Sixteen Small Deaths

by Christopher J. Dwyer

  The room’s only a minute’s walk away from the elevator. I knock once for each time my heart beats through my ribcage.

  “Thanks for waiting a few minutes to—”

  Kleyton can barely finish his sentence before I shove my weight through the door and onto his chest. For a man that’s only a decade or so older than me he’s not nearly as strong as I’d imagined. He gasps for air in between my fist cracking the side of his head. When he stops moving I slam the door shut behind me and smile.

  #

  Kleyton’s eyelids swing open. The fear in his pupils dances behind the sweat and blood that have caked into his sockets.

  “What…the fuck?” Only three words from a man who, with our situations reversed, wouldn’t be able to shut up.

  “The quieter you are, the less this will hurt.” I only had to fish through his duffel bag for a few seconds before finding the polished cleaver.

  Kleyton’s eyes follow the moonlight’s reflection off the knife and a single swift blow to his jaw is enough to rattle him one last time. He stops squirming when the cleaver hits the open air and corrals into the flesh. It takes three swipes to cut through completely and Kleyton is silent as soon as the forearm is split from the wrist and hand on his right side. Lips part open so wide that they could swallow himself and the chair he’s sitting in.

  “So…beautiful…” Tinny strands of fresh saliva fall from his mouth and onto his lap. “In the air, behind the bed, all around us…”

  I launch the cleaver against the side of the desk on the opposite side of the room. Telephone off the hook and Kleyton bleeding out, I nod at the scene and leave the room and the hotel as fast as a ghost falling from the heavens.

  #

  Another shot of tequila with no chaser. I stare at a butcher knife Penny used to use on our clients. The wooden handle is beaten and raw. I’m surprised the splinters never found their way into her palm. I finish the rest of the tequila and move onto the half-empty bottle of whiskey across the table in our kitchen. Penny’s asleep in the bedroom but nowadays slumber to her isn’t really rest at all. She says they talk to her when her eyes are closed. They tell her about what’s beyond the arc of this world and the next.

  I toss my black t-shirt onto the kitchen floor, feel the cool breeze of an October evening across my bare chest. I stretch my fingers, crack the knuckles with a deep breath. Eyes closed, I grip the knife, let it sway over my wrist before swallowing the last mouthful of whiskey. I let it fall with a resounding screech and picture Penny’s face in the moonlight, her smile as soft as a seraph’s voice.

  The first one skitters from the corner of the kitchen and over my head. The next one sniffs the new wound, its horns and oval head shifting from side-to-side with a magnetic swing. One of them walks into the kitchen, a pure obsidian form nearly blanketed by dark light. Its eyes glisten with a scarlet glow.

  A Thousand Black Flowers

  Will watched a long puffy string of clove smoke drift into the endless glitter of moonlight. He blocked out the muddled voices circling around him and tried to think of all the joyful moments that had encompassed his sister’s life. When the coroner zipped her up only a dozen feet away, Will swore that the sounds of rusted metal locking together were the only things he would hear for the rest of his life. He stamped out the cigarette on the apartment steps and sighed, range of shock still at the tip of his brain. The dirty orange glow from two jack o’ lanterns on the porch of the house where Sonia just killed herself reflected off the pale blue of his tired eyes.

  It took Will a few minutes to let everything settle in. He was dozing off on the couch around midnight when his cell phone beeped. He rubbed the beginnings of sleep out of his eyes and stared at the screen, pupils struggling to read a text from Sonia. The haze of slumber fighting his vision for control of his mind, he scanned the two words on the screen: Save me. With no return after a half dozen calls to her line, Will threw on his jacket and started to drive to her house. It was only when the Taunton Police Department called him a half hour ago did his night take an unanticipated turn.

  Now Will stood in the front of the house in which he and Sonia had grown up. His sister had been inside their childhood home and threw herself to her own death three floors below, and the police couldn’t pinpoint a motive. Will reached into his pocket and fetched the crumpled pack of European cigarettes. Slender black funnel of tobacco between his lips, he lit its tip and took a comforting drag.

  “Mr. Dawson?”

  Will spun around and faced a man wearing beige khakis and a navy blue blazer. The man outstretched a hand and smiled. “I’m Detective Brady,” he said.

  Will nodded and ignored the handshake. “What happened to my sister?”

  Detective Brady sighed, rosy red cheeks flush with an autumn breeze. “I’m sorry for your loss. We’re doing everything we can. I don’t know how long you lived in this town, but today and tonight are pretty busy for us, Halloween and all. You know?” Brady looked around and pointed at the array of seasonal directions garnering the neighborhood of homes. “I’m going to have a couple of my guys follow through with this. We’re going to find out why your sister did what she did…I promise.”

  Will watched the sparkle in Brady’s eyes and could tell that the detective was sincere in his words. “Thanks. My sister sent me a text. I only wished I could have gotten to her in time. I was on my way to her house when you guys called.”

  Brady tilted his head. “What time was this?”

  “A little after midnight, I think. It said save me.” Will forced himself to hold back a stream of tears. He didn’t know why the emotions were trapped for so long and were beginning to find their way out now. He bit his bottom lip and focused on the minute bit of pain. “I can’t believe she’s dead…”

  Brady placed a hand on Will’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mr. Dawson. Please go home and get some rest.” He handed Will a creased business card. “Please call me first thing in the morning. We’re going to try and retrace your sister’s steps. There must have been something that forced her to do this.”

  “Thanks.” Will shoved the card in his front jeans pocket and walked away. He wiped the corners of his eyes and savored a long drag of the cigarette.

  #

  Will sat at the kitchen table and threw back another shot of whiskey. Before he could fill the glass again, three sharp raps filled the room and he realized someone was knocking. He jogged to the other side of the apartment and opened the front door.

  “Will…”

  The unmistakable crux in Jake’s voice nearly elicited another set of tears. Sonia’s boyfriend stood in the open doorframe, bags under his eyes like signs of lost love. Will embraced the man in his arms with an immediate hug. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  Will backed away and motioned for Jake to follow him into the house. “I know, Jake. I’m sorry.”

  Jake sat on the lone living room sofa and immediately rested his head back. “Is this what shock feels like, Will? I feel like I shouldn’t be able to walk, or talk, or – ”

  “It’s shock, Jake. It’ll fade soon. What were you guys doing last night?”

  Jake pouted his lips in thought. “We had dinner around nine, I think. We had met at the Sundown Pub right after work, and after we ate she got a phone call from Judy, this chick that she works with. They’ve been going to these Reiki sessions on the other side of Taunton.”

  “You mean that Japanese spiritual therapy thing?” Will couldn’t remember Sonia mentioning anything about it.

  “Yeah.” Jake fiddled with his thumbs, eyes glued to a blank television screen. “Listen, Will, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Will perked up and found himself standing above Jake, ready to burst into a fit of anger at any moment. Although he was positive that the two never kept secrets from him, his sister’s suicide had quickly taught him that not all was what it had seemed. “What is it, Jake?”

  Jake threw his arms in the air. “Sonia had a miscarria
ge last month.”

  The word itself – miscarriage-sent a shiver of abandon through Will’s spine. He sat down next to Jake and took a deep breath. To think that his sister was pregnant and lost a baby shattered his already broken heart. “I’m sorry, Jake,” was all Will could muster.

  Jake’s eyes began to water. “She was strong through it all, Will. So fucking strong. I kept telling her that we’d try again someday, but eventually it wore down on her. She went to three different therapists and not a single one of them could help. The pain…you could see it in her eyes, Will.”

  Will nodded.

  “She tried everything to get over it. She took tabs of Xanax, Ambien, anything to help her get through the night. But nothing worked, Will. Nothing. And this woman Judy at her office told her about Reiki practitioners, this type of spiritual therapy that would be able to heal her for good.”

  “Where is this place?” Will noticed the apprehensive tone of his voice.

  Jake stood up and looked out the window. An array of orange lights hung from a neighboring building. “I think it’s near Jamison Road, the west side of Taunton.”

  Will looked at his watch and noticed that it was only five in the morning, even though it felt like he’d been awake for a week straight. “I bet they’re not open this early. Do you have Judy’s number?”

  Jake nodded. “Yeah, it’s in my cell phone.”

  Will unzipped his sweatshirt and tossed it on the back of the sofa. “Go to my room and lie down for a few hours. I’ll sprawl out here. We’re going to this Reiki place when we wake up, Jake. My sister was stronger than that. She would never take her own life in the midst of losing hope.”

  “I know, Will. I know.”

  Will kicked off his boots. “Get some sleep.”

  #

  Jake took another sip of coffee, foam bubbling at the top of the cup like angry lava. “This town really goes all out for Halloween, eh?”

  Will switched hands on the steering wheel, eyes focused on the road ahead. They pulled up to a red light and for a moment he could feel the spirit of the holiday in the air. A large foam pumpkin with charcoal eyes dressed the lawn of an antique store; outlines of sparkling witches adorned a nearby candy store. “That they do, Jake,” he said.

  When they reached Jamison Road, Will was forced to circle around the square twice before finding a parking spot. “Goddamn town fair’s coming,” he said aloud. “No place to park.” Will slid the car into front of Deb’s Watch and Jewelry Repair, a building that looked like it could have been a rundown bank in the early twentieth century.

  Jake stepped out of the vehicle and dumped the remains of the coffee on the street. The liquid slithered into a pile of leaves. Will was about to shove the car keys into his pocket when he heard his companion shout. He quickly slammed shut the driver’s side door and ran to where Jake was.

  “Jake! Jake! What is it?”

  Jake was already a dozen paces ahead of him. Will found himself struggling to keep up, heart racing to a frantic tune. Out of breath and sweat seeping from his brow, he reached Jake and immediately realized why his dead sister’s boyfriend and future husband had started to shout.

  Jake knelt next to Sonia’s crimson Mustang, his pale hands running along the lone white stripe that clad its shiny exterior. “Sonia,” he whispered to himself, the words floating above him and soon lost in the gentle October wind.

  Will knelt beside him and they remained silent for a few moments. Will finally stood up and grabbed Jake by the arm of his olive-colored jacket. “What the hell is her car doing here?”

  Rage appearing in the crevasses of his face, Jake shook his head and ran a finger along the dirty driver’s side window. Both peered into the car, hoping to find some bit of evidence that could back up Sonia’s daring suicide. Will took a chance and slid his fingers under the door handle and in a matter of moments it swung open. Jake’s eyes lit up with hope, and he quickly hopped into the driver’s side seat. After a few minutes of rifling through Sonia’s personal items, he threw his hands up in frustration and shook his head.

  “Nothing,” he said, eyes staring straight ahead. “Nothing.”

  Will nodded and the two took long strides along the sidewalk. They couldn’t help but smile at the joyous faces of the young that were thoroughly enjoying the one day where makeup and masks were normality. October wind beating at their backs, they faced the front door of Your Reiki: Spiritual Therapy for the Soul. Located in a suburban home rather than a business building, Will studied the exterior of the house and noticed that it looked more residential than anything else on the block.

  Jake knocked on the front door twice. “This place better have answers for us,” he said.

  While they waited, Will lit the last cigarette in his pack. Inhaling the dewy aroma of new tobacco, he took a long drag and closed his eyes. “Has Judy called you back yet?”

  Jake shook his head and knocked on the door again. “Nope. Three voicemails and a few text messages, still nothing. Goddamn it, where the hell are these people? It’s nine thirty in the morning. They should be open. I’m going to – ”

  At his final word, the door popped open, the jingling of classic store bells ringing overhead. A woman no more than five feet tall opened the door, her hair the color of winter ash. Her face devoid of emotion, she waved in the two and pointed them to a purple sofa in the corner of the lobby. A pregnant woman opened the door and the bells startled Will and Jake.

  “Hi Maria,” the old woman said to her new guest. Maria nodded once, face like pastel stone, and walked up the single set of stairs across the way. She took each step in the same amount of time, as if she were robotic.

  Will noticed that the room was lacking the same holiday décor that graced the rest of the town. “Not much into Halloween, are you?” Will asked.

  The old woman ignored his question, her eyes blazing with a tint of orange and blue. “How can I help you guys? I’m afraid I’m all booked up for today, but if you – ”

  “My sister came in here last night with one of her friends.” Will wasted no time in getting to the point.

  “Lots of women come to visit – ”

  “And then she killed herself.” Will didn’t notice that he was only a few inches away from the woman’s face. He could smell the faint aroma of plumeria and wax candles.

  The woman grinned. “I have no time for Halloween pranks, young man. Please, either make an appointment or leave.”

  Jake hopped from the sofa and slammed his fist to the glass counter on which the woman’s shoulders casually rested. “What happened to my girlfriend, old woman? Tell us!”

  The old woman seemed unfounded by the irritation in Jake’s voice. She lost the slight smile on her face and pulled out a large, leather appointment book from under the counter. “What was her name?” Shades of perfect white teeth peeked from her mouth, shades of black lipstick dressing her lips.

  “Sonia Morris,” Will said, pulling back the infuriated Jake.

  The woman traced each line of the book, long black fingernails searching for the correct name. “Ah, Sonia,” she said. “Lots of powerful life force in that woman. Very, very strong demeanor.”

  “She’s fucking dead, you hag.” Jake pushed away Will and was soon in the old woman’s face. “This is the last place she came before she walked off the top floor of her childhood home. What did you do to her?”

  “I have a name, young man. You can call me Kyllard,” she said, undeterred by Jake’s anger. “And I’m sorry for your loss, my friend, but all we do here is help people heal themselves by channeling the energy within.”

  Jake grunted and walked away.

  Will stepped in and raised a hand. “Did she say anything before she left? Anything that might make you think that she’d soon commit suicide?”

  Kyllard shook her head. “Not a thing.”

  “Let’s go, Jake.” Will grabbed him by the arm and pushed open the door. The bells made him want to scratch out his eyes. When the two we
re outside, Jake kicked a nearby trash barrel. It nearly toppled over but Will forced it back upwards to avoid causing a scene and making a mess. He cupped Jake’s head in his hands and gazed deeply into his eyes. “Calm down, Jake. I’m just as hurt, sad and frustrated as you. My sister is dead. Dead. We will find out why she did this, but I need you to calm down.”

  “Okay” was the only word Jake could assemble before erupting into a full torrent of tears. Will hugged him for a few seconds and tried to ignore the sound of fresh drops of emotion hitting the ground. As he let go, Jake’s cell phone rang.

  “Hello?” Jake was barely able to let out a welcoming tone.

  Will heard the first part of Jake’s phone conversation but soon lost the statements as a female scream sliced the Halloween air. He turned around to see a woman clutching her child, who was dressed in a tiny, bright orange pumpkin outfit. The child’s intense blonde hair stuck out in curls of green pipe cleaners, like the tip top of a fresh pumpkin. She pointed up at the sky and shrieked again. Will could see the outline of a figure on the roof of the house he had just left. Squinting in the light of the October sun, he barely recognized the shape as the pregnant woman who had just entered the Reiki practice. She stood at the very edge of the roof, tips of her ruby red flats curling over the landing. In a silent motion, she leaned forward and toppled into the air, body carousing downward until it struck the concrete driveway.

  Bits of bone and skull erupted from the impact, strips of pink flesh plopped across the nearby grass. Will winced and turned away just as Jake walked into him. The two collided and as he caught the supple glow of Jake’s tender eyes, Will vomited a stream of brown fluid on the ground. Head warm with fright, he pointed to the pregnant woman’s lifeless body before a row of steel-colored clouds covered the defenseless sun.

  #

  Detective Brady shrugged his shoulders. Will couldn’t read their lips or make out the conversation between Jake and the detective. Jake soon walked away from the detective and Will immediately noticed the nervous twitch in his eye. Jake started to speak but instead curled his lips inward. He looked up, then away, before talking. “Will…Sonia’s friend Judy is dead. It was a…suicide.”