Love Always, Damian

by D. Nichole King

  Blake’s fingertips glide over the side of my face. “You sure you’re gonna be all right? I can crash on the sofa.”

  “I’ll be fine, but thanks.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I just got back from one trip, Blake. I have so much to do tomorrow before we fly to Australia, and I could use a day to myself.”

  He nods, understanding. “If you need anything, you call me?”

  “Of course, Sir Lancelot.”

  “Prince Charming,” he corrects, and I giggle.

  “Fine. Okay, Prince Charming.”

  I close the door behind him and lean against it. Without Lia here, the apartment is too quiet. But having Blake stay here wouldn’t make me feel any better, especially not after the make-out session I ended a minute ago.

  I flip off all the lights as I walk through. Then I open the door to Lia’s room, taking in how empty it is. I miss her so much. I forgo my own room, and with my clothes on, I curl up and fall asleep in Lia’s bed.

  Chapter 11

  Damian

  Lia’s coming with me to the hospital today. After hanging up with Ellie, I carried Lia to her bed in the corner of my room and called my dad.

  “Dad?” I say for the fifteenth time. I wonder if I should drive over and check on him. “Dad?”

  He still doesn’t answer. The stunned silence thing is understandable, but come on! Give me something.

  “Wow,” he finally says.

  “That’s all you’ve got?”

  He blows into the phone again. “And she never told you?”

  “No. If it weren’t for this research project, I’m not sure she ever would have.”

  “Wow,” he repeats, and for a man whose job it is to talk to people, he pretty much sucks at it.

  I glance over at Lia. She’s lying on her side so all I can see is her mass of hair assaulting the pillow.

  “I know she just arrived, but do you have plans tomorrow night?”

  “Kinda looks like I don’t have plans for the next eight weeks, Dad.”

  He laughs. “All right, well, why don’t you come over for dinner after work? She can play in the pool.”

  So those are the plans for our first whole day together. Lia joining me at work, then dinner with her grandpa.

  I can’t help smiling as I get the two of us ready to leave in the morning. Talking with Ellie last night put me in a good mood. It’s been a long time since I laughed like that, even longer since I heard her laugh like that. God, she sounded amazing. Like the Ellie I remember from when Liam was alive. When she practically lived at our house.

  “My grandpa is a doctor?” Lia asks, scooping another spoonful of Lucky Charms in her mouth. I’ll buy Dylan another box later. Dude and his freaking kids’ cereal.

  “He’s an oncologist,” I specify.

  “What’s that?”

  “It means he helps people who have cancer.”

  Lia pushes her hair out of her face. I tried to brush through the mass, but she kept whining that it hurt, so I gave up. I have no idea what to do with it.

  “What’s cancer?” she asks.

  “A horrible, horrible disease,” I answer, downing the last of my coffee. “You ready?”

  “Yep.” Lia slides off the chair and grabs one of the Twilight Sparkles I said she could bring along.

  I open the back door of my car, and she hops in and buckles herself. I’m not the one who taught her, yet I’m proud. It’s strange.

  Lia stays close to me as we walk through the double doors and ride the elevator to the third floor.

  “I’ve never been in a hospital before,” she informs me. “Except when I was born.”

  “Good. Let’s hope you never have to be admitted into one.”

  The elevator doors open, and sitting on the bench right outside of them is my father. His gaze pins on Lia, and his jaw slackens. Seeing that she’s an exact replica of Mom must be even more shocking for him than it was for me.

  “Dad, this is Lia Kathryn. Lia, this is your Grandpa Lowell.” Lia stands half behind me, holding onto my leg like she did with Ellie when she first met me.

  “Hey there, Lia,” Dad greets her.

  “Hi,” she quips, and I bend down to pick her up. Her little arms wrap around me as she leans in.

  He grins. “She looks like your mother, Damian.”

  “I know,” I say, squeezing her. “She’s Mom all over again.”

  “Well, so were you and your brother.”

  “I wish Mom was here to see her,” I say, and as I do, I realize that if Mom were alive, Liam would be as well, and this little girl in my arms wouldn’t be mine. She’d be his.

  A couple of days ago I wouldn’t have cared. Today, I’m not sure.

  “Lia, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Dad says, smiling at her. “Now, I think there’re some kids in The Commons who’d love to play with you.”

  Lia’s eyes brighten. I carry her down the hall because I’m not ready to put her down yet. We pass the nurses’ station, and I suppress the laugh bubbling in my chest. Mouths hanging open, the nurses gawk as we pass. They all remember my mother, and it’s not hard to put two and two together—especially with them. The news of who Lia is will spread fast now.

  The Commons is at the far end of the hall, next to the chemo room. Dad was right. There are several kids already here, playing and receiving treatments. In the corner where I saw her yesterday sits Olivia. She has some crayons out and doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.

  “Lia,” I say, “there’s someone I’d like for you to meet.”

  I lead my daughter over to the table and lower myself on my haunches. Olivia glances up and breaks into a smile as she recognizes me.

  “Hi, Olivia,” I say. I unzip my bag and pull out a My Little Pony notebook Lia picked out and a large box of crayons. “These are for you.”

  Her smile widens. “Wow. Thank you.”

  “I’d also like to introduce you to my daughter, Lia.”

  “Hi,” Lia says, waving even though the girls are only a foot away from each other.

  “Hi,” Olivia answers, waving back.

  “I’m going to leave you two to play, okay?” I say, looking back and forth between the two. I linger on Lia.

  They both nod.

  “If you need anything, Lia, you can ask Olivia or one of the nurses. They come in frequently. I’ll be back to check in soon.”

  “Okay,” she says.

  At the door, I twist around. Already the girls are giggling with each other and breaking in the new crayons. I watch for a second longer before I slip out.

  ~*~

  On my break, Leslie teaches me how to brush Lia’s hair. I’m catching on—until she braids it. Then I’m completely lost.

  “Can you braid Twilight Sparkle’s tail?” she asks Leslie, holding up her pony.

  “Sure, sweetheart. Now, pay attention, Damian.” Leslie splits the hair in three pieces. So far, I get it. But when she starts to move the three strands, they all blur together, and suddenly I have a headache.

  “Uh, I’ll YouTube it,” I say when she asks if I’ve got it.

  Leslie laughs. “You do that.”

  “Thanks, Miss Leslie!” Lia quips and runs off.

  “She’s beautiful, Damian,” Leslie says.

  “She is,” I agree as I watch Lia show off her braid to Olivia.

  “Kate would be proud.”

  The wind is knocked out of me at Leslie’s sentiment. She means well, but I doubt Kate would be proud of me knocking up Ellie the night before her burial.

  Lia’s blues flash in our direction. She points at Leslie, and Olivia claps her hands in excitement before they start toward us.

  “Looks like you have another customer,” I say, happy for the quick change in subject. I stand up and take off before I have to sit through another hair-braiding lesson.

  ~*~

  Dinner at Dad’s went great, and now Lia’s on the phone with her mom, dishing out he
r entire day. Word. For. Word.

  She’s definitely Ellie’s daughter.

  “He has a swimming pool inside his house!” she squeals into the phone. “Daddy says we can go swimming there again. Maybe tomorrow.”

  “I didn’t say that,” I interject even though she’s not listening.

  Lia frowns. “But Mom, it’s inside his house!”

  I can assume what Ellie is saying. It’s summer, so Lia should swim in an outdoor pool with other kids. Dad told her the same thing. Frankly, I couldn’t care less.

  “Yeah, he’s right here,” Lia says with a corresponding eye roll. “Okay. I love you too, Mommy.”

  She gives me the phone after making a kissy noise into the receiver.

  “Hey, Elle,” I say, and last night’s conversation slips into my memory.

  “She sounds happy,” Ellie says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

  “We’re doing all right,” I tell her. “You fly out tomorrow?”

  “Yes, so we’ll have to deal with the time difference after I land.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” I say, my gaze flitting to Lia playing on the floor. “Be safe, okay?”

  My comment carries weight, and we both know it. Ellie and I know too well what it’s like to lose someone, and I’ll be damned if Lia has to go through that. Hell, I can’t go through that.

  “I will, Damian,” she says, and I catch a quiet sniffle.

  “What’s wrong, Elle?”

  She hesitates. “Nothing. It’s just hard to be this far away from her, you know?”

  “I’m not going to let anything happen to her,” I assure her, and I wish I could look her in the eye as I say it. It’s how I’m used to comforting her. Over the phone makes it sound like a shallow promise. To lighten the mood, I laugh. “Besides, you’re going to the Great Barrier Reef to poke needles in sharks, Elle. The last thing you should have to worry about is what’s going on here. So tell me, how well did they test that shark-bite suit of yours?”

  That earns me a giggle, and I smile, imagining the corners of her lips curved up and the way she bats her eyelashes at the same time.

  “Yeah,” she agrees. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

  “Please do.”

  “I will. Good night, Damian.”

  I pause for a moment to prolong the call. “Good night, Elle.”

  ~*~

  I read Lia a bedtime story and tuck her in. She’s wearing those My Little Pony pajamas she picked out, and I’m glad I bought two because I’ll have to wash this one eventually. She rolls onto her side, holding her favorite blanket in one hand and sucking the thumb of her other. Damn, that’s adorable.

  “Sleep tight, little Lia,” I say, smoothing her hair.

  I take a final glance at her before closing the door. Two days with her, and I think I have this dad-thing down. Maybe I won’t fuck this up.

  I grab a beer from the fridge and plop down on the sofa with Dylan. He tosses me an Xbox remote.

  “You’re a natural, man,” he says.

  I shrug. “Well, I’m not gonna brag, but I have played all the other Grand Theft Auto games. This one’s a breeze.”

  “I meant with Lia.”

  I knew what he meant.

  “Yeah, well, Ellie needed to go on that research trip and there was no one else.” I pop the top off the bottle and take a swig.

  “Sure, man. Whatever you say.”

  “Don’t worry, dude. I have eight full weeks to mess this shit up.” I’m half teasing, half not. I know what I’m capable of. This summer is my chance to prove I’m not the selfish bastard I think I am.

  Dylan grins because he understands. Then he turns serious. “Well, just remember, if you fuck up, you not only hurt yourself, you hurt that little girl and her mother too. This isn’t only about you, Damian.”

  “How much do I owe for that, Dr. Laura?” I joke, even though it’s not funny. Both of us have been on the receiving end of his statement.

  He shrugs. “Bill’s in the mail.”

  “Go to hell.”

  I knock back the rest of my beer and shoot a look at my closed bedroom door. Dylan’s right. But I won’t let that happen. I will fight for her. I owe Kate that much. Because when I could have saved her—fought for her—

  I didn’t.

  I won’t make that mistake again.

  Chapter 12

  Damian

  Lia’s antsy, waiting for Ellie to call. She’s sitting at the table, her palms plastered against her cheeks, and her too short legs swinging under the chair. It’s been two days since we heard from Ellie, and I don’t expect my phone to ring for another couple of hours. Her plane is scheduled to land in Cairns at 11:26 a.m. their time, which is over half a day ahead of ours.

  Dylan’s read Lia two princess stories, I’ve sat through a few episodes of Friendship is Magic, and neither have distracted her. Maybe some food will.

  “Let’s go out for pizza,” I suggest. It’s been McDonald’s Happy Meals since she arrived, and I could use a change.

  Lia’s head snaps in my direction, and she sits up taller. “Really?”

  “Yeah. What kind do you like?”

  “Ham and pineapple!” she exclaims, the anticipated call pushed aside.

  I grimace. “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”

  Damn you, Ellie.

  “Come on, Dylan.” Lia yanks on my roommate’s arm.

  “Nah, you two go ahead,” he says.

  Lia’s face slackens, and she bats her lashes like a pro. “Please?” Bat, bat, bat.

  He’s a goner.

  He avoids direct eye contact with my three-year-old teenager, cutting his gaze to me instead.

  I shrug. “Everyone’s gotta eat,” I tell him.

  “Dude, we walk in a pizza joint together with a little girl, people are either going to stare at us or erupt in applause,” he says, reaching for a way to get out of this.

  “True. So, let’s not wear those matching rainbow outfits we’d planned on then, huh?” I slug him in the shoulder. “It’s just pizza. We can talk wedding invitations tomorrow.”

  Dylan huffs. “You’re paying.”

  “Of course, sweetpea. And you can return the favor later.” I wink and shoot him the sexy smirk the girls at The Underground cream themselves over.

  “Fucktard,” he mutters.

  “Dickhead,” I return.

  By the time we arrive, Lia’s less jittery, and I’m thinking I should earn Dad of the Year for my awesome anxiety-soothing idea.

  “Two adults, and she’s three,” I tell the lady at the register.

  “Okay,” she says. “Anything specific you want on the buffet tonight?”

  “Ham and pineapple!” Lia exclaims with the same enthusiasm as earlier. Girl loves her pizza.

  The lady smiles. “I’ll put that right in.”

  We seat ourselves, Lia beside me and Dylan across from us, his back to most of the dining room. From where I sit, I can see the whole place. Most of the tables are taken, and I recognize a few students who are staying in town for the summer.

  “Do you want something while we wait on your ham and pineapple?” I ask.

  “Hmm…chocolate milk,” she decides.

  “One chocolate milk coming right up.” I slide out from the booth and head across the room to the buffet. I load up a plate for myself before I fill up a glass with chocolate milk for Lia.

  On my way back, I catch a steroid-induced guy glaring at me. Dude looks familiar, but I’m not sure why. I ignore him and head back to our booth.

  I sit down, giving Dylan the go-ahead to grab himself some grub.

  “Want a cheese stick?” I ask Lia after she sips on her drink.

  “What’s on it?”

  “Uh, cheese. And bread.”

  She makes a face where her nose scrunches up. “Ew, no thanks.”

  “So, it’s only ham and pineapple for you?”

  “Yep-yep!” she sings and sucks down more chocolate milk.

&
nbsp; I make a mental note to talk with Ellie about expanding our daughter’s limited pizza palate. Preferably something not puke-worthy like her current favorite.

  I’m too busy with Lia to see someone approach us. Not until he clutches my shirt and rips me off the bench.

  “Come here, you little fuck,” he growls, slamming my back against the wall.

  My head hits the brick, and the wind is knocked out of me. It takes a second for my eyes to refocus. When they do, I realize this is the same guy who was eyeing me earlier.

  “I think you got the wrong guy,” I say. Whoever he is, he has me pinned flat so I can’t move.

  “You Damian?” The vein in his too-thick neck pops out in anger.

  “Yeah. Who the fuck are you?”

  He loosens his grip for a split second, then smacks me into the wall again. My gaze cranks over to Lia in the booth right next to me. She’s backed up into the corner, eyes wide with fear, lips quivering. The way this guy has me, I can’t break free to get to her.

  “Lia,” I say. “Lia—”

  “Shut up,” the guy demands. To back up his point, he punches me in the stomach.

  I can’t breathe.

  “You finger-fucked my girl, you motherfucker,” he growls.

  “I’ve finger-fucked a lot of girls, asshole, you’re going to need to be more specific,” I cough out.

  That vein of his is pulsing now. I don’t see his right hook until he sends it barreling into my face. I immediately feel the burn, and I can barely make out Dylan directly behind the son of a bitch.

  “Get Lia, and get her out of here,” I order him, so he doesn’t consider helping me.

  The guy is in my face again, blocking my view of my daughter, his breath steaming hot over where he punched me. “Katey.”

  Oh shit.

  I remember Katey. I didn’t nail her after she told me her name. In fact, I sent her away completely unfulfilled and pissed off.

  My eye is swelling shut, but through the other, I see Dylan with Lia in his arms, running outside. Good.

  “If you were a real man, she wouldn’t have come home with me in the first place,” I spit out.