by Alexa Davis
I tried on the other two dresses while I waited for him to come back, but he was right, the blue dress, with its drape neckline and clingy shape had been my favorite too. Obviously, he knew I wouldn’t be afraid of color, and the pale blue even looked silver as it moved under the light, looking subtle, and rich. I loved it. But, I wasn’t going to get my hopes up while I was stuck in dressing room in only panties; they might not have one that would fit me. I cursed my more successful friends, who could afford not to shop off the rack.
I heard a cowboy whoop and knew he’d found what he was looking for. I giggled at the sound and glanced in the mirror. My eyes were bright and my cheeks were flushed. “Good God” I thought to myself. “You’re no better than the twit checking him out in the mirror.” I took a deep breath and released it, and watched the color fade from my cheeks until I no longer looked like a half-naked fangirl.
He slung the dress over the door and I tried it on. It fit like a glove, shimmering as I moved and flashing silver alongside the blue depending on how I turned. I knew I had the perfect silver strappy sandals at home to go with it, and I was dead set on getting it, so I refused to look at the tag.
I opened the door to go show Jackson, who was standing right outside the door with a shoebox in his hands.
“I wasn’t sure if you had shoes that matched. This is what took so long to get back.”
I lifted the lid and inside were sandals nearly identical to my own. I held out a fist and he bumped it with his own. “Those are awesome, to be honest, but I have almost exactly the same shoes at home, so I’m going to pass on those today. But, they would have been what I wanted, if I didn’t already have them. I’m impressed.”
“Shit, I knew I’d seen these before, I just figured I’d seen them back home and remembered them for some reason. Well, cool then, let me pay for that dress while you get changed. He held out a hand for the dress. I slipped it off and handed it to him, while his face split in a grin, then I shut the door in his face and quickly got my clothes back on. I had never had a guy buy me things before. It made me wish I’d just said “yes” to the shoes.
We still had time to kill, so we drove over to Santa Monica and wandered around the aquarium for a couple of hours. He was thrilled to see the seahorses and touch the little ball rays, then we stopped for something to eat at a brewpub on the way back to LA. I conceded and ate the salad Jackson ordered for me, after he pointed out that it was less vegetables than I was used to grinding up in my blender and “pouring down my gullet.” I had to google “gullet” after that, but I got his point.
We ate, then as a nod to his rural upbringing and obvious fear of not being the driver, I handed him my keys to drive the rest of the way home. It gave me time to text Shelby and tell her our plan for the night, in case she wanted to accidentally bump into us before Gamercon and meet Jackson under less stressful circumstances. Besides, the couple of girlfriends I’d mentioned him to had acted like I was trying to get raped and killed. It would be nice for me to have a friend on my side if he decided I was worth visiting again.
She replied to my text quickly suggesting we catch dinner with her and her boyfriend, and another couple, Cassidy and Liz, but I still had to fit into that costume over the next couple days, and even an extra salad was calories I didn’t need. I told her I’d talk to Jackson and get back to her, since we weren’t a couple, and I didn’t want to make him too uncomfortable introducing him to my best friends on basically our second date.
We walked in the door and he went looking for Stiles to say hello, and I hung up our club clothes. I walked into the living room, to Jackson lying shirtless on the bed he’d pulled out, with his hands behind his head as he watched me.
“We need to talk,” he said, without moving.
“Okay.” I stood with my arms folded and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Well, come here,” he sighed as he rolled over on his side, still facing me. I sat on the bed and he tugged me closer, so I was on my back next to him and his arm was across my chest, pinning me down. He snuggled closer and pressed his face into my hair. “I think we should try to make this work,” he sighed again and stroked my shoulder.
18. Jackson
“I’m, I’m sorry, what?” She caught her breath and held it, and I stumbled on with my under-planned speech.
“Yeah, see what I did there? We could’ve talked for hours, skirted the issue, had some more sex… Not that I don’t plan on us doing that anyway. But, for real. I want to see if we can keep this up. I get asked to help people, all the time. I’ve never had this much fun, or enjoyed being a part of someone else’s goals, as much as I did yesterday. I want to spend more time with you, all my free time, to be exact. I want to buy groceries with you and cook, and force you to eat real food, and…” She pushed up onto her elbow and faced me, and my voice trailed off.
“Wow.” She breathed deeply. “So, you want to meet my friends, and help me build costumes? Maybe even work in the industry, in tech? Or, you just want to keep coming out and visiting and giving me hot sex, which I am happy to receive, by the way, and see where it goes?”
“I sound crazy.” I started to pull away, but she grabbed my shoulder and held me on the bed.
“No! I just want to be clear, because I feel the same way, I think.”
“I can keep coming out to visit, or keep coming to see you from Stanford, if they take me. But, those courses? I can do them online, I mean, c’mon, most of what I have left is a thesis anyway.” I boasted.
“So, you could stay here.”
“Or we could get another place together, but I think staying here is good at first.”
“How long have we been talking? I mean, how long have we known each other?” She grabbed her phone and I could see her scrolling through her texts. I smiled a little. She’d saved all my texts.
“Almost three months. But in my defense, one of my favorite gamer buddies dated his wife for a week before they were engaged, and they were married after three, so we’re still on the fringe of normal.” I watched her check things off on her fingers.
“I really like you, Jackson. I care more than I thought I would, and some things have been a lot easier and more natural than they should be at this stage.”
I nodded. She had been as easy to be around as an old friend since the moment I had arrived. A very hot, sexy, fuckable old friend who I wanted to cook for and shower with, who would never look at another guy again… so, not really an old friend so much as the woman I wanted to spend the foreseeable future with. I kept that part to myself.
“Well, in that case, I have a couple of friends I’d like you to meet. Shelby and Cassidy are really, really, nice, and they help me with my costumes. Shelby even does make-up for movies. Cassidy helps me with sewing. If you think you can handle it, we can meet up with them and their significant others tonight. Shelby invited us to join them for dinner.”
“Would you eat?” I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Hell no. But, I would drink a diet soda, or a single glass of wine, and pick off your plate. Jackson, they know me. They probably invited us to make sure you get something to eat.” She sat up and looked at me, wide-eyed. “Did we just decide we’re dating?”
“Yes. Yes, we did. You having second thoughts already?”
“No. Are we telling anyone?” She looked overwhelmed, and I suddenly wished I could take it all back until after Gamercon. I had wanted to get it out of the way, so it was one less thing to think about.
“You know they’re going to guess, and if they do, I’m going to be honest, okay? I’ve lived my whole life as an open book, so I hope you aren’t too attached to your privacy, because it ends tonight.” She held up her phone. “I’m going to look hot in that dress. Plan on seeing yourself on Instagram tonight, I promise to tag you.” She strolled off to the bedroom to grab our clothes, and I sat on the corner of the bed and held my head in my hands.
I had been good at covering my tracks, and even as close to gett
ing caught as I’d come, I had managed to stay out of trouble. But if I was going to be living in the light cast by the her spotlight I was going to have to burn it all and never look back. I looked up and she was watching me.
“What’s wrong?” Her voice trembled a little and she looked scared, like I was going to start flipping furniture and screaming at her. What exactly was I thinking asking to be a part of her life before we really knew each other?
“I’m pretty private. I’m just getting used to the idea that I have to get rid of some of my identity, in exchange for a spotlight.”
“You know how I live. How can you be surprised?”
“I’m not surprised, C.J., I’m just letting it go. Don’t you think there will be anything you have to let go, and won’t you want me to be kind to you when you do?” Anger flashed across her face, fast and hot. It was gone so fast I almost thought I imagined it.
“Why do you have to let anything go?”
I scoffed.
“No, I’m serious. Why can’t you be Bruce Wayne?”
“Aside from the fact that my parents are alive and well, and I’m not that ridiculously wealthy?”
“Very funny. Wait. Are you wealthy?” The anger was long gone and she sat next to me on the bed, leaning against me and laying her head on my shoulder.
“No. I’m not. My parents are fiscally very healthy, ever since a very wise decision to sell some of their land and then a little parcel that we found was disgusting with oil, you know, the Texas way. I have a trust fund that I can touch when I’m twenty-four and, believe it or not, I’ve made myself invaluable in my home town as the resident computer genius, so I have money of my own.”
“It doesn’t change how I feel. It might change what I ask for for Christmas.” Her voice trailed off and I barked out a laugh. She was the most emotionally volatile person I had ever met. She strutted off to take a shower, and I tried to stop the room from spinning so I could stand up and join her.
I planned to keep it gentlemanly in the shower, but the moment I got in, she grabbed me and started stroking me while she leaned up for a kiss. I happily obliged, but carefully pried her hand off me and backed her under the water until she frowned at me.
“You do know we’re celebrating, right?” Shit. I’d flipped the switch again.
“I got a little out of hand last time. I’m trying to be a gentleman.”
She shook her head. “Well, stop. I don’t want you to be anything but you. If that means sometimes we get a little dirty, or if you want to take it slow, either is fine. Just don’t over think it. You’re fucking Bruce Wayne, remember? Party boy in the spotlight, super hacker in secret, and the only one who knows is your eternally loyal woman.” She thought for a minute. “Does that make me Vicki Lake, or Selina Kyle?”
I laughed and it rang out in the shower. “Selina Kyle, no question.” She breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief and wiped her forehead with the side of her hand. I stepped in and pushed up against her, cupping a hand around her breast and sliding my other hand behind her neck. I kissed her softly, then slid my tongue into her mouth and searched her for the answers I wanted. God, when my hands were on her skin, she was worth every mile that stood between her and home.
She finally pulled away from me, but clutched at my arms and held on like I was the only thing keeping her from slipping down the drain behind her. I soaped up her loofah and dragged it over her chest and stomach, soaping up her torso and her arms as she steadied herself. I wasn’t aiming for sex, and this time, she didn’t try to force my hand. I covered every inch of her from the neck down in thick, fragrant lather, then ran my hands over her as I rinsed her clean. Before I let her out of the water, I picked up and carefully washed each of her feet. When I stood, she was staring at me like I’d grown a third eye while she wasn’t looking.
Embarrassed, I started washing my hair and body without making eye contact with her at all. A minute later, I felt her hands on my back and shoulders, slick with lather, and she washed my back, never speaking to me, and she even made sure to scratch it good and hard before I rinsed off.
“I think that’s the best back scratch I’ve ever received.” I admitted when we were sharing the large bathroom rug and toweling off.
“My pleasure. So, do you need a rundown of my friends, or do you want to be surprised?”
I knew I was in uncharted territory if LA was anything like the movies made it out to be. “Nah, I’ll take the surprise. I mean, they’re your friends, they can’t be too scary, right?”
She kissed me and patted my rump. “Good answer, Cowboy.”
I dressed in the living room, while C.J. dressed in the converted bedroom. There was an alcove created by the exterior shape of the building, and I stashed my stuff there, using a chair from her dining set to hang pants and my button-down shirts on.
I slid the dark, slim fit jeans over my hips and threaded my belt through the loops, thinking about what I could talk C.J. into using it for later. The tee shirt was dark enough that it wouldn’t show sweat easily, and thin and soft enough that it was super comfortable, even though I hadn’t washed it yet. I shoved my feet into my boots. It wasn’t very LA of me, but I needed a little piece of home with me, grounding me, because I could see how easily who I was could be lost in the shadow of who I was with now.
19. Carina
I was more nervous about dinner than Jackson seemed to be. Being from Texas and being from a family of nearly all men, I wasn’t sure how he’d do with the almost all-female group of friends I’d cultivated since I’d quit modelling full time, moved to Los Angeles from New York and tried to broaden my prospects. Television and movies had been a bust, apparently taking my clothes off wasn’t the same as acting. Gaming was paying the bills, but I couldn’t expect that to be a lengthy career. My friends had come from every part of the gaming and entertainment world and as females, we’d bonded together over the sexual harassment, misogyny, and under-representation that was a huge part of the industry for us.
He seemed to sense my apprehension and took my hand before we walked into the restaurant. The warm pressure of his fingers on mine somehow slowed my heart beat to a less breakneck speed, and kept me calm, at least until I saw Shelby and Liz both staring at us from the far side of the table.
“Uh oh, they see us.” I breathed as the hostess escorted us through the maze of tables.
“Why is that an uh oh?”
“Because I think at least one of them is already imagining you naked.” His hand tightened on mine and I realized he’d taken my hand to make him feel better, not me. It made me smile that he’d sought the same comfort from me, that I’d sought from him. Maybe we could work things out to be awesome between us. I squeezed his hand back and we reached the table.
Shelby’s boyfriend, Nick, jumped up to shake Jackson’s hand, and Shelby slid out of the booth so we could sit in the back and she would still be next to Nick, which put Jackson either hip to hip with Cassidy’s girlfriend, Liz, or on the other side, with Shelby. I weighed the options and decided Liz was far less intimidating than Shelby, and Jackson would have safer conversation with the two girls, than with my lovely, overprotective friend or her slightly crazy boyfriend. I motioned Jackson to slide in first, and as soon as I was all the way in next to him, I put my hand on his thigh, hoping the contact would settle the butterflies in my stomach.
Jackson, for his part, was admirable. He talked easily with Cassidy about programming and game developing, and I was doubly glad I’d sat them together. I had totally forgotten that Cassidy had recently started a business as a consultant working with big-name developers as she streamlined their businesses and worked to bring new talent into their companies.
Unusually quiet, Shelby sat and watched from Nick’s side. I finally leaned over and asked her what she was thinking, but all I got from her was a noncommittal shrug and a thoughtful look. I asked Jackson to order for us both, meaning I wanted a Diet Coke and for him to eat something, and went to the restroom. I had j
ust pulled the lip gloss out of my clutch, when Shelby entered behind me, and leaned against the sink with her arms folded, watching me.
“What is it, Shelby?” I asked as I wiped a smear from the edge of my lips.
“What have you done, C.J.? The last time you had that look in your eye, you ended up in Vegas, and very nearly married, if memory serves.”
“Yes, it does, and that’s not a mistake I intend to make twice. We’re not getting married, Shelby. I mean, I don’t know if we’ll ever get married, but that’s definitely not a conversation we’re having yet.” I turned to her and grinned. “The sex is pretty hot though. I mean, that alone would be worth marrying a guy built like that for, right?” I watched her face as she struggled to control her words.
“So, sex is a good reason to get married?”
“I’m kidding Shelby. I mean, not about the sex, it’s fantastic. Jackson is a great guy. He’s the real deal.”
“Has he fallen for you yet?” I glared at her reflection in the mirror, and she avoided my stare, taking out her compact and repairing nonexistent flaws.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, come on, C.J. You know guys always fall in love with you in no time at all.”
“Yeah, and if you haven’t noticed, they tend to fall out of love pretty quickly too.” My stomach clenched. I’d been with three different guys, publicly, in the previous three years. No sooner did we’d decide we were meant to be, then I ruined it. Every damn time.
“Getting chased off isn’t the same as falling out of love, Sweetie. I’ve run into one of your exes after the fact. He was still stupid in love with you. He just truly believed he was the worst mistake you’d ever made.” She sighed. “There’s something, I don’t know… solid about this guy. I’m not telling you to marry him, but, if anyone was going to stick around, it would be him. Just don’t make him wish he hadn’t, if you can help it.”