisses until we were both laughing.
A little while later the kitchen counters were a disaster, covered in brownie mix and dirty dishes. Sitting on the floor, Ava was stirring a big bowl of batter with a giant wooden spoon.
Smiling behind my coffee mug, I took in her appearance. Her pajamas were covered in smudges of chocolate and some of it even ended up in her hair. I had no idea how someone could manage to get so messy in five minutes, but she would definitely need a bath.
Ava stopped stirring and looked up at me, her blue eyes bright and happy. “I bet you’ll see your friend again soon. I bet he misses you, too.”
“Yeah, you might be right,” I lied.
“Back again, I see?” The smug bartender from the other night laughed as he handed a tray of drinks to one of the waitresses. “Getting rejected once wasn’t enough?”
I smirked and took a sip of the beer I’d just ordered. “I wasn’t rejected.”
I wasn’t about to spill the details of the other night, but this ass-hat had no idea what he was talking about.
It was 1am and Bree had just hopped down from her cage. My plan was to get to her before she could do another disappearing act.
Was it creepy that I knew her usual routine was to go straight to the bar to get a glass of water? Yes. Yes, it was.
Did I care? Nope.
Caged wasn’t very busy tonight, probably because it was a Tuesday. I preferred it this way. Fewer people for me to push aside as I chased Bree down.
Mr. Clean let out a loud huff of disbelief as he wiped down the bar in front of me. “Brielle doesn’t give anyone a chance. Don’t take it personally.”
I sucked in a breath at the name. Brielle.
“What did you say?” I hissed.
“I said don’t take it personally. She shoots everyone down.”
“No, not that part. The part where you said her name. I thought her name was Bree.”
“Short for Brielle.” He was giving me a funny look, but I was too busy making the connections in my head to care.
Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I looked across the club to where she was standing, talking with another dancer. Cocking my head to the side, I looked at her—really looked at her. I studied her face, her hair, and the way she moved.
My eyes fell to her hands where she was anxiously rubbing the skin on the knuckle of her left thumb. The action was so familiar I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. That one little thing. That was all it took to push me over the edge of recognition.
No. No fucking way.
A hundred memories slammed into me all at once.
Unending giggles. Scraped knees. Bee stings. Ketchup and mustard sandwiches. Catching fireflies in my backyard. Thumb war.
Sleepovers. The innocent kind, where it didn’t matter that I woke up next to a girl because she was my best friend.
The realization was so staggering that I had to hold onto the bar to steady myself. I slept with my best friend.
I slept with my best friend.
And I didn’t even know it was her.
Did she know? As I watched her, seeing her through new eyes, I saw the way her eyes nervously darted over to me. She looked guilty and turned away from me, like she was about ready to run.
Oh, hell no.
I definitely wasn’t letting her get away now.
I could feel Colton’s eyes on me before I even spotted him in the club. I don’t know how my body could be so aware of his presence but I knew he was watching me. My hair stood on end, my heart rate sped up, and certain parts of my body revved to life.
While moving my hips to the music, I slowly spun a 360 in the cage and searched for him. Standing over by the bar, he leaned back casually, his silver eyes watching me.
Why was he here again? Was he here for me?
Panic overwhelmed me; I wondered if he’d realized who I was. Maybe he was here to confront me about it. Because I was a coward, avoiding him was the best option I could come up with.
When my shift was over I got down from the cage, but I didn’t go over to the bar like usual. Instead, I sucked up my pride and asked a favor from someone I really didn’t want to owe anything to.
“Tasha?” I didn’t waste any time getting straight to the point. “I need a favor.”
She raised her blonde, perfectly plucked eyebrows while rubbing a bright red fingernail over her hot pink bra strap. “Oh, yeah?”
Tasha and I weren’t friends, but we weren’t enemies either. It was obvious we didn’t care for each other, and we’d come to some unspoken agreement not to interact if we didn’t have to. But, desperate times and all that jazz.
>
“Can you go over to the bar and get me a glass of water? Then meet me in the dressing room?” I swallowed hard. Pride was a tough pill. “Please?”
“Why?” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
I fidgeted anxiously. “Because there’s a guy over there that I don’t want to talk to right now.”
Her eyes lit up with interest and she started to crane her neck to see around me. “Who?”
“Just an old friend.” I said impatiently, waving my hands to regain her attention before adding, “Please?”
“Is your old friend really hot?” she asked breathlessly, and I rolled my eyes. Then she continued. “Because there’s a hot guy headed this way.”
Crap.
Who needed water anyway? I was about to make a beeline for the back of the club when Colton’s voice stopped me.
“Hello, Brielle,” he said beside me, putting emphasis on the last part of my name.
I glanced at him and, from the way he was looking at me, I could tell that he knew who I was. And even worse, he knew that I knew who he was.
He looked pissed, and rightly so.
Tasha shrugged as if to say ‘Oops’ and walked away.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before facing him. “I’m sorry.”
It was a such lame thing to say. How could two words make up for what I’d done?
“For which part?” he replied, his expression hard to read.
“What?” I asked, confused, because I didn’t realize I had more than one thing to apologize for.
“Why are you sorry? For leaving without a word the other morning? Or for not telling me who you were?”
A group of obnoxious frat guys started chanting about taking shots at a nearby table. Needing clarification and a better place to talk, I grabbed Colton’s hand and dragged him across the club, trying to ignore the tingle where our skin touched. There was a door that led to a hallway with an emergency exit. I opened it and pulled him inside. The music was still loud but it was muffled enough that we wouldn’t have to shout at each other.
I let out a resigned sigh. My secret was out.
“How did you know?” I asked, feeling extremely exposed in my dark purple boy shorts and cropped top. My sense of anonymity was gone—I wasn’t just some random girl anymore. “I mean, after what we did… When did you figure it out?”
“That.” Colton pointed down to my left thumb which was close to forming a blister from all the rubbing I’d done. I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing it. He remembered my bad habit. Shaking out my hands, I curled my fingers around my thumb so I would stop. Then he added, “Also, Mr. Clean might’ve let your full name slip tonight.”
“Who?” I felt my face scrunch up in confusion.
“The bartender. He sort of looks like Mr. Clean, don’t you think?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, a nervous laugh burst from my mouth because Colton was totally right about that. Jerry, aka Mr. Clean, took his time in the gym way too seriously and wore his T-shirts a little too tight. Also, he’d been banging Tasha for the last few months and that made her think she could get away with murder around here. And now, apparently, he was taking bribes from customers and giving out personal information. Needless to say, I wasn’t his biggest fan.
The humor immediately left me as I glanced at Colton’s face. He looked hurt. Maybe even a little disappointed, and that was way worse than angry.
“I’m sorry, okay?” My voice was heavy with remorse. “Yes, I knew who you were that first night. I should’ve told you.”
Shame over my lie caused me to look down, and my chest tightened when I wondered if Colton would hate me after what I’d done. If I’d been honest with him from the start maybe we could’ve rekindled our friendship, but it was too late for that now.
“Why didn’t you?” he asked and, instead of sounding angry like I expected him to, his voice came out soft.
I looked up at his face again and found curiosity, confusion, and shock. But not anger or bitterness. I had nothing left to lose at this point, so I just went for the truth.
“I had a really big crush on you when we were kids. In fact, I thought I was in love with you. And now you’re so… so… hot.” I waved my hands wildly as the word-vomit spewed from my mouth. “I know it sounds stupid, but when you looked at me the way you did the other night… I just wanted to experience that. Just one time. And then I thought you’d just get what you wanted and I’d never see you again.” I shrugged.
“And what was it that I wanted?”
I let out an exasperated noise because the answer was obvious. “To sleep with me.”
He stared at me for a few seconds then nodded. “Okay. Yeah. I did want that. But that’s not all I want.”
“It’s not?” I asked, baffled.
Colton brought his hand up to my face and he ran his thumb over my chin. His expression turned tender.
“Ellie.” He spoke so quietly I couldn’t hear it over the music, but I could read his lips.
He was looking at me like I meant something to him. Like I wasn’t just a hook-up. Like I wasn’t just his long-lost friend.
“No one calls me that anymore,” I told him. Because it was true. I was so heartbroken after he moved away I wouldn’t let anyone call me by that name.
“You’ll always be Ellie to me,” he said gruffly, before closing the distance between us.
I picked Ellie up, causing her to squeal with surprise, and she wound her legs around my waist. I placed her back against the dark wall of the hallway. Anchoring her there with my body, I pushed myself against her so she could feel my hardness.
I wanted Ellie to know how much I wanted her, that finding out who she was didn’t change how I felt about her.
Was I shocked? Fuck yeah.
But learning who she really was made me like her more. A lot more. I didn’t think it was possible to be more attracted to her, but now it made complete sense why I was so comfortable around her, why I’d even been drawn to her in the first place.
It almost felt too good to be true.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked, and suddenly I was transported back in time as I looked into her familiar eyes.
How did I not recognize her? I wanted to blame my overeager dick for this oversight.
Then again, the Ellie I remembered was a bit of a tomboy. Knobby knees, ripped up jeans, and teeth that were a little too big for her face. More often than not she had dirt caked under her fingernails and almost always wore her hair in a ponytail.
And I had loved her.
She’d been my best friend, but the feelings went beyond that. I used to think she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen—and even now, fifteen years later—that was still the case. Her confession that she felt the same way caused a surge of happiness to spread through my entire body.
Ellie certainly wasn’t the tomboy anymore. Curves in all the right places. Smooth flawless skin. A face so perfect, it made me want to never stop kissing her. She’d grown into her body—and her teeth.
“Honestly, you shocked the hell out of me,” I told her. “And I really wish you’d told me to begin with. But I’m not mad. Actually, I’m really fucking happy.”
Her eyes went wide. “You are?”
I nodded, unable to stop myself from grinning. “When I came here tonight, it was for you. I already knew I wanted something with you. Something more than just sex. But now… this is like getting two for one. I get the beautiful girl and my best friend.”
“You have a new best friend now,” she reminded me.
“Travis is more like a brother to me. That means my best friend slot is still open,” I reasoned.
She smiled a little and I could tell I was getting through to her. I didn’t know why she felt the need to put up walls the way she did, but I would show her she could let me in.
Needing to feel her soft lips against mine, I leaned close and gave her a gentle kiss. After findin
g out her true identity, it almost felt like we were kissing for the first time. She opened her mouth for me and I savored the moment, loving the way her tongue slid against mine. Her hands pulled at the collar of my shirt, like she couldn’t get me close enough.
Chuckling into her mouth, I broke the kiss and pulled back. “I thought I was totally obvious about the way I felt about you back then. How could you not know?”
“You stopped writing to me,” she said, hurt lacing her words as she fiddled with the buttons on my shirt.
It wasn’t just an accusation—it was a fact. How could I possibly explain that I missed her too much? That every time I got a letter from her, it was like a punch to the gut? It was a reminder of something too far away, something I couldn’t have.
Simply saying I was sorry didn’t seem like enough, so instead I kissed her again. Using my thumb, I pulled down on her chin, causing her plump lower lip to jut out. Sucking it into my mouth, I swiped my tongue back and forth over the smooth flesh before biting down. Moaning, she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck while devouring my mouth.
Things were getting out of control quickly as my hips started rocking against hers. If only we didn’t have clothes on. I would’ve loved nothing more than to fuck her up against this wall.
My confidence was back. No way in hell was my cock going down. I was quickly realizing my issue wasn’t so much of an issue with Ellie.
Our heated make-out session was interrupted by a whistle and a catcall as the blonde dancer walked by. “Old friend, my ass! Get it, girl!”
Resting my forehead against hers, Ellie and I both laughed, but I didn’t bother to separate our bodies.
“So where do we go from here?” she murmured against my lips.
“I think a good place to start would be to forgive each other. Start with a clean slate,” I suggested. “I can try to explain why I stopped writing… But maybe right now isn’t the best time.”
She nodded, her nose brushing against mine. “Okay.”
“Then we do the normal stuff,” I said, getting one more kiss in before pulling back. “Go on dates. Get to know each other again.”
The Good Guys Box Set: TRUCKER, DANCER, DROPOUT, and A Trucker Wedding Page 31