Free from Guilt

by Pat Simmons

  No comment.

  “Nothing to say? Why won’t you give him a call? He’s good-looking, well-educated, and employed—all prerequisites for husband material. The bonus is he’s my cousin.”

  Gabrielle could hear the pride in her friend’s voice. “Denise, I’m not saying I have no attraction to him. But the few times we’ve been together, I feel it’s the battle of our wills. Why would I want a relationship with a man who I’ll constantly clash with?”

  “Okay, here’s how this is going down. If you don’t call him, I’ll give him your phone number, home address, work number, parents’ number …”

  She knew her friend was serious. “Okay, okay. I’ll call him.”

  “When?” Denise demanded.

  “Ah, tomorrow … after work. It’s late, almost nine thirty now.”

  “Girl, please. You’re not a telephone solicitor. As of his recent birthday, Cameron is a thirty-two-year-old young man, not eighty. I’m sure he’s up. I’ve never known you to be a procrastinator. I do owe him. He did act as my go-between with my half brothers.”

  What about me? Didn’t she deserve some credit? Gabrielle was the one who mentioned the Jamieson wedding to Denise in the first place. Plus, in a way, she paid for the trip with her buddy airline voucher.

  Humph. Something had to be wrong with her. In the past, she never wavered from her decision concerning a man.

  “Stop it, Gabrielle. I know you. You’re thinking of all the imaginary reasons not to go out with him. There are none. He’s a nice guy.”

  Am I looking for permission to call him? How many of the heroines in her romance novels or movies always needed a nudge to go out on a date? Was she like one of those characters? One thing for sure, she didn’t want to get sideswiped by Cameron’s looks and charm.

  “Well?”

  Taking a deep breath, Gabrielle made the commitment. “Okay.”

  “Great. I’m going to hang up now so you can do that. Smooches. Talk to you later.” Denise disconnected.

  “Right.” Gabrielle was in no rush. She finished eating and helped herself to seconds. Methodically, she tidied her kitchen. Still not ready, she folded her arms and strolled through her two-bedroom apartment.

  Before she could make a move, the phone rang. It was Denise. “Did you call him yet?”

  “No, I was enjoying my dinner …”

  “Gabrielle, I am warning you—”

  “All right. Let me do this before I excommunicate you.”

  “Good,” Denise sounded as if she was about to disconnect. “Oh, I will call you back!”

  “Goodbye!” Closing her eyes, Gabrielle whispered to Jesus, “Lord, You know my heart and my desire for a godly man. I know that Cameron isn’t him.”

  “Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make your paths straight,” God spoke Proverbs 3:5–6.

  “I trust You, Jesus. I don’t trust me in this flesh,” she mumbled, as she went into her bedroom. On her dresser, under a vase, lay the envelope filled with dried rose petals. She pushed them aside to get to the thin, heart-shaped sticky-note pad.

  Flipping through the sheets, Cameron had scribbled his phone number on every page, leaving no room to write anything else. It was silly, cute, memorable, and … romantic.

  Closing her eyes, Gabrielle counted to three and tapped in his numbers on her cell.

  “Why should I be your valentine?” she asked when he answered on the second ring. It was like an instant shot of morning java.

  “Gabrielle,” he said with relief in his voice. “Denise is officially my favorite cousin. And why should Gabrielle Dupree be my valentine? Because I won’t hurt her heart. I promise.”

  “You’re putting a lot of work into assembling your team to sing your praises. In Talise’s eyes, you can do no wrong. And now you’ve put my best friend up to doing your dirty work? Why? Why all the trouble, Cameron?”

  “You have no idea how much I would enjoy answering all your questions until you drift into a peaceful slumber. But then you won’t go out with me. How about dinner Friday night at Vlora Restaurant? It’s practically in your backyard. I’m sure you’ll enjoy their Greek dishes.”

  It took all the control within Gabrielle not to laugh at his dig at her recent whereabouts. For some reason, she enjoyed being a mystery to him.

  “Right. I’ll meet you at the restaurant about six thirty.”

  “This is a date. I prefer to pick you up,” Cameron countered.

  “I prefer to drive, in case the evening doesn’t turn out amicable.”

  Cameron released a heavy sigh. “Give me a blind chance, Gabrielle, please. Whenever you’re ready to leave, I’ll take you home. If you don’t trust me, you can always use your Mace. It won’t be the first time you’ve attacked me.”

  Rolling her eyes, she groaned. “Have you ever heard of ‘let it go’?”

  Before he could respond, Gabrielle was already inviting God along. Okay, Lord, I’m going to trust You and see what happens. Just don’t leave me stranded, please God.

  Finally giving in, she told Cameron, “My address is …”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Finally, it was Friday. Cameron took extra care in his grooming for the evening. He didn’t want Gabrielle to see any flaws in his looks, personality, or heartfelt intentions. He had even started to sport a beard like his middle brother.

  With the goatee, admirers compared him to actor Laz Alonso. Cameron happened to be a huge fan of whatever character he played. Now with a beard like Malcolm’s, people commented that he resembled a younger version of former NBA player-turned-actor, Rick Fox.

  A half-hour later, after double-checking his cologne, deodorant, and popping a breath mint, Cameron walked out the door and slid behind the wheel of his black Audi, hopeful that Gabrielle would want to know what made him tick. He conceded that he possessed an extra dose of self-confidence but commended his parents on instilling that quality in him and his brothers. As a Black man, he was always expected to do better than Whites just to—in their minds—compete with them.

  Stereotypes were real and had caused harm down through generations. It was an unfair burden for society to put on one particular ethnic group. If one Black man behaved badly, his actions couldn’t possibly represent the whole race. How ridiculous.

  Yet, it was the motivation that drove Cameron to be the best and succeed over adversity. As a newbie chairperson of the engineering department, and the first African-American at that, Cameron had to be on top of his game. And he aimed not to disappoint anyone—himself included.

  What Gabrielle and others viewed as cocky was him stepping up to the plate and telling the world that he had arrived and would not be intimidated. What was wrong with that? Inevitably, that was the definition of a strong Black man.

  Leaving his Winter Hill condo in the Somerville area near the MIT campus, he drove across the bridge over the Charles River. His mind was still counting his many virtues.

  Gabrielle didn’t live very far, in the Mission Hill neighborhood near downtown Boston. Unfortunately, Friday evening traffic was a nightmare.

  Being late wasn’t an option. He wouldn’t give her any excuse to dismiss his presence. Successfully maneuvering through the streets, Cameron had seven minutes to spare when he pulled in front of her building and parked. As he got out, he scrutinized her neighborhood for safety concerns and nodded in approval.

  Jogging up her stone steps, he pushed the intercom and waited.

  “Right on time. I’ll be right down,” she said.

  As soon as Gabrielle opened the door, Cameron held his breath. When he exhaled, it came out in a low whistle. “Wow and double wow!” he exclaimed.

  A dress never looked so good on a woman. “You do have that can of Mace, right?” he teased openly, but secretly he struggled to keep his naughty thoughts at bay.

  “If you even think about undressing me with your hypnotic eyes, I just might use it.” He hop
ed she was only teasing him, especially after she was so apologetic after the wedding incident.

  “I have three brothers. Believe me, I know how to defend myself.”

  “Noted.” He withheld a smirk. They were in each other’s presence less than five minutes and, already, she was drawing the line.

  Escorting her to his car and helping her inside, Cameron snuck a peek at her shapely legs. How was he supposed to behave himself with so much temptation? He wasn’t married. So he could look all he wanted as long as he didn’t touch her, couldn’t he?

  When he got in and buckled up, Cameron adjusted the car temperature and headed toward Boylston Street in Copley Square. To impress Gabrielle, he chose Vlora Restaurant, which was actually about fifteen minutes from her apartment. The establishment was known for their authentic Greek food.

  “Thank you for going out with me.” He smiled, stealing a glimpse at her. She was a beautiful woman who didn’t have to flaunt it. He bet she was a spoiled brat as a child and a heartbreaker as a teenager, especially with big brothers.

  “I couldn’t just have you showing up at my doorstep. Denise warned me that she would disclose my address.” She scrunched her nose and laughed. “Do you always expect to get what you want?”

  “Is this a test?” He was determined not to make their date a battle of wills all night. Either she didn’t trust him or herself.

  “Life is a test,” she told him.

  Cameron shrugged. “In all honesty, yes. I work hard and play just as hard. And I’ve earned everything that I have.”

  Surprisingly, Gabrielle sat quietly and didn’t have a comeback. Despite the traffic, they got to Copley Square in no time. But finding a parking space was a task. He circled the block twice before stumbling across a spot someone had just vacated.

  Grabbing it, he came around to help Gabrielle out. The two leisurely strolled to the entrance of Vlora. Cameron had to touch her, so he kept his hand on the small of her back. A gentleman opened the door and they walked inside to a woman behind a podium.

  “Good evening,” she greeted them.

  “Reservation for Jamieson,” Cameron said.

  The woman nodded as a hostess appeared and led them to their table. With a quick survey of the area, Cameron was grateful for the privacy. Once they were seated, the hostess placed menus in front of them and advised that their waiter would be with them shortly.

  As Gabrielle opened her menu, Cameron admired her long slender fingers that were minus a ring. The first time they met, she mentioned she was waiting on God to give her a companion. Really? Had God not sent what she wanted, perhaps in him? Or, had she rejected every man’s intentions and planned to add him to her list? Before the night ended, he would have his answer.

  A young man approached the table, introducing himself before he recited the night’s specials. Cameron waited for Gabrielle.

  It didn’t seem to take her long to decide. “Hmmm. I will have Chicken Mediterranean kabobs and an orange salad.”

  Facing Cameron, the young man asked, “And you, sir?”

  “I’ll take the bone-in rib eye and a house side salad.”

  “And to drink, may I suggest a bottle of Riesling or Pinot?” the waiter asked.

  “Gabrielle?” He wasn’t much of a social drinker, but he did indulge from time to time. That is, despite the little fib he told the young woman on the plane who invited him for drinks.

  “Iced tea for me.”

  Hiding his disappointment, Cameron dittoed Gabrielle’s choice. After the waiter left, he asked, “Do you enjoy a glass of wine occasionally, or do you abstain?”

  “I abstain.”

  “For religious reasons?” he pressed.

  “Maybe.” She shrugged and avoided eye contact. “Somewhat. I had to make some lifestyle choices, and my personal convictions hold me to them.”

  Really? Now he was getting somewhere about the personal life of Miss Dupree. “Why do I sense there’s a story behind your statement? Did something happen that you regret?”

  Again, Gabrielle looked away. She seemed to struggle with whether she wanted to confide in him. He reached across the table and rested his hand on top of hers. She didn’t pull back. “Please give me the benefit of the doubt. You can trust me.”

  Slowly she nodded. “I couldn’t wait until I went away to college, so I could be free from rules. One night, Denise and I, along with three other girls, went out on the town. We were looking hot to pick up some guys.”

  Cameron wiggled his brow and his nostrils flared as his imagination painted the picture.

  “We were drinking to be cool. One friend made a connection with a good-looking guy. They left the bar and moved to a corner booth.” She paused and swallowed. “Anyway, the rest of us were distracted and almost missed the guy when he helped Shannon stand and took her to the door. We all rushed to her aid, but the guy started answering for her …”

  Cameron knew how this story was going to end. “He gave her a date rape drug.”

  Gabrielle nodded. “Yes. I was so scared about what could have happened. I sobered up real quickly. When she woke up the next day, I guess you might say the incident literally scared the devil out of her.”

  Thank God it didn’t happen to Gabrielle or any of the other women for that matter. “I’m glad everything turned out all right.” Cameron’s heart pounded in fear of how things might have turned out.

  “We made a pact that I would be the designated overseer of the group and the driver if anyone went out again. But later that night, when it really hit me about what could have happened, I prayed and cried. I recalled the stories in the Old Testament where the kings did right in the sight of the Lord, but their sons did evil. I didn’t want to imitate that bad generation.”

  Gabrielle paused when the waiter approached their table and placed their iced teas in from of them.

  “I knew drinking was just the beginning of the trouble that I had planned to get into, despite my saved upbringing. Eventually, I was able to witness to my friends. Besides Shannon, one other girlfriend repented, and together they surrendered their lives to Jesus. I describe it as they experienced their Nicodemus moment. Those girls gave God more than lip service. They followed His complete plan for salvation.”

  Lip service. He wondered what she meant by that, but he wasn’t about to discuss religion over dinner. Cameron changed the subject. “Where in Greece did you go?”

  “Who told you?”

  “It seems like everybody, but you. I was disappointed—no, hurt—when I returned from my conference and you were gone.” Cameron hoped he masked his vulnerability.

  This time, Gabrielle rested her hand on top of his. With tenderness, she massaged it. “I’m sorry, I’ve been purposely ex-ing you out of my life.” Suddenly, she covered her face.

  Cameron panicked. He hoped she wasn’t about to cry. “Why?”

  “I’m ashamed to admit it, but you overwhelm me.”

  The night was about to go downhill as her eyes misted. Attempting to recapture the moment, he changed the subject and asked about her trip.

  That’s when Gabrielle’s eyes lit up, as she took a deep breath. Smiling, she quickly became animated. “Ooh, there were so many places to see in a short period of time. Besides the biblical hot spots like the ruins of where Paul and Silas were imprisoned, monasteries in Athens, then Thessalonica, Rhodes, Athens, Greek islands …”

  Listening intently, Cameron multitasked and soaked in her beauty while she rattled off the sites and monuments as if she was the tour guide. The only intermission occurred when the server placed their plates in front of them.

  Reaching across the table, Cameron squeezed her hands, closed his eyes, and bowed his head. “Jesus, thank You for this incredible opportunity to break bread with Gabrielle. Bless our food and sanctify it from all impurities, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

  She repeated Amen and then delicately stabbed her salad. Cameron cut into his steak and looked up to see her smiling at him.

  �
��Although you are mesmerizing right now, what’s so funny?”

  “I’m not laughing, but smiling. I love to hear a man pray. It’s comforting and almost romantic.”

  “That’s your idea of romance?” he snickered.

  “Why? Do you want to add a footnote like you did in that romance book you were reading?” She teased, giggling. With a dab of her mouth, she confessed, “I couldn’t help but read it that day when I saw it sticking out of your briefcase.

  Although Cameron was embarrassed at the time, he had gotten over it. “That was homework.”

  “Homework? Ha!” By this time, Gabrielle was laughing until a tear fell.

  Cameron just watched her. He didn’t care about being the butt of a joke. He’d rather see tears of joy, than misery.

  “Umm-hmm. What kind of homework?” She stuffed more salad in her mouth and crunched, waiting to hear his explanation.

  “Everything that I’ve done from the moment of your rescue to this dinner and all things in between is because I want to know more about you. Your hobbies, likes, dislikes …”

  Gabrielle sobered and her eyes misted again. “That’s sweet. Thank you, Cameron, for going through so much trouble.”

  He dabbed his mouth and leaned close. “If a man is attracted to a woman, he’ll do everything in his power to win her heart. I am that man, Gabrielle,” he whispered.

  Sucking in her breath, she could only stare. When he sat back, Gabrielle reached for her glass of iced tea. Her hand was shaking. After taking a sip, she swallowed. “What makes you think that? You barely know me.”

  “A man knows. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, but my feelings have been pent up for weeks, and I’m running out of time to share them with you.”

  “I know.”

  When their waiter returned and asked if they needed anything else, Gabrielle shook her head.

  “So tell me why you chose to visit Greece.”

  “I love the ruins of things that once were. There’s so much history and culture, and I understand the Greek language has been spoken for at least 3,500 years.”