Tranquility

by Laurie Gardiner

  We continued on to Georgia’s room. I unlocked the wardrobe so she could unpack and put away her things. Lloyd and I stepped into the hallway outside the door to place a photo of her into the slot below her name. It was an old black and white of a young, beautiful Georgia, standing tall and looking proud and defiant.

  Every resident in Dementia had their name and photo on the wall outside their door to help them find their room. We tried to use old photos because many of the residents who had lost their short-term memory wouldn’t recognize themselves in a more current photo.

  Lloyd spoke to me in a low voice. “I’m glad you were available to do this on such short notice. She’s having a good day today.”

  I smiled at him. “Me too. It’s a good time to do it, because of the Christmas Eve service.”

  “Good, good.” He looked at me thoughtfully, and a solemn look came over his face. “This was a really hard decision for my family. We feel she belongs at home with the people who love her. We’ve been taking turns staying with her when we can, but her children aren’t young anymore. My father’s the oldest and the only one who stayed in town. The rest moved away when they were young. He’s almost eighty and he’s been alone since my mother died a few years ago. The cousins are spread across the country now and all busy with their own families and jobs.” He looked at his grandmother. “She‘s a very strong-willed, opinionated woman and she’s used to being in charge. She’s hard enough to deal with normally, but lately she’s been almost impossible to manage.” He sighed heavily. “It doesn’t matter though, I still hate doing this.”

  “It’s not easy for anyone,” I said.

  He swung around to face me, his expression fierce and desperate. “No, you don’t understand. She’s the matriarch of our family. She’s the glue that holds us together. Without her, I’m afraid the family will fall apart.”

  I really did understand, and not just because I saw it every day with each resident’s family. I knew as well as anyone what it meant to lose someone and how easy it was to lash out at the nearest person. He was angry at the situation and at the disease and feeling guilty for leaving her. I smiled and put a hand on his arm.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, rubbing his fingers across his eyes. “A few weeks ago, she found my dad’s car keys and drove to the grocery store. When she tried to park, she hit the gas instead of the brake and drove into the building. She leaves the stove on, the water running, hell, one day she decided the windows needed cleaning. She was halfway up the ladder when my father found her. It’s been pure luck so far that no one’s been hurt.”

  I touched his arm reassuringly. “I’ll take good care of her.”

  “I know you will.” He smiled apologetically. “But I don’t envy you the job.”

  * * *

  I had Christmas morning off for the first time in five years. Tracey had volunteered to work since she had no family in town. I’d tried to convince her to come for turkey dinner after work, but she said she was planning to drive to her mom’s to spend a couple days there.

  Previous years, I’d come home from nightshift just in time to open gifts. It was nice to wake up to Kayla’s excited shrieks when she saw the presents under the tree. I lay in bed listening to her excitement grow as she pulled things from her stocking. It was quiet for a moment, then I heard her little feet pounding as she ran down the hall toward my room.

  She burst through the door and launched herself onto the bed. “Mommy, it’s Christmas! Santa was here. I can tell, ’cause there’s presents under the tree, and all the cookies and milk are gone.” She held up a miniature toy horse. It was pink and sparkly with a long silky mane and tail. “And look what he put in my stocking!” Her dark eyes were wide and glistening with excitement as she bounced up and down on her hands and knees beside me. “Please get up now, Mommy. Please, please, please, so we can open presents.”

  I caught her mid-bounce and pulled her in for a quick hug. “Okay, okay. I’ll be right out. Maybe you should go wake up Nana and Gran, too.”

  She bounced out of my arms and right off the bed. “I will. I’ll wake them up right now. Hurry up, Mommy,” she yelled, running from the room.

  We spent a leisurely morning opening gifts. Kayla had hot chocolate and candy from her stocking for breakfast. Mom, Gran and I indulged in coffee with Irish cream and shared a box of chocolates.

  Later, Kayla convinced Gran to play the game of Trouble she’d opened that morning. Mom and I worked together in the kitchen as we listened to the laughter and “pop, pop” of the dice bubble from the other room.

  I was sitting at the island peeling potatoes. Mom stood at the stove humming “Silent Night” under her breath as she made the stuffing. It occurred to me that she was happy. I put down the peeler and took a sip of coffee as I watched her work. The tiny diamonds in her wedding band sparkled under the bright light above the stove and I realized I’d never seen her without it. My hand went to the pendant my dad had given me. “Would you ever get married again?” I blurted the thought aloud and regretted it instantly.

  Mom turned to me with her mouth agape. “Would I…what in the world made you ask that?”

  “I don’t know. It just occurred to me that I’ve never seen you take off your wedding ring. Tracey talks about her stepdad and it makes me realize you’re still young. I mean, you never know, you could meet someone someday. Like the man at the food court, he seemed nice.”

  She put her head down, turned her back and busied herself stirring onions. “Andrew is very nice, but I’m afraid no one would ever be able to compare to your father.”

  I kicked myself for bringing it up when only a moment ago she’d been so happy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

  She turned to face me again. Butter-laden fried onions threatened to fly off the spoon as she waved it in the air between us. “Nothing could make me sad today, sweetie. Having us all here today, together, makes me happy. You, Gran and Kayla are all I need.” She pointed the spoon at me emphatically. “You,” she said as a greasy onion flew off and landed on my arm, “on the other hand, should be dating.”

  Oh, here we go, I thought, popping the onion in my mouth. Luckily, at that moment, Kayla came running into the kitchen to announce that she’d beaten Gran and was looking for her next victim.

  Chapter 10 - The Calm Before the Storm

  I WENT BACK TO WORK the day after Christmas feeling rested and relaxed. Edie was in her usual spot, in her chair beside the window, when I walked into her room. “Morning, Edie. I wasn’t expecting you back until later today.”

  She snorted. “That woman always finds a reason to cut our visits short. She’ll not be happy ‘til I’m dead.”

  I simply nodded and went on with my work. I knew enough to leave Edie alone when she was annoyed.

  Most of the residents who had been away overnight were brought back throughout the day. The people who dropped them off looked tired, frustrated, relieved, and guilty for feeling relieved. The residents were tired as well and out of sorts from the change in routine.

  Christmas was over and Dementia was back to its usual state of organized chaos.

  Georgia returned that afternoon at the end of my shift. I’d already changed my shoes and collected my purse and coat from my locker in the change room. I was sitting behind the desk at the nurse’s station, finishing my documentation, when I saw her.

  She entered with an entourage. At least fifteen people of varying ages followed her as she marched with an air of dignity and authority toward the nurse’s station.

  They stopped in front of the desk and Lloyd stepped out of the crowd of people to stand beside his grandmother. A little girl, about Kayla’s age, stepped forward as well and slipped her hand inside Georgia’s. The others spoke quietly amongst themselves as they looked around curiously.

  Many of the residents were napping, but a few wandered the halls or watched TV in the lounge.

  Mrs. W was nearby, shuffling slowly down the hall in her wheelchair. He
r head lolled back and forth as a trail of drool ran down her chin onto the towel draped across her chest. Her constant moaning was occasionally interspersed with cries of frustration. Sam had come out of the lounge and was wandering the halls, singing along loudly to his music. Raised voices could be heard plainly coming from the lounge. Lily and Beth were arguing.

  I stepped out from behind the desk and smiled. “Welcome back, Georgia.” My eyes swept over the group. I met the steady gaze of a pair of masculine hazel eyes and lingered for a moment before I realized I was staring. I looked away, but not before I felt the heat of embarrassment stain my cheeks.

  I cleared my throat and looked at Georgia. “I uh, hope you had a nice Christmas.”

  Georgia nodded, but didn’t speak. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

  Lloyd looked at her and asked, “Do you remember Sarah, Ma?”

  “Of course, I do,” she insisted, but there was no recognition in her eyes when she looked at me.

  Lloyd sighed and gave me an apologetic smile. “Christmas was very nice, thank you.” He motioned to the people behind him. “Lots of family here to visit, as you can see.”

  The little girl beside Georgia piped up. “Are you gonna take care of Ma?”

  “Well, I think your ma can take care of herself, but I’ll be here to help if she needs me to.”

  “You’re pretty,” she blurted.

  I felt my face redden again. “Thank you.”

  Lloyd smiled fondly at the girl. “This is my granddaughter, Alisha. She’s the older of two great-great grandchildren.”

  “Wow, that’s impressive.” I bent down to talk to her. “Nice to meet you, Alisha.”

  She became shy with the formality and hid her face in Georgia’s skirt.

  I straightened up and said to Lloyd, “My shift is nearly over, but Connie should be here any minute and she’ll help you get your grandmother settled in.”

  “No problem. I’ll show the rest of the family around while we’re waiting, if that’s okay?”

  “Of course, that’ll be fine.”

  They wandered off in the direction of the lounge.

  I hoped Lily and Beth weren’t still arguing and I hoped Sam had his clothes on.

  I went behind the desk and bent down to get my purse and coat. When I straightened up, the owner of the hazel eyes stood on the other side of the desk, watching me intently. He looked a few years older than me, maybe closer to thirty. His dark hair was buzzed close to his head, he had a little cleft in his chin, and, up close, his eyes were more green than hazel.

  I realized I was staring again. “Is there something I can do for you?” I instantly regretted the question and felt heat creep into my cheeks once more.

  He smiled and a dimple appeared. All thoughts left my head.

  I was stirred from my bemused state by the realization that he had spoken. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  He tilted his head and smirked, clearly amused. The dimple deepened. “I was just introducing myself. I’m Jay. I’m one of Georgia’s many great-grandchildren.”

  “I’m Sarah.”

  “Ah, yes, Sahara. Heard that story last night. My father likes you. I think it makes it easier for him, knowing you’ll be looking after Ma.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “Okay, well, I should go catch up with the others. I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

  I nodded, too tongue-tied and flustered to string a proper sentence together. My pulse raced and I realized I hadn’t reacted that way to a man since I’d met Kayla’s dad.

  When Connie walked into the nurse’s station a moment later, I was still standing there watching Jay saunter away. We chatted for a few minutes, and I filled her in about Georgia before I left.

  I spent the entire drive home thinking about Jay, feeling foolish for acting like a teenage girl, and wondering how long I’d have to wait before I’d get to see him again.

  * * *

  I was still thinking of him two days later. I couldn’t seem to get his face out of my head. Or his voice, or his smile, or the way he’d smelled, like spicy cologne. I lay on my bed reading after tucking Kayla in for the night, but couldn’t concentrate. After reading the same paragraph three times, I gave up and flipped on the TV. That didn’t help either. Finally, I called Tracey.

  Twenty minutes later, we met at the coffee shop on Main. I stripped off my hat and gloves as I walked to the table where Tracey sat.

  “Wow, your cheeks are all rosy. Did you walk here?”

  I nodded as I took off my coat and hung it over the back of the chair.

  “I could have picked you up, you know.”

  “It’s only a fifteen minute walk. I needed some fresh air to clear my head.” I sat down across from her and picked up the cup of decaf-mocha she’d bought for me. “Thanks. I missed you the past few days. How was your trip home?”

  She shrugged indifferently. “Okay. Good thing I was only there for a few days. Any longer and I might have killed my stepdad. Why’d you need to clear your head?”

  “My new resident, Georgia, came in the day after Christmas with her family.”

  “Something happen?”

  “No, no, nothing bad. She came in with a bunch of people; children, grandchildren, even a great-great granddaughter.” I paused as I took a sip of coffee.

  “Uh-huh, and?”

  “Well, one of her great-grandsons was… nice looking and he stayed behind to talk to me when they went to look around, that’s all.”

  She squinted at me suspiciously. “Hmmm. How nice looking?”

  “Very. But, that’s just my opinion.”

  “Describe him to me.”

  I thought for a moment. “Okay, you know the guy who plays Jackson Avery on Grey’s Anatomy?”

  Tracey’s mouth fell open. “Oh my God, are you serious? Did you jump him? I want details.”

  I laughed. “For one thing, that’s how I ended up pregnant the first time. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to get into a relationship with a resident’s relative.”

  “Who said anything about a relationship?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Okay, if it was Sam or Albert, people might have a problem with it.”

  “Ewww. I hope they would. So would I.”

  “No, seriously,” she said when she’d finished laughing, “there’s no rule against it at work, they just frown on it. Do you go home and tell your family about stuff that happens at work?”

  I nodded. I often told Mom and Gran stories about funny or interesting things the residents said or did.

  “See? They frown on that too, but if nobody knows, nobody cares. If you like him, you should go for it.”

  * * *

  I was unsure of what to expect from my new resident. I was also concerned about Rose’s reaction to her new roommate, but they barely acknowledged one another the first few days. Georgia was kept busy with visitors throughout the rest of the week and was rarely in her room. Grandchildren came and went, taking her out for lunch or home for a few hours. Connie told me that Lloyd spent the first few evenings with Georgia. He had supper with her, then sat in her room and watched TV until she fell asleep. The visitors dwindled as her family made their way home after the Christmas holidays.

  I walked into Hall B one morning to see Rose, wringing her hands and pacing outside her room in her pajamas. Her short, brown hair was sticking up on one side where she had slept on it. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, so I spoke as I approached. She still jumped at the sound of my voice. “What’s wrong, Rose?”

  “I, I, um ... don’t like her… in my room.”

  “I understand, Rose, but it’s her room now too. Tell you what, why don’t we go talk to her together?”

  Rose shook her head. “N…n…no, no, no.”

  “It’s okay, Rose. I’ll be with you. She’s a nice lady.”

  Rose looked at me suspiciously.

  “Please, Rose?”

  She shrugged her s
houlders in resignation. “Okay, okay.”

  I properly introduced the women and had them engage in a short conversation. Later, when Georgia became annoyed with Rose for following her, I took her aside and explained some of Rose’s special needs. After that, they seemed to come to an understanding. It might only last as long as they remembered meeting, but for the moment, it was a problem solved.

  By the time we went to the dining room for lunch, Georgia seemed to have taken Rose under her wing. I purposely steered them toward Edie’s table. I hoped Georgia, with her ability to carry on a conversation, might provide Edie with some much-needed companionship.

  I introduced them, initiated a conversation, and then sat at my regular table with Mrs. Sellers. I fastened an apron around her neck and placed a bowl of soup in front of her. She stared at me vacantly. I picked up her spoon and placed it in her hand. “Eat your soup, Mrs. Sellers.”

  She stared blankly at the spoon for a moment before dipping it into her soup. I nodded at her encouragingly as I listened to Edie and Georgia complaining about the food at the next table. I smiled proudly. They were talking. To each other.

  My pleasure faded when Sheila came in, wheeling Mrs. W quickly through the maze of tables. Cries of surprise and irritation rang out as she barreled through, rolling over feet and clipping people as she went. I flinched, hoping she didn’t bump Georgia. She might have been new, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t keep her from stating her opinion.

  Sheila’s shrill voice carried throughout the dining room. “We wouldn’t be late for lunch if someone had been a little more co-operative with her bath. I don’t understand why you fight me every time. You would think you people would be happy to get a bath.”

  I glanced across the room to where Tracey sat and we exchanged a knowing look.

  Edie lowered her head and continued eating, but not before I’d seen the look of disgust on her face. Beside her, Georgia had put down her spoon and was watching Sheila warily.

  Sheila wheeled Mrs. W into her usual empty spot at the table beside Tracey’s. Mrs. W slumped uncomfortably in her chair. Sheila continued to rant as she grabbed her beneath the arms and pulled her up straight.