Tranquility

by Laurie Gardiner

  Sheila hesitated, as though thinking and weighing her options. After a moment, her shoulders sagged and her eyes welled up with tears of defeat. She finished undressing, glanced at the chair, then at Edie, who simply waved the gun toward the lift. Sheila went to the chair, pulled herself in and buckled the restraint.

  Edie edged closer, careful to keep a good distance between herself and Sheila, and picked up the controller. She raised the lift as high as it would go, then moved it sideways, until Sheila was directly over the tub. She lowered the seat slowly into the tub.

  Sheila gasped as the water covered her legs. She twisted and turned in the seat and sucked in her breath when the water lapped at the sensitive skin of her stomach. Her hands fumbled for the seat belt around her waist.

  Edie waved the gun in Sheila’s direction. “Don’t touch it. Put your hands up on the sides of the tub.”

  Sheila did as she was told. “It’s cold!”

  “Well, you ran the bath, didn’t you? Did you care that I would’ve been cold? Of course not, you nasty bitch! You don’t care about anyone but yourself! That’s why it’s come to this.” She laughed. “No time for a proper bath today, but that’s okay, I didn’t care to see you wash your “fish” anyway.”

  Up went the lift again, into the air as high as it would go, then out and away from the tub. Now Sheila hung, naked, dripping wet and exposed, five feet above the hard tile floor.

  “Put me down!” Sheila demanded. When Edie ignored her, she went back to pleading. “Please, Edie, put me down. Just let me go and I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

  Edie snorted and rolled her eyes. “Well now, we both know that’s a lie.” She put the controller down, slid the gun into her pocket and walked away, leaving Sheila hanging in the air. She plucked a towel off the shelf on the wall behind her, picked Sheila’s clothes up off the floor and placed everything on the bench beside her own things.

  Sheila squirmed uncomfortably. She gripped the edges of the seat so tightly her knuckles turned white. “Edie,” she whined, “don’t leave me up here. I’m cold.”

  Edie ignored her. She went across the room to the sink, filled a paper cup with water, reached into the other robe pocket and pulled out a handful of pills. I couldn’t tell how many, but she took them all, drank the water, and tossed the cup into the garbage. She walked over to the tub where Sheila still whimpered and whined, picked up the controller and looked up at her. “It’s not very nice is it, being cold and helpless, humiliated and degraded?”

  Sheila shook her head. A tear slid down her cheek and she swiped it angrily away. “You won’t get away with this,” she hissed.

  “As I said, I’ve nothing to lose.” Edie pushed the button and released it. She did this over and over again, causing the lift to jolt and the seat to sway crazily back and forth. Sheila squealed with fright. She panicked, sucking in huge, gasping breaths interspersed with wretched sobs. Her wet body slid about crazily in the slippery, plastic seat.

  Finally, Edie stopped and pulled the gun out again. With it in one hand and the controller in the other, she pushed and held the button, bringing the seat all the way down. She dropped the controller and stepped back quickly. Her caution was unnecessary, Sheila was curled up in the seat, shaking and crying. Edie looked at her in disgust. She sighed loudly. I got the strange feeling she’d been hoping for more of a fight, but it came as no surprise that beneath her tough exterior, Sheila was a coward.

  “Go on with you then,” Edie said. “Get your clothes on. They’re on the bench, and there’s a towel there as well.”

  Sheila glanced up quickly at Edie. Her face flooded with relief as the words registered. Her hands shook as she fumbled with the belt around her waist. Finally free, she scrambled out of the chair and rushed across the room, slipping and nearly falling on the wet floor. She snatched the towel off the bench and hurriedly dried her trembling body.

  Edie kept the gun in her hand and one eye on Sheila as she walked to the sink and took a small pitcher off the shelf below. She went back to the tub, filled the container with water, and placed it carefully on the lift chair. She watched as Sheila struggled to pull the clothes onto her wet, flabby body. When Sheila bent to pick up her shoes and socks, Edie said, “Turn around.”

  Sheila turned to face her. Streaks of mascara lined her cheeks. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying and her lower lip trembled slightly.

  “Sit down and put them on,” Edie commanded. She stood silently while Sheila struggled with shaking hands to tie her shoes. “Now stand up, turn around and face the door. Good. Now, don’t move until I say so.”

  Edie shrugged out of her bathrobe and hung it on a hook on the wall near the tub. She went back to the lift, laid the gun on the seat and picked up the pitcher full of water. Her hands shook, but she managed to lift the pitcher to her chest and pour water over her body. She put the pitcher back on the seat, picked up the gun and stood, proud and regal in all her wrinkled, naked glory, looking at Sheila.

  Water dripped from Edie’s body onto the floor, forming a puddle at her feet. She was exhausted. I could see it in her face and in the slight trembling of her hands. Her eyes were becoming cloudy with the effects of the drug she’d taken. “Get out,” she said in a weary voice.

  Sheila bolted out the door.

  Edie moved as quickly as her eighty-three year old body would allow. Holding onto the tub with one hand, she lowered herself to the floor. On her knees now, she stretched her arm into the maze of pipes and hoses beneath the tub that housed the lift mechanics and placed the gun somewhere inside. She lay down, naked, in that cold puddle of water. It was eerily quiet in the room. She shifted slightly and closed her eyes right before the door burst open and I rushed in.

  I felt a sudden, cold chill as I watched the screen and waited for the chaos I knew was coming. It was so strange to watch it now and see it from a different perspective. I could see that her whole body had been trembling. I’d wanted so badly to move her out of the cold puddle of water. It was painful to see the worry on my face, to remember how terrified I’d been that she would die as I sat holding her hand, waiting for help.

  Then I saw it, the slight movement of her hand before she opened her eyes and whispered, “Tell you later.” I watched her face carefully as I leaned in closer to the screen. She winked and closed her eyes seconds before the door cracked open and Abby called my name.

  “I knew it! I knew I saw her wink.”

  Tracey stopped the video. “Do you think she knew about the camera?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, how could she have?”

  “Maybe she heard us talking.”

  I nodded slowly, recalling the way she’d acted that morning before her bath. “I’m sure she knew something. I thought she wasn’t feeling well when I saw her that morning, but now that I look back on it, she seemed nervous. I wouldn’t doubt she eavesdropped if she had the chance. Turns out she was a lot smarter than anyone gave her credit for. I’m pretty sure the reason she sneaked out that day was to go get the gun.”

  “Well, if she did, that means she was planning this for weeks.”

  “Or months,” I added. “Don’t forget she sneaked out in December too. And she told me a while ago that she had things to do before she got out of Dementia.”

  Tracey laughed. “Boy, she really had guts, didn’t she? I hope I’m like her when I get old.”

  I stared down at my hands, remembering the conversation I’d had with Edie about Abby. “Remember when I told you that Abby said I was wrong about Edie not having dementia?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I talked to Edie about it. She admitted that she made Abby think she had it. She said she had to be there to help me get Sheila.” I swallowed hard and felt my bottom lip tremble.

  “Stop it,” Tracey said.

  I glanced up, surprised by her fierceness.

  “Stop feeling guilty. Nobody made her do this.”

  “But she didn’t have to die.” A tear slid down my face
.

  Tracey shook her head sadly. “No, she shouldn’t have. All that crap about everything happening for a reason is bullshit. But, it wasn’t your fault. You made her happy, Sarah. You made her life better.”

  I smiled through the tears. “She made mine better too. God, I miss her.”

  She squeezed my hand comfortingly. “I know you do. At least now you know what happened.” She tapped the camera. “We’ll edit this and get the footage of Mrs. W to the police. Everything’ll be fine.”

  * * *

  Nothing was fine, of course. Edie was dead, and aside from the fact that I already missed her terribly, she’d left loose ends that now needed to be tied up before they were discovered and undid all she had done. Tracey and I went to the bathing room a few minutes before our shift the next morning. The door was open and Debbie from housekeeping was in the shower area mopping the floor.

  Tracey poked her head inside. “Morning, Deb. You’re here late. It’s almost six-thirty.”

  Debbie scowled. “I know. One of the residents had an accident. They brought him in here to shower him off and he had another accident. So, now I’m stuck cleaning it up.”

  There was nothing we could do but wait until later to look for the gun. We went to Hall B to start waking residents. Without thinking, I walked into Edie’s room first. The light from the hallway spilled into the room and across her empty bed. The pain snaked through my chest and I felt my throat tighten. I hurried out of the room before the tears started.

  The morning dragged by. It was agonizing waiting until the bathing room was empty and no one nearby so I could go in and get the gun. I hoped it was still in there. Tracey and I had watched the rest of the video the night before. We’d seen the police searching the room, but the camcorder battery had died partway through.

  After lunch, Tracey and I helped our residents get comfortable in the lounge for the Saturday matinee, then made our way quickly to the bathing room. Tracey made herself look busy outside the door while I slipped inside.

  I hurried to the tub, pulled a pair of gloves out of my pocket and put them on. My heart was pounding as I got down on my knees and reached into the spot where I’d seen Edie place the gun. My hand moved blindly over the cables, but found nothing.

  I heard voices and pulled my hand out quickly. They continued on down the hallway and faded to silence. My hands shook. A bead of sweat slid down my temple. I reached in again and put my hand deep down inside the pipes and cables. Finally, I felt something move. I wrapped my hand around it and pulled it out. It was smaller than I’d expected, but surprisingly heavy. I glanced at it briefly to be sure the safety was on and slipped it into my pocket. My hand shook so badly I was afraid I’d end up shooting myself. I laughed under my breath at the thought. How the hell would I explain that?

  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath to calm myself, stood up and went to the door to listen. All I heard was Tracey’s off-key whistling. I switched off the light, opened the door slowly and peeked down the hallway in both directions.

  Tracey shoved the pile of washcloths she’d been folding onto the top shelf of the supply cart. She pulled her keys out of her pocket. “Did you find it?”

  I patted my pocket.

  “Take your gloves off,” Tracey whispered.

  I peeled them off and tossed them into the garbage on the end of the supply cart. Tracey locked the bathing room door and we walked around the corner to Hall B.

  “I’ll do the final room check and meet you in the main hall,” Tracey said. She veered off into the first room.

  I strode down the hallway, through the main hall, to the change room and straight to my locker, where I took out my duffle bag. I went into a bathroom stall, closed and locked the door and collapsed onto the toilet as my legs gave out. I began to shake uncontrollably. My chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe. I rested my elbows on my knees, dropped my head down between my legs and tried to calm my breathing.

  Finally, I felt my body begin to relax and my breathing go back to normal. I sat up slowly and touched my hand to my pocket. The weight of the gun hung heavily against my hip. It terrified me. I pulled out a fresh pair of gloves, put them on and slid my hand into the pocket. I shuddered when I felt the cold, hard metal through the glove, but forced myself to wrap my hand around the butt and pull it out.

  I’d never shot a gun, but had watched my dad load, unload, and clean his hunting rifles. I opened the chamber, intending to empty the bullets. It was empty. “Oh, Edie,” I whispered, “you crazy, brave, wonderful old lady.”

  I wiped the gun clean and wrapped it in the paper bag used for disposing of sanitary products. My hands shook so badly I almost dropped it. I was tempted to toss it in the garbage right then and be done with it, but I couldn’t risk someone finding it there and connecting it with Edie. I would stop at the coffee shop on the way home and drop it in one of the garbage cans in the parking lot. I tucked it inside a sweater, shoved it into the bottom of my bag beneath my purse and jacket and stood up to leave.

  The change room door squeaked as it swung open and I heard voices. I stood frozen in place while they talked and banged locker doors. Finally, their voices faded. I waited until I heard the door click shut before I left the stall. I peeled the gloves off my sweaty hands and tossed them in the garbage. Touching the gun had left me feeling dirty, so I went to the sink and scrubbed my hands with hot soapy water. My face was burning. I pulled a handful of paper towel from the dispenser, ran cold water over it and held it against my hot skin.

  I straightened up and took a good, long look at myself in the mirror. My skin was flushed. There were dark circles under my eyes. Understandable, since I hadn’t slept much the night before. I took a few deep breaths, left the room with my bag over my shoulder and went to the nurse’s station to do my paperwork.

  I passed Sam in the main hall, strolling along with his earbuds in, humming softly. I gave him a wave. He barely spared me a glance, simply nodded in acknowledgement and continued on.

  It was nearly two-thirty by the time I finished documenting. I picked up my bag, intending to leave, but found myself heading toward Hall B instead. I glanced into the lounge as I passed. Lily was on the couch, enthralled with the singing and dancing on the big flat screen. Beth was beside her sister, head resting on Lily’s shoulder as she dozed peacefully. Rose sat at the table in the corner stringing beads and tapping her toe to the music on the TV.

  I continued on to Hall B. Somewhere, in the distance, Sam began to sing. His deep, gravelly voice filled the hall with the sorrowful words of Hank Williams’ “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry.” His voice quavered with an emotion that echoed the sadness of the lyrics. My chest tightened and I quickened my pace. All the emotions of the past few days welled up, threatening to choke me.

  I walked into the last room at the end of the hall. Mrs. Sellers was in bed, asleep. I stood staring at Edie’s things; her bed, so neatly made by her only two days before, the picture of Tom and Anne on the table beside it, the tartan wool blanket that so proudly proclaimed her Scottish heritage, draped over the back of her chair.

  Tomorrow, Tom would come in, gather her things and take them away. Maria would strip the bed and housekeeping would clean and sanitize everything in sight. I’d come back to work on Monday and all traces of Edie would be gone.

  I turned and left the room with tears streaming down my face. Sam’s lonely voice and the image of Edie, sitting in her chair by the window each morning, waiting for me, would surely haunt my dreams that night.

  Chapter 28 – Afterward

  IT HAD BEEN NEARLY TWO months since Edie had died. Tranquility was not the same without her. There was a new resident in her room, a new chair by the window, new photos on the nightstand. It didn’t matter. I still walked into the last room on the right in Hall B and thought of it as Edie’s.

  Georgia became so depressed after Edie left that she wandered the halls aimlessly, looking for someone she often didn’t remember. I tried my best to cheer her
up and keep her busy, but she was inconsolable. Lloyd was overcome with guilt when he realized how miserable she was and he brought her home to stay. The family took turns helping out and a support worker went in every day.

  Jay spent every Sunday afternoon with Georgia. Sometimes we visited her together. She didn’t always remember me, although she still called me Sahara. She seemed more content being home, surrounded by her family.

  Jay had become an important part of my life in a short time. I was still tentative and slow to open up, but he was patient and seemed content to let me set the pace. I hadn’t told him yet, but I’d decided, when the time was right, I would introduce him to Mom and Kayla. I still hadn’t told him the truth about Edie, the video, or the gun. I doubted I ever would. Some secrets are meant to stay secrets forever.

  Tracey swore to never tell anyone what happened that day and she helped me edit the video. We deleted the footage of Edie and anonymously sent the video of Mrs. W’s bath to the police and Tranquility’s administrator.

  The police came in with a warrant, seized medical records and documentation charts and questioned everyone who had ever worked with Sheila. I’d been the first on-scene that day in the bathing room, but the police seemed more interested in the other incidents I’d recorded, such as Lily’s red wrist and the bruises on Mrs. W’s neck.

  Sheila no longer worked at Tranquility. She’d been arrested shortly after Edie died and was out on bail awaiting trial. Maria had taken over as the new “Bath Lady.” Abby had been demoted and moved to nightshift in Palliative Care and Emily was now the nurse in charge of Dementia. Having Sheila and Abby gone would make my last few months at Tranquility far more enjoyable.

  I was both nervous and excited about nursing school. Tracey had applied as well, but after the deadline and had been waitlisted. In her typical carefree, optimistic way she shrugged it off saying, “Oh well, if I don’t get in there’s always next year.”