by Alexa Davis
I threw my lipstick back in my little purse and shut with a snap. “Damn. You don’t pull your punches, do you?” I tried to storm off, but she grabbed my arm.
“I love you enough to be direct. Besides, you’ll have forgiven me by the time I do your make-up tomorrow. You love me.” She let go and I walked off without another word. But, by the time I’d reached our table, and saw Jackson laughing at something Cassidy had said, while Liz rolled her eyes at her girlfriend and even Nick was leaning forward with a grin on his face, my anger had cooled from searing heat, to the discomfort of realizing she was right.
Jackson was a tech prodigy, but he was from that hardy stock I remembered from my youth. The men that put on their boots and their hats and took pride in their work, their homes, and their people. Jackson took pride in me. I wasn’t just a fuckable girl to him. I was his people. I blinked away the sudden tears that burned the backs of my eyelids, and as if he knew I was thinking about him, my guy glanced up and looked right in my direction, worry flashing across his face before I smiled and he returned it with a grin.
I worked my way back behind the table again, playing with Jackson’s hand in his lap. I regretted leaving home, where we’d be in comfortable clothes, just hanging out. Meanwhile, Jackson kept the table in stitches, exaggerating his accent and telling them stories that he’d shared with me, about skinny dipping in the muddy shallows of the lake and learning about leeches the hard way, and the first time he was thrown form a horse badly enough to break something. I tuned in to the stories laughing as hard as I had the first time I heard them.
“So, imagine me, ten years old, my britches caught up on a big ol’ fence post, screaming for help while this bull charges the fence from the other side, slamming his head into the post so hard I swing and bounce on the other side of it, my feet dangling off the ground.” Jackson was mid-story when Shelby returned, and he paused as she sat down.
“Please finish. Sorry for the interruption.” She said quietly, gesturing with her hands for him to continue. He grinned and nodded, and I wondered if he’d stopped to be polite, or for dramatic effect.
“Well, there I am, bouncing around, wishing for once that my shorts would tear, when I see my older brother come running across the field, full tilt. He grabs me, yanks me right out of the shorts, and runs away with me over his shoulder like a bale of hay, in nothing but my little white underoos, and my tee shirt.” The entire table erupted in laughter at the picture and Jackson paused again until it died down. “They refused to let me take the shorts down. It took two years for there to be a wind high enough to dislodge those stupid things. But, I tell you, I have never been back inside that pasture, not in almost fourteen years.” He scratched the back of his neck and shook his head. “Stupid, fucking crazy-ass bull.” The pure venom in his voice started another round of laughter, and it took a few minutes before any of us could talk again.
“Oh, my Lord. I thought I had funny stories to share, but everything I laugh about now, seems to be stuff I was once arrested for.” Liz sighed, still wiping tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes. “I’m glad we have a little good clean fun in the group now. We need it.” Cassidy raised her glass in agreement, and Nick and Shelby followed suite. I grinned up at Jackson, who looked happy, and a little overwhelmed.
“Well, shoot, Son. I would’ve held off on introducing you to them if I’d realized they’d like you better than me.” I winked and hugged his arm. It felt good to not be the odd man out with the couples anymore. Even better that Jackson fit in so well with my weird crowd. I looked around the table, and any irritation with Shelby for being honest and calling me out melted away. This time, I didn’t want to chase anyone away. These people were my family, and watching them laugh and drink like we’d all been friends since the beginning, I made a silent wish that we could hold on to that moment, and never change.
20. Jackson
The restaurant was fun, and I liked C.J.’s friends, especially Liz and Cassidy. I was happy that I didn’t have to admit to anyone that I’d never met a lesbian before, and since no one asked, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. Cassidy worked in mobile gaming, and she consulted with some of the biggest names in the industry. Liz was a writer for the big sports games, and she had a repertoire of stories about the athletes and celebrities whose voices were used for those games that made my sides hurt from laughing so hard. I was having such a good time, that it was a disappointment when the time came to pay the check and head out to the clubs.
C.J. kept to her word and didn’t eat or drink anything except diet soda, so I knew I had a designated driver for the night. Maybe if I hadn’t, I would have been more careful with my own drinking, and better avoided the trouble I found when one of C.J.’s famous friends saw us and invited us up to the VIP lounge.
At first, I was amazed when our little group walked past the line that wrapped around the corner of the building and the bouncer let us right in, without blinking. Even then, I felt his eyes on me, like he knew I didn’t fit it with the rest of them, but he let me through with C.J. on my arm, and aside from a grimace in my direction, he said nothing. The music was the requisite DJ spun techno-remixes of older hip hop and rhythm and blues, loud enough to burn right through my eardrums and into my head. I listened to all kinds of music, but what people were gyrating to on the dance floor was some sort of bastardization of every known type of music, mixed up and mashed together for the benefit of the mostly naked girls dancing in the cages.
We stood with the crush of people lined up three deep at the bar for drinks, and waited for a bartender to take notice of the bills Shelby was waving at her, when a large man dressed in unrelieved black leather from his jacket to the shirt underneath and his pants approached us and started talking to C.J. I saw him point up to the VIP lounge that overlooked the dancefloor, and she nodded and grabbed Shelby’s arm. She directed us away from the bar and we gathered around her so she could shout to us over the music.
“We’ve been invited to the VIP section. There’s a guy up there having his birthday party. I worked with him on a few music videos, and he wants us to come celebrate with him. Do you want to go?” I was the only one who hesitated to agree, but she didn’t seem to notice, and I found myself following her through the maze of bodies to a door manned by yet another leather-clad meat head. He opened the door without being asked, and we walked up the stairs like we belonged there. I glanced at the others, and realized I was the only one for whom this was a first.
“Perks of being on C.J.’s friend’s list?” I leaned over and asked Nick as quietly as I could over the music, which was still almost uncomfortably loud, even behind the glass that separated the suite from the rest of the club.
“Pretty much,” he replied. “I’m still getting used to it, and Shelby and I have been together for almost two years. Just roll with it. It does get easier.” He chuckled and smacked me on the shoulder in a gesture of solidarity, before finding himself a perch on the outskirts of the party, and settling in with a flute of champagne he’d snagged from the large table in the middle of the room.
C.J. made her way over to a skinny white kid in a hoodie and skinny jeans, and air-kissed both sides of his face, before he pulled her into a hug. I felt a hand on my arm, and glanced down at Cassidy, who was watching me and stroking my arm in a way that I realized had nothing to do with flirtation.
“I have a few brothers of my own, Jackson. I know that look. I promise, it means nothing. C.J. doesn’t find that little dickwad the least bit attractive, and although it might feel good to punch him in the face initially, I guarantee it isn’t worth the beating you will end up taking if you do it.”
I laughed a little shakily and nodded. “I don’t recognize him. Is he important?”
She laughed. “Only in the ‘got a top forty hip hop single’ way. He hasn’t been around long enough to know if he’ll burn out fast or stick around for a while. He put C.J. in a few music videos recently, but they haven’t aired yet.”
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nbsp; Liz joined us and handed us each a drink. “Maybe this will help, ‘cuz.”
I glanced at the scotch in my hand then back at the two dark beauties with their arms around each other. “Thanks, Sis. I have a feeling that you guys might be my lifeline tonight.” I stayed on the fringes with Liz, Cassidy, and Nick, while Shelby and C.J. flitted from celebrity to almost celebrity without a backwards glance. I kept drinking what was handed to me, and watching the clock tick away without any sign from C.J. that she was going to remember that I, or any of us, was here.
An hour into the C.J. show, I’d had enough. I was drunk enough that I was glad I hadn’t driven, and irritable enough to know that if I watched C.J. laugh off one more guy groping her ass, I was going to get mine kicked for my response. I walked up to her as she listened to some guy who gestured wildly while he talked, and waited for him to stop for breath. Finally, he got tired of me standing there, which was just as good with me.
He pushed C.J. aside and got in my face, almost pressing his nose to mine. “Is there something you need, bro?” He stank of beer and sour sweat, and the intense red bleeding into his eyes made me wonder what else he was on.
“Just waiting to talk to my girl. Is there a reason you’re trying to kiss me?” I asked, not backing up, but turning my head slightly, both to put space between us, and to better see if a fist was headed toward my face. C.J. pushed her way between us, and pressed her back against me as she took a couple of steps back.
“Hey, Allen, this is Jackson, he’s visiting from out of state,” she belatedly tried to introduce us, as though knowing my name might make him less inclined to violence toward me.
“Yeah, bro, I was just here for some keys.” I turned to C.J. and held out my hand. “I sure don’t want to get in the way of you and your many, many friends, but I’m tired of sitting around waiting for you to remember who you came with. I’ll get a ride from Liz.” She flinched like I’d slapped her and her face went pink, then red as she flushed, either from embarrassment or anger. I really didn’t care which.
We stood there at an impasse, me with my hand out for the house key, her standing rigid, red-faced, and pissed, clinging to her little purse. Neither of us was paying any attention to Allen, which was why when he decided to punch me, I took it full on the side of my head without dodging or blocking it at all.
My head swung like it was on a swivel, and I had just enough time to register the shock on C.J.’s face before I saw another fist coming, out of the corner of my eye. That one I managed to dodge, and I blocked another, before one of the security guys stepped between us and put Allen in a choke hold.
“Just don’t swing.” C.J. managed to squeak out as I stood there, head ringing, hands balled into fists at my chest. I knew she was right, but my body still slipped easily into a fighting stance, shoulders loose, knees a little bent. I may not have been a fighter, but I was raised on a ranch surrounded by brothers and ranch hands who were always ready to pound a lesson into the youngest, smallest guy there.
“Can I go now?” I asked her. I worked my jaw a little, but I could tell that I was going to need something with some kick to put down the headache I was developing.
She nodded and took me by the hand, walking towards our mates and the exit, when a large, black hand gripped my arm just above the wrist. I spun to meet the new attacker and let go of her hand, but just as I squared up to belt the guy, I realized I was face to face with one of the biggest names in the music industry, and being the brilliant guy that I was, I did the math in the split second it took me to drop my arm and open my fist. I could not afford a lawsuit from the rapper, who was one of my favorite artists.
“Oh, my God.” I stammered. “I’m sorry man, I thought, I thought you were someone else.” I tried to stop talking, but the fanboy just poured out of my mouth like the idiot I was. “Carina, this is The Weeknd. The mother-fucking Weeknd!” He chuckled and my mouth shut with a snap.
“Hey, man, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Allen’s got some problems, and my guys are helping him get home before he does something else stupid.” He bumped knuckles with Carina. “C.J.’s my girl, man, I’m just happy to see her smiling so much. That because of you?”
I gaped at him, then turned to C.J.
“Of course, it is. Abel, meet Jackson. He’s the tech guru I told you about when we were talking about that other thing.” I looked at her, then back at him. I shrugged and started to speak, then closed my mouth again. I reached out and shook his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Jackson. C.J. tells me you could maybe help me with a little trouble I’ve been having. I have paid a lot of money for my privacy, but somehow, tabloids keep finding out where I’m going to be before I get there, despite assurances that my computers and phone are ‘secure,’” he told me, making quotations in the air as he spoke.
I nodded, grateful to be on my turf now. “I think I can take a look,” I replied, with a glance at C.J. “Early next week?”
He held out his hand and shook mine again. “Sounds good man, I’ll give you a call.” He pointed at C.J.
“I’ll text you his number right now,” she laughed. She led me to a room that was quieter, and empty. She closed the door, and for the first time since we walked into the club, I could hear myself. Unfortunately, it meant I could hear the pounding in my ears from the cheap shot I took to the head a lot better, too.
“God, my head feels like I need to go kick that skinny asshole’s face in.” I muttered as she handed me her drink and dug through her little purse.
“Hold on, Shelby’s on her way with water, and I have… aha!” She exclaimed as she held a little travel pack of Aleve in her hand. “I always carry a little emergency kit with me. I also have a Band-Aid and a hair tie, if you want it. I rolled my eyes, painfully, then agreed to the hair tie, so long as it wasn’t pink.
Shelby arrived with the water just in time for me to wash down the pill I’d taken dry, then I pulled my hair back in a little man-bun to get the longest pieces off my face.
“No bruising, I’m glad to see,” Shelby remarked. “But, if it shows up tomorrow, I’ll have the perfect cover up for it.” She winked and turned to leave. “Are you two going to be okay alone, or do I need to stay and referee?” I waved her off and C.J. shook her head.
The door closed behind her and we sat in silence. C.J. stared at the floor, refusing to look me in the eye.
“Is life always this exciting for you?” I finally asked, pacing between her and the door. “Because if it is, a warning would be nice, next time.”
“No one was forcing you to sit on the sidelines,” she snapped, finally raising her head.
“You said, ‘Wait here, I’ll get us drinks and be right back.’ Then you took off and flirted with every guy in the room until I came to get you, at which point I got sucker-punched by the guy who thought he was going to fuck you tonight.” I made every effort not to yell, but my voice got louder with every word.
“I wasn’t trying to fuck anyone,” she muttered. She looked like she was might cry, but the words just kept coming out of my mouth, despite the warning bells going off in my head.
“I get that you’re a little social butterfly who loves the attention, but when you show up with a guy you’re already sleeping with, it’s usually considered polite not to dump him off in a corner and fuck around with other guys in front of him.”
“I was fucking working, you asshole!” she shouted at me. “My ability to feed myself depends on getting video and modelling work from those guys, so I’m sorry I didn’t jump up and down to tell them I’m not available.” I put a hand on the doorknob and turned to go, but stopped to look over my shoulder at her, tears now streaming down her face.
“If you want to have a relationship work out sometime, you might want to rethink your career choices, if you’re really so dependent on being fuckable to wannabe rappers for your bread and butter. You don’t have to work for them at all, and you know it.” I turned the knob and opened the door, feelin
g the physical push of the music pounding on my chest. I walked out and headed for the exit, ready to Uber a ride and wait on the doorstep to collect my things and leave.
A small, soft hand on my arm made me pause, and I looked down at C.J. Her nose was red and her eyes watery, but she was still the most beautiful girl there. I knew why they wanted to talk to her, and they had a lot more money than I did, so who was I to expect her to be loyal to me after just a few days?
She jerked her head toward the quiet room, and I followed her back in. I sat on the corner of the lone table inside, and she chose to pace like I had been. I waited for her to speak, but I had nothing left to say.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” she admitted quietly after a long minute. “I’ve been working so hard to brand myself and make a living that isn’t dependent on the stream because I know that isn’t a long-term option. But, I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” She folded her arms across her chest, and her dress shimmered around her legs in the dim overhead light. I was still mad as hell, but there was an ever-growing part of me that wanted to lift her onto the table and remind her that she was mine.
“I don’t like being made a fool of, C.J., no one does.” I moved to get past her before my hands started moving of their own volition, but she grabbed my arm.
“Let me get used to this, okay? You said you’d understand when I found the things I had to give up. Well, there are guys out there who only hire girls they might be able to fuck. I never have, but that’s not what matters to them. Don’t go. I will do better, I promise.” I looked at her eyes, shining with unshed tears, and cursed to myself. It was as close to an apology as I was going to get, and even though my head told me to head back to Texas, my body just wanted to push up that silky dress and remind her that she was mine.
I stifled the urge to fuck her against the wall, and let her hug me instead. She pressed her head against my chest and I felt her breathe deeply as she stood with her arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing tight.