He snuck a peek over at her, taking in her messy hair escaping from her ponytail. Her face was bright, her cheeks pink. She looked satisfied, and fuck if he didn’t love that he was the cause for that satisfaction. He wanted to always be the cause of it.
Probably feeling his gaze, she glanced over at him, the small smile that had been on her lips growing to a full-blown grin when she caught his stare. “Quit staring, creeper.”
Ian chuckled, reaching out for her hand and linking their fingers together. He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on her face. “So...”
Cocking an eyebrow, she glanced at him. “So?”
He shifted slightly in his seat, unsure how to broach the subject of them. “About last night...” He trailed off, noticing the color deepening on her face as she caught her lip between her teeth.
“And this morning,” she added, tossing him a sexy smile.
And now he had to shift in his seat for an entirely different reason. His body responded to her verbal prodding, remembering exactly what this morning had entailed. Both times.
“Yeah,” he finally answered, his voice tight. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, their hands resting against his thigh. “I realize that I’ll probably have to turn in my balls for this, but I’m wondering—” he took a deep breath, “—where it leaves us.”
“Oh.”
That single syllable spoke volumes.
With a sigh, he squeezed her hand. If she didn’t want the whole shebang with him, he needed to school his expression to show that it was okay. He didn’t want to jeopardize everything with her because their expectations were slightly divergent. “So it was just a onetime—or three times—thing?”
“What?” She snapped her eyes to his before moving them back to the road. “No, I don’t want that. I love being with you, Ian. And I loved being with you. I just...I don’t think I’m ready for anything big, you know?” She sighed, her fingers tightening against his. “I’ve had such shit luck with relationships, and I love you too much to try things only to fail. Can we just continue how we are and see where it goes?”
He smiled, though he knew it didn’t reach his eyes, and nodded his head as he lifted her hand to his mouth for a brush of his lips. “Sure, Liv.”
She visibly relaxed in her seat, and a hesitant smile curved her lips. She loved him too much—as one of her best friends—to try for something more, and he loved her too much—as his everything—not to. He knew he should be grateful for this chance with her, however small it was. He just couldn’t help the ache in his chest, knowing that she wasn’t his completely.
Chapter Fourteen
Olivia didn’t know if missing her weekly brunch with Emma was a blessing or a curse. She wasn’t sure prolonging the inevitable was such a good idea, and the unease in her stomach told her much the same. But what could Olivia tell her? That she’d had the most unbelievable sex of her life with Emma’s brother? She was sure that would go over really well.
Usually, she would have speed-dialed Emma on the way home from a satisfying romp, spilling all the grisly details to her best friend. But now...well, things were a bit complicated. Olivia was certain Emma didn’t want to hear just how big her brother’s cock was or how well he knew how to use it. She probably also didn’t want to hear that he’d give her friend’s latest conquest a run for his money in the Best Tongue category.
The anxiety she had over how Emma would react to Olivia dating her brother had grown steadily the more weddings she and Ian had been to. And after last night...well, she didn’t have the faintest idea how to tell Emma any of that. Didn’t have the faintest idea how Emma would react to that. If Emma’s track record was any indication, Olivia would be fast on her way to losing one best friend. Not to mention compromising her relationship with the other by fucking him.
Besides, was there really anything going on that she needed to alert her best friend about? If what she and Ian were doing was just sex between two friends, she didn’t want to go down that path with Emma. Even though Ian had broached the subject of something more with her, he’d relented quickly when she’d said she wasn’t in the right place for something serious. Besides, what guy didn’t want sex without the confinement of a steady relationship?
There were four weddings still left on her calendar. Four more dates. Four more instances to see where this thing with Ian could possibly lead, other than back to her bed.
* * *
By noon on Wednesday, Olivia had already been at the bakery for seven hours, having settled in early as she did every day to start baking for the morning rush. She was exhausted, starving and running low on patience. Unfortunately, she still had another solid six hours before she could even think about heading home. After taking the weekend off, she had a lot of catching up to do.
With Susan manning the front of the store, Olivia’s concentration was focused on a new recipe for cupcakes she was trying out. As such, she didn’t hear the bell in the front of the shop or the shuffle as footsteps headed in her direction. It wasn’t until she had a mouth full of freshly baked cake that she realized someone was in the kitchen with her.
Her back still to the door, she asked around a mouthful of food, “Everything okay, Susie?”
“I hope you saved some for me.”
Startled, Olivia spun around, coming face-to-face with Ian. He looked good enough to eat in his tailored suit and crisp white shirt, his bright blue tie a bold statement against the starkness.
“Ian!” She grinned and headed over to him, wiping her hands on her apron as she went. She knew she must look like a mess—no doubt had flour all over her face, not to mention crumbs on her mouth. Probably even had some batter drying in her hair. She should have been embarrassed, but oddly enough, she could only think about hugging him.
“Hey,” he said with a smile once she reached him.
Realizing her flour-covered apron and his dark suit wouldn’t make a good pair, she paused just before she was going to wrap her arms around him. “I don’t want to get you dirty.”
He reached for her hand, tugging her to him the rest of the way before he wrapped her in the hug she’d wanted to give him. He placed his mouth just below her ear, his voice soft. “You know I like when you get me dirty.”
Laughing, she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, so happy to see him. She’d known he had an interview in the city sometime that week, but they hadn’t spoken since she’d gotten home on Sunday.
“You didn’t tell me you’d be here today,” she chided as she pulled away.
“What fun would a surprise be if you knew about it?” He smiled down at her and she felt the warmth of it radiate to her very center, soothing her nerves when she’d been at her breaking point only minutes before. She loved that about him, how he’d always been the calm to her storm.
Slowly, his hand came up, his thumb sweeping over the corner of her mouth before trailing across her lower lip. “Crumbs,” he answered absently, his eyes still focused on her mouth.
Even though she’d been kissed hundreds of times before, the anticipation of this man kissing her caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach. Giving him what she hoped was a welcoming smile, she moved closer, tilting her head up.
That, apparently, was all the invitation he needed as he finally brought his mouth to hers. The kiss was soft, simple, nothing like the heat of the kisses they’d shared over the weekend, yet this one made her knees weak.
“Do you have time for lunch?” he asked, his lips still so close to hers.
She glanced over his shoulder to the door that led to the retail portion of her little shop. There, in the window in the middle of the door, Susan was giving her a thumbs-up with a giant smile on her face. Olivia giggled, shaking her head, then looked back to Ian. “Yeah, I think I can get away. If you don’t mind me going out looking like this, that is.” With a sweep of her hand, she gestured to herself, her nose wrinkled at her disheveled appearance.
“Quit fishing for compliments,” he teased.
>
Laughing, she reached back and untied her apron, then hung it on the hook next to the door. “Hey, a woman never tires of hearing how hot she is.”
He reached for her hand, pulling her to him before she could push through the swinging door. “In that case, you look amazing, all coated in sugar like that. I want to take you to bed and lick every inch of you.”
Olivia felt the warmth spread up from her chest, her entire body coming alive with interest.
Noticing how he’d made her speechless, he chuckled, then leaned in for a quick kiss before grabbing her hand. He pushed through the swinging door, pulling her behind him. As he looked back at her, there was an unmistakable glint in his eye. “Later,” was all he said, but it was enough to send a tingle of want straight to her sex.
Later couldn’t come soon enough.
Chapter Fifteen
As Ian watched Olivia practically inhale her chicken sandwich, he couldn’t help but think how normal this was, how right it felt. He loved surprising her at her bakery and sweeping her off to lunch. The images of him living in the city and that being a weekly occurrence bombarded him, and he was more anxious than ever to find out if he got the position he wanted.
His interview went well, very well, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he got a call later in the week with a job offer. The thought of him living there again was both exhilarating and nerve-racking. If he lived so close to Olivia, it would really open up the possibility of them as a couple. It would also mean that she couldn’t hide behind that as a reason why they shouldn’t pursue something serious. Of course, those things were the exact issues that had his gut twisting.
Right now, things were easy between them, as this impromptu trip proved. Their base friendship was still their solid foundation, only now he could kiss her when he wanted to, could reach out and touch her without an excuse. He loved the freedom of that. What he didn’t love was the other freedoms they’d essentially given each other. They weren’t committed; they weren’t even technically in a relationship of any sort, so they were both free to see other people. Though he knew he’d never do that while with her—in whatever sense—he didn’t know where she stood. And that was killing him. Imagining her on a date with someone else was pure hell.
“What are you so serious about over there?” she asked after she took a drink.
“Just thinking.”
She waited for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, she prodded, “About?”
Shrugging, he reached for his water, sucking an ice cube in his mouth before crunching it absentmindedly. “What it would be like to live here again.”
“Well, obviously it’d be fucking awesome.”
Her blunt words pulled a sharp laugh from him, and he nodded. “Yeah, I suppose it would be.”
Tilting her head to the side, she studied him intently. “But you’re not sure. I thought you wanted this, Ian. Are you having second thoughts about moving back?”
He should have known she would be able to sense something more coming from him. She always was good at getting straight to the heart of matters and helping him talk out his problems.
“No, that’s not it. I still want to move back. I’m just wondering how it will affect the relationships I have, I guess.”
“You mean if being so close to everyone here will turn out to be a problem?”
“Something like that.”
“Hmm,” she said while giving thought to his worry. “Well, I don’t think so. I mean, you’ve lived here before. Yeah, it was almost ten years ago, but that doesn’t matter. You still have friends here. And I know your mom can be overbearing sometimes, but your parents would both love to have you back.” She paused and sent a grin his way. “Plus you have us.”
He didn’t miss how his stomach jumped like a little girl’s at her words. “Us?”
“Yeah, Emma and me.”
The smile she sent him was so bright and happy, as if she had no idea she’d just confirmed his fears and ripped his heart out all in one fell swoop.
There was no them. Not yet, and maybe not ever.
Chapter Sixteen
Olivia readied herself for the sixth wedding Ian would accompany her to, her nerves tingling with anticipation. Sweeping her hair into a quick up-do, she wondered how this event would be different from the nearly half dozen others they had attended. This would be the first date they’d been on since their relationship had crossed that physical line. She wondered how that might change things between them.
Since his trip to Minneapolis the previous week, they’d talked on the phone several times. In the past week, he’d somehow become an even more integral part of her life. It was unusual for them to go a day without talking in some manner, whether through a phone call or text, and she found that she liked that. She counted on that contact with him.
And it scared her.
She wasn’t used to counting on a man. She’d lived the majority of her adult years as an independent woman. Sure, she’d dated and had boyfriends, of both the long—and short-term variety, but she’d never felt the comfort and need she felt with Ian.
And the fact remained that Ian wasn’t hers. Hell, he didn’t even live where she did. Even putting that aside, did they really have something worth pursuing beyond the pleasure they found in the bedroom? She hadn’t been merely placating him when she’d told him she didn’t know if she was ready for something serious. She wanted to be; she wanted the whole Happily Ever After that only a few short months ago seemed so out of her reach. But the thought of trying something like that with Ian worried the hell out of her.
What if it failed?
She couldn’t stand the thought of not having Ian in her life anymore. And, let’s face it, her track record in the relationship arena wasn’t exactly glowing.
Her doorbell rang, and she gave one more sweep over herself in the mirror. Resting on her bare shoulders, the thin straps of her dress gave way to a draped neckline, giving the illusion of fuller breasts, something that had definitely sold her on the garment in the first place. The deep garnet color gave her skin a healthy glow. With a final swipe of gloss across her lips, she left the bathroom and headed to the front door.
No matter how many times she’d seen him decked out in his finest, she didn’t think the appeal would ever diminish. Ian stood in the open doorway, his black pin-striped suit impeccably tailored to his body, looking for the world like walking, talking sex. His blond hair was disheveled, his sharp jaw smooth from a recent shave. His lips were quirked in the smallest of smiles as his eyes traveled over her curves.
“Livvy,” he said quietly, reaching to grab her hand. Pulling her to him, he brought her up against his body. “You’re stunning.”
She melted into him as his lips met hers, his tongue softly delving into her mouth. The kiss was unhurried, tender though not at all hesitant. It left her satisfied yet wanting more all at once. After he released her, she finally noticed that he carried a small duffel bag in his hand. The thought of what that meant shot heat straight to her center. Her nipples hardened into tight peaks, and from the look on Ian’s face, he noticed as well.
Almost as if he’d read her mind, he brought his heated gaze to hers, his tongue tracing leisurely along his bottom lip. “Tonight, Livvy...” His eyes swept over her body once again. “Tonight I’m going to make you come so many times, you’ll lose count.” He leaned in, his lips brushing up the slope of her neck. His tongue flicked out, swirling around the sensitive skin just behind her ear. His voice was a low rumble, quiet in its command, but she heard it all the same. “I want you screaming my name by the end of it.”
* * *
This had to be the longest wedding Ian had ever attended. True, they’d only been there for two hours, but the thought of what he planned to do to Olivia once the evening came to a close was almost too much for him. He’d been sporting a hard-on for the majority of the night, simply watching her move around the room.
He wanted her in his arms, under him in her bed. He wanted
her, period. Though he knew he needed to be patient. Olivia was having a good time catching up with her friends, some of whom she hadn’t seen since college. She was in her element, floating from person to person as she took up easy conversations with most everyone. He watched from his perch at their table, taking a pull from his beer.
“Hi, um, Ian, right?” The deep voice came from Ian’s right, and he turned, noticing one of his table mates from earlier at dinner.
“Yeah, hi.” Ian extended his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name earlier.”
“Chad,” he supplied, shaking Ian’s hand. He leaned back in his chair, looking in the direction Ian had been before he’d been interrupted. “You’re here with Olivia, right?”
Ian nodded, smiling. “Yeah.”
“You are a lucky bastard,” Chad said with a chuckle. “We graduated from U of M the same year. How long have you guys been together?”
“Oh...” Ian cleared his throat, looking over to where Olivia was standing. “We’re not...” He shook his head, turning his attention back to Chad. “Olivia and I aren’t in a relationship.”
“Ah. Sorry, I just assumed...”
Chad continued rambling, but Ian was no longer listening. His focus was now across the room on Olivia. She was surrounded by a group of her friends, leaning in to give hugs to a few of them. As he looked at the people who were around her, several of them men, he couldn’t help but feel the sharp sting of jealousy. He wanted to be there with her, by her side, being introduced to her friends as someone more than just some guy she brought with to the wedding because she had bad luck in dating.
As he stared at the vast space separating them now, he couldn’t help but see the parallels to the space separating what each of them wanted from this...whatever this was between them. Olivia was content with being sometimes fuck buddies, and he had no interest in that—never had.
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