by Kelli Walker
“You’re too much,” she said breathlessly.
“Or maybe I’m just enough for you,” I said.
Her smiling eyes met mine and I felt a warmth blanket my body. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever come across. The perfect mixture of playful, innocent, and serious. She was smarter than even I gave her credit for and talent oozed from her body.
Usually I considered women lucky to be in my presence.
But with her, it was different.
With Joanna, I was lucky to be in hers.
“I call you ‘songbird’ because that was what first captivated me about you,” I said. “Sure, when I saw a picture of you I thought you were hot. No man could deny that about you. During the time the orchestra was warming up, the only thing on my mind was what your lips would taste like.”
I watched her blush as I reached out and took her hand again.
“But when you started singing, that thought fell from my mind. I went from knowing what you might taste like to craving more of your voice. I wanted it to fill me. To rush over me and pull me into another world. Your music does that to me, and I’m a man who will openly profess that I can’t stand classical music.”
“And now?” Joanna asked.
“I still find it boring,” I said with a grin. “But not when you sing it. When you sing, Joanna, it captivates me. Like a songbird on a branch waking with the sun.”
“You ever thought about becoming a poet?” she asked.
“Not enough money in it for me,” I said with a wink.
The two of us continued to talk over dinner. I forgot about Slate and I forgot about the security team in the living room and I forgot about work. It was Joanna and I, sitting at a table, eating a dinner she had cooked, and talking about our lives. Our pasts. What we were going through. How things would change in the future. It felt domestic. It felt natural.
I felt myself warming up to the idea of having a family.
I cleaned up the kitchen and went in search of Joanna, hoping to spend some more time with her. I figured I could press us some fresh juice, or make us a milkshake and talk some more. Or take in a movie. Or cuddle in front of the fire and watch the sun set over Chicago.
But I found her in her room. Curled up underneath the covers and already sleeping.
I sat on the edge of her bed and smoothed her hair from her face. I leaned in and kissed her forehead, watching as she stirred. She nuzzled closer into my side and wrapped her body around me, curling in on herself until I was cradled against her stomach. I ran my fingers through her hair until her breathing evened back out, then I left the room and shut the door behind me.
I heard my phone vibrating on the couch, and I knew I couldn't ignore his phone calls any longer.
“It’s about time you picked up,” James said.
“I’ve been a little busy,” I said. “Is something wrong?”
“I should be asking you that same question. Maynard and his guys are in Chicago, aren’t they?”
“I’m surprised you’re just now putting that together. They’ve been here for almost four hours,” I said.
“What’s happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“You never personally request them to go anywhere with you unless something’s very wrong.”
“I forget how long you’ve worked with me.”
“You forget how long we’ve been friends, too,” he said.
“Slate is in Chicago,” I said. “He made a threat towards Joanna, so I came out here to check on her.”
“Joanna?” he asked.
“Leone? The opera singer?”
“Why would he make a threat against some random opera singer we went to go see?”
“Because I got her pregnant,” I said.
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
“Joanna’s pregnant with my child. That’s why Slate threatened her. At least, I’m assuming that’s why he did.”
“I don’t even know how to begin to unpack that statement,” he said.
“The day I flew out for Chicago, I was in my apartment. I saw a shadow underneath my front door while we were talking. You know, when I was telling you I would be taking time off?”
“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I didn’t know what was going on. You know how you said you couldn’t get through to my cell phone all day that day?”
“Yeah? So?”
“Slate was using a cell phone jammer. He had isolated me to my apartment without me realizing it, then he tacked a note up to my door.”
“Wait, he got to your apartment?” he asked.
“Past security and everything. And he did it again here.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s… look, it’s a lot. A lot is going on, but here’s what you need to know. Joanna’s pregnant and Slate’s trying to use her as revenge for something I did when I was a kid. Just a teenager.”
“I know about your rough past,” he said.
“You don’t know the half of it. Slate feels wronged and he’s looking for equal payback. And that equal payback is Joanna. The team is here with me to keep her safe until I can figure out how to get rid of this asshole.”
“Well, there is some good news.”
“What?” I asked.
“Ever since that last letter same in, things have been quiet around here.”
“I’m not worried about that letter. You told me a few days ago that it was postmarked for before I left. Which means Slate’s following me. He sent that letter, I left for Chicago before I could receive it, and now he’s in Chicago. So the good thing is the company isn’t what he’s after. It’s only me.”
“Then I’m glad you’ve got Maynard there. He’ll stop you from doing something stupid,” he said.
“How are things with the product launch? We’re in the second stage of testing, right?”
“Yep. It’ll kick off tomorrow. I’m not worried about it.”
“You sounded worried in the ten emails you sent me today.”
“Because massive flaws are still being found. We’re paying these developers a lot of money. I figured we would’ve been passed the ‘major flaws’ portion of this project,” he said.
“Cut them some slack. We’re going something no one else has ever done in this field. It’ll take some time. It’s why the launch date isn’t until the end of the year.”
“If you’re not worried, then I’ll try not to worry.”
“Which means you’ll worry until this thing gets pushed to market.”
“You know me so well,” he said. “Now, I’m going to address you getting a girl pregnant.”
“I’m surprised it took you this long to hone in on the topic.”
“When the hell did you have the time to get Joanna Leone pregnant?”
“Remember that donation I told you I was going to give The Met?”
“The one you had to give that night, no questions asked?”
“Yep. Well, I gave the donation. Then I went to meet Joanna backstage,” I said.
“Of course you fucking did.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t be upset. I sat with you during that entire performance. We were practically on a date,” I said.
“I specifically told you not to fuck her.”
“Sorry, Mom. Didn’t mean to disappoint you.”
“So what are you going to do? With her, I mean.”
“What any other man should do. I’m sticking around,” I said.
“So the self-professed loner is suddenly going to be a father?”
“Do you have any other options?” I asked. “She’s carrying my child, James. She’s in trouble because of me. I’m not going to abandon her, and I sure as hell am not going to let her do this alone.”
“Sounds like a little more than you just ‘sticking around’,” he said.
“Well whatever it sounds like, nothing can go
forward until Slate’s out of the picture. And I plan on remedying that issue before I come back.”
“Will Miss Leone be coming back with you?” he asked.
“We had a bit of an argument about that the first time I brought it up. One step at a time,” I said.
“What? You mean there’s someone out there that doesn’t listen to every word you say? Oh, I gotta meet this girl.”
“You’re a dick.”
“It’s why you keep me around. So what do you want me doing while you run around and play Rambo?”
“Rambo?”
“Yes. Rambo. Sylvester Stallone?”
“I know who Rambo is, you asshole,” I said. “I’m not Rambo.”
“You’re acting like Rambo.”
“I’m not some loner running around in the jungle trying to blow off people’s heads with rocket launchers.”
“Did Rambo have rocket launchers?” James asked.
“Beside the point. What I want you doing is what you’ve been doing since I left. I don’t know when I’m going to be back into town, so if people start wondering tell them I’m on a research business trip.”
“Fine. But keep your laptop close. I won’t hesitate to email you if shit starts going south.”
“Trust me, I know you won’t.”
“And Robert?”
“Yep?”
“I don’t know all the details, and I’m not making you tell them to me. But tell them to Maynard. The last thing I need is someone finding your dead body in an alleyway in Chicago.”
“Aw, James. I didn’t know you cared.”
“I’m serious. You don’t have to tell me, especially since things have cooled down here. But tell Maynard. He’s not there for Miss Leone. He’s there for both of you.”
“Yep. Will do,” I said.
“Yeah, I know that tone of voice,” he said. “Don’t die on me. I can’t run this company without you.”
“Can’t handle the pressure?” I asked.
“No. I hate dealing with the media. Your attention-whoring ass loves that shit.”
“Talk to you later,” I said with a grin.
“Stay safe, Robert. I mean that.”
I hung up the phone and stared out over the dark expanse of Chicago. The only way to guarantee Joanna the life she deserved was to wipe Slate out of the picture. It made me sick to my stomach to think about. It meant I would have to touch a part of me I had buried and long since tried to forget about. But if I was going to battle Slate, then I was going to have to draw from the man he thought he knew.
The man I had been hell-bent on burying for the past seventeen years.
I was going to have to draw from Boulder in order to give Joanna the life she wanted.
The only problem was, I wasn’t sure if she would stay with me once I did.
Joanne
“Shut up, bitch!”
I jerked awake and bolted upright in bed. Beads of sweat were permeating my brow as I slung my legs over my bed. I’d been with Robert at his place for a little over a week, and even though I was being watched over the nightmares were getting worse. Lacey came to see me before she left for New York, jetting off to her promising new career and leaving me in Chicago. I couldn’t close my eyes at night without seeing that man’s face. Smiling in the lobby before I was thrust into the darkness.
I padded across the soft carpeted floor and headed for the bathroom. I flipped on the light, squinting as I shielded my eyes. My hands were shaking as I turned on the water. I needed to bring myself out of my dream. I needed to root myself in reality.
I needed to remind myself I was in Robert’s rented penthouse. Not some warehouse off the side of an alleyway.
I splashed some water in my face before I took a good, hard look at myself. I didn’t look much different. Same colored eyes. Same colored skin. Same small lips and long, blonde hair. But I felt different. Inside, I felt like a different person. A different woman. Some days I felt stronger than I ever had in my life, and other days I felt weaker by the minute. Like at any moment, I would burst into tears and drown out our living space.
I was in a weak moment.
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath as a knock came at the bathroom door. I jumped, my feet slipping on the floor. I fell backwards into the wall, causing a decorative picture to fall off and crash to the floor.
Then the door ripped open and Robert ran to my side.
“Joanna. Are you okay?”
I saw his head whipping around. On an automatic swivel looking for trouble.
“It’s just me,” I said. “What are you doing up?”
“I heard the water turn on and I thought I’d come make sure you were okay.”
“From across the apartment?” I asked.
“I may or may not have already been awake.”
He helped me off the floor, his arms strong around my waist. I reached for a towel and wiped my face off, taking with it the sweat that would’ve given me away. But my cheeks were still red and my eyes were half-hooded with exhaustion. Even though I was standing strong on my feet, there was a reason Robert wasn’t letting go.
“I had a nightmare,” I said.
His arms tightened around me as my cheek fell against his chest.
“I always see him, Robert. Every time I close my eyes, he’s there.”
“You’re safe here. He can’t get to you. If, by some miracle, he were to get through lobby security, he’d have to get through mine. And if he got through mine, then he’d have to get through me. And that’s not happening. Ever.”
“I know. I know,” I said breathlessly. “It’s like I can’t help it.”
“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.
I shook my head against his chest as I fell into his strength. Over the past few days, I’d grown more and more accustomed to how his arms felt around me. How reassuring his grip was and how comforting his voice had become to my ears. It was like being wrapped up in my favorite aria and allowing the music to whisk me away.
Robert was becoming the music that kept me afloat.
Ever since he made me that promise to keep me safe, I had been. There wasn’t a moment I was around him where I didn’t feel protected. Even when we did venture out to get more food or find me something to help with some new ache in my body, I felt safe. Exposed to the masses, but tucked protectively against his side. Underneath his arm.
Guarded by his promise.
“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” Robert asked.
“Nothing that will take away my nightmares, I don’t think,” I said.
“Then is there anything I can do that you want? Doesn’t have to make anything go away. Maybe something to comfort you?”
I looked up into his eyes and found a sincerity I was seeing for the first time. A compassion I hadn’t seen in him before that made part of me ache for him. He was empathizing with me.
He knew what it was like to have these kinds of nightmares.
What a frightened little boy he must’ve been.
“Could you stay with me until I fall back asleep?” I asked.
“Of course. Let’s get you back in bed.”
He scooped me up in his arms and a small giggle fell from my lips. He placed me back in bed and rolled the covers over me, then perched on the edge. I reached out for his hand as my head settled into the pillow, but my body wanted more. It wanted to be closer to him.
I wanted to be closer to him.
I tugged on his hand, but he didn’t make a move to get in bed with me. I curled myself around him, my arm slinking around his waist. I pulled a little harder but he still didn’t move. Like there was some invisible force-field he wasn’t willing to cross.
“We’re already pregnant,” I said with a grin. “There isn’t much more we can screw up here.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Robert said.
“Then why won’t you get in bed with me?” I asked.
“Because you want me here until you go t
o sleep. And if I get in bed with you, I’m not sure I’ll be able to move away.”
“Then don’t,” I said plainly.
I brought his hand to my cheek and felt his warm palm rest against it. My hand slid up his arm, then ran down his strong back. I watched his legs tense. His thick, strong thighs flexing to try and hold him back.
I wanted him close to me. It didn’t matter to me if he stayed. All I wanted was to feel close to him..
A smile slid across Robert’s cheeks and it made my heart skip a beat. I had no idea what this man was doing to me, but I was falling further into his gravitational pull. I scooted over and he slid underneath the covers, his strong legs pressing against mine. I slipped my thigh between his and lifted my head, allowing his arm to work behind my body. I scooted closer to him. Pressed my chest closer to his. Nuzzled so close our noses were touching before my face fell into the crook of his neck.
“Is this better?” Robert asked.
“Yes,” I said with a nod. “It’s perfect.”
Then a yawn escaped from my lips as my eyes fluttered closed, my body melting into Robert’s grasp.
And instead of Slate popping into my mind, Robert did. With his cheeky little grin and his big sculpted muscles and his low commanding voice.
I dreamt about him as he held me tightly, protecting me while I slept.
Robert
“I have to admit, I’m shocked you’re back,” the doctor said.
“Plans change on a dime with me,” I said. “Thank you for seeing us.”
“Not a problem. Let me ask momma here a few questions. Miss Leone, how are you feeling?”
“I’m okay,” Joanna said. “Very tired. Nausea’s still persistent.”
“Any bleeding?” the doctor asked.
“No,” she said.
“Any pain?”
“Lots of pelvic pain.”
“Back pain?”
“Nope.”
“Abdominal pain?”
“A little twinge here and there, but nothing major. Is that a bad thing?”