Pizza for Thanksgiving

by Trina Solet

  Mack had more than enough racket growing up in one foster home after another. The last few years before he started college, it was a group home for him. There was no peace and quiet there. That's why he valued this living arrangement. It was almost like having the place to himself, and that was a dream come true.

  It was a funny dream to want to live in a place like this. Walking around with his coffee cup in his hand reminded Mack that the place had zero appeal. There was some kind of ugly wallpaper on the walls. It had blue stripes and tiny, brown flowers. The brown carpet looked like it died an ugly death but never got a proper burial. The two bedrooms were tiny with square windows that hardly let in any light. The living room was full of old furniture, and worst of all, an uncomfortable couch. That's where he and Enzo hung out in shifts, never together. They never spent more than two minutes in the same room.

  Mack had no problem with any of that. The apartment was good enough, and he didn't want to be friendly with his roommate. Still, he hated that he upset him. But Mack also hated that Enzo knew he was alone for Thanksgiving. That's why he got mad. No way would he have this guy feeling sorry for him. If only Enzo had left well enough alone.

  Mack was used to being by himself and not depending on anyone. That wasn't the easiest thing in the world at holiday time. And the way they stacked up, Turkey Day then Christmas. The whole season was booby trapped. That didn't mean he wanted Enzo to feel sorry for him and throw him a charity Thanksgiving. Just the thought of that put his teeth on edge.

  Swallowing the last of his coffee, Mack got ready to go to class. It was cowardly, but he hoped not to run into Enzo on campus. Once Turkey Day was over, things would go back to normal. Then Mack would feel like himself again instead of worrying about his roommate's hurt feelings.

  If he was hoping this would blow over fast, so far no luck. The next time he saw Enzo, he was with a group of his friends. They were being loud and eating lunch at one of the benches by the cafeteria. It was a sunny day. The cold didn't have as much bite to it where the sun was shining. Standing in the shade, where it was a few degrees colder, Mack watched Enzo surrounded by that noisy group. He was cheerful, smiling even as his fries were stolen by a tattooed girl with long braids.

  Thinking that was a good sign, Mack felt relieved until Enzo's eyes fell on him. There it was, the look Mack hated washed over Enzo's face. The smile was gone. Enzo's expression turned apprehensive and his eyes sad. Damn it, if he didn't have such pretty eyes, Mack probably wouldn't care if they looked sad or not.

  He gave Enzo a small wave and walked away. He had one more class, then he had to go to his job. He didn't have time for this crap. But even as he walked away, he could picture Enzo with his questioning eyes, his hair long on top, always falling into his eyes. How many times had he seen him push it out of the way and then blink a few times? That guy needed to stop being attractive and sweet, and making Mack feel bad.

  At work, the bad feeling was still gnawing at him. It didn't help that Pal's Party Store was full of turkeys. Their pictures were on everything from cocktail napkins to table-sized turkey platters. How was he supposed to stop thinking about his own pathetic, lonely Thanksgiving when every other thing he rang up had a turkey on it?

  His pride made him say no, and in his view, that meant he was justified. But saying no made Enzo unhappy, and it made Mack feel like shit. By the time he headed back home, Mack was sick of feeling like a bad guy.

  Protecting his pride wasn't worth it if it made Enzo look so down. And he had been so nervous when he made the offer. Just for that reason, Mack should have gone easy on him instead of being a dick about it. But he was so used to trying to look tough. His "I don't need anybody" attitude was deeply ingrained. It was second nature to him.

  Learning to be independent no matter what was a hard lesson. Being needy was a liability. It was the same as asking for a beating or worse. Mack learned to depend only on himself. He couldn't unlearn it just like that, no matter how pretty and unhappy Enzo's eyes were.

  That didn't mean he wanted to hurt someone who meant well. He at least owed him an apology. Enzo had certainly apologized enough. And for what? For doing a nice thing. Mack really was a dick.

  As he sat on the living room couch and did some reading for class, he thought about what excuses to make when he apologized. He had time to figure it out. Enzo wasn't there yet, and Mack wondered if he was out with his friends.

  He didn't have to wait long though. As he heard a key in the door, Mack looked up from his laptop. Enzo came in then stopped like seeing him sitting there startled him. That's when Mack realized that he had been reading in the dark. The living room was lit only by the light from his laptop screen.

  "Sorry," Mack said to him. "I forgot to turn on the lights." He got up and turned on a lamp. He looked back and found Enzo staring at him.

  "No problem," Enzo said. He seemed confused, maybe because Mack didn't apologize for every little thing. Apologies made a guy look weak, and being weak made him a target through most of his childhood.

  Seeing that he was on his way to his bedroom, Mack stopped him.

  "About Thanksgiving..." As soon as he said that, Enzo faced him, looking both eager and hopeful.

  Mack stopped, not sure what he wanted to say. Enzo's eyes looked so bright, and it wasn't just the light from the lamp shining in them. Mack was afraid that when he finished what he was planning to say, he was going to see that light dim.

  "I think I overreacted," Mack started to say, and Enzo nodded. It was like he was agreeing with him but also anticipating what he was going to say next.

  That made Mack pause again, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

  "You mean you want to have Thanksgiving together?" Enzo asked, rushing him.

  "If you don't have any plans..." Mack heard himself say.

  What the hell? He didn't know why he was saying that. Maybe because there was no good excuse not to have turkey with Enzo. They were in the same boat. It wouldn't be that weird for them to have Thanksgiving together.

  The more he thought about it, the more Mack realized that refusing Enzo didn't make any sense. It was a stupid, knee-jerk reaction. Enzo deserved better than some half-baked apology. He deserved a big, fucking yes.

  "Like you heard, I'm free for Thanksgiving," Mack said. That was sort of like a big, fucking yes.

  "Okay," Enzo said and a smile spread across his face. "I don't have plans. I wasn't even going to cook just for myself, but if there's two of us, it might be worth it."

  "You still don't have to cook. We can order a pizza," Mack said to try to contain what was happening.

  The look on Enzo's face told him that wasn't an acceptable option. "No. I want to cook. I'm not a good cook or anything. I'm pretty sure I can make something edible. If you want, I mean. I can try and make us a real Thanksgiving dinner."

  Fuck, if it would make him happy, who the hell was Mack to say no to a home cooked meal. Charity or not, he would let Enzo feed him. "I'm sure it's gonna be fine. I'm not picky."

  "I want to try and make a whole turkey, but not a big one," Enzo said. He was clearly excited about it. "It might turn out terrible."

  "In that case, I guess we might as well have a terrible Thanksgiving together," Mack told him with a shrug. There was something about the guy, he just couldn't say no to him. "But the turkey is on me. I mean I'm just buying it. After I bring it in, it's all yours. I wouldn't know the first thing about what to do with it."

  Enzo nodded and smiled again. He looked so happy as he rushed to the kitchen and started checking the ingredients and making a list. Seeing him like that almost erased all of Mack's reservations.

  Now that his Thanksgiving plans were all set, Mack spent the next few days wondering at himself. Was he really doing this? He had to. There was no backing out now. But who the hell had body-snatched him and agreed to this?

  That's what he was asking himself as he was eating a quick sandwich between classes while half listening to Dave. He was still on a
mission to take Mack along to his family's Thanksgiving. Having a big, noisy family, Dave considered a holiday alone just plain wrong.

  At first, Mack had no intention of sharing his new Thanksgiving plans with Dave, but he made that impossible. He kept bugging him to go along with him and Kate to his family's Thanksgiving dinner. Mack had to tell him he had plans just to shut him up.

  "I made my own plans. Thanksgiving for two. Now lay off."

  "Is she hot? Hotter than Kate?" Dave asked, jumping to conclusions.

  Mack thought for a minute and compared Enzo to Kate.

  "Definitely hotter."

  "Kate will claw her eyes out," Dave warned him.

  Yeah, Kate was a sweetheart. Mack didn't make any comment about her though. He was busy feeling weird for letting Dave believe he was having Thanksgiving with some girl.

  "It's my roommate, not a girl. He'll be cooking me dinner," Mack told him.

  Dave made a face. He didn't think much of his Thanksgiving plans. "Thanksgiving with your nerdy roommate. I don't know if that's more or less pathetic than Thanksgiving alone. You should still come with me and Kate."

  "I already said yes to Enzo. I'm committed to this now."

  "Make an excuse and back out. Say I broke my leg and you have to drive me or something." Dave was relentless, but Mack was used to that.

  Dave was pretty much the only real friend Mack made since he started college. Actually it was more like Dave targeted him for recruitment and stalked him until he gave in. He was one of those mouthy, friendly guys Mack thought he hated, but maybe not when there's a good guy and a real friend behind all that noise. But there was still so much that Mack didn't share with him. He couldn't.

  He was used to hiding who he was and what he felt. It was part of his strategy of survival. Not wanting to get the shit beat out of him, he learned to keep his mouth shut and his eyes averted. It was now second nature.

  When someone assumed he was into girls, he let them. He made sure not to look at a guy too long. The better looking a guy was, the less he looked at him. Enzo barely got a glance from him until recently.

  It was Enzo's eyes that kept Mack from looking at him. They were too pretty – hazel and bright as stars. Plus he was so shy, and that just pulled Mack closer. At the same time, it made him stay away. No one was ever going to catch him looking at Enzo. Eyes averted, a mumbled hi when they passed each other, and Mack was gone.

  Each of them lived a separate existence in the same small apartment. For a while, Mack wasn't even sure Enzo was gay. He was one of those guys who people might assume was gay because he didn't throw his masculinity in your face the way Mack had learned to do. People made assumptions about Mack too, and they were usually wrong.

  Fact was Mack hadn't seen Enzo dating either girls or guys. He never brought anyone to the apartment except friends and occasionally people he studied with. Then he overheard his loud friend saying how he was going to find a cute guy for Enzo. That made Mack smile. He had a gay roommate. And what did he do about it? Did he come out to him? Maybe drop a hint? No. He stayed as closed-mouthed on the subject as ever.

  Chapter 3

  Right before Thanksgiving, things were kind of hectic at the party supply store. Between work and stuff he had to do for school, Mack didn't get a chance to go to the grocery store until Thanksgiving morning. Enzo said that was OK, but Mack was worried. What was going to be left of the turkeys by then? To top it off, Mack didn't know anything about buying a bird though Enzo did warn him not to come back with a frozen turkey.

  On Thanksgiving morning, Mack only had a cup of coffee, no breakfast. He was too on edge to eat. Why the hell was he so anxious? It was just a stupid turkey dinner. It wasn't like he was cooking it. But he had that nervous feeling anyway, almost like it was a date. How the hell would he even know? He had never been on a date in his life. And this definitely wasn't one.

  He needed to stop worrying about that and go get that turkey. Gulping down the last of his coffee, he looked toward Enzo's bedroom door. He was sleeping a little later than usual, but he would be up soon. Mack needed to make sure he had a turkey to cook.

  When he got to the only store in the area that was open on Thanksgiving, Mack was relieved to see that some fresh turkeys were left. Now it was just a matter of picking out the right one. It was dumb of him to insist on getting a turkey, but he was dead set on contributing. So far all he got were a few things from the party supply store – Happy Turkey Day napkins, a plastic serving platter for the turkey, and the oversized aluminum pan for cooking it. With his employee discount, it didn't amount to much.

  To try to figure out if there was a trick to turkey buying, he stared for a while and spied on an old couple as they picked out a turkey from the half dozen in there. They picked a big one and worked together to get the turkey into their cart.

  That didn't really give Mack any clues. He got worried that all the good ones might already be gone so he got in there. Just for him and Enzo, he figured he should get the smallest one. That turned out not to be that small. It was a twelve pound turkey. If they had smaller ones, they probably ran out.

  Mack loaded it into the cart, paid for it, took it to the apartment and presented it for Enzo's approval. He found him already busy in the kitchen. When Mack showed up with the turkey, he smiled like he was happy to see both of them.

  "Oof. You weren't kidding around when you bought this turkey," Enzo said as he took it from him.

  "You can handle it right?"

  "Just barely," Enzo said, but he was still kidding around about how heavy it was.

  "I mean cooking it."

  "And I meant that I need to do some sit-ups, pushups, weights. Oh, hell, I need to do all of it," Enzo said.

  "What are you talking about? You look good," Mack said, realizing too late what just popped out of his mouth.

  Fearing the worst, he watched as Enzo smiled shyly and blushed. His reaction wasn't what he expected. He wouldn't have been surprised if Enzo had told him to back off. That smile of his made Mack want to shower him with compliments.

  Actually, he didn't know how to compliment a guy except by accident. In his experience, openly admiring a guy got you a beating not a flustered, cute guy smiling at you while his eyes twinkled. OK, this wasn't going to turn out well if he didn't stop staring at him and wanting to lick his bright red earlobes.

  For now, the turkey was going in the fridge. Mack moved a shelf to make room for it. He was holding the fridge door open while Enzo maneuvered the turkey in there. That put them too close. Mack just had to take one step and he would know what Enzo felt like, how he smelled and tasted. He could put his hand at the spot between his neck and the collar of his checkered shirt and slide his fingers over his warm skin.

  To make himself stop thinking crazy and staring at Enzo, Mack looked around at all the stuff that was spread all over the kitchen counters.

  "This looks ambitious," Mack said seeing everything Enzo had piled up on the limited counter space.

  Enzo told him what he had going on there. "I have carrots, regular potatoes, and sweet potatoes for the sides. I'm not making a salad because no one cares about salad on Thanksgiving."

  "Or any time," Mack said, letting Enzo know where he stood on the subject of salad.

  Enzo gave him a wan look for that. "I got biscuits from the bakery, but we'll warm them up."

  The mention of a bakery got Mack thinking about something way more important than biscuits. "Are we having pie?" he asked eagerly. He looked around and saw no sign of any pie. If Enzo didn't have one stashed away somewhere, he was ready to go to the store and get one or two.

  "I have pumpkin pie and whipped cream in the fridge," Enzo assured him.

  "Oh, good."

  Enzo smiled at how relieved he was. "I'm also making boniatillo con coco. That's sweet potato pudding. It has coconut and cinnamon."

  That explained the bag of coconut flakes Mack had spotted. "Anything with sweet potato sounds good to me."

&nbs
p; "Don't get too excited. This is the first time I'm making it."

  "So how can I help? I mean, what can I do that doesn't involve any actual cooking?" Mack offered. Looking around, he didn't know what was going on. The kitchen counters looked like something exploded. He saw two cutting boards, a few too many knives and vegetables everywhere. "I didn't even know you could cook." He had never noticed Enzo doing more in the kitchen than making a sandwich or boiling pasta.

  "Me either," Enzo said. Seeing Mack's worried look, he explained. "I mean, I can cook, but I've never cooked a whole turkey."

  "That's why you should definitely let me help," Mack told him. "Then if it doesn't turn out right, we won't know who's to blame."

  That didn't make Enzo feel better. "Way to be positive," he grumbled. "We're already dividing up the blame. This is going to be an awesome Thanksgiving dinner."

  "So what do I do?" Mack asked, ready to do his part.

  Enzo sighed and gave him a pitying look. "I'm sorry I have to do this to you, but could you peel and chop the onions," he said ominously and stared at Mack like he was doomed.

  "Um. I can probably handle that," Mack said, wondering what the fuss was about.

  Enzo shook his head. "Cutting onions stings your eyes and makes you cry. It's the worst."

  "I guess that will be my job," Mack said with a grin.

  "Don't act tough. You don't know."

  Mack laughed. Actually cutting onions did turn out to be pretty damn unpleasant, but not as bad as Enzo made it out to be.

  "Told you," he gloated when he saw Mack blinking back tears.

  He didn't disagree with him. "At least it smells good when it's cooking." He was looking at the pan where the onions were going in to cook along with some other vegetables. His mouth was already watering and dinner was hours away. Maybe skipping breakfast wasn't a good idea.

  "I'm just frying this up to go in the stuffing. There's sausage too." As he mixed what was in the pan, Enzo threw in some herbs and spices, making it smell even better.