Angels in My Hair

by Lorna Byrne

  I felt as though he was talking to me as if I was a child, as if I wouldn't understand.

  'Michael, I am a grown woman now with children of my own,' I replied. 'I don't understand what's going on, but I accept the connection between this little soul and myself.Will you walk over the bridge with me?'

  'No, Lorna. You must walk over the bridge on your own. Walk slowly, there will be another angel on the bridge to help you understand, to help you to get to know this little baby soul as it grows in its mother's womb. Do whatever that angel asks. Every time you cross the bridge this angel will be there to meet you and accompany you for a part of the journey. Your connection to this baby's soul will grow stronger as the months pass.'

  We turned around to walk back up the lane and as we approached the main road Angel Michael disappeared. I looked in the direction of the canal bridge and, sure enough, I could see an angel waiting for me. He was tall, slender and elegant and white as snow with a radiant light. I walked slowly, as Michael had told me to, and as I put my foot on the bridge I felt the connection with a little soul.

  The angel was standing in the centre of the bridge, and when I reached him we stood together. He looked at me with great gentleness and love saying, 'My name is Angel Arabia.' Angel Arabia touched my hand and I turned to look down along the canal. Everything was like glass; nothing seemed to move, as if it were a picture. I was allowed to feel the mother and the love she had for her unborn child, and I could feel her tears, lots of tears. As I stood there on the bridge, someone walked past and said hello. I replied, out of habit.

  I walked the rest of the way across the bridge then down the hill towards the town. All of the time the angel walked beside me. People and cars passed in both directions. I whispered, 'See you soon, Angel Arabia.'

  Then I went to do the shopping. My daily life as a mother and wife continued, alongside my work with the angels.

  As time passed the baby grew in the mother's womb and I learnt more about the little baby soul, the love the baby was sending to its mother and the mother's deep love for her unborn child. Even though I could never see the mother clearly – she always seemed like a ghost – I knew she was there and that she was struggling.

  Every day I crossed that bridge at least once, sometimes much more frequently, and often I asked Angel Arabia, striding beside me as if in slow motion, 'Why is the connection not as strong when I walk down the hill as it is on the bridge?'

  Angel Arabia never answered me. One day I said to him, 'Sometimes I feel as if the mother and child are in those two fields there, over that wall. At times I have wanted to climb over the wall and search for them but I know they are not there, nor are they along the canal. Can't you tell me more?'

  But the Angel Arabia only replied, 'When it is needed.'

  I have learnt over the years with the angels that no matter how many times you ask a question, they never deviate from the first answer they gave you, and sometimes they will not reply at all. I must have walked with Angel Arabia hundreds of times across the bridge, and I frequently asked for information but never got any other answer than, 'If and when it is needed.'

  One morning, after the children had gone to school, I told Joe I would head into town to get a few bits and pieces and his prescription from the chemist and that I would be as quick as I could. Walking from the cottage I noticed things were different. Angel Arabia was not waiting in his usual place but was standing at the end of my lane, on the main road, some distance from the bridge. As I looked towards the bridge I could see there was a mist on the right-hand side of it, although not on the bridge itself.

  I reached Arabia and we walked together. I could feel the silence, the unspoken words. I wanted to speak, but knew I was not to.When I reached the bridge I saw that it was not just mist that was covering the canal water and the banks of the canal, it was angel! The whole area along the canal bank leading up to the bridge was laid with a milky white mist full of angels; snow-white, beautiful angels, bright as a light.

  I stood there, overwhelmed by the beauty and the strangeness of what I was seeing; Angel Arabia's hand touched mine. I could hear the angels chanting as if in one united voice. They were moving up and down along the canal bank within this mist all the time in slow motion. Some of them turned in my direction and acknowledged my presence; Angel Arabia told me they were getting ready. Tears came to my eyes, and at the same moment Angel Arabia withdrew his hand.

  We started to walk down the hill, away from the bridge. I could hardly feel my feet touching the ground. I looked down and I could see the mist filled with angels around my ankles. When we reached the end of the hill I looked at Angel Arabia beside me. 'It will not be long now,' he said.

  I continued into town and did the shopping as quickly as I could. I couldn't see any angels around me but I knew they were there. I said to them, 'I have questions to ask.' But I got no answer. I was thinking to myself that maybe I should walk home the other way, not by the canal, but when I reached the centre of the town I was pulled to the left, so I knew I was to walk back the way I came.

  Angel Arabia was waiting for me at the bottom of the hill leading to the canal bridge, looking more radiant than before. We walked together back up the hill towards the bridge. I looked down along the canal and knew that if I fell into this mist I would not hit the ground, but would be cushioned and protected.

  I knew in some way this cushioning was also a preparation for the arrival of the baby, but I couldn't fully understand it at the time.

  A few days later Joe remarked that I had become very quiet, that it was as if I was somewhere else. I looked at Joe and said, 'I don't think you would understand what is happening, even if I told you.'

  'Try me,' Joe replied.

  So I did. I told Joe a little about the angel at the bridge, about the spirit of a baby and its mother. He listened attentively and told me that he found it all hard to understand, but that he wouldn't ask any more questions. I thanked him and he gave me a big hug.

  I don't know where the baby was born, if the mother was on her own or had someone with her, if it was full-term, or born prematurely, but one day in March I just knew the baby had been born.

  From that day on I lost all sense of time. I constantly felt the touch of Angel Arabia's hand, no matter where I was. It was so intense that I would not see someone walking towards me and I would bump into them. Angel Arabia still stood in the centre of the canal bridge, hovering like a powerful force. Now when I approached the bridge he would descend to meet me, yet he would still be hovering above it at the same time. I realised now that the misty path laid down by the angels was a path for the little baby spirit. Arabia was waiting for it.

  Every time I approached the bridge, I could see the mist, and in some way I was made conscious, even though I couldn't see it, that this little baby's spirit was being ushered down by the angels.

  One day I was going down to collect Ruth from school, and as I walked up the lane from the cottage I saw Angel Arabia standing at the end. He didn't say a word but indicated for me to cross the road.What I saw was breathtaking! I could see this beautiful baby's spirit crawling along the soft and smooth path that the angels had made. The baby looked as if it were crawling, its legs and arms moving, but in fact the angels were carrying her. I could see angels' wings supporting her. Angels were all around, crawling along the path beside her, helping her, playing with her. The baby's spirit was very happy; I could hear her laughter. My heart was full of joy, and yet there were tears in my eyes. I had suddenly realised that the baby's spirit was coming to my house!

  I don't know why, to this day, that I was chosen by God and the angels to see this little miracle; why this little baby spirit was coming to my house. But it was. She was getting closer all the time. I don't know how long it took the angels to travel that distance with the baby's spirit, but one day I was told they were very near. That night I went to bed and woke as normal at six. I went into the kitchen and a brilliant light was shining in through the window. I g
ot a glass of water and when I turned around Angel Arabia was standing at the kitchen door. I know I shouldn't have been startled, but I was – the angels always take my breath away.

  'Go back to bed,' Angel Arabia said, 'and move closer to Joe to make room for another.'

  I did as I was told. I could feel the little baby spirit coming into the house. Lying there in the bed I could hear the sound of movement in the hall. I prayed and prayed and asked that everything would be okay for the little baby's spirit. The bedroom filled with mist and angels poured into the room. They had arrived. I could not see the baby's spirit but I knew she was down on the floor, surrounded by angels.

  'Angels, can I sit up in the bed?' I asked.

  'No,' I was told, 'You're not allowed to look yet. Turn on your side and move closer to Joe so there will be more room.'

  Doing this, I disturbed Joe and he asked sleepily if I was cold. I reassured him. I was nervous that Joe might wake at this crucial moment, although a bit of me knew the angels would not let him wake fully.

  I felt the sheets being moved by the angels. I felt movement on the bed and then I felt the baby spirit lying right next to me in the bed. I could still see nothing of the baby spirit, as I was facing Joe and the baby's spirit was now behind me. I was afraid to move in case I would lie on her or hurt her in some way. I felt a baby's hand touch my back.

  'Can I turn around now?' I asked.

  'Yes,' the angels replied. 'Turn around slowly and carefully, the little baby spirit is lying beside you.'

  I turned around, terrified of squashing her. 'Oh my God,' I exclaimed, forgetting Joe was beside me. I quickly put my hand to my mouth. Joe did not stir. There, lying beside me was a gorgeous, naked, newborn baby girl. She was healthy and strong and moving her arms and legs. She was beautiful and perfect, flesh and blood, completely human in appearance, but more beautiful than any baby I have ever seen. She was radiant, the spirit within her lighting up the human body that I was being shown. Two angels stood by the side of the bed, looking down on her. They were magnificent white angels, dressed in flowing white robes which draped over them perfectly. They had wonderful faces, like porcelain, and every feature was clear and they shone like the sun. Their eyes were as white as snow and shone with a glittering light. They had wings of feathers that seemed to spiral and touch a light above them.

  'Can I touch her?' I asked.

  'No, you can't touch her, but you can put your hands above her,' they told me.

  I reached out and held my hands above her. As I did so she turned her head and looked at me. Her eyes were full of life and shone brighter than any of the stars in the heavens. She smiled, and at that moment I heard her say, 'Tell Mummy I love her, and Dad, too.'

  Then the two angels bent over her and picked her up, their wings entwined around her. As they rose the heavens opened with gentleness and in a flash of light they were gone and the room was back to normal.

  I knew it was over. I praised and thanked God.

  Later that morning I went to Jim the butcher's and everyone was talking. I was asked had I heard the news? A newborn baby's body had been found along the canal bank near the bridge. No one knew who the mother was, or what had happened, but a man walking his dog had found it early that morning. I realised then that the baby had been found at the moment the angels had disappeared from my bedroom. I was so happy. I cannot explain the happiness I felt, but it was a great joy and relief to know that the baby's spirit had gone to Heaven and my task was complete.

  The local community was very upset, they were not aware of anything like this having ever happened before. They were shocked to think that there might have been a young woman, perhaps a student from the college, who had felt it necessary to keep her pregnancy secret.

  The police investigated, but as far as I know they never found the mother. Perhaps she will read this some day and realise that whatever the circumstances of her baby's death were, her little baby loved her and was never left alone – there were always angels with her, as there are with all babies, both those who live and those who die, whatever the situation.

  The community was so moved by this baby's death, that they took a collection and bought a grave so the child could be buried properly. Before she was buried, the little baby was given a name. Bridget is buried now in the graveyard in Maynooth.

  Joe was getting sicker and sicker and he started having a series of minor strokes. They were terrifying for him and sometimes he would go blind for a few minutes, or his body would go completely limp. Walking had become very difficult now, and he frequently fell over. Despite my best efforts to watch him and catch him, he was black and blue all over. The doctors said they could do nothing.

  The angels tried to cheer me up. One day I was walking around the housing estates nearby, enjoying the warm sun and watching everything around me, when I came to a green area. Children were out playing football and people were stretched out on the grass enjoying the good weather. I noticed a child in a wheelchair. She was curled up asleep. Her body seemed quite twisted and she was pitifully thin. It was hard to tell her age, but she was probably about seven. Her mother sat on the wall a short distance off, talking to neighbours.

  As I got closer I could see the child was getting brighter, as was her wheelchair. Everything became still and silent; I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her soul moved out of her body, leaving her sleeping form there in the wheelchair. It radiated light and looked just as that little girl will look when she goes to Heaven: perfect in every way. She was so beautiful.

  Two angels appeared in front of her and took her hands – they were both girls who looked much the same age as her. Then three more angels appeared, again all little girls, dressed completely in a white so radiant that a blue tint seemed to come from it. I stood there, unable to move, overcome by what I was seeing. This little girl's soul had stepped out of her body to play with the angels. They played chase, but they never moved too far from the wheelchair. They held hands as if they were playing ring-a-ring o' roses. I could hear their laughter; the little girl's soul was so free and happy. I tried to move forward, to put one foot in front of the other, but the angels would not let me move, no matter how hard I tried.

  The little angels sat in a circle on the green grass near the wheelchair with the little girl's soul. I watched with fascination; I did not know what was going to happen next. All of a sudden, an angel's hands touched a blade of grass and a daisy appeared. Then the other angels started moving their hands around, touching blades of grass with the tips of their fingers, and each blade they touched turned into a beautiful daisy. There in the middle of the grass was a circle of white, awash with daisies, and in the middle of it were laughing angels and a radiant little soul. The mother continued chatting nearby, oblivious to what was going on.

  'Daisy chains,' the little soul cried out, as they started to make daisy chains. They decorated her with them– around her neck, on her head like a princess's crown, around her arms and even around her ankles. They showed her how to make daisy chains with little slits in the stem and she sat there making them on her own. There was such love and gentleness that I could feel tears running down my cheek from the joy and happiness of what I was seeing. I watched the little girl, admiring her daisy chains. Her face shone like the sun.

  Then the angels put their arms around her, picked her up and carried her to her wheelchair. She did not seem to mind. The soul lay down gently and snuggled back into her human body, which had remained sleeping all this time.

  As suddenly as they came, the angels left and the light was gone. The little girl moved in her wheelchair. I nearly fell over myself as I was released and able to move again. Everything around me came back to life. I could hear the birds, feel the breeze and see the people. As I walked away from the little girl in the wheelchair, I looked over at her mother and thought to myself, how blessed she was to have such a pure soul in their family.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Joe

  Towards the e
nd of his life, Joe found it hard to remember where or who he was. He didn't always recognise me or his children. Fortunately, the children never seemed to notice this. I used to sit and talk to him a lot, reminiscing, trying to help him to remember. I desperately wanted him to be with us fully for as long as was possible.

  Almost every morning I would go down to the town – there was always something that was needed – and when I got home, the first thing I always did was peep in at Joe in bed to make sure he was all right. Then I would make tea for us both and sit on the little stool by the bed, chatting.

  One particular morning, we were sitting like this, chatting, and Joe said, 'You know, Lorna, I have been lying here in this bed since you left this morning, trying to remember things of the past; about our lives and the children. It scares me sometimes that I don't even recognise where I am.'

  As always, there were a lot of angels around us. Suddenly all the angels that were sitting on the bed disappeared, except Joe's guardian angel, who remained. It was as if his guardian angel was supporting him, as if there was no bed there at all, even though Joe was lying down in it. Joe was a little confused. 'Hold my hand,' I said, 'and I will help you to remember.'

  Joe's guardian angel supported him from behind and lifted a hand above him, pouring the light of memory into him. This light, a white substance like whipped cream with silver sparks, appeared to come from his guardian angel's hand and entered the top of Joe's head. It continued to flow, never stopping until we had finished talking.

  We reminisced and I was thrilled at the things Joe remembered as we sat there. He talked about our son Owen's Holy Communion day, and how he used his communion money to buy a new pair of football boots. Up until then, Owen, who loved football, had always had hand-me-down boots; this was the first time he had had a new pair. Joe laughed about how Owen had tried on one pair after another, looking at the price and eventually making his decision. He was so proud of them.