A Love Transformed

by Tracie Peterson

  “With Adolph out of the house, it made everything all the easier. I went upstairs, told the maid I wouldn’t need her anymore, wanted no one to disturb me, and that even in the morning she should just let me sleep and wait until I rang for her. I locked the doors to my room, including the one that adjoined Adolph’s, just in case he . . . well . . . just in case. I had thought to dress in something nice and lay myself out like they might at the funeral home, but then I didn’t want to shame Adolph by having the stigma of a suicide to deal with and decided I would simply dress for bed, take the arsenic, and appear to have died in my sleep.”

  “What stopped you?”

  She gave a hint of a laugh. “Well, God did. At least that’s whom I credit. When I went to where I’d hid the arsenic . . . it was gone.”

  “Gone? Had someone taken it?”

  Shaking her head, Clara shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t suppose I ever will. None of the staff said a word about it. In my frustration I tried to imagine how else I might end my life, but with my plan foiled, it took my confidence, and I turned to the Scriptures and prayer for comfort. After that, I believe God gave me a peace of sorts. I knew I would never have the life I’d wanted, but I felt I had to make do with my lot. Also I figured you had probably gone on with your life and found someone else to love. I’d asked about you in my letters to Madeline, but she only replied telling me you had gone away and she had no idea where.”

  He nodded. “That’s true enough. I didn’t tell anyone. I just left.”

  “Shortly after that night I learned I was with child. It hit me hard to realize I might have killed my unborn child in killing myself. I had no problem ending my own life, but the thought of ending an innocent life gave me no end of grief. I later lost that baby, and it only caused me all the more guilt as I worried that my horrible thoughts had somehow caused it to happen.”

  “But then you had the twins?”

  “Years and years later. There were other miscarriages, and my sorrow only deepened. When the twins were born I realized that I had something to live for. For the first time since leaving you, I wanted to live—to go on and make a good life. I decided for their sake to find some way to care about their father, and I did. I never loved him like I love you, and he never loved me. But we learned, in spite of that, to build something that was at least amicable.”

  “But why would a man marry without love?”

  “That’s easy,” Clara replied. “Money. I didn’t learn until years later that Adolph came courting me because of my stepfather. My mother had put it out that I was available for marriage, and Adolph saw an opportunity to better his situation. He wanted my stepfather’s backing as he and his brother expanded their jewelry business. My stepfather pitied me, I think. He knew my mother treated me abominably and thought I’d have a better life as Adolph Vesper’s wife. He made a deal with Adolph as part of my dowry and we were married. It wasn’t until years later when I commented on some of the jewelry designs—pointing out flaws and telling how I would do it differently—that Adolph found value in me. I started designing pieces of jewelry. I told him about the Yogo sapphires from Montana and how beautiful they were, and he thought them perfect to specialize in. The pieces were a huge success, and now everyone who is anyone either owns or is vying for a piece of the Vesper Yogo collection of jewelry.”

  “And you designed them?” Curtis never failed to be amazed at her talents.

  “I did and I still am. Everyone thought Adolph had created them, and I let him take credit for it. Now that he’s dead, his brother still wants to continue the business. He plans for me to continue sending him designs.”

  “Sending him designs?”

  She nodded. “I don’t plan to return to New York. I never cared for life in the city, and that city in particular has too many bad memories. I don’t want the children growing up spoiled and without the ability to do things for themselves.”

  Something tugged at his heart, and though he tried to deny his feelings for her, Curtis found it impossible. “I’d like to meet them.”

  She smiled. “I’d like that too.”

  14

  Clara felt a surge of excitement as she gathered Hunter and Maddy to introduce them to Curtis later that evening. Maybe things would finally be different now. Maybe Curtis could forget about the past and realize there was nothing there that could harm them now. She whispered a prayer that he could finally be free to love her again.

  The children were more than a little curious about the man staying in the room down the hall, who Uncle Paul had told them had been hurt during a cave-in at a nearby mine. Hunter in particular wanted to know all the details, despite his mother’s warning that they comport themselves in a very well-behaved manner.

  Curtis was propped up in bed when Clara entered with Hunter and Maddy on either side. “Curtis, these are my children, Maddy and Hunter. Children, this is Mr. Billingham. He is my dearest friend in the world.”

  His eyes met hers with a single brow raised in question. Then just as quickly he looked to the children. “Call me Curtis. Mr. Billingham is much too long a name and way too formal for out here in Montana.” He smiled. “I’m very pleased to meet you both.”

  Hunter had no problem in seeking out more information. “Unca Paul said you got buried in a mine. Is that why you’re all wrapped up like that?” He pointed to Curtis’s chest and then to his leg, which was still in traction.

  “It is,” he replied. “Come feel. It’s as hard as a rock.” Curtis knocked on his chest.

  This intrigued Hunter, who quickly left Clara’s side and made his way to the bed. He stretched as far as possible and mimicked Curtis’s action. His face lit up as he looked back at his mother.

  “It is like a rock, Mama. Did you feel it?”

  Clara shook her head. “I haven’t had a chance to do that just yet.”

  “Well, it’s real hard.” He looked at Curtis with an expression of new admiration. “How do you scratch under that?”

  Curtis laughed. “Not very easily, and believe me, it itches like crazy sometimes.”

  “Can you tell me about getting hurt at the mine?” Hunter asked.

  “Well, there was a lot of dirt and rock that fell from the sides and the top. It fell on me and I was knocked unconscious,” Curtis said. “But I can tell you some more about it later. I still haven’t had a chance to say hello to your sister.”

  Maddy still stood by Clara and eyed Curtis warily. Clara smiled. “Maddy is a little more reserved.”

  “I don’t mind that at all, but I do hope we can be friends, Miss Maddy,” Curtis replied.

  The girl took a step forward, fixing him with a steady gaze. “Do you like cookies?” she asked, surprising them all.

  “I do,” Curtis answered. “Madeline makes the best cookies I’ve ever eaten. I’m especially fond of her oatmeal cookies.”

  Maddy nodded and moved another step toward the bed. “Do you like cats?”

  Clara and Curtis exchanged a glance before he smiled at the child. “I do. I’m very fond of them—especially kittens.”

  Again she nodded. “What’s your favorite color?”

  “Blue. What’s yours?”

  Maddy seemed to relax a bit. “Yellow, because it’s so bright, like the sun.”

  “Yellow is definitely a beautiful color,” Curtis agreed.

  For several minutes Maddy said nothing more. Hunter meanwhile tapped Curtis on the arm. “Was there a lot of blood?”

  “Hunter, you shouldn’t pester Curtis.”

  Curtis shrugged. “It’s all right. He’s naturally curious.”

  Hunter looked back at him. “Was there a lot of blood?”

  Curtis chuckled. “I really don’t know. I was knocked unconscious.” Hunter frowned, and Curtis quickly explained. “I was hit in the head so hard it made me go to sleep.”

  “I didn’t know you could get hit so hard you would go to sleep,” Hunter replied, seeming to consider this.

  “Well, we mustn�
�t wear him out,” Clara said. “Mr. . . . Curtis needs his rest so that he can continue to get well.”

  “May I come back sometime and talk to you about the mine?” Hunter asked hopefully.

  “I guess that would be all right, so long as it’s all right with your mother.”

  Hunter raced back to Clara. “Is it all right?”

  Clara smiled. “We shall see. Come along, Maddy.”

  Maddy had remained at the foot of the bed watching Curtis with great interest. She turned to go at her mother’s beckoning, then stopped and turned back ever so slightly. “We can be friends,” she told Curtis, then walked in a most sedate manner from the room and down the hall with Hunter racing past her.

  Curtis shook his head as if amazed at her having reasoned it all out. “They are beautiful and well-behaved children, Clara.”

  She nodded, feeling her heart near to bursting with love for Curtis. “I’m glad you think so. I’m hopeful in time that you might even come to . . . care for them.”

  Curtis frowned. “This doesn’t change anything.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He shook his head. “You and me. We still can’t make a future together.”

  Clara felt as though he’d slapped her. “But why not? We talked and I thought you understood that I don’t hold the past against you. I love you.”

  She could see that he was uncomfortable. It was as if he were battling within himself.

  “I don’t know what the future holds for me,” Curtis finally said. “I don’t even know if I’ll ever get out of this bed again. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to walk. I can’t . . . I won’t let you waste your life with a cripple.”

  For a moment Clara stood silent. She could see he was quite serious about this. No doubt he felt it was all quite logical to refuse her based on this development, but Clara didn’t see it that way. She had spent too many years regretting what might have been.

  “I think you must have hit your head very hard to be speaking such nonsense. Maybe when you heal up a little more your good sense will return.” She headed for the door.

  “It’s because I’ve got good sense that my mind is made up. Like we said earlier, we’ve both changed a great deal. We aren’t the same children we were fourteen years ago.”

  She stopped and fixed him with a look. “No, we’re not—I’m not. Therefore I’m not letting anyone bully me ever again. Not my mother, and certainly not you.” She slammed his bedroom door behind her and fought back the tears that threatened to flow.

  For all the good their talk had done, Clara was still more than aware that Curtis had never said anything about loving her. Maybe he truly no longer felt that way about her. Maybe he didn’t mind the idea of their being friends but had no intention of making their relationship more.

  If he no longer loves me—if what he said is true—how can I possibly stay? I can’t just be friends with him.

  By the first of June Otto was in quite a dither. He’d had to come up with his own money to put in place of the money Adolph had hidden somewhere. It didn’t sit well with him to take from his own coffers, but there had been nothing else he could do, since there were deadlines to meet. His associates wouldn’t have allowed otherwise. He only hoped he could find the money, and if not, that he could sell off enough of his brother’s stocks to make it up.

  In the world, things were happening fast. America was training her soldiers with a goal to ship out the first troops within a month. The newspapers carried continued stories of how there were a limited number of men who had actually experienced war and knew how gruesome it could be. Some articles suggested that troops would be sent over without proper training.

  Major General John Pershing, nicknamed “Black Jack” Pershing because of the time he spent commanding the black buffalo soldiers of the Tenth Cavalry, was called upon to make the American forces ready for war.

  Otto had seen pictures of the man. He was dashingly handsome, causing many a lady to swoon, while his no-nonsense approach to training and refusal to allow for mistakes or excuses caused men to hate him. Otto supposed, given the man’s considerable experience in the army, that Pershing would be a force to be reckoned with. But weren’t all heroes considered that? Otto smiled, knowing with great confidence that Pershing and his inexperienced army would be no match for the well-trained soldiers of the kaiser.

  When the office clock chimed the hour, Otto put away his papers and ledgers. He was anticipating the arrival of Charles Weidel. Otto wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the man. Weidel was the man Otto and Adolph answered to regarding their part in helping Germany. Weidel was also the man who had left Otto little choice but to use his own money in place of the funds given to Adolph.

  Right on time, Otto heard voices in the outer office and knew Weidel had arrived. Otto pulled on his coat and had just returned to his desk when Jack opened the door to announce Weidel.

  “Come on in, Charles. Jack, we’re not to be disturbed.” His secretary nodded and pulled the door closed behind the stocky man’s frame.

  “I’m glad you could see me on such short notice,” Charles declared. He took the chair opposite the desk without waiting for Otto’s invitation. “I’ve just come from a luncheon with several prominent politicians who are most anxious to increase patrols in the harbor.”

  “That’s unfortunate.” Otto knew this would put Weidel in a foul mood.

  “Of course I pretended to agree, but then I offered a few suggestions of my own.” Weidel took out a handkerchief and blotted his perspiring face. “All of this, of course, means we must move up our schedule.”

  Otto shook his head. “But that would be almost impossible. I’m already under investigation because of Adolph’s death. Badeau and his men are watching me all of the time. I think for now you’re going to have to forego using me to benefit the cause. I’m afraid I would only be a liability at this point.”

  “Nonsense. Badeau is shooting in the dark, and we both know that. If he had anything concrete, he would have already arrested you. No, we must move quickly. Several of our associates have been arrested and charged with all manner of crimes. We need to prove to these people once and for all that we have more power than they have ever imagined.”

  Otto began to toy with the letter opener on his desk. “What is it you think we should do?”

  “We must make a grand show of things. I’ve talked it over with some of our supporters. It’s been decided. One of the confiscated German ships will be moved to the Brooklyn Naval Yards in three days and refitted to transport troops. Our plan is to pack enough explosives in the ship to blow it to kingdom come, along with a good part of the naval yard.”

  “What? Do you have any idea how difficult that will be? The amount of necessary explosives alone is enough to make such an idea impossible. And talk about a place that is well guarded. They have patrols all over the place.”

  “That’s why it’s imperative that we act immediately.” The man was unmoved by Otto’s concern. “We have our ways, and what I need from you is your assistance in secreting the needed explosives into the city and down to the warehouse. You won’t be alone in this endeavor. I have more than a dozen men helping in this effort. That way if any one of you is caught, the others might still make it through.”

  “I can’t possibly see this working, Charles. You know as well as I do that Americans are already running scared, looking for spies behind every tree, seeing submarines not only along the coast but sailing up the Hudson and East Rivers. We can’t possibly do this in three days. Three weeks would be too soon.”

  “I’m no fool, Vesper. Our associates have arranged for it to be fairly easy to get supplies aboard the ship. The original cargo was removed some time ago when the ship was first taken. However, there are a great many things that are needed to transform the ship into the necessary transport for soldiers. This cargo will include our explosives, although no one will realize this but our associates. We have men who are working on the ship alr
eady, and they will lay in the explosives and set everything in motion.”

  “Even if they can pack the entire hold with explosives, how will they ever arrange to set it off once the ship is in the naval yard?”

  “That isn’t your concern. Your job is to help with the transportation of the explosives.” Weidel narrowed his eyes. “You will do this. On the fifteenth of this month, Congress will vote on President Wilson’s proposed Espionage Act. If approved, it will make things much more difficult and give the local authorities the rights they’ve been looking for. Even suspicion will be enough to throw people in jail. We will accomplish this matter, and once it is done, we will send a letter to Washington telling the president that if he moves forward with this nonsense, we will arrange to blow up even more ships.”

  Otto’s throat was so dry he could hardly swallow. “But these things take time. You can’t just transport explosives around the state without being subject to inspection.”

  “Honestly, Vesper, if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re siding with the enemy.” Weidel leaned forward and pounded his fist on the desk. “I didn’t come here to invite you to a garden party. If you refuse to cooperate, you will be sorry.”

  Otto knew it would be necessary to assuage the man’s temper. “I assure you, Charles, I have no desire to refuse cooperation. I will happily do my part to lend aid to Germany. However, I don’t want to be a liability to our cause. Neither do I want to fail due to a lack of necessary time.”

  “You didn’t lack for time in arranging for your brother to be killed,” Weidel countered, his voice low and menacing.

  “That was completely different. That involved one man. What you’re proposing involves dozens.” Otto could see by the man’s expression that he wasn’t going to change his mind. Otto would have to go along for now and then create something to complicate the matter and interfere in his part. He had no idea of what that might be, but he would have to figure it out in the next few hours. Perhaps killing Weidel would be just as valuable to them as his brother’s demise. “Very well. What is it you want me to do?”