To Probe A Beating Heart

by Wren, John B

  Averell tracked his appointments, miles traveled and expenses in a composition notebook. He also made notes about the people he met at each store and distribution center and even had comments on the baseball games he attended. His notes sometimes were flavored with comments such as “nice guy” or “jerk” or “don’t like” or “ball game” or “good talker”. These proved helpful when he hadn’t seen someone for a while and he could refresh his memory. It was also his record of expenses he would submit for reimbursement.

  It was summer, 1990, he had been on the job almost a year and he thought about the woods he had not visited in five years, the fun he had with the animals, the thrill of doing his probing and secreting all his tools and hiding the remains. The army had monopolized his time, keeping him busy for the last three years. There was always something to do, and others to do it with, but now he had to find other distractions. Baseball and movies could only fill so many slots and there was still time for other things. Now there were no officers to salute, no privates to push around, no sergeants to avoid, no buddies with whom he could catch a movie or shoot some pool. He was now on his own to find entertainment, to find a distraction. As he went about his business he would see squirrels and rabbits in parks and residential areas. The thoughts of playing with the little animals, poking and probing, cutting and dissecting were always there. There, but not as compelling as when he was in high school. Now he was older, he had moved on, he was now an adult and his activities should be more in tune with his abilities. He could do more things, he could use bigger and more complex tools. He could probe bigger and more complex subjects. He opened his bag of probes and remembered. “I always wanted to use these on Sarah and Ellie, now what is there to stop me—? Nothing—.”

  “Could we do that, go to their new place and—?”

  “Yes, I remember standing in Ellie’s bedroom with a probe in my hand. I wanted to push it through her neck, but what would happen to me. I would be punished. I dreamt about doing it to both of them, Ellie and Sarah.”

  “We could do it now, and who would know? nobody.”

  “No, we would have to have a plan and be very careful. If we did it, we would be the prime suspects. No, we have to think, to plan— and when everything is right Then we do them.”

  “Then we do them!”

  “Yes, but first I need new probes, these are too small. They seemed bigger when I was younger. Now, for what we can do today, we should have bigger and stronger probes.”

  “I agree, we should go to the store and look at what they have,” said Stelian.

  “You mean, look in the medical aisle for ‘Probes’, I don’t think so?”

  “No, no, no, let’s see what they have that we can use. You never know,” said Stelian.

  Averell went to a Wal Mart and walked around. He looked in the

  tools, in the pharmacy and finally in the house wares where he spotted

  barbeque skewers.

  “Perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

  “See, I told you,” said Stelian.

  “Yes you did, and you were right. It’s a set of eight.”

  “You shouldn’t argue with me,” said Stelian.

  “I see that, it wouldn’t look good either, would it?”

  “Nope,” said Stelian.

  As he walked through the store in conversation with Stelian, hardly anyone noticed that he was alone. He noticed and quieted down, almost whispering his thoughts.

  The rabbits and squirrels of the woods in Syracuse were no longer appealing. Averell now had an objective, actually two objectives and he viewed other people as potential ‘trial subjects’ with which he could practice for the final probing. The thoughts that were most present during every session in the woods when he was probing rabbits and squirrels were Sarah and Ellie. On several occasions he was tempted to use his probes on each of them in the middle of the night while they slept. Temptations to which he never acceded, as great as the want to push his probes into and through their necks, to pierce that major artery, he maintained control of his urges and walked away each time. Now he was thinking of them again, but now he would take his time, he would plan, he would practice, he would become perfect and when he did it, it would be done so that no one would suspect that it was him.

  As he visited the client base he had established, there were people that he met and with whom he interacted that he considered as very desirable targets for his ‘practice’ sessions. Desirable but not practical. Any one such individual removed from the world would attract attention to all who knew them. This would lead to Averell himself as a part of a larger group. If he ‘did’ more than one person that he knew, the Venn diagram would narrow the group to a point where he would become part of a smaller group of “prime” suspects in their removal. This was completely unacceptable. His solution was to consider only those with no connection to himself. He considered people that he saw on the street, complete strangers. These he could watch for a short period and assess the risk, plan the trap, implement the strategy and enjoy the process. He fantasized over a number of prospects, but he never carried the planning beyond that initial stage. When he was ready to seriously begin, the strategy would want to be well thought out. A location where the process would occur would have to be found and verified as safe. Averell knew that the planning should be thorough, every contingency considered and a “Plan B” for everything should be developed. He was not ready to begin, yet. Casually thinking and developing scenarios in his mind, fantasizing over the play of the session and considering as many possible problems as he could, would lead to an almost perfect plan. So as he went about his business, dealing with ordinary people in ordinary circumstances, he was constantly thinking of ways to get them into that potentially compromised positions where he could control them, get them to a place where he could restrain them, then probe them, watch their eyes, open their bodies and see their beating hearts, then watch as the life blood flowed out of them and the fire left their eyes. He thought about Sarah, bound and helpless. He envisioned Ellie being forced to watch as he probed Sarah. Each time he ran the scenario in his mind, he became more excited, his eyes widened, his muscles tensed and he would begin to perspire, heavily. Then as the problems with his plan would become obvious, his mind would try to act quickly to address each flaw in that plan. His thinking progressed through various scenarios, finding the weakness, modifying his plan and gaining confidence as he progressed.

  “That is why we plan.” He muttered to himself as he drove the interstate.

  “So, we are constantly making a new plan, a better plan.”

  “Yes, each one is better than the last, we are getting close to our first experiment.”

  On a July evening as he was walking across a parking lot to his car after a movie, he spotted a man, apparently drunk, lying on the ground next to a dumpster.

  “We could start with this guy, practice, remember, practice,” said Stelian.

  “No, it’s too risky” said Averell.

  “But that’s part of the fun,” said Stelian.

  “No!” asserted Averell, “and he is not right. It should be a woman, not a man. And he is dirty and smells.” Averell got into his car and drove to a nearby motel he had used before.

  “Well it’s been, what two months, welcome back” said the desk clerk.

  “How long are you with us this time?”

  “Just the night, gotta’ get back on the road and be in Erie in the

  morning.”

  The clerk gave him a key and said good night.

  “Good night,” said Averell and he went to his room and was asleep almost immediately.

  Morning came and Averell was back on the road heading for Erie.

  “We could have done that guy in the gutter, who would know?, who would care?” said Stelian.

  “I said No!”

  The rest of the trip was relatively quiet, Averell turned on the radio but stations were in and out, he turned it off and said to himself, “I should get a ta
pe player installed. I should get a new car, with a tape player.”

  “Yes, that’s a good idea.” and again, silence.

  He arrived in Erie around 7:45 and had time for breakfast before his first appointment. He drove to the shopping center where the big box store was and parked near the front door. It wouldn’t open until nine, but his appointment was at 8:30. He walked down to the fast food place a few doors away and went in for breakfast. He was sitting at a table finishing his coffee when a man approached, “Averell, good morning.”

  “Hey Jack, how have you been?”

  “Great, it’s a little early, but if you’re finished, we can get started, get a jump on the day” said Jack.

  “Okay, all I have left is my coffee and—.”

  “That’s what I came in for, I’ll grab a cup and we can get going.”

  “Sure, okay.”

  As they were walking, Jack said, “So how was your trip in this morning, heard there was an accident on 90 just north of here.”

  “Didn’t see it, and I can’t seem to hold a station on my radio for more than a few minutes.”

  “Yeah, I have a tape player in my car and I listen to whatever I want, no problems.”

  Averell was thinking he was about due for a new and better vehicle and replied, “I’m going to look at new cars this weekend, I’ll make sure that I have a tape player in whatever I get.”

  They turned into the store and went about talking about supplies and the specials that Averell had this month. Several times during the morning, Averell’s mind drifted off to a new car. “What should I get?”

  That weekend back in Rochester at his town house, Averell scanned the newspaper for used cars. Nothing appealed. That was disappointing and he was about to pour another cup of coffee when his ever present companion chimed in, “Well we could look at new cars.”

  “I don’t think so, too expensive,” said Averell.

  “We should look,” said Stelian “And we have enough money.”

  After being totally frustrated by the listings in the newspaper, Averell got dressed and headed out to a dealer.

  “I’m just curious, what do you have in a larger car? I’m in sales and travel a lot, want something that is big enough to carry my samples and get decent mileage.”

  “You’re a family man, we have some mini vans that you can put the wife and kids in and have plenty of room for luggage,” said the toothy grin with the limp handshake.

  “No, not married and I don’t like kids, I’m in sales and travel, and I don’t like vans.”

  “Well step into my office and we can check the list, my name’s Earl, what’s yours?”

  Averell thought a moment, he did not like this guy and wanted to get away from him.

  “Davis, my name’s Al Davis” he said, thinking of someone who he

  would like to see Earl meet.

  “You liar,” said Stelian.

  They talked for another minute and Averell said, “oh look at the time, I gotta’ run, pick up the kids, bye.”

  As he was walking away, Earl said “You don’t have any—, ah crap,

  another jerk.”

  Averell got in his car and drove down the road looking for another

  dealer.

  “A mini-van, we should check them out,” said Stelian.

  He pulled into another lot and parked, “Good morning, can I help you?”

  “Well I have a few questions.”

  “Sure, my name is Tom Walters,” he said with an extended hand, “Do you have anything specific in mind?”

  “No, not really.” Tom’s hand was strong and dry, not overpowering, but firm. Averell felt better about this one and continued, “I travel a lot, up and down I-90, I’m in sales, office supplies.”

  “So do you carry samples and some demo spreads?”

  “Yeah, that and my luggage, and sometimes I stop in those rest areas and take a nap, so I was thinking about a larger car.”

  “Well I hope that I have something that will fit what you want. Have you thought about buying or a lease on a vehicle. There are advantages both ways, depending on your needs and the programs they offer.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it. I’ve had that thing about three years now,” as he gestured toward the seven year old Chevy in the parking lot, “ I got it used in Georgia when I was stationed there. It has less than seventy thousand miles on it and still rides as smooth as ever. Mileage isn’t the greatest, but it has been good to me for the last few years.”

  “Well then, why don’t we look at the several types of vehicles we have and you can narrow it down to type. We have a pretty good selection of each so, type first, then color and extras. Whatta’ ya think?”

  “Okay, sounds good to me, by the way, my name’s Averell, Averell

  Danker.”

  Tom took out a business card and handed it to Averell, “Just in case you want to come back and continue.”

  “Come back?”

  “Sure, If I read you the right way, you are going to hit a few places, see what’s out there and think it over. Hey this is not a box of cereal, It’s a serious financial commitment. You want to take your time and do it right.”

  “Yeah, yeah you’re right.”

  Tom showed him economy cars, mid size and full size sedans and then suggested that they just look at the mini-vans, if for no other reason than to knock them out of the game.

  “Okay, sure let’s look.”

  The first was a loaded van with a sound system that was out of sight. The second had full tinted windows and a tape player, each had fold down seats in the rear that would allow hauling of rather large loads. He looked a number of mini-vans and after an hour he said, “You were right, I have to sit down and think this through.”

  “Okay, no problem, let me give you some printed info, you don’t want to carry all this in your head.”

  “I’ll get something on everything we looked at.”

  “No, just the full size sedan like that silver one and the mini-vans.”

  “Ah, see we have already narrowed the field, just remember this is going to be YOUR car, so get it for yourself, not for anybody else.”

  Averell took the info, thanked Tom and drove off the lot. He got about a mile down the road and pulled into a McDonalds, got a cup of coffee and started to look through the brochures. Within another hour Averell was back at the dealership looking for Tom. Another hour and he was driving off the lot in a new 1990 mini-van with tinted windows and a tape deck / CD player.

  “I like this.”

  “Yeah, me too,” said Stelian.

  * * *

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Averell pulled the knife from his back pocket . . .

  The van handled rather easily, more so than Averell had expected. His first few calls that next week were extended by his bragging about his new “ride” to his customers. “Yeah, it handles the road better than we thought, I mean better than I thought.”

  “Thanks pal,” said Stelian.

  Always in a planning mode, Averell offered a several people a ride in his van to see how easily someone would hop in and be contained. Most declined the invitation but the few that did accept seemed to feel obliged to look at and touch almost everything. They were at one point or another, completely distracted and could easily be overpowered. “Very interesting,” he mumbled to himself as he dropped of the last of his guests.

  “Interesting.”

  Averell was again at the top of the heap with his new toy, and Stelian’s voice stayed quiet. Then, one night in Erie again, he had finished early and was debating whether to take in a movie or hit the road. He decided to check the local listings for theaters. Nothing interesting.

  “Damn it, I have a whole day to kill before I have to be in Mentor, a small town outside Cleveland. And I can be there in an hour and a half.”

  He checked his fuel gage and noted he was still at about 3/4 tank. He decided to drive to Mentor and if nothing else, there might be something on televi
sion. The road was virtually empty, it was a beautiful July day, six days after the holiday and he cruised along on the speed control set right at 65, “No tickets for this boy.”

  He arrived in Mentor as he assumed he would, in practically no time at all, and the tape player had lived up to its billing, great sound and no in and out or static like his radio. Not sure what to do Averell decided to drive around to a few movie theaters and see what was playing. He found one at a mall and pulled into the parking lot. As he was putting a few of his papers away, he noted a bar near the theater and in the parking lot was a man, sleeping in his car. The sun had not gone down yet and the sleeper was very visibly drunk.

  “We could do him,” said Stelian.

  “No, not safe.”

  “C’mon, we can catch this flick another time,” Stelian argued.