First Offer (Minimum Wage Sidekick Book 3)

by Lucas Flint

  I grimaced and shook my head. “No, thanks. We’re fine.”

  Barriers nodded and rested the pizza back on the desk where it had been sitting momentarily before. “All right. If you want to miss out on some of Golden City’s finest pizza, that’s your call. You’re far more interested in telling me about this life-threatening situation in which you found yourself, aren’t you?”

  I nodded, relieved that we were getting to the point. “Yeah. I need your help.”

  “Then speak,” said Barriers, gesturing at me. “I’m all ears.”

  So I explained to Barriers everything that had happened back in the Munroe Acquisitions building, although I left out information like my invisibility watch and the flash drive I stole off of Takeshi’s body, because I didn’t trust Barriers entirely. Barriers, to his credit, listened pretty well, not saying a word until I finished. I paid attention to his eyes, because they were the only part of his face visible through his helmet. It was hard to say what he was thinking as I explained the situation to him, but if I had to hazard a guess, I’d say he didn’t look very surprised, which was either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on why he wasn’t surprised.

  “And that’s why we’re here,” I finished. “We want you to help us find the proof necessary to link Sasha to the Three Fingers, possibly even to other crimes that she may have committed. Will you help us?”

  Barriers was strangely quiet, not at all like his usual boisterous self. His chair creaked under him as he adjusted his position, while his green eyes became slightly obscured by the way he tilted his head forehead. I wished that Barriers would just talk already, because his strange silence was making me nervous.

  Then, without warning, Barriers laughed. He laughed long and hard, his laughter echoing slightly in his helmet, like someone laughing into a bucket. His sudden laughter made me jump, while James just stared at Barriers as if convinced that Barriers had lost his mind. Barriers, on the other hand, did not seem to notice either of our reactions. He just laughed and laughed, slapping his knees and moving around so much in his office chair that it sounded like it would break if he applied any more stress to it.

  “Barriers, what’s the deal?” I asked. “Why are you laughing? This isn’t a joke. This is serious, like, life-and-death serious.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Beams, I truly am,” said Barriers. He managed to calm down, although he still giggled every now and then and I could just imagine him grinning like an idiot under his helmet, even though I didn’t know what his face looked like. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I’m not taking this situation seriously. I am. That much I can assure you.”

  “But you laughed like Beams just told you the funniest joke in the universe,” said James. “That doesn’t seem like the reaction of someone who is taking this situation seriously.”

  “You two are too young to understand how laughter can be serious,” said Barriers. He shook his head. “Regardless, Beams, I can assure you that your life is not at all in danger. Neither is your secret identity, for that matter. Indeed, now that I know what you are here for, I can say with absolute certainty that you can go back to your home without fear of anything bad happening to you or anyone you care about.”

  I stared in disbelief. “You’re joking, right?”

  “While I do have an absolutely devilish sense of humor, in this case, I’m not joking at all,” said Barriers. He picked up an unopened can of Pepsi and cracked it open. “Clearly, you and Rubberman have misunderstood everything you saw and experienced. Let me clear up a few misconceptions for you.”

  “Misconceptions?” I repeated. “We’ve misunderstood nothing. We—”

  “Please let me finish,” said Barriers, holding up a hand. “You had your turn to explain. Now it’s my turn, okay?”

  I shut my mouth, but I still didn’t feel convinced that Barriers was telling the truth. Still, I decided to hear his reasoning; maybe he knew something I didn’t.

  “All right,” said Barriers. The mouth of his helmet opened briefly and he sipped from his Pepsi before closing his helmet again. “So this all started with a printed out email which Rubberman found on the body of one of the Three Fingers gang members, right?”

  I nodded. “That’s correct.”

  “And the email was from someone named Takeshi, yes?”

  I nodded again.

  “That was the only identifying information on the email, correct?”

  I was starting to see where he was going with this. “Well, yeah, because the email address itself was blanked out—”

  “Then how do you know that this email was from Sasha’s bodyguard?” Barriers asked. “Takeshi is not a very rare name for a Japanese man, after all. When I went to Japan one time to film a commercial there, I worked with at least three different men named Takeshi who were members of the film crew. This Takeshi in the email could just as easily be someone else.”

  “Yes, but what about the Data Room in the company headquarters?” I asked. “Takeshi tried to beat me up, even kill me, because he didn’t want me to get any emails that might link Sasha to crime.”

  “Or he might have just been zealously protecting the company’s private emails,” Barriers pointed out. “Private emails, in other words, which are not allowed to be read by anyone outside of the company. Not because they contain criminal secrets, but rather because they don’t want their business plans and strategies out in the open where anyone, especially their competitors, can read them.”

  I bit my lower lip. “But my house. A Japanese man came to my house demanding to know where I was. He even had sky blue eyes, just like Takeshi.”

  Barriers chuckled. “But you didn’t see him yourself, did you? You said your friend here did.”

  “I’m telling the truth,” said James. “He was a tall Japanese man with blue eyes. According to Beams, there’s no one else who fits that description.”

  “But are you sure that that was Takeshi?” said Barriers. “He didn’t tell you his name, did he?”

  James rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, no, but it seems logical—”

  “Hold it right there,” said Barriers, holding up a hand. “Logic doesn’t matter if the evidence contradicts it. Besides, just because tall, blue-eyed Japanese men are rare doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Back in Japan, I met a lot of Japanese people with blue eyes, though I will admit they are rarer than their dark-eyed counterparts.”

  “But what would some random Japanese guy with blue eyes want with me if he isn’t Takeshi?” I asked. “There’s no other explanation for it.”

  “Perhaps he’s a Jehovah’s Witness or something like that,” said Barriers. “There is a local Kingdom Hall in the city that likes to bother me every now and then. They’ve already been by this office at least two times since I returned to the city, and one of them was a Japanese immigrant, if I remember correctly.”

  I looked at James. “Lightning Fist, you don’t remember if the guy asked you about religion or anything, do you?”

  James shook his head, albeit slowly and uncertainly. “No, but it was a very brief meeting. All I remember was that he asked for you by name. That doesn’t seem like the actions of your average Jehovah’s Witness; I mean, Alex has never visited a Kingdom Hall or been a Jehovah’s Witness ever.”

  “I don’t know, they’ve always addressed me by name even though I’ve never even stepped foot into one of their Kingdom Halls,” said Barriers. “Of course, I am a fair bit more famous than you. It’s still a possibility you should consider, however.”

  I bit my lower lip. So far Barriers had managed to shoot down each one of my points, but I wasn’t ready to give up yet. “But Rubberman thinks this is all suspicious. He thinks that Sasha is up to no good.”

  Barriers rolled his eyes. “Of course he does. He always thinks that people he doesn’t like are up to no good. He’s quite paranoid that way.”

  “Paranoid?” I repeated. “I’ve never thought of him as paranoid before …”

  Barri
er’s eyes glimmered with glee. “Because you don’t know him like I do. He and I used to work together every now and then, which is how I became acquainted with his … paranoid tendencies, shall we say.”

  “What do you mean?” I said. “What paranoid tendencies?”

  Barriers sipped from his Pepsi again. “Anytime he talks about Sasha, for one. She’s been after his business for so long that he assumes that everything bad that happens to him is part of some grand conspiracy on her part to get him to sell his business to her. He had that attitude when I was independent and, from what it sounds like, he’s still that way even now. Quite sad, because he’s a brilliant hero and businessman in his own right, but I suppose we all have our blind spots that we are simply unaware of.”

  I wanted to disagree, but at the same time, I couldn’t deny that Barriers had a point. I wouldn’t called Rubberman paranoid, per se, but I couldn’t deny that this entire situation was based off some pretty shaky premises. It wasn’t like we had any hard proof or evidence that Sasha or any of her employees were engaged in criminal activities, after all. And I remembered our conversation the day before, when Rubberman had first proposed the idea that we infiltrate Munroe Acquisition to find evidence of criminal activities, an idea that suddenly didn’t seem so smart to me anymore. He had spoken pretty harshly about Sasha, maybe even unfairly.

  “Well, Sasha keeps trying to get his business from him, though,” I said. “Even though he’s made it clear to her that he doesn’t want to sell his business to her or anyone else.”

  Barriers shrugged. “What is so wrong with persistence? Hasn’t Rubberman taught you that persistence is the key to success in this business? In my view, Sasha is a smart businesswoman who knows what she wants and won’t give up until she gets it. That’s not criminal or even immoral. That’s just the free market.”

  When Barriers put it that way, I had to admit that it didn’t sound so bad. Maybe Rubberman had a point about being tired by Sasha’s persistent attempts to get his business from him, but wanting to buy someone’s business was not the worst thing in the world a person could want. It wasn’t like Sasha wanted to take over the world or anything like that. “But the bank robbery—”

  “As I said, there’s no proof that Sasha is in any way, shape, or form connected with the Three Fingers gang,” said Barriers. “Actually, I’d say that your story is far more incriminating than whatever Sasha may have done.”

  “What do you mean?” I said. “What did I do wrong?”

  “You and Rubberman broke into Munroe Acquisitions for the alleged purpose of finding dirt on Sasha,” said Barriers. “But to a judge’s eye, this looks more like corporate espionage, which is illegal, you know.”

  “What does a judge have to do with this?” I said. “We’re not in court.”

  “But you could be,” said Barriers. He leaned forward, his eyes locked on mine. “Sasha knows that you and Rubberman came to her company to steal information from her. After all, you fought her assistant, who has probably told her that by now. She may decide to sue Rubberman in court … and given how deep her pockets are, I wouldn’t feel so comfortable about Rubberman’s chances of success in the courtroom.”

  My hands felt cold. “But we didn’t do anything wrong. We didn’t steal any company secrets.”

  “Maybe, but from my point of view, this seems like a legally dubious action,” said Barriers. “Of course, I’m not a judge or lawyer, but even I know that you don’t need a whole lot of evidence to take someone to court. And even if you haven’t done anything wrong, it might takes years of your life, millions of dollars in court charges, and hours and hours of bad press to prove that, by which time Rubberman might not even have the clothes on his back anymore. Did that occur to either of you when Rubberman came up with that brilliant plan?”

  I said nothing, because Barriers was right. In our haste to find proof of Sasha’s criminality, neither of us had even considered what might happened if we were caught and taken to court. I was probably even less of a lawyer than Barriers, but even I could see how this might look bad to a judge.

  Barriers leaned back and sipped his Pepsi again. “Perhaps Rubberman would even be forced to sell his business, meaning you’d most likely lose your sidekick license. That doesn’t sound like fun, does it?”

  “Is she going to sue us?” I asked with a gulp.

  “I don’t know,” said Barriers. “I’m not Sasha, nor have I heard from her about this. But I could see her doing it. Sasha isn’t the kind of woman to take these kinds of attacks on her business lying down. It depends on whether you stole anything of importance from her. Did you?”

  Again, I said nothing, mostly because the answer was yes. I was thinking of the flash drive I’d stolen from Takeshi. If its contents were important enough, I could easily see Sasha suing us for stealing them from her. And what was worse was that she would have a very good case in court if she chose to go that route. With all of her millions and millions of dollars, I could see Sasha winning easily.

  “Your silence is telling,” said Barriers. He downed the rest of his Pepsi and tossed the can into an overflowing trash can under his desk. “Listen, boys, you seem like good kids, so I’m not going to tell Sasha we talked. But if I may give you a suggestion, Beams, I think you may wish to rethink your association with Rubberman before you do anything else. Lots of good sidekicks have had their careers—and even lives—ruined by the stupid decisions of their bosses. I’d rather not see you end up like them.”

  Once more, I said nothing, because I had no response to Barriers’ points. I just felt embarrassed … but more than that, I felt angry. Angry that I’d gone along with Rubberman’s plans without asking if his reaction was reasonable, angry that I’d let myself get worried that someone was after my life, angry that I’d gotten worked up over nothing, beaten up by Takeshi for no reason … it was the angriest I’d ever been in my life.

  “Anyway, I’ve got some important work to do, so I can’t sit around and talk with you anymore,” said Barriers. “But if you ever need to talk, Beams, you know my number. I’m always willing to talk with an obviously conscientious, hard-working sidekick like you. If you weren’t associated with Rubberman, you would have a great future ahead of you, a great career in this business.”

  I nodded, though it was a noncommittal gesture. “Yeah, okay.” I looked at James. “Lightning Fist, let’s go.”

  I rose from my chair and walked out of Barriers’ cubicle, with James following closely behind. Neither of us said a thing until we got into his truck, which James immediately turned on even before we got our seat belts on.

  “So …” James looked at me awkwardly. “Guess we should go back home. Mom’s making spaghetti tonight and—”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I want to go back to the Elastic Cave for a few minutes.”

  James raised an eyebrow. “Why? Did you forget something back there?”

  “I want to talk to Rubberman,” I said. “And I want to talk to him now.”

  I said that with the most conviction with which I’d said anything in my life. To my surprise, James didn’t argue, which was weird because he usually wasn’t afraid to argue against me if he disagreed with what I said. He just pulled the truck out of the parking lot and drove in the general direction of the Elastic Cave, not saying a word the whole time.

  That was good, because I didn’t want James to convince me not to do what I was going to do.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  A few minutes later, I stepped out of the elevator into Level One of the Elastic Cave, anticipation rising in my chest. I had come down to the Elastic Cave alone, having told James to remain in the truck for my return, because I didn’t think this would take a long time. Part of me wished that James was with me, though, because having him with me would make it a lot easier to do what I was going to do.

  I expected to find Rubberman in his office, but to my surprise, Rubberman and Adams were right there at Mission Control. On the big main comp
uter screen was what looked like some kind of encryption process, which Adams was clearly trying to hack, while Rubberman stood beside him watching his every keystroke in anticipation. Neither of them seemed to notice my arrival until Rubberman looked over his shoulder and smiled.

  “Beams!” said Rubberman, turning to face me. “I don’t know what you’re doing back so soon, but it’s good to see you. Adams and I are getting closer and closer to hacking Takeshi’s flash drive. It’s pretty heavily encrypted, but Adams has already knocked down most of the barriers. It won’t be long now before we find the proof of Sasha’s criminal activities, perhaps enough to put her behind bars for life.”

  Rubberman smiled the whole time he said that, as if delivering the happiest news of his life. I was glad that my visor hid my face, because I didn’t want him to see that I wasn’t smiling at all. I was still a little hesitant, even conflicted, about what I wanted to say to him, and the more time I had to think about it, the better, though I couldn’t put it off forever.

  “Yeah, that’s nice, Rubberman,” I said. I hesitated. “I guess.”

  Rubberman’s smile vanished, replaced by a quizzical frown. “’I guess’? What do you mean ‘I guess’? This is a good thing. We’ll finally have the proof needed to put Sasha behind bars once and for all.”

  I looked down at my feet. “Sure. Whatever.”

  “What’s the problem?” asked Rubberman. “By the way, how did your meeting with Barriers go? What did he say? Is he going to help us?”

  I looked up at Rubberman again. “No, he isn’t.”

  Rubberman sighed. “Can’t say I’m surprised. He works for Munroe Acquisitions, after all. He’s never been the type of superhero who would risk his paycheck to do the right thing.”

  “Or maybe he just doesn’t think that stealing from your competitors because you’re paranoid about them is right,” I muttered.

  That got Rubberman’s attention real quick. He stepped toward me, his expression one of warning and confusion. “What do you mean? Who is paranoid about their competitors?”