Paths

by David DeSimone

  Ana wasn’t afraid of Gales, liked him in fact. As far as bosses went, he was okay. Never known to be a micromanager, his leadership style was relatively flexible, and never grilled staff on taking sick time off. Just don’t be late. Punctuality was really his only pet peeve.

  As she walked through a maze of cubicles, people popped their heads out or raised a hand above their half-height modular wall to say hi or wish her a good morning. She arrived at her cubicle overlooking 43rd Street, threw her coat on the coat rack, sat down heavily on her swivel chair and dropped her purse by her feet. She logged onto her computer and waited for Outlook to show new messages. She took this moment to breath. Happy Monday.

  A voice gave Ana a start.

  Shawna was resting her chin on the top of the divider. She wore her locks of hair in tight corkscrews so when she moved they bounced as though made of tiny springs. “So sorry I scared you,” she said.

  “Hi Shawna. That’s okay.”

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yes,” she said, her hand still on her thumping chest.

  “I just wanted to say hi to my girl.”

  “Hi.”

  “This is your last week?”

  “Yeah, Friday’s the last day.”

  “Oooooh,” Shawna said with a frown. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “Well, you’ve got my number.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not the same.”

  Shawna moved around the divider, stepped into Ana’s cubicle. “When are you expecting?”

  “Two weeks.”

  Shawna’s eyes widened. “Girl, you’re close.” She laughed, then added, “You about to burst!” She wore a black and yellow flowered dress, and about a dozen beaded bracelets adorned each wrist. She was into beadery making. Ana helped her on a few occasions and discovered that, unlike Shawna, she lacked the patience to make it a hobby. Shawna had a habit of throwing up her hands whenever she laughed, and the beads would rattle, like a baby’s toy, as they had done just now.

  “I hope I don’t burst here!”

  When Shawna laughed this time, her hands went up and landed on Ana’s shoulder, the bracelets rattling by her ear.

  Shawna said, “You going to invite me over so I could play with the babies?”

  Ana gave a nod.

  Before divorcing her husband on the grounds of infidelity, Shawna had three children with him. She and the kids now lived with her sixty-seven year old mother in Ozone Park.

  “And you’re always welcome to drop by my apartment.”

  “I plan on it,” Ana said. “I’m going to pick your brain.”

  “You scared?”

  Ana nodded again.

  Shawna brushed it off. “You’ll do fine,” she said. “You’re going to make a great mother.”

  “But I might want to come to you for advice.”

  “Whatever I can give.” She continued, “But you’re probably not going to need it, not a lot anyway.”

  Ana smiled. “Thanks Shawna.”

  “Anytime.”

  “Any news to report?”

  Shawna shook her head.

  “No, other than that Cheryl was lunching with Rufus again yesterday.”

  Ana smirked. “They’re not sleeping together.”

  She shushed Ana. “Not so loud. And, yes, I do think they’re sleeping together. She may be Ms. Prim and Proper on the outside, but I’m telling you that girl probably grinds him raw.”

  Blushing, Ana covered her mouth trying not to laugh out loud, tears welling up in her eyes. Shawna held a straight face for only about a second before she burst out laughing.

  Rufus Gales appeared from behind. He was a black man with a baritone voice that could shake the floor. At 6’2 and weighing in at 220 pounds, he was an imposing figure. He looked at Ana first, then Shawna. The women exchanged nervous glances.

  “Anything you ladies want to share?” he said, a tepid smile forming across his lips, one that cautioned them to choose their words carefully.

  “No,” Shawna began. “Girl talk. Something you’ll never understand.”

  “We were just talking about getting together during my leave,” Ana said. “Shawna is going to offer me advice on mommying.”

  “I see,” Gales said. “Well, then, while we’re on the subject, I’d like to give you something.” He produced a small gift box wrapped in silver paper and pink ribbon.

  Taking it from him, Ana said, “Oh, Rufus! Thank you!”

  “Look at that!” cried Shawna. “That’s just lovely!” She patted Gales on the back. “You’re so sweet!”

  “Open it,” he said.

  Ana untied the pink ribbon, tore off the silver wrapping paper and removed the lid. Her face lit up. “Oh, my…” she gasped, lifting a gold necklace from its cotton bedding. She turned it in her fingers marveling at the pinpoints of light glinting off its shiny surface.

  “It’s beautiful!” Shawna said, astonished.

  Elizabeth Aiello ran over from across the aisle. “Let me see,” she said, excitedly. Elizabeth or “Liz” was the same age and had similar thick, dark hair as Ana; save for her fair complexion, they could have passed for cousins. Elizabeth, Shawna and Ana made up the Lang-girls, after the namesake of their place of employment.

  Shawna sat in the cubicle in front of Ana and Liz across the aisle. Being stationed so close to each other undoubtedly helped establish their relationship, but it was chemistry that made it last. The Lang-girls could often be seen sitting together in the lunchroom or during Happy Hour Thursdays at Midtown Social, a local trendy bar, venting about work, family and reality TV with Shawna, of course, always taking center stage. They laughed, fought, cried together.

  However, things had changed eight months ago when Ana missed her period, began feeling nauseous in the morning and noticed her size 4 jeans fitting too snuggly. It wasn’t until the doctor confirmed her pregnancy that she decided the time to slow down had come and soon the Lang-girls abandoned Happy Hour Thursdays altogether. It just wasn’t the same without their lovely Ana.

  Seeing the necklace in all its glistening brilliance, Elizabeth exclaimed, “Woooow! That so nice, Ana!” Reaching over to touch it, Ana slapped her hand away. “Wait, Lizzy! Let me look at it.”

  A round pendant about the size of a silver dollar hung from a 14 carat gold chain, showing in relief three symbols. On top was a heart, below that a horseshoe, and on the bottom was an elephant with its trunk turned up. A diamond chip adorned the middle of the horseshoe.

  “Not bad for a guy who doesn’t understand. Right Shawna?” Gales said, shooting her a look.

  “Okay, okay,” she said, surrendering. “I stand corrected.”

  “I thought you could use something special for the twins,” he said. “Each has its own meaning. The horseshoe and elephant represent good luck and good fortune, and the heart represents your love. Because that’s where good fortune begins.”

  “Whoa!” cried Shawna. “I never took you for a poet, Rufus!”

  He shrugged bashfully.

  Teary-eyed, Ana rose from her chair, went over and gave Rufus a great big hug, causing Shawna and Elizabeth to get teary. From cubicles all around, heads popped up over and around their dividers to witness the drama.

  Pulling away from him, Ana said, “This couldn’t have been cheap. How much was it?”

  “That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.”

  “Yeah, girl!” said Shawna. “It’s a gift! You should never ask for the price!” To Rufus: “So how much was it?”

  They laughed.

  Cheryl Anderson, the woman Shawna accused of having an affair with Rufus, came by and eyed the necklace, said, “Oooh, that’s lovely.”

  “Did you help pick it out?” Shawna wanted to say. She actually felt the words creeping into her mouth, and for one horrific moment almost said it.

  Superficial, snooty, ambitious and about a hundred other names Shawna could associate with Cheryl, she understood why Rufus would want to sleep with
her. Cheryl was tall, busty and her brown skin was smooth, flawless, and despite being older than any of the Lang-girls - fortyish if she had to guess - Cheryl was sexy, always in tight fitting clothes that had poor Rufus bulgy-eyed and drooling.

  Cheryl had been divorced for several years and had no plans to remarry. She has an eighteen-year-old son away at college. For now, she was living single and having the time of her life. Or so it seemed, Shawna thought. Maybe things weren’t as perfect as she wanted everyone to believe. Remove all the makeup and you might find a face with a roadmap of wrinkles. Living the single life could translate to living lonely. Shawna knew firsthand how difficult it was to find a man in and around the city. All they seemed to want was sex. Online dating services attracted more wolves than she could count, married men who played single for the thrill of it and then disappeared when she wanted to take it further. Knowing she had young children caused some men to shy away.

  Look at ol’ Roofy, Shawna thought bitterly, eyeing Rufus standing too close to Cheryl. Humph!

  “Have you thought of a name?” Cheryl asked.

  “Names,” Shawna corrected. “She’s having twins.”

  “Oh, that’s right!” she said not looking at Shawna. “Have you thought of names?”

  “We’re still not sure. I’m letting Hector pick the boy’s name, and I’m picking the girl’s. I’m favoring Juliet.”

  Liz: “Julieta!”

  “That’s how my mom says it.”

  “Like Romeo and Juliet. I like it.”

  Rufus: “What about the boy?”

  A pause.

  “Uh-oh,” said Shawna. “What?”

  Ana rolled her eyes. “Fred.”

  “Fred!” groaned Shawna. “Why Fred!”

  “Hector’s choice, not mine,” said Ana.

  Liz: “Well there’s Fred Astaire.”

  Rufus: “And Fred Williamson.”

  Cheryl: “Yeah, but what about a Hispanic guy?”

  Ana shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Shawna glared at Cheryl.

  Liz: “There’s Fred Rodriguez.”

  Ana: “I think you’re thinking of Paul Rodriguez, Liz.”

  Liz: “Oh. Well, if I had time I could probably think of some-”

  “Thanks, Liz,” Ana said. “But you don’t have to.”

  Noticing Shawna glaring at her, Cheryl said, “Actually, I don’t think Fred is such a bad name.” She looked at Shawna coldly. “Right Shawna?”

  “I never said Fred was a bad name!” Shawna hissed.

  “You implied it.”

  “You did!”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  Shawna turned to Ana, dismayed. She turned to Liz, then Rufus, who was pinching the bridge of his nose like someone feeling the onset of a crushing headache, and perhaps he was.

  “What’s she talking about?” Shawna asked with a mix of anger and bewilderment.

  “I’m just saying that you started us down a negative path is all,” said Cheryl.

  “How dare you accuse me!”

  Stepping between them, Rufus said, “Okay ladies! That’s enough. This is about Ana, not the two of you.”

  The staredown between them continued.

  “That’s enough!”

  They broke off.

  To Rufus, Cheryl said, “I’ve got summaries to check.”

  “Yeah, you go check your summaries,” Shawna grumbled.

  “Hey!” Rufus boomed.

  To Ana, Cheryl said, “Congratulations Ana. It’s a beautiful gift.” She left.

  There was a moment of uneasy silence, then Shawna said, “I’m gonna beat that girl’s ass someday.”

  “You okay, Shawna?” Ana asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine now that that snooty-ass bitch is gone.” To herself she murmured, “Started us down a negative path. Fuck her! I’ll show her a negative path!”

  “Shawna.”

  She looked at Rufus.

  “Calm down. I think you should get back to work.” He started to walk away.

  “Rufus,” Ana called.

  He stopped, turned.

  “Thanks again. I love it.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  When he left, an air of calmness fell upon the women. It was just the Lang-girls now.

  Turning to Shawna, Liz said, “I wouldn’t let her get to you.”

  Shawna moved out of Ana’s space while Ana sat back down. “Have you thought about your baptism party?” Shawna asked, still shaken.

  Ana sighed. “We still have to make out invitations.”

  “Has your mother still been bothering you about flying out Puerto Rico?”

  “No, thank God. There’s only going to be one and it will be here, in the Bronx.”

  “Don’t forget to send us an invitation.”

  Ana tisked her, said, “Pleeeeease.”

  “Have you made arrangements at the church?” Liz asked.

  “Yes. Hector and I were- “ Ana’s expression suddenly went blank, her skin went pale.

  “Ana?” Liz said with a look of worry. “What’s wrong?”

  “Ana, are you okay?” Shawna chimed.

  Ana’s pulse raced, stars dashed across her field of vision. Her head grew cool with sweat. It was starting again.

  Elizabeth tried to comfort Ana, placing a hand on her back and was dismayed to feel Ana trembling uncontrollably.

  “Ana,” she said, rubbing her back. “Tell us what’s wrong!”

  “Do you want me to call someone?” Shawna asked.

  Ana shook her head. She grabbed Shawna by the wrist. “No,” she gasped. “Just stay with me.”

  “Is she alright?” Dottie Parks asked from two rows ahead.

  “She’s fine,” Shawna said to her.

  More heads looked up. People began to collect around Ana’s cubicle, making the tight space around her desk feel tighter.

  The sky was falling again.

  Ana wondered what was going on. Will I have to deal with this forever? That thought brought a new wave of panic to Ana.

  “Please, just go,” she said waving them away.

  Jason Maclin, a customer services rep, tried entering the cubicle wanting to help. Shawna touched him gently on the chest stopping him. “She’s fine,” she said.

  Rufus cut through the crowd, approached Ana. Shawna stepped in front of him.

  “Ana, are you okay?” he asked.

  She nodded.

  “Rufus, she’s fine,” Shawna said.

  “Should I call an ambulance?”

  “No,” Ana said.

  “No, no,” Shawna said reassuringly. “Trust me, I’ve been through this. It’ll pass.” While Shawna shooed the crowd away, Liz and Rufus remained at Ana’s side. From the other side of the floor, Cheryl stared across the tops of the maze of cubicles.

  “I don’t believe it’s happening again!” Ana said, both of her hands wrapped protectively over her belly.

  “What’s happening, Sweetie?” asked Liz.

  Rufus took her by the hand, “Are you in pain?”

  Ana shook her head.

  “Do you need a doctor?”

  She shook her head no. “I’ll be alright.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I just need a moment.”

  “Can you get up?”

  “I’d rather sit,” she said struggling to hold in a scream.

  Shawna returned, stood between Rufus and Liz. She spotted Cheryl.

  Cheryl averted her eyes and busied herself with papers she held on a clipboard.

  The veins in Ana’s neck stood out, taut and pulsing. Her chest felt like it was imploding. She couldn’t allow Rufus to see all that she felt, otherwise he would undoubtedly phone an ambulance regardless of her protests.

  Stubbornly, Ana forced herself to straighten up and slow her breathing, employing techniques she learned in Lamaze class. By now, the stars turned to incandescent spots of various shades of pinks and reds. Hyperventilation. Like the bioluminescence of fireflies, they swept
randomly in and out of her visual field. She could have sworn that some resembled the heads of babies.

  6

  “It’s like all the air suddenly left my body,” Ana said as color returned to her face. Rufus leaned on the edge of her desk. Shawna stood next to him while Liz stayed by Ana’s side. They listened as Ana continued.

  “And then I start to hyperventilate, seeing spots. My head feels like it in a vice.

  “And another feeling comes with it.”

  “Like what?” Rufus asked.

  “Like someone’s trying to force me to see something. That’s the best way I can describe it.”

  “Like a...vision?” Liz asked hesitantly.

  “I don’t want to say because I don’t want you to think I’m crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy,” said Shawna. “We all know that. Girl, you’re probably the sanest one here.”

  Rufus chuckled.

  “What makes you think someone was trying to, um...” Rufus paused not wanting to go there either. He was 53 years old and hadn’t stepped foot in a church since his mother’s funeral 11 years ago. As far as Rufus was concerned, visions, ESP and other woo-woo phenomenon are nothing more than pop culture entertainment - or maybe Ana was having a breakdown.

  . “What makes you think that you were being shown something?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” said Ana. “I just felt it. Like it was a presence that popped into my head. The feelings of, like dread, suddenly coming upon me, feelings that weren’t my own.”

  “Are you sure this might not have something to do with, you know, being pregnant?”

  “No,” Ana said with certainty. “It’s not prepartum depression or mood swings.”

  “Maybe it was a panic attack,” he said.

  “What, are you her doctor now?” Shawna shot back.

  He gave her a hard, disapproving look and Shawna backed off. “Well, come on Rufus. Does she look crazy to you?” she asked earnestly.

  To Rufus, Ana said, “It wasn’t any kind of pregnancy-related mood swings. They don’t come and go that quickly. I’d still be going through it, but I’m feeling fine. A little shaken but fine.”