by Leigh Bale
Zeke sat in a chair on the lawn, deep in conversation with several other elderly men. Martin had been dogging Abby’s heels ever since they’d ended their meetings and started lunch. As she helped serve the noon meal, Jakob noticed how easily she fit in with the other women, but she was overly quiet and skittish around the men. Especially Martin, who wouldn’t seem to leave her alone. No doubt he was delighted to find an attractive single woman in their midst.
“I’m sorry, but not today.” Abby turned toward Dawdi Zeke, but Martin tugged on her sleeve, holding her back.
“Why not? Jakob said you’re not attached to anyone. Why won’t you go with me to the singing?” Martin persisted.
The singing was a venue after Sunday meetings where young single adults could socialize with one another. Afterward, the young man usually took the young woman home in his buggy...the Amish version of dating.
“I... I’m new here and I don’t know anyone yet. I think it would be best if I go home with the Fishers this afternoon. Perhaps another time.” Her voice sounded low and hesitant, as though she was afraid of angering him.
“Ach, how can you get to know any of us if you don’t stay for the singing? It’ll be fun. You must stay. I insist,” Martin said, taking a step closer.
“I... I don’t...” Abby didn’t finish her sentence. Her face flushed red, a blaze of panic in her eyes. She backed up against the elm tree and hunched her shoulders, looking small and helpless.
Subdued.
“Ahem, excuse me.” Jakob interrupted them in a polite voice. “I think Naomi is looking for you, Abby. She needs you in the kitchen.”
“Ach! I should be helping her, not standing here visiting.” She glanced at Martin. “I won’t be able to join you tonight, but it was nice to meet you. Mach’s gut.”
She spoke so fast that Martin looked startled for a moment.
“Uh, maybe another time.” He waved at her already-retreating back.
She hurried toward the house. Jakob followed, walking beside her, just in case Martin decided to pursue her. A teenage boy bumped into Abby, and she jerked back.
“Excuse me,” she said.
He looked mildly embarrassed before racing off with his friends.
Abby kept going. At the side of the house, she slowed her pace and took a deep inhale.
“Are you all right?” Jakob asked.
“Ja, I’m just a little nervous around crowds of strangers.”
“I hope it was all right for me to interrupt you and Martin,” he said, almost positive that she had wanted to get away from the man.
“Ja, I’m glad you did.”
“He wasn’t bothering you, was he? I know Martin can be a little forceful, but he means well,” Jakob said.
She paused at the door leading into the kitchen. “Ne, I’m fine. Danke for rescuing me,” she said.
“I’m just returning the favor. Danke for helping my mudder. You’re right. She’s overly tired. You’ve been a great benefit to her.” He spoke low, for her ears alone.
Abby leaned slightly closer and gave him a conspiratorial smile. “You’re willkomm, although helping Naomi is easy. She’s so kind. I wish...”
Again, she didn’t finish her thought.
“You wish what?” he pressed.
“Oh, nothing.”
He let it go, but a part of him wondered if she was going to say that she wished she’d had a mother like Naomi.
“How old were you when your mamm died?” he asked instead.
“I was six. I don’t remember her very well. Just bits and pieces, really. I know she loved me, because I remember her comforting me once after my vadder...” She shrugged.
After her father did what? Beat her?
“Life must have been difficult for you growing up,” he said, trying to imagine what she’d been through.
She met his eyes, still holding the plate of pie. “I guess it does no good to pretend with you. You already know the truth.”
“Ja, I know.”
“You...you won’t tell anyone, will you?” She peered askance at him, as though she’d done something wrong and was embarrassed by it.
“Of course not. It wasn’t your fault. Remember that time when I broke the stick over my knee?”
She looked at the ground, not replying.
“I can understand why you’re uneasy around men,” he said.
She whipped her head up, biting her bottom lip. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to me, because I know what happened. And I’m sorry for it.”
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault either,” she said.
And yet, a part of him wished his familye hadn’t moved away. That he could have stayed in Ohio and been there to intercede for her more often. It seemed he’d always been her protector of sorts. For some reason, it came naturally to him. But if he hadn’t moved to Colorado, he never would have met Susan. Never would have known the exquisite love they had shared; never would have had his two beautiful children. Or at least, he didn’t think so.
“You must be very angry at your vadder and Simon,” he said.
She released a long sigh. “I was when I was very young, but not anymore. Simon is what my vadder created of him. He didn’t know anything else. But the anger has to stop somewhere, so why not with me? Besides, the Lord has sustained me through it all. In my loneliest moments, He has been there beside me.”
“You’re not angry at Gott?” he asked.
“Ne, why should I be? I found comfort knowing He was there. And though I don’t always understand His plans, He has brought me here to Colorado, where I can have a fresh start.”
Jakob caught the conviction in her voice. He couldn’t imagine ever reprimanding this woman, even when she was a mischievous child. If anyone tried to hurt Ruby, he’d be furious. And yet, anger wasn’t what Gott expected from him. Even after losing Susan and his father, Jakob knew he should forgive Gott and turn the other cheek. He should have more faith.
“Will you take this to Dawdi Zeke for me? I didn’t get the chance, and he’s expecting it.” She held up the pie.
“Of course.” He took the plate from her hands, watching as she turned and slipped into the house.
A feeling of compassion swept over him, but something else, as well. Respect and admiration.
“Hallo, Jakob.”
He turned. Bishop Yoder stood behind him, still wearing his frock coat.
“Bishop.” Jakob nodded respectfully.
“Did you enjoy the meetings today?”
“Ja, very much.” Which was true. Jakob loved being with people of his own faith. But honestly, he could remember very little of the sermons. His thoughts had been centered almost entirely on Abby.
The older man jutted his chin toward the house. “I couldn’t help noticing that you were just speaking with Abby.”
“Ja, she just went inside to help my mudder in the kitchen.”
“How are things working out with her living in your home?”
“Gut. She is a great help on the farm.”
“Have you reconsidered a possible marriage with her?”
Jakob blinked. He hadn’t expected the bishop to be so blunt. “I’m afraid nothing has changed. I still love Susan. I can’t consider marrying another woman anytime soon.”
Bishop Yoder lowered his head for several moments, as though thinking how to respond. Then, he spoke in a soft, kind voice. “Before He was crucified, the Savior gave His apostles a new commandment that they should love one another. That commandment extends to us, as well. The Lord’s capacity to love was absolute, unconditional and unrestrained. As we treat one another with service, compassion and respect, our love increases. It isn’t limited, and it never runs out.”
Jakob was speechless. What was the bishop saying? That if he treated Abby with service, compassion
and respect, he would love her? That might be true, but he couldn’t love her as a man should love his wife. Not a romantic love. When Susan had died, Jakob had felt bewildered, confused and frightened. He was stuck in limbo and couldn’t seem to move past her memory.
“Would you still have married Susan, even knowing that you would lose her one day?” the bishop asked.
Jakob nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely.”
“Then would you say that loving and being with her even for a short time was worth the pain of losing her?”
Again, Jakob wondered what the bishop was getting at. He didn’t like to play mind games. “Ja, I would do it all over again, even knowing that I would lose her one day.”
“She would want you to be happy, Jakob. Don’t be afraid to love again,” the bishop said.
Afraid? Jakob wasn’t afraid. Not really. Okay, maybe a little bit. He was afraid of loving and losing again. He couldn’t go through that trauma a second time, and he didn’t want to put his children through it either.
The bishop glanced to where Martin stood conversing with several young men his age. “I also noticed Abby speaking with Martin Hostetler. I know he is eager to find a wife, and he seems very interested in her.”
“Ja, he asked her to stay for the singing time with him, but she declined.”
Jakob felt a bit defensive. He didn’t want Abby to spend time with the other man, but that wasn’t fair. She was young and pretty and should have some fun. She deserved all the joy this world could offer. And Martin was a nice enough man. He deserved to be happy, too.
Bishop Yoder shrugged. “She is still new here, but that will soon change. One day, some smart young man will realize that she’s worth it, too.”
Jakob caught the hint, but it didn’t make a difference. Not for him. Abby would make some other man a fine wife. A kind, patient man she could love and grow old with.
He thought it was ironic that she didn’t blame Gott for the sadness in her life. Instead, she relied on the Lord. Her faith sustained her. In contrast, Jakob’s faith had faltered. Losing his wife and father had devastated him. He’d felt abandoned and lost. Angry even. Perhaps he could learn some valuable lessons from Abby’s humble heart. But marriage to her? Definitely not.
Chapter Seven
The next morning, Abby stepped out onto the back porch and picked up the wire basket they used to collect eggs. Sunlight streamed across the yard, chasing the chill out of the spring air.
Inside the house, she could hear Naomi humming as she sorted laundry. Jakob had driven Reuben to school in the buggy. As usual, the boy had scowled deeply when he discovered that Abby had prepared his lunch. Once again, she’d written an uplifting note and hidden it in his sandwich wrapper where he was sure to find it. Hopefully it would help soften his heart toward her.
Crossing the yard, she headed for the chicken coop, swinging the wire basket beside her. She would get the barn chores done before she needed to help Jakob plant the field corn.
As she passed the barn, she heard a faint sound, almost like the cry of a child. She looked up. The door to the hayloft stood wide open, and she thought Jakob must be airing it out after the long winter. Soon, the fields would be burgeoning with newly planted corn and hay. Tomorrow or the next day, she would plant carrots, beets and peas. Each vegetable did well in cooler climates. She’d have to wait a bit longer to plant tomatoes and squash.
The sound came again and she paused, listening for a moment. Hmm, she must be imagining things.
Continuing on her way to the coop, she let herself inside. The musty smell of chickens and dust made her nose twitch. She gazed through the dim interior, noticing that all but one hen had vacated their nests. The remaining chicken gave a disgruntled cluck and tilted its head, staring at Abby with its dark, beady eyes.
“You’re a slowpoke today. But don’t worry. I’ll give you some extra time before I take your eggs,” Abby promised with a soft laugh.
The hen clucked again, as though in agreement. Abby searched the other nests first, placing the white and brown eggs carefully in her basket. She worked quickly, removing any wood shavings from the nests that were particularly dirty and replacing them with fresh straw. When she was finished, she looked at the mother hen and rested one hand on her waist.
“Aren’t you finished yet? Or are you going to stay there all day?” Abby asked.
The red hen just stared back at her.
Moving gently but quickly, Abby lifted the hen and removed the eggs from her nest. The hen barely noticed, and Abby smiled with satisfaction.
“I’m all done. I’ll see you later this evening, and I hope you’re off the nest by that time.”
With her basket filled, Abby stepped outside into the sunlight and closed the door. As she secured the latch on the hen house, she heard the strange sound again. A faint mewl that died off quickly. Definitely not from a child. More like a little animal. But where was it coming from?
There! She heard it again, more softly this time.
Entering the barn, Abby set her egg basket aside on a high shelf. Dust motes floated through cracks in the walls, the faint sunlight filtering through the dim interior. A subtle rustling came from the hayloft. Abby gazed up at the long, arching timbers curving across the ceiling like the skeleton of a giant whale’s rib cage. Even her father’s barn in Ohio wasn’t this large and spacious. She couldn’t help being impressed by Jakob’s construction skills.
A tall ladder reached up to the loft. Lifting her skirts away from her ankles, she stepped on the bottom rung and started to climb. Her skirt got twisted around her shoe and she lost her footing. Gripping the side of the ladder, she caught herself just in time and untangled her skirt.
“Ouch!”
Several splinters from the rough timber had dug their way into her fingers. As she reached to pull them out, she lost her balance and fell backward.
Strong arms suddenly wrapped around her. For just a fraction of time, she felt a solid chest at her back and a warm cheek pressed against her own.
“Oh!” She jerked away so fast that Jakob stumbled and grabbed for the ladder to catch himself.
He looked at her, his eyes wide with surprise. “Are you all right?”
She breathed heavily, trying to catch her breath. “Ja, I’m fine.”
But no, she wasn’t. Not really. She felt mortified by the physical contact they had shared.
“Are you certain? You seem flustered. I was only trying to save you from a bad fall,” he said.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’ve developed quick reflexes. I learned at a young age to be on my guard.”
He accepted her admittance without comment, but she could tell from his expression that he understood. Living with her father and Simon had taught her to duck fast at a moment’s notice.
“Let me see the damage,” he said.
She didn’t fight him as he took her hand in his, perusing her injury with infinite tenderness. The skin on his palms was roughened by hard work, but his fingers were warm and gentle. Using his blunt fingernails, he plucked out two of the splinters.
“I’m afraid I can’t get the last one out, but Mamm has a pair of tweezers in the house that you can use,” he said.
He released her hand and she folded her hands together, looking down. “Danke.”
As she glanced at him, her entire body heated up as hot as Naomi’s woodstove. She lifted a hand to her face where she still felt the warmth of his cheek. He stood in front of her in his worn work clothes, looking strong and handsome, yet completely harmless. She followed the movement of his hand as he reached up and rubbed his beard.
“What were you doing up on the ladder anyway?” He glanced toward the loft.
“I... I heard mewling sounds and wanted to see if Ruby’s barn cat was up there.” She took another step back, trying to calm her racing heart. She told herse
lf she didn’t need to fear this man, but the jittery instinct to run and hide was difficult to resist.
Jakob shook his head, his eyes creased with stoic sorrow. “I’m afraid Amber is gone.”
“Gone where?” she asked, remembering that Amber was the name of Ruby’s cat.
“I found her on the side of the highway this morning on my way home from taking Reuben to school. She’d been hit by a car. I just buried her so the children wouldn’t see.”
“Oh, ne.” Abby covered her mouth with one hand, her heart filled with sadness. She’d seen how vehicles whizzed by on the road, moving so fast that the drivers could barely notice anything in their path. It reaffirmed Abby’s preference for buggies and horses, which moved at a calm, sane speed.
“Will you tell Ruby that her cat is gone?” she asked, her voice wobbling slightly.
“Ja, both kinder will have to be told. Ruby lives on a farm and understands such things, but I know she’ll be upset.”
Abby agreed, but didn’t get the chance to say so. The mewling sound came again, such a pitiful, weak cry that they could have easily missed it if they’d been talking at that precise moment.
Jakob tilted his head, his gaze lifting to the stacks of hay above. “I just heard it, too. I wonder...”
Without finishing his thought, he set his foot on the bottom rung of the ladder and hurried up. Abby waited below. Was it possible that Amber had her kittens up there? When Abby thought about the babies without their mother to care for them, a sense of urgency swept over her. She took a deep inhale and held it for several seconds. When Jakob reappeared, she let it go.
“What did you find?” she asked.
He didn’t reply as he climbed down. When he reached the bottom, she noticed he gripped the ladder with one hand, his other hand held close against his chest.
Safely on his feet, he turned and revealed two baby kittens so small that he could easily hold them with one hand. A miniature head with teensy ears poked up, showing white fur with one yellow and one gray spot on top. The second kitten had yellow and gray stripes. Both babies peered at her with large blue eyes. Completely defenseless and adorable.