Tranquility

by Laurie Gardiner

  The police decided the best way to approach him was from behind. The bigger of the two left the room with Abby, who took him to Hall A. The other one stood at the solarium door to keep John’s attention.

  The two paramedics waited with the gurney in the hallway. Tracey opened the door and stood where she could talk to them and watch the drama unfold at the same time.

  I watched the big, burly cop open the door into the courtyard and sneak up quietly behind John. He moved quickly for his size and had wrapped his arms around John’s chest and lifted him off his feet before John knew anyone was there.

  John fought hard, but couldn’t loosen the big man’s grip. The other cop opened the door and John was carried, kicking and screaming, inside. It took all four men to get him onto the gurney and strapped down. At the end of it, they were all a little breathless and would no doubt have a few bruises for their efforts.

  We stood in the hallway, watching the paramedics wheel John away. They had removed his wet socks and wrapped him in blankets, but his body trembled with cold now that the anger and adrenaline had subsided.

  I noticed a look pass between Tracey and one of the paramedics as the two men wheeled the gurney out of Dementia. I turned to her with a raised brow. “What was that about?”

  She shrugged nonchalantly as we turned and headed toward Hall B. “His name’s Kyle. I slipped him my number. We’re gonna go out this weekend.”

  “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  She grinned mischievously. “He’s just my type; big, strong and ruggedly handsome.” She turned into the twins’ room. “And he has a stethoscope, so maybe we can play doctor,” she added, wiggling her eyebrows lecherously.

  I rolled my eyes and laughed as we picked up where we’d left off making beds. I was beginning to like Tracey a lot. Her lighthearted nature and dry, sometimes tawdry, sense of humor offset my serious nature perfectly.

  Seeing the exchange between Tracey and the paramedic made me think of Jay. I thought about him a lot and it frustrated me. It shouldn’t be so hard to forget someone I barely knew. It was those eyes. And that smile. And the way he’d made me feel when he stood too close and put his hand over mine. I felt warm suddenly.

  Tracey looked at me through narrowed eyes. “You thinking about him again?”

  “No, just thinking about what to make for dinner tonight.”

  “Uh-huh, ‘cause you always blush when you think about food. You got it bad, girl. We really need to do something about it.”

  I made a face at her and we moved on to Sam’s room. He was stretched out in his recliner wearing his ear buds, eyes closed, head bobbing along to the beat of the music.

  “Hi, Sam,” I said loudly to let him know we were there.

  He opened his eyes, raised his brows and smiled lewdly.

  “Watch out,” I whispered, “I know that look.”

  Tracey wiggled her brows. “I might like it.”

  We laughed quietly as we went to work making Sam’s bed.

  It occurred to me that I would miss Tracey when I quit work to go to school in the fall and I realized I hadn’t told her about it. Not purposely, it simply hadn’t come up.

  I glanced around. Sam’s eyes were now on Tracey’s backside, but he was still immersed in his music. “So, I applied to nursing school.”

  Tracey dropped her side of the blanket. “Are you kidding me?”

  I shook my head, puzzled by her reaction.

  She laughed, picked up the blanket and continued working. “I’ve been wanting to apply for a couple years, but I keep putting it off. It’s the thought of giving up work and going into debt. I don’t have to tell you how hard it is. You have a kid to take care of and you’re doing it.”

  “True, but I can live with my mom until I’m done with school. That’ll help a lot. And I think the longer I put it off, the harder it’ll be. I’m already getting too comfortable here.”

  Tracey nodded. Her face was aglow with excitement. “You’re right. I just have to do it. I’m gonna look into it tonight.”

  Her enthusiasm was contagious. I hadn’t allowed myself to become too excited about school. I hadn’t even told anyone other than Mom, Gran, and now, Tracey. Now, for the first time, I felt good about my choice and was looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life.

  Chapter 14 - The Queen’s Corset

  SCHOOL HAD BEEN ON MY mind a lot since I’d told Tracey about applying a few days earlier. Somehow, talking about it made it seem more real. It also made me realize I might only have a matter of months to get Edie out of Dementia. It had to happen before I left or she could be in there for the rest of her life.

  A couple of months had passed since I’d spoken to Abby about it. I’d noticed her watching Edie at times, but she’d said nothing to me about her thoughts on the matter. I needed to bring it up again and find out what she was planning to do.

  I went to the nurse’s station near the end of my shift that Friday. I’d timed it so I was there before the other support workers showed up to do their documentation, knowing it was the only time I might catch Abby with a few minutes to spare. Sure enough, she was there, sitting at the desk alone, doing her paperwork.

  She looked up as I approached.

  “Hi, Abby. Do you have a minute?”

  She glanced at the clock on the wall and nodded. “Make it quick.”

  I leaned across the top level of the two-tiered desk. “It’s been a couple months since we talked about Edie. I’m just wondering if you’ve had a chance to talk to her?”

  Abby sighed. “You know how hard it’s been lately to do anything except what’s absolutely necessary. I haven’t had a chance to sit down and speak with her in depth, but based on observation alone, I think there’s a possibility you could be right. There’s also the chance she’s very good at hiding her symptoms. It happens a lot in the early stages.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. I needed more from her. I needed her to commit to something. “So, what’s the next step?”

  “Well, I still need to talk to her. At that point, if I think there’s something to it, I’ll need to set up a meeting with Edie, her son and the doctor.”

  “Her son,” I repeated. If Tom were there, Anne would be as well. “Does he have to be there?”

  She looked at me curiously. “When a resident is admitted to Dementia, it’s usually because they’re no longer capable of their own decision making. So, yes, the substitute decision maker would normally be present at a meeting regarding the resident’s health or care. But, I’m sure you knew that.”

  I hesitated, trying to choose my words carefully. “I think her daughter-in-law is a big part of the reason Edie’s in here in the first place. If Edie’s son goes to the meeting, so will his wife, and she can be a little… intimidating.”

  “Well, let’s worry about that when the time comes. I’ll try to find time to speak to Edie next week, so we can get this moving.” She picked up her pen and went back to work, dismissing me without words.

  It was something. Not exactly what I would call a commitment, but it was a start. If it didn’t pan out I’d have to be more persistent. And, if persistence didn’t pay off, I might have to take Tracey’s advice and become a pain in the ass. I was hoping it wouldn’t get to that point.

  I headed back to Hall B to do one last check of my residents before doing my documentation and leaving for the day. I peeked into the lounge on my way by. Albert and a few other residents were sitting, watching TV. Mrs. Martin was busy at the bookshelf, humming softly as she rearranged the books. Edie and Georgia sat at the table in the corner playing cards. I heard Georgia ask, “What do I do now?”, and marveled at Edie’s incredible patience.

  I left the lounge and continued down the hall, peeking into each room as I went. Beth was in her room resting. Alone. I frowned and hurried on. It wasn’t like the twins to be apart. I did a double take as I walked past Sam’s room. He and Lily were half-lying on the bed in a mess of tangled naked limbs, kiss
ing and groping each other frantically.

  “Oh, my God!” I covered my eyes with one hand, hoping not to see anything more as I leaned across the threshold and pulled the door shut. I stood in the hallway, flabbergasted and wondered what to do. I’d never encountered this in Palliative Care. I needed to find Tracey.

  She was at the nurse’s station doing her documentation. I leaned over the top of the desk. “Trace, I need your help.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Sam and Lily are making out in his room.”

  She threw her head back and laughed. “Doubt they need my help, then. ‘Cept, at their age it’s probably like trying to shove a marshmallow through a donut hole.”

  I struggled to keep a straight face. Where did she come up with these things? “It’s not funny. What am I supposed to do?”

  “Nothing,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

  “Nothing?”

  “Seriously. They’re two grown adults. If they wanna have sex—”

  I groaned and put my face in my hands. “Oh, my God, stop.”

  “Well, it’s true. You gonna go in there and pull them apart?”

  “No, but….”

  “Me neither. And why should we? It’s not like they’re doing anything wrong.”

  I dropped my hands to my sides and sighed. She was right. “Fine. I have to finish my rounds.”

  “Okay, when you’re done, meet me here. I need to tell you about something.”

  “What?”

  “It’ll wait. In fact, I don’t wanna talk about it here. We’ll talk later.”

  “Aha. Got it.” If she didn’t want to talk about it here, it was probably about Sheila. It occurred to me as I walked away that I hadn’t seen Rose for a while. “Hey, Trace,” I called over my shoulder. “Have you seen Rose lately?”

  “Nope.”

  I passed the lounge again on my way back to Hall B and glanced in to be sure she hadn’t wandered in since I’d looked in earlier. There were no activities at the moment, so the auditorium and craft room would be locked. The dining hall was also closed up until dinnertime. I checked each room on both sides of Hall B, except Sam’s, which I rushed past, trying to block out the sound of grunts and giggles coming from behind the closed door. I didn’t see Rose anywhere. That left only the solarium, the relaxation room and Hall A.

  I heard John’s raised voice as soon as I rounded the corner into Hall A. He’d come back two days after the incident in the courtyard. “Get out, out. Get out, stupid cow.”

  Oh, this is not good, I thought, increasing my pace to a near run.

  “D-Don’t say that,” Rose stuttered.

  His voice went up a notch. “Get out. Out, out, out, get out. Get the hell out!”

  I rushed into the room as John pushed Rose. She lost her balance and fell over, barely catching herself on the bed. She began to cry.

  John didn’t even acknowledge me. He stomped over to the chair in the corner and sat there with his arms crossed, looking out the window while I helped Rose out of the room.

  We walked slowly, past the solarium and bathing room, to her room, where I checked her for injuries. When I was sure she was unhurt, I helped her settle in for a nap, then headed to the nurse’s station. I still had to do my daily recording and now had to fill out an incident report as well.

  Tracey was still there. “Find Rose?”

  “She was in John’s room.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  “She’s okay. He was upset that she was in there, so he pushed her. She landed on the bed, thank God, but now I have to fill out a report.”

  “You’re gonna have to talk to Abby about John before poor Rose ends up hurt.”

  “I know. I’d report it to her now, but I think she’s gone. I’ll have to talk to her Monday. Honestly, I was surprised he was allowed back last time.”

  “Not me. You know as well as I do why people like John end up in nursing homes. Our beds are cheaper than psychiatric beds. Bottom line. He’ll be here ‘til he hurts someone so bad that they have no choice.”

  I nodded my agreement, but didn’t have time to get into a discussion about the problems within our health care system. I looked at the clock. “It’s after two-thirty, you weren’t waiting for me, were you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “No, I love it here so much that I don’t wanna leave. Of course I was waiting for you. It’s Friday.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said, opening the binder. I pulled a pen from my shirt pocket and began recording. “And what’s so special about Friday?”

  “Um, it’s Friday. Friday’s always special.”

  “Not if you have to work Saturday.”

  “Oh, c’mon. We’ll go to The Queen’s. It’ll be packed with single men playing darts and drinking pints.”

  “Exactly. It’ll be packed and they’ll have a band playing. It’ll be crowded and noisy and full of drunk, obnoxious men.”

  Tracey rolled her eyes. “Exactly why we should go. Please? I haven’t been out for ages. I have to work tomorrow too. We’ll go early, have dinner, leave early. Please, please, please?”

  I looked up from the chart, into her pleading face. “Oh, my God, you sound just like Kayla.” I sighed. “Fine, but I have to check with my mom first and make sure she doesn’t mind watching Kayla.” Who was I kidding? Mom would be pushing me out the door.

  Tracey squealed in excitement and gave me a quick hug before she stood up and put on her coat. “Text me later,” she called as she rushed out the door.

  What, I wondered as I went back to my documenting, have I gotten myself into?

  I was putting my coat on a few minutes later when Jay walked in. It was the first time I’d seen him since he’d asked me out for coffee a month earlier. I froze in the middle of buttoning my coat, hoping he wouldn’t notice me.

  He did, of course, and turned in my direction. My thumb went to my mouth and I caught myself biting at a hangnail. I pulled my hand away quickly and looked around for my purse. It was on the chair beside me. I picked it up and held it in front of me as he approached.

  “Hi, Sarah.”

  I cleared my throat nervously. “Hi.”

  “How’ve you been?”

  “Good, thanks.” I slid my purse strap over my shoulder and pulled my gloves out of my coat pocket. I put them on as I spoke, looking down at them instead of at Jay. “I believe Georgia’s in the lounge playing cards with Edie. I’m just leaving.”

  “Thanks. I finished work early, so I’m signing her out and taking her to my Dad’s for the weekend. I’ll let the afternoon shift know.”

  “Okay. Uh, I have to go. Have a good weekend.” I stepped out from behind the desk, brushed past him and rushed to the door, where I entered the code with trembling fingers. I looked back as the door closed behind me. He was gone.

  Seeing Jay had confirmed my suspicions that I’d blown it that day when he’d asked me out for coffee. He’d been little more than polite just now. And if he hadn’t been completely put off by my cold shoulder that day, the blast of icy formality today should have convinced him of my indifference.

  I kicked myself all the way home, going over our conversations in my mind. I imagined how different things could have been if only I’d responded differently. I was attracted to him. He’d obviously been interested in me. So what was my problem?

  You’re scared, that’s your problem. Of course I’m scared. It’s not just me who could get hurt. I have Kayla to think about. Reasoning with myself only left me questioning my own sanity. It didn’t help me feel any better about the situation.

  I wasn’t at all in the mood to go out that night and thought seriously about cancelling. I couldn’t do it. Tracey had been so excited and I couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her. I would suck it up and go to the pub just long enough to make her happy.

  Gran met me at the door when I walked into the house. She had an excited smile on her face and an envelope in her hand. She held it out. “This came for you today. It�
�s from the university.”

  I took it from her and turned it over in my hands.

  “Oh for heaven’s sake, Sarah. Open it!”

  I ripped it open. A smile spread slowly across my face as I read it. I looked up at Gran. “I got in.”

  “Oh!” she cried in excitement, reaching out and pulling me in for a hug. “I knew you would. I’m so proud of you.”

  Mom was just as excited as Gran when she came home from work and heard the news. “It couldn’t have worked out better that you’re going out. You can celebrate with your new friend tonight and tomorrow night the four of us will go out somewhere special.”

  Suddenly, I was excited about going out with Tracey.

  Kayla was excited as well. I so seldom dressed up that watching me get ready was a novelty for her. She sat on the bathroom counter and looked on in quiet fascination as I styled my hair and put makeup on. Kayla was always talking; in fact, she rarely stopped, so her silence was a little unnerving.

  I swept a light coat of peachy gloss across my lips and turned to face her. “How do I look?”

  She threw her arms around me. “You’re beautiful, Mommy!” she cried.

  I lifted her off the counter and carried her into my bedroom, where I tossed her playfully onto the bed and tickled her until she laughed uncontrollably. I stopped before it turned into hysterics, and blew a big, wet raspberry on her belly.

  When Kayla’s laughter subsided, she looked up at me and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

  I tapped her forehead with my finger. “What’s going on in that cute little head of yours?”

  She giggled. “Your lipstick’s all gone.”

  I touched my lips and laughed. “You’re right. It’s all over your belly.” I pulled a tissue from the box on the nightstand and handed it to her. “Here, clean your belly while I put more lipstick on.”

  I pulled my gloss out of my pocket and reapplied, then wandered over to the closet. “Now, I need you to help me pick out something to wear.”

  We settled on a pair of black, skinny jeans, black boots with heels, and a bright turquoise, silky top that ended at the top of my thighs and hugged my curves a little too tightly for my comfort. Kayla’s first choice had been a deep red, sheer blouse and mine, a plain, brown sweater, so we’d compromised.