First Offer (Minimum Wage Sidekick Book 3)

by Lucas Flint

  “What?” said the man in a deep, slow voice. “I didn’t know you could make barriers.”

  “He cannot, villain,” said a voice above us. “I, on the other hand, can.”

  Both the Three Fingers member and I looked up. Standing atop a nearby storefront was a superhero I had never seen before. He was tall and strapping, wearing black, shell-like armor around his body. His face was obscured by a cool-looking knight helmet, but through the eye holes of his helmet, smug green eyes looked down at us, like a god looking down upon foolish mortals.

  “Who the heck are you?” said the man. “You ain’t Rubberman.”

  “I should think not, villain,” said the superhero. He jerked a thumb at his chest. “I am Barriers, one of the greatest superheroes of all time! I defend the defenseless and aid the weak, as well as putting lawbreakers like you behind bars for your willful disregard of the laws which keep the tides of chaos from engulfing all of society!”

  “I don’t understand a thing you just said, but you’re annoying, so I’m going to shoot you,” said the robber.

  He pointed his gun at Barriers, but I shot my lasers at his hand. The lasers struck the member’s hand, causing him to cry out in pain and drop his gun. The man grabbed his hand and doubled over, while I ran over and kicked him in the chin with a kick I had practiced in the Rubber Room loads of times.

  The man fell over onto the street with a crash and lay there, as still as a rock, as water from the nearby spraying fire hydrant gradually soaked his hair. He was out for the count.

  Panting, I stood up and looked back at the van. It looked like the man’s fellow Three Fingers were still unconscious, which meant that Rubberman and I had managed to foil the robbery. That thought should have filled me with satisfaction, but when I looked at the damaged Rubbermobile, the destroyed fire hydrant, the crashed van, and all of the hundred dollar bills floating aimlessly through the air, I wondered if I had caused more harm than good. Not to mention every bone in my body ached from being thrown like a rag doll earlier.

  That was when I heard footsteps above me. I looked up to see Barriers walking down from the building toward me, but he was not walking on a preexisting staircase. No, he was walking on short, narrow blue energy barriers, which appeared one after another to catch his every step. Despite being at least a story above the ground, Barriers showed no hesitation whatsoever in walking down toward me; actually, he was clapping, like I’d impressed him.

  “Bravo, young Beams, bravo!” said Barriers as he descended to the street where I stood. “You displayed true bravery in chasing down these evil criminals! Rubberman is lucky to have a sidekick such as you working for him.”

  “Uh, thanks,” I said. “But, um, who are you, again?”

  “Barriers,” said Barriers. He jumped the last few feet and landed on the street before me. When he stood upright, he was a foot taller than me. “I defeated the villain Hammerhead five years ago and can create energy barriers that cannot be broken by anything. Ever heard of me?”

  Barriers asked me that like I was supposed to say yes, but instead I shrugged and said, “Sorry, Mr. Barriers, I was probably, like, eleven when you beat that Hammerhead guy and I wasn’t paying attention to the news when I was that age. I don’t know who you are, sorry.”

  A flash of irritation appeared in Barriers’ eyes, but then it was replaced by his normal friendliness and he chuckled. “Never mind that, young Beams. It is irrelevant. I am just glad that I managed to find you, as I have been looking forward to meeting you for a very long time.”

  “You have?” I said, tilting my head to the side. “Are you a fan of me, too?”

  “Not precisely,” said Barriers, shaking his head. “Instead, I would like to make you an offer.”

  I frowned. “What kind of offer? You aren’t trying to sell me something, are you?”

  “Of course not,” said Barriers. “I should have been clearer. I mean I would like to make you a job offer, one I doubt you would refuse.”

  “A job offer?” I repeated. “What are you talking about?”

  Barriers held out a hand toward me. “I would like for you to quit working for Rubberman and become my sidekick.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  I stared at Barriers in surprise. “Wait, did you just say that you wanted me to become your sidekick?”

  Barriers nodded. “Indeed.”

  “But don’t you already have a sidekick of your own?” I looked around, though I didn’t see any other superheroes or sidekicks on the street aside from me.

  “Ah, I don’t have a sidekick at the moment,” said Barriers. “But that is why I have extended this offer to you. I have heard all about your heroic exploits, such as the defeat of the terrible villain Fro-Zen and the infamous assassin ZZZ. It would be an honor to have a sidekick as resourceful and brave as you working for me.”

  I really didn’t know what to say, mostly because I’d just met Barriers and this all seemed very sudden. It didn’t help that my mind was still half-focused on the situation around me, which meant I wasn’t thinking entirely about Barriers’ job offer.

  At that moment, someone shouted, “Beams!” and I looked back down the street the way I’d came to see Rubberman running toward us. He was followed by a large contingent of police officers from the Golden City Police Department, who began streaming around the street, making their way toward the crashed van and its unconscious occupants. No doubt the police were going to arrest the defeated Three Fingers members, but I didn’t care about that at the moment, because a deep sense of dread came over me when I saw Rubberman. I looked back at the crash Rubbermobile and wondered if this was going to be the last day of my very young life, because Rubberman looked very angry.

  “Uh, hi, Rubberman,” I said, waving at him as he approached. I gestured at the crashed van, from which GCPD officers were starting to drag out unconscious Three Fingers members. “Look, I managed to stop the Three Fingers from getting away with the money. Mission accomplished, right?”

  Rubberman stopped several feet away from me. He was panting and sweating even harder than me. His eyes darted from the crashed van to the crashed Rubbermobile. His expression was hard to read, but he looked even angrier than he had a second ago.

  “You drove the Rubbermobile,” said Rubberman. He looked at me. “And crashed it. Without my permission.”

  I gulped. “What? Oh, right. The Rubbermobile. I didn’t really mean to take it. I just stepped in for a moment to grab something, but then the door closed behind me and I guess Rubberband must have thought I was you, because the car started up and went after the van immediately. I tried to stop it, but—”

  I stopped talking because I realized that Rubberman wasn’t buying even one bit of my story. I looked down, because I couldn’t stand to look at the disappointment in his eyes.

  “Beams, what did I tell you about the Rubbermobile?” said Rubberman. “I seem to remember telling you that you can’t drive it until you get your driver’s license.”

  “I know,” I said, “but—”

  “But you ignored my orders,” said Rubberman. “And nearly got yourself killed. It’s going to cost a lot of money to fix the Rubbermobile.”

  “I know,” I said. “But you told me to go after them and I didn’t want to let them get away, so I thought you would understand if I—”

  “I do understand,” Rubberman said. “I also understand that you could have used your eye beams to blow out the van’s back tires and keep them from getting away. It would have been just as effective as taking the Rubbermobile for a joyride, and a lot less costly, too.”

  Irritation flashed through me when Rubberman said that. The way he said it, it was like I just took the Rubbermobile for a joyride. Didn’t he realize I did it to catch a bunch of bank robbers? It wasn’t like I was bored and did it for fun or anything like that, not that there was anything fun about getting trapped inside a screaming metal death trap that could go up to 200 miles per hour, anyway.

  All of a sudd
en, Barriers stepped forward and said, “Rubberman, you needn’t be so harsh to the boy. He merely did what he thought was right, like all superheroes and sidekicks do. And anyway, he managed to catch the Three Fingers before they got away. Surely that must count for something, mustn’t it?”

  I looked at Barriers in surprise. I had forgotten he was standing there and had not expected him to come to my defense. Even weirder, he sounded sincere, as if he really believed everything he said.

  Rubberman must have finally noticed Barriers, too, because he looked at Barriers. But his expression changed instantly. Whereas before he had looked disappointed, now he looked annoyed. “What are you doing here? I thought you had sold your business to Munroe Acquisitions.”

  “You know him?” I said to Rubberman.

  “I do,” said Rubberman, “although sometimes I wish I didn’t.”

  “Come now, Rubberman, no need to be sour grapes,” said Barriers. “You and I go way back. Remember when we got together to do that appearance at San Diego Super Con 2015? We had a great time together, didn’t we?”

  “Perhaps you did, but it was a wash for me,” said Rubberman stiffly. “I sold almost nothing because of that sudden attack from Apparition. An attack, I might add, you didn’t help with until he was defeated.”

  “Well, someone had to guard the booths and protect the merchandise, right?” said Barriers in an innocent voice. “Besides, you had the situation totally under control. I knew you would be okay.”

  “He held six hostages,” said Rubberman. “And half of them had to go to the emergency room for extensive surgery. Surgery which could have been avoided if you had helped.”

  “Water under the bridge,” said Barriers with a dismissive wave of his hand. “What’s past is past and all that. Let’s not focus on what happened in the past, but on what the future holds for us.”

  I frankly didn’t like Barriers’ rather blase dismissal of what sounded like a rather serious situation. Even if it did happen two years ago, the fact that Barriers apparently had no problem with letting innocent people get hurt because Rubberman ‘took care of it’ made me wonder just how much of a ‘hero’ this guy really was.

  “Right,” said Rubberman. He tilted his head to the side. “What are you doing here, anyway? I read an article last year in Superheroes Weekly that stated that you sold the Barriers business to Munroe Acquisitions for ten million dollars and you retired to a private island in Jamaica afterward. I thought you’d left the superhero business.”

  “Oh, well, you know you can’t trust everything you read online,” said Barriers. “Yes, I did sell my brand and business to Munroe Acquisitions, but I didn’t technically ‘retire.’ I merely took an extended break in order to recharge my soul and figure out what I wanted to do next. Think of it as a sabbatical. Have you ever taken a sabbatical, Rubberman?”

  “No,” said Rubberman. “At least, not since I started my superhero business I haven’t.”

  “Well, you should,” said Barriers. He sighed and looked up at the sky. “Especially in Jamaica. Such a beautiful country, especially when you have your own private island that most people can’t get to.”

  “You have a private island?” I said in surprise.

  “Indeed,” said Barriers. “It is amazing what money can buy. I even have several servants, though at the moment I’ve left the island under their care while I am away attempting to restart my superhero career.”

  Rubberman raised a questioning eyebrow. “You’re restarting your career?”

  “Of course,” said Barriers. He put his hands on his chest. “I realized that the world needs more, not less, superheroes than ever. Some say that the superhero market is crowded, but I say nonsense. As long as evil and crime exist in the world, there will always be a need for superheroes, regardless of how big the market is. I have always believed that when you are granted a special skill or power, it is God telling you that he has a special plan for you that you can’t just ignore for your own reasons.”

  “Uh huh,” said Rubberman, who based on his tone, sounded as skeptical as if Barriers was proposing that the world was flat. “And where are you going to start working?”

  “Why, right here in Golden City, of course,” said Barriers with a smile. “While you are no doubt doing a good job keeping the crime levels of this city low, I think you could use some of my help. We’ve worked together in the past, after all, to great success for both of us.”

  “If by ‘great success’ you mean I did all the work and you got all the fame, yeah, I guess you can call that great success for both of us,” said Rubberman.

  “Your sarcasm is as sharp as ever, my friend,” said Barriers. “But no need to be hostile. I have no intention of replacing you. I simply want to work with you, as we have in the past.”

  “Despite the fact that my contract with the Golden City government is exclusive?” said Rubberman, folding his arms across his chest.

  Barriers chuckled. “Rubberman, you of all people should know that there are ways around exclusivity clauses in government contracts.”

  “There are?” I said. “But doesn’t that defeat the point of calling them exclusivity clauses?”

  “Perhaps, but the law is surprisingly flexible in the hands of the right lawyers,” said Barriers. “For example, did you know that exclusivity clauses were ruled by the Supreme Court as only applying to independent superheroes; that is, superheroes who are not affiliated with any superhero hiring agency or similar organization? A city government can make deals with independent superheroes and agency superheroes while still honoring their exclusivity clauses with the former. It’s quite convenient.”

  “Wait, are you working with Heroes United?” said Rubberman in surprise. “I didn’t think Nathan would let you join, given your past.”

  “I have nothing to do with Heroes United or any other superhero hiring agency,” said Barriers. He patted his chest. “Although I’ve taken up the Barriers identity again, it’s only under the agreement of Munroe Acquisitions. Munroe Acquisitions still owns the brand; however, they are letting me use it again, because they have let it sit around for several years not knowing what to do with it.”

  “How does that allow you to work in this city?” I said. “Munroe Acquisitions isn’t a superhero hiring agency.”

  “Notice what I said before, young Beams,” said Barriers. “The relevant Supreme Court ruling, Glaciator v. The City of Austin, says that a city government can make separate exclusivity deals with superheroes from superhero hiring agencies or ‘similar’ organizations, which includes superhero acquisition organizations such as Munroe Acquisitions. And did you know that Munroe Acquisitions happens to have a deal with the Golden City government to provide the city with any of its superheroes, if it so desires?”

  I looked up at Rubberman. “Is he telling the truth? That sounds far-fetched.”

  “He’s correct,” said Rubberman grudgingly. “I’ve studied the relevant laws, though I didn’t think Munroe Acquisitions would ever actually act on its deal with the government. I always thought they did that to ensure that other acquisition agencies didn’t get it first.”

  “Well, Sasha Munroe told me that she saw a real need for more superheroes in Golden City,” said Barriers. “She called me up six months ago and asked me to don the Barriers costume again in order to protect the city. Coincidentally, I’d been thinking the exact thing same before she contacted me. But I believe it is destiny, rather than coincidence, which led to Sasha calling me to discuss my return to the world of superheroes.”

  “Sasha called you personally?” said Rubberman suspiciously. “Just to offer you your job back?”

  “Indeed,” said Barriers. “Technically, however, I have yet to make my official re-debut into the world of superheroes. Most people still don’t know I’m back yet, but I’m working closely with Munroe Acquisitions to take the superhero world by storm very soon.”

  “Re-debut?” I said. “What’s that?”

  “A term
I just made up,” said Barriers. “It is my reintroduction to the world of superheroes. Once other people hear it, it will catch on like wildfire. Trust me on this.”

  It seemed like kind of an awkward term to me, but before I could say that, Barriers continued speaking. “And to complete my re-debut, I will need a brand new sidekick, one who I can trust to stand by me and fight for what is right even in the face of society’s vilest criminals.”

  “You mean an easily marketable sidekick, right?” said Rubberman.

  “Well, I can’t deny that that would be a nice bonus,” said Barriers. He looked at me again. “What say you, Beams? Would you like to become my new sidekick?”

  “What happened to your old one?” said Rubberman. “What was her name, Winged Gal?”

  “She grew up and got married,” said Barriers dismissively. “Besides, even if she wasn’t an adult, the fact is that female sidekicks are not as popular as male sidekicks. Not that they can’t be brave, but when it comes to marketing, male sidekicks have wider appeal.”

  “I thought you cared more about sidekicks who are willing to fight evil than marketable ones,” said Rubberman.

  “It doesn’t matter,” said Barriers. “What matters is that Winged Gal is out of the superhero business for the foreseeable future. Beams, on the other hand, is still in it and will likely remain in it for at least a couple more years. Therefore, he is the perfect candidate for my next sidekick.”

  “I guess so,” I said. I scratched the back of my head. “But I’m not sure—”

  “I’ll paid you triple whatever Rubberman is paying you,” said Barriers. “And give you twenty percent of royalties from licensing deals, too.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. “Triple pay? Twenty percent royalties? Well—”

  Rubberman’s hand suddenly fell on my shoulder, causing me to look up at him. But he was not looking at me; instead, he was looking at Barriers, his expression as distrustful as ever.