Guardian

by Heather Burch

  She stiffened. “You mean away from Mace.” Did he really expect her to just run away? Maybe running was what Raven did best. In the amount of time it took lightning to flash, Nikki’s emotion toward Raven shifted. “I’d never walk away. I owe them.” The pain materialized in his gaze, and she could almost hear his thoughts. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping he wouldn’t give those words voice. But of course he did. This was Raven, after all.

  “What about the guy who was willing to die for you?”

  It sounded like such a self-serving comment, the kind of bargain small children make. You do this for me and I’ll do that for you. “Don’t do this, Raven, please.”

  “You say you want a stabilizer, Nikki. But I know you. You don’t want safe ground. You want castle ruins where you can stand on the edge, where maybe it will stay firm and maybe it will crumble.” He let his hands roam over her arms, her back. “How long will it take before you’re bored out of your mind? How long until Mace’s firm foundation closes around you like a cage?”

  Part of her wanted to shut him out completely, but part wanted to agree. If there was one thing Nikki’d always feared, it was being trapped. So much so she’d dreamed about it as a child: the cold, unforgiving floor, the bars where she pressed her face, the desperation to feel the air beyond the stifling confines of the prison. She shook her head against the memory, but the gilded cage would not dissipate. “I don’t know. Okay? I. Don’t. Know. Can we please just give this more time?”

  He dropped his hands from her with chilling reserve. “Why? You’ve made your choice. And as I recall, giving you time didn’t work out so well for us.” Raven took a few steps back.

  This is for the best. She pulled a shaky breath, released it slowly. “Yes, I have made my choice.”

  “You know I’m not going to sit around and watch. You don’t expect me to, right?”

  Fresh waves of panic unfurled in her chest. “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

  The garage door was open, but Raven stopped a distance away from it and got off the bike.

  Nikki stared at him, questions glistening in her night-darkened eyes. Lights from Viennesse illuminated the grounds, giving it a homey glow. He wouldn’t let the image take root in his psyche. It was hard enough leaving already.

  Off the motorcycle and standing beside him, she tilted her head. “Why didn’t you ride on into the garage?” Apprehension captured her voice.

  “I’m not staying.” His voice was solid. Solid as a rock. “What? Where will you go?” She started to reach out. Raven stepped back, erecting an invisible wall between them. It’s what he had to do to survive this. “I still have work to do at the lab in Arkansas.”

  “So you were the one sending information to Zero.”

  “Yeah.” Raven ran a hand over the smooth gas tank. A lone bird in flight. Just like him. Nowhere to rest, nowhere to call home. And no one along for the ride. Nikki would drive the motorcycle in and cover it with the lifeless tan tarp. There his bike would wait in lonely silence and fading hope, perhaps forever like some of the others.

  “Have you been in the lab this whole time?” Concern filled her words, along with a little bit of … urgency. Yes, she was eager to keep him talking, keep him engaged in conversation. Keep him there. But that didn’t matter. His course was set.

  “In and out. The air vents there are safe enough to hide in during the day, and nights I’ve stayed in the barn.”

  “Isn’t there a guard?”

  “Yeah, I guess you could call him that. Anyway, there’s more information to obtain and now is the perfect time. There’s hardly anyone in the lab. It’s like there’s been a mass exodus or something. I think they routed everyone to another facility when they hired the new geneticists.”

  “When you’re done there, then you’ll come back here?” Was that hope blooming in her? He almost couldn’t wait to squish it. Until her eyes found his. There, trapped in the soft rays of moonlight, was his Nikki—hands clasped innocently in front of her, teeth nibbling on her bottom lip. The girl he’d rescued on countless occasions, the one who threw her arms around his neck and squealed at the chance to feed a dolphin, the one who loved him. And the one who was just too scared to accept the truth attached to those feelings.

  Her eyes swam in fresh pools of tears. It made leaving that much harder. “No. I’m not coming back.” Harder. Not impossible.

  “Raven, please. Stay here. Don’t go back to the lab.” She grabbed his arms in a vice grip. “Something awful is going to happen.”

  He cocked his head like the defiant bird on his Harley. “If I stay here, it’s with you.”

  The moisture in her eyes shrank back into the ducts. He sensed her resignation rise slowly as she accepted his plan and his fierce inflexibility. Nikki shook her head and let her hands fall to her sides—she was stubborn too.

  “Then I’ll see ya around. When you’re ready to fly, let me know.”

  She choked on a sob. “Raven—”

  He cut her off. “Do me a favor?”

  She nodded. “Anything.”

  “Don’t tell anyone I was here.”

  “What?” Confusion scrunched her face, adding a new dimension. It was better than the pain so evident a moment before.

  “If I’m going, I’d just as soon they continue thinking I’m dead.”

  “Raven, I can’t lie.” The wind caught Nikki’s hair, and he tried not to notice the strands dancing around her shoulders, playing against her upper arms.

  “You don’t have to. It’s what they already think.”

  “No, it’s not. They all think you’re alive and just playing the loner.”

  That shouldn’t hurt, but it did. “There’s just no loyalty at all, is there?” he mumbled.

  “Please stay.” He knew it was her last-ditch plea.

  So he countered with one of his own. “With you?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Like I said, when you’re ready, you know how to find me.”

  She frowned. “No, I don’t.”

  “You found me tonight. Follow your heart, Nikki. No matter where it roams, it’ll always lead you back to me, because my heart is always calling to yours. You can choose not to listen for a while, but eventually you’ll go where it’s leading you.” And then he stepped close and kissed her.

  Raven’s lips roamed lightly over hers until she responded. Again, her body reacted without her mind’s consent. A moment later she was lost in a spinning, sinking whirlpool of wonder and magic. His lips were alive against hers and a million butterflies seemed to take flight everywhere their skin touched. Gentle electricity tickled over her flesh, causing the strangest sensation. A roller coaster submerged in honey. Utterly trapped by the world below, then careening over hills and into valleys as if free, every motion thick and sweet. His hands were flattened against her back, just as he always did whenever … whenever she needed him. Fear lit a fire in Nikki’s veins, and it burned like a match that ignited her blood. With it, a realization she couldn’t bear to face.

  She needed him.

  The press of her mouth intensified against Raven’s. A tiny cry escaped.

  I need him. And he’s leaving.

  Nikki wound her arms around his neck in a useless attempt to keep him, but a violent conflict raged within. She could have him and lose Mace. Or she could let him go. As if he heard the battle, understood her struggle, Raven broke the kiss.

  When he did, her fingertips flew to her mouth, desperately ashamed of her actions and desperately trying to retain the feel of his lips on hers—both emotions wove together as he took a step back. Her hand stretched to stop him, but her legs were still stuck in the rich honey that had poured from his kiss.

  Through his long bangs, one eye winked. And for the first time ever, Nikki couldn’t read the story swimming in his midnight-blue eyes. He’d masked what he’d always shown her—his truest feelings, deepest emotion
s. Gone. Hidden from her.

  He shot a look up to the sky, gaze flittering from star to star. “When you’re ready to fly …”

  Then he took one more step back, snapped his wings open, and leapt.

  Nikki stood for a long time gazing at the night he’d disappeared into. Over and over his words echoed in her head. When you’re ready to fly …

  “I’m sorry, man,” Gearhead mumbled as they watched Nikki.

  Mace’s jaw ached; this was the third time he’d seen Nikki and Raven kiss. Doesn’t get any easier.

  “I thought you and Nikki were—” Gearhead glanced at him in the garage’s dim light.

  Mace hardened. “We were.”

  Gearhead wiped his hands on the shop towel he kept tucked in his waistband. “Look, I’ll give you two some space.”

  Mace thrust out a hand as the mechanic passed. “Don’t bother.”

  “You couldn’t hear what they were saying, and things aren’t always the way they look.”

  Mace glared.

  “Yeah, okay, that was pretty obvious.”

  “Ya think?” Without another word, Mace crossed the garage and headed back into the main house, wondering if he’d already lost the girl he’d recently reclaimed.

  Chapter 17

  Hi,” Nikki said, peeking her head into Mace’s room.

  Back to her, he shoved something into a bag with so much force it made her jump. He didn’t answer her greeting. “Can I come in?”

  “Sure, but I’m on my way out,” he said, words clipped. Nikki frowned while he manhandled the zipper of the backpack, as if he had some personal vendetta against it. “Where are you going?”

  He finally relented when the zipper stuck. He huffed out an angry breath and left it half open. “Some of the guys are going to a friend’s house to hang out for a few hours.”

  Okay, everything was wrong with that statement. First of all, Halflings didn’t just go to friend’s houses to hang out. So where was he really going, and why was Mace acting like he’d eaten nails for breakfast? “Who’s the friend?”

  “You don’t know him.”

  She chewed her lip. “Is it close?”

  “Across the Rhine Valley, in France.”

  When she dropped her gaze to the floor, he exhaled. “It’s at another ancestral home. A group of Halflings lives there. We won’t be gone that long.”

  “Is it similar to the one here?” She wanted him to keep talking. Maybe if he did, she’d break through that tough shell of … well, of whatever it was.

  “Yup.”

  “Is it the only one in France?”

  “That I know of. But I don’t know where the females hang out when they aren’t infiltrating our domain.” On Will’s instructions, Winter, Vegan, and Glimmer were staying at Viennesse in case something happened.

  Nikki thought back to the first conversation she and Mace had about Halflings. They’d sat on the back porch of the twostory house Will and the boys had rented in her hometown. “That’s right. Until this journey, you hadn’t met any female Halflings.” Raven, on the other hand, seemed to know them and know them well. Of course, Raven had been on more journeys than Mace, and was the kind of guy who had no problem chatting up girls.

  A muscle in Mace’s cheek twitched. “So, I’ll see you later,” he said, and started to step past her.

  Nikki glanced outside at the bright morning sun spilling through the window. “But it’s supposed to be really nice out today, and I thought maybe we could take one of the cars and see the countryside.”

  He spun on his heel just as he reached the door. “Haven’t you seen enough of it?”

  What did that mean? She hadn’t been outside the castle walls other than their picnic and her trip last night. Fear filled her system.

  Could he know about that? “Mace, I need to talk to you about something.”

  The only acknowledgement he’d even heard her was the quirking of his brows. Those cerulean-blue eyes she usually found comfort in were brimmed with tension and bore into her. At last he looked away, focusing on the wall by the window. She could almost feel his pain reaching its hungry fingers toward her.

  “I did something last night.”

  His head tipped back a degree as if readying for a punch he’d seen in advance. “What?”

  Nikki rubbed her hands together, nervous energy seeking escape from her body. “I took Raven’s motorcycle.”

  His mouth hardened. “What happened?”

  She forced a steadying breath and leaned her weight against the wall alongside the open door for support. “Well, I thought if I went to the castle ruins, maybe I could help him. Zero thought Raven was sending information, but then Zero also said he thought Raven could be dead, and—” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I was really confused. So I went.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “And?”

  She blinked, frowned. “And I shouldn’t have done it.”

  The muscle in Mace’s jaw tightened, highlighting the usually smooth lines of his face. He stood there, unwavering. Very Mace-like. But he had an edge as well. An unfriendly, almost mean edge that was most unMace-like. “That’s all you have to tell me?”

  A battle was laid out before them, but neither seemed ready to fire the first shot. If she told him Raven had been there, she’d be breaking a promise. Maybe the last promise she’d ever make to Raven. After all he’d done for her, it didn’t seem right to divulge his secret. Even to Mace.

  The uneasy nod of her head broke their stalemate.

  Suddenly, the backpack’s stubborn zipper was forced to absorb the full impact of his frustration. He launched into a furious fight with it while she watched, mouth gaping.

  After a few awkward moments, she stepped to him and took the backpack into her own hands. “A bit of the material is stuck,” she whispered so as not to disturb any more of the hornets needling his flesh. Using soft back-and-forth motions, she worked the zipper until the cloth was freed.

  “Thanks,” he muttered.

  She held the bag out to him. When he reached for it, his hand fell against hers, but he snatched it away from her touch. “Mace, what’s wrong?”

  He became deathly calm as he fingered the now-functioning zipper. “You’ve got some things you need to figure out, Nikki. Being in a relationship with someone means there are certain boundaries. I’m not really sure how you feel about Raven or about me. But you can’t feel the same for both of us, so you’re either lying to yourself about me or you’re lying to yourself about him. Either way, you’re intentionally fooling yourself. You need to make a choice. Then you need to stick with the rules, because I’m sick of feeling like this.” Before she could answer, he stepped past her and left the room.

  Nikki blinked when the door closed. “I have made a choice,” she whispered to the empty space. It felt like tiny needles pierced her heart. But with that sensation an unsettling irritation formed. Stick to the rules? Was he kidding? What rules are there anymore? She didn’t want to hurt Mace, ever. But she’d stared death in the face over and over, and had been spared by either him or Raven. A person can’t just flip a switch and expect to be able to sort through the emotions that causes.

  What did she know about love, anyway? All she knew was how she felt, and that was an untrustworthy measuring device to be sure. The girl who’d never had a boyfriend was now surrounded by tall, beautiful angelic beings compelled to protect her.

  Unsteady legs carried Nikki to the window. The wall clock ticked. A bird sailed past the stone opening, pausing in midflight. She watched its effortless movements as it gathered speed for a nosedive toward the courtyard. A smaller bird followed, unsteady, less fluid than the first. “Learning to fly?” she uttered, but as the question left her mouth, the reference to Raven’s last words to her rushed fresh and blistering in her mind. She stepped away from the window … and saw the opening resembled a cage. Nikki ran out of the room, rejecting the notion that her stone palace was quickly becoming her prison. And that may
be Raven really was the only one with a key.

  After Mace left to go “hang out at a friend’s house,” Nikki made her way to the girls’ room. Glimmer and Vegan shared a room, while Winter had her own. But more likely than not, the three were together in their own little clique. If not gathered in Winter’s domain, than in the other room. Nikki wasn’t used to searching out camaraderie, but after her argument with Mace, she needed a friend, maybe three.

  Winter’s room was empty, so she traversed the hall, walking slowly and thinking how out of character it was for her to search out support from other girls. A huge part of her wondered who she’d become. When she made it to the door, she could hear the females talking on the other side. Even through the thick mahogany, their words rang clear. She lifted her hand to knock, until she heard Glimmer say her name.

  Nikki’s hand froze in midair.

  “I can see her messing around with Raven—I mean, he’s always got one foot in the dark side, but I’m surprised she and Mace are taking such a risk. It’s not like him. He knows better, and to throw away your eternity for a human—it’s beyond stupid. That’s not the kind of thing Mace does. And I can’t believe she’s letting him! They’re walking around here like teenagers in love. Please. Happy today, eternity in hell tomorrow. Like she’s worth it. Like any human is worth it.”

  “Relax, Glimmer,” Vegan’s voice soothed. “We haven’t really known Mace that long, certainly not long enough to make judgments about him.”

  “I think his eyes have gotten darker. We all know what that means.’”

  Nikki’s hand fisted. When Halflings’ eyes darkened, it meant they were giving in to evil. Was Mace slipping into darkness because of her? She hadn’t noticed any changes …

  Glimmer continued. “Mace is awesome, and there are plenty of Halfling girls who would love to have him fawning over them like that. Girls who understand him and his life, girls who can fight shoulder to shoulder with him.”

  “Are you volunteering?”

  “No. I’ve actually got my eye on Raven right now. Provided he gets back here soon. I’m not going to wait forever.”