by Leigh Bale
“I’ll take her upstairs,” he said.
“Ja, it’s getting late. Reuben should be finished with his bath and ready for bed, too,” Naomi said.
Reaching over, Jakob snatched Ruby up and swung her high. The girl squealed with glee as he tickled her ribs and kissed her sweet-smelling neck.
Abby laughed at their gaiety and he paused, looking at her for just a moment. Finally, he found his voice.
“Um, danke.”
“Ja, danke, Abby,” Ruby said.
She showed another timid smile. “You’re most willkomm, sweetheart.”
Jakob hurried toward the stairs, carrying Ruby with him. His face burned with bewilderment. For a few minutes, he’d forgotten that Abby wasn’t Susan. That after he put his children to bed, he’d have to retire alone. There would be no one there to whisper with him in the darkness as they recounted the events of their day. No one to discuss the kids or planting or share ideas with or seek advice from. Abby was a constant reminder of all the joy he’d lost, and he couldn’t help wishing he could regain that happiness. But Susan was gone. He had to accept that he would live the rest of his life without a wife. It would be less painful that way.
Chapter Six
As hard as Abby tried to get out the door before everyone else the following morning, she was delayed when she found her shoes filled to the brim with dirt. No doubt Reuben was responsible. She fumed for several minutes, wanting to rant and scream at the boy, but then she remembered the anger she was raised with and decided to exercise self-discipline instead.
Gripping her patience, she walked outside to the backyard in her stockinged feet. After emptying her shoes into the garden, she smacked them together to get all the little rocks out. By the time she’d tied the laces and raced out the front door, she arrived at the buggy only to discover that Zeke and Naomi were already in the backseat with the two kids. Which meant she would have to sit in the front seat with Jakob.
Again.
She glanced at Reuben, who looked down at her black sensible shoes. A sly grin flashed across his face before he turned away, looking innocent as a newborn babe.
Abby looked at Dawdi Zeke. Beneath the brim of his straw hat, she saw a sparkle of laughter in his gray eyes.
“There’s no room in the back. You’ll have to sit up front,” he said.
So, he didn’t know what Reuben had done. If she didn’t know better, she would think he’d purposefully planned things so that she would be forced to sit next to Jakob. No doubt he’d been told her true reason for coming to Colorado. She could only assume he was matchmaking, but it would do no good. She and Jakob would never marry now.
Standing beside the buggy, Jakob silently took her hand and helped her up. His rough palm was warm against hers, and the slight smile he gave her only increased her nerves. She felt as though he were forcing himself to be solicitous of her. Like she was one of his chores. Although she was grateful he’d agreed to let her stay here, she didn’t like being where she wasn’t wanted.
She straightened her dark blue skirts, knowing she wouldn’t escape notice. New members always garnered interest at church.
Jakob climbed into the buggy, released the brake and slapped the leads against the horse’s back. As they pulled onto the main road, even the steady clip-clop of the horse’s hooves did nothing to alleviate her worries.
Last night, she’d checked her bed and felt a small victory when she didn’t find any crackers or a snake between her sheets. But now, her apprehension returned when she remembered Bishop Yoder’s words.
There are not enough women of our faith to marry our young men.
She wasn’t interested in being pursued by any men. The thought twisted her insides into knots. She was a stranger here and naturally shy. She didn’t know what to say to young men. As an Amish woman, she knew her duty. To marry and support her husband, raising a gut familye in the faith. She should encourage the eligible bachelors to pay her court. To get to know them and choose one to be her life’s partner. But she couldn’t. Not ever. And that left her feeling rebellious, hopeless and unacceptable to Gott.
“Oh, ne. Look, Grossmammi. I have a hole in my dress,” Ruby said.
Abby turned to look over her shoulder. Sure enough, a large section of seam had come undone in Ruby’s skirt. She tugged on a long thread, then waggled her fingers through the gaping hole, showing a length of bare leg in the process.
“Oh, dear. If we return home so you can change, we’ll be late for church,” Naomi said, her voice sounding flustered.
“It is too late to return home,” Jakob said with finality, giving a light flick of the leads for emphasis.
Naomi looked wilted. “Ach, Ruby can’t run around like this, showing her bare legs to everyone. We’ll have to turn around, Jakob.”
His jaw hardened, and Abby didn’t need to ask why. This wasn’t Ohio where they lived close to their Amish neighbors and could soon be at church. They were far enough outside town that they had to travel eight miles one way to reach their destination. If they turned around now, they would miss most of the meetings, not to mention the fatigue on their horse.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure Mrs. Stoltzfus will have a needle and thread we can borrow,” Abby said. “As soon as we arrive, I’ll ask if there is a private room we can go to, and I’ll quickly mend the dress before our meetings start.”
“Of course. Such an easy solution. I’m not thinking clearly today. Danke, Abby,” Naomi said.
Abby reached back and squeezed the older woman’s hand. “You’re just overly tired. You worked too hard to get all the cakes and breads over to the bakery yesterday. I’ll help you more this next week.”
Naomi gave her a smile of gratitude. “Would you mind working with Jakob on the planting tomorrow? Then I would have time to get the laundry done.”
Abby felt Jakob stiffen beside her and wondered if he’d rather she stayed in the house. But she was a guest here and resigned to doing whatever they asked of her.
“Of course. I’d be happy to help.” Abby smiled, but felt a flutter of unease. Helping with the planting meant she would be working most of the day with Jakob.
“But I usually drive the small wagon,” Zeke said.
Naomi pursed her lips. “Not this year. You’re not a young man anymore, but I’d like to keep you around as long as possible. You’ll rest and help me around the house, and that’s that.”
Abby glanced over her shoulder and saw Zeke blink in surprise at his daughter. He didn’t argue, giving in to common sense.
“Can you drive?” he asked Abby.
She lifted her chin, remembering the eight-hitch team of Belgian draft horses she’d driven numerous times in the fields for her brother. She almost laughed, but felt no humor. And yet, a part of her was grateful she knew how to work hard and was capable of driving a large team.
“Of course,” she said.
“Ach, the hoppers on the planter aren’t big and will need refilling often. You can drive the small wagon with the bags of seed corn,” Zeke said.
“All right.”
As Abby turned to face forward again, she caught Jakob’s glance her way. He seemed deep in thought as he clicked his tongue and gave another slap of the reins.
When they arrived at the Stoltzfuses’ farm, Abby sat up straighter and perused the area. Church was held every other week in a member’s home. The rustic house was made of large brown logs, so different from the white frame homes Abby was used to back east. The front lawn and flower beds were tidy and well cared for, a tall elm tree offering shade over the front door.
A group of women stood clustered together, chatting. They waved as Jakob drove to the back where a row of buggies were lined up along the inside perimeter of the fence. A teenage boy drew their attention, pointing to where they should park. As Jakob pulled the horse to a halt, another boy began unhitching
the animal, then took it away to graze and water until the familye was ready to go home.
Jakob hopped out first, then helped his grandfather and mother. Abby didn’t wait before climbing down, then reached inside to help Ruby. The girl held her torn skirt together, glancing around nervously to see if anyone was witnessing her embarrassing circumstances.
“There’s Aent Ruth and Onkel Will.” Reuben raced toward a young man and obviously pregnant woman.
Reaching for her basket, which contained a pie and two loaves of bread, Naomi smiled at Abby. “Now you’ll get to meet my daughter Ruth.”
Holding Ruby’s hand, Abby followed Naomi toward the house. Men wearing frock coats stood clustered near the barn. Their mixture of black felt and straw hats indicated that the weather was transitioning from winter to spring. Zeke and Jakob headed that way, shaking hands with Will.
Children raced across the yard. Reuben joined the little boys, their boisterous laughter winning a reprimand from one of the mothers.
“How many families are in your congregation?” Abby asked.
“Nine. We’re a small district, but we’re growing fast,” Naomi said.
Hmm. Abby wasn’t so sure. In Ohio, her congregation consisted of thirty families. This definitely was a small district, which could be good and bad.
“Mamm, it’s good to see you.” Ruth embraced first her mother and then Ruby.
Abby caught several curious looks thrown her way, especially from the younger, unshaven men, who were obviously unmarried.
“Look at my dress,” Ruby whispered as she huddled next to her grandmother and showed a peek of her torn skirt to her aunt.
Ruth gasped and shielded the girl from view. “What happened! You can’t go to church like that.”
“I don’t know what happened. I must have snagged it on something. Abby’s gonna fix it for me,” Ruby said.
Naomi made the introductions. “Ruth is my youngest, expecting her first child in a few months.”
“Hallo,” Ruth said, her nose crinkling as she squinted against the bright sunlight.
Abby returned the young woman’s gracious smile and glanced down before speaking very quietly so no one would overhear. “You must be so excited to start your familye.”
Ruth lifted a hand to rest on her rounding stomach and whispered back. “I am. I’m only five months along, but this baby is so active, I’m thinking it must be an unruly boy like Reuben.”
They laughed and Abby’s heart pinched at the thought of having her own sweet little baby.
“Come on. You promised to fix my dress.” Ruby pulled on Abby’s hand, and they all went inside the house.
“Guder daag!” A matronly woman with rosy cheeks and a thick waist greeted them from the kitchen.
“Fannie.” Naomi rushed over and hugged the woman, then leaned close and whispered in her ear.
Fannie glanced at Ruby. “Ja, we’ll get her dress mended in no time.”
Naomi smiled in relief. Several other women and a few older girls were bustling about the room, stirring pots on the stove, checking the oven and setting out plates and utensils for their noon meal later on. Naomi introduced Abby to everyone, and they gave her a friendly smile.
“Willkomm. We’re so glad to have you here,” Fannie said.
“I’m glad to be here.” Abby nodded pleasantly, then zeroed in on Lizzie Beiler, the young woman she had met at the bakery a couple of days earlier. Lizzie was frosting a chocolate cake, but Fannie whispered something to her and she handed over her spatula.
“Hallo, Abby. I understand you need a needle and thread,” Lizzie said.
Ruby nodded eagerly, looking a little anxious. She obviously didn’t want the meeting to start before her skirt had been repaired.
“Ja, if you wouldn’t mind,” Abby said.
“Not at all. Koom with me.” Lizzie led them to the back of the house, where she closed a hall door to give them some privacy. It seemed she knew her way around this home with ease.
“Do you live here?” Abby asked, knowing her last name was Beiler, not Stoltzfus.
“Ne, but I had planned to live here one day. I’m quite close with Fannie and still come here often.” Lizzie’s words were slightly muffled as she reached into a cupboard and pulled out a sewing box.
“Are you related to Fannie?” Abby wouldn’t be surprised if she was. Many of the Amish in a district were related in some way or another. Aunts, cousins, brothers, nephews. In Ohio, they all lived nearby. But here in Colorado, it wasn’t quite the same. Not with its high mountain peaks, deep canyons, wide plateaus and desert valleys that constantly hungered for rain to irrigate crops. Farms were spread far apart, and most of their kin relations had remained back east. They were true pioneers, starting a new life in the Wild West.
“Ne, I was engaged to her son, Eli. But he disappeared several years ago, the day before we were to be baptized.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Abby said.
“He just left without a word to anyone. His parents received a letter from him a week later. He went to Denver, to go to college there.”
Abby caught a note of bitterness in Lizzie’s voice and couldn’t help feeling sympathy for her. “I’m so sorry. That must have hurt you very deeply.”
As she assessed Ruby’s dress so that she could mend the seam, she remembered what Naomi had said about Eli Stoltzfus breaking Lizzie’s heart. No doubt Lizzie had been close with Eli’s parents.
“Ja, it did. I was baptized without him.” Lizzie sat on the bed and threaded a needle before putting a knot in the end. She handed it over to Abby, who also sat and quickly stitched the ripped seam.
“Perhaps you will marry someone else. I understand there are several young men needing brides here in the Riverton area, or perhaps you could find someone in Westcliffe,” Abby said, conscious of Ruby standing in front of her listening quietly to every word.
“Ne, there’s no one here that I’m interested in. And what about you?”
Abby didn’t look up from her needlework. “What about me?”
Out of her peripheral vision, Abby saw Lizzie cast a quick glance at Ruby, who was peering out the window.
“Jakob is handsome and single,” Lizzie whispered low. “Are you going to marry him?”
Not wanting Ruby to take offense at their conversation, Abby shook her head.
“My father keeps threatening to send me back east to live with my grandparents. He believes I could find someone to marry there, but he hasn’t made me go yet,” Lizzie said, her forehead crinkled in a doubtful frown.
Abby inwardly shuddered at the thought of returning to Ohio, but for different reasons. She didn’t get the chance to ask Lizzie if she wanted to go back east. A knock sounded on the door, and Naomi poked her head in.
“Are you ready? They’re about to begin the meeting.”
“Just finished.” Abby bit the thread with her teeth and smoothed the dress to study her handiwork. “It’s as good as new.”
Ruby hugged her tight. “Ach, danke, Abby.”
Abby breathed the girl in, enjoying her sweet innocence. “You’re welcome.”
“Koom on, you three,” Naomi urged.
Ruby bolted toward her grandmother while Abby quickly restored the sewing box to order. She followed Lizzie outside and into the yard. The married women were lined up by age beside the barn. Naomi took her place among them as they filed inside. Through the wide double doors, Abby saw that the married men were already sitting together on hard backless benches. The unmarried women filed in next, and Lizzie took Abby’s hand as they scurried forward. As they paraded down the aisle, Abby was conscious of people watching her. Finally, the unmarried men and boys joined them. One tall young man with bright auburn hair and piercing blue eyes smiled wide at Abby, and she looked away, making a pretense of straightening her apron.
&nb
sp; The men sat together on the other side of the room, facing the women. As Abby tidied her skirts, she looked up. Her gaze locked with Jakob’s from where he sat across from her. He quickly looked away, focusing on the bishop, who stood at the front of the room. The auburn-haired man continued to stare openly at her, leaning across a row to whisper to Jakob. The two spoke together for a moment and Jakob’s gaze lifted to her, then he responded to the auburn-haired man. She had no doubt they were discussing her, and she didn’t like it. No, not one bit.
The vorsinger called out the first note of the opening song in a loud, elongated voice. The congregation joined in, singing in German from the Ausbund, their church hymnal. Without the accompaniment of musical instruments, they drew each note out in a painstakingly slow harmony.
Abby knew the words by heart, but she faltered. The auburn-haired man kept watching her until she became so uncomfortable that she squirmed on her seat. Feeling suddenly miserable, she looked up and caught Jakob’s eye again. He looked down, focusing on the floor, and she felt even worse. He must find her so distasteful that he couldn’t even stand to look at her.
“The man with the red hair is Martin Hostetler,” Lizzie whispered for her ears alone. “He watches all the unmarried girls. He’s twenty-three and wants to get married so bad, but he’s too pushy. I’m kind of glad you’re here so he’ll have someone else to bother instead of me.”
“Gee, thanks,” Abby said, trying not to smile.
Lizzie laughed low. “Just ignore him. That’s what I always do.”
Abby tried. She really did. But as she watched the ministers file out of the room to discuss who should preach to them, she wondered if she should have pleaded a sick stomach and stayed home today. Between Reuben’s open dislike of her, Martin’s rude gawking and Jakob’s obvious discomfort with her presence, she wondered if perhaps she should have remained in Ohio.
* * *
“Please say you’ll go to the singing with me tonight. I’ll drive you home in my buggy afterward.”
Jakob tried to pretend he hadn’t heard the invitation, but he couldn’t help it. Martin Hostetler stood in front of Abby, no more than a stone’s throw away. She held a plate of schnitz apple pie she’d retrieved for Dawdi Zeke. Martin had cut her off as she headed across the front lawn.