Pulse of Heroes

by A. Jacob Sweeny

  Michelle finished washing her hands and was checking her complexion in the mirror. She looked pale and tired. The warning bell buzzed above, and she knew she had to face Italian class one more time. She had it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and today was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Just get through the rest of the day, she was thinking to herself, and then she wouldn’t have to be back until next week.

  The second bell rang, letting all students know that it was time to settle into their classrooms. Michelle looked up at the clock. It was five minutes to 11. She really did have every intention of going to class, but suddenly it just felt like some switch turned off, and instead of walking out of the bathroom she just stood there. Her legs felt immensely heavy and her feet felt like they were sticking to the floor. It was the most bizarre sensation. It was as if her own body was fighting her. She had a minute to get to class; after that she would be late. If she ran she could make it by no later than 11:05. But she didn't run, and she didn't make it to class at all.

  Michelle found herself in the girls’ changing room, sitting on a bench with her knees pressed up against her chest. What was she doing there, she thought? She was actually cutting class, and she had never done that before. She felt horrible. Not only for the fact that she was hiding in the girls’ locker room, but because she thought it was pathetic to be cutting class out of fear alone. She had let herself down. Michelle knew that it was only a matter of time before someone found her there, so she decided to leave the school grounds hoping not to run into the ‘truant witch’ Mrs. FitzSimmons. Everybody knew that she wasn't a real witch, and in fact was a very nice lady and she even laughed when she heard what the kids had named her. But as nice as she was, if you weren’t in class you were going to get a yellow card and be sent to the office.

  Outside, the school felt eerily empty, especially since it wasn’t and there were hundreds of students tucked away inside the classrooms. Shuffling her feet, Michelle slowly walked over to the back of the school where she would be less likely to be found out, and from there she began walking the school perimeter and praying for the time to pass. Once the bell rang to mark the end of third period, she was able to exhale deeply; she had survived. Of course, now she would have to deal with questions as to her whereabouts during class. Michelle fished through her locker to retrieve her cell phone which was buried down deep, and texted Samantha to pick up something in the cafeteria for her to eat. She would meet her at the bleachers.

  It was a particularly beautiful day for late November. The sun was emanating white light, the air felt crisp and clean, and all the plants and trees were incredibly green and lush. Yet for all its beauty, the day was also very cold. Michelle sat down on the bleachers, bundled up in her puffy jacket, gloves and matching faux fur trimmed hat. She had the hat pulled down so low that she could see the edges of the fur sticking down into her view. She was in a lethargic, dreamlike state when Samantha walked up carrying her hot cocoa.

  “Hey, space cadet.” Samantha handed her the cocoa and pulled out a plastic wrapped Danish from the front pocket of her own fuzzy hoodie. “They didn't have any fresh bagels, so I got you this instead. I hope that's okay.”

  “It's fine,” Michelle said, taking the Danish. Samantha settled down and began to eat her own lunch.

  No one said anything for a while, so finally Samantha had to break the silence. “There is something wrong, right?”

  Michelle contemplated telling her the truth of what she had just done, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. It was strange because she always shared everything with Samantha. But, just like she hadn’t been able to walk to class, she felt the same impediment when she tried to talk about it.

  “No, I'm just tired,” Michelle answered.

  “Are you sure?” Samantha insisted.

  “Yeah. I don't know, maybe it’s just the holidays.” Michelle was still staring into the distance, rather than looking at her friend.

  Confused, Samantha asked, “Is it because your brother's girlfriend is going to be sleeping in your room?”

  “Maybe,” Michelle answered, and at the same time realized that she had completely forgotten about that. Toby was bringing his new girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner and Michelle had suggested to him that she could spend the night in her room because there was no way that their parents would feel comfortable with Toby and her sleeping together. And besides, nobody enjoyed being that intimate with somebody’s parents around. Well, at least Michelle imagined that they wouldn't. Truth was that at that time she hadn't really minded, but now as she thought about it in school she realized that she wasn’t feeling very sociable.

  “Do you even know her name?” Samantha asked. Michelle had to think about that for a while.

  “You know, I never bothered to ask,” she giggled. Somebody blew a whistle from the track down below, and Tim and three other guys began running while the wrestling coach stood to the side with a stopwatch in hand. When they passed the bleachers where Michelle and Samantha were sitting, Tim slowed down and jogged over to the side.

  Are you girls defrosted yet?” he shouted up to them.

  Samantha elbowed Michelle and whispered, “I told you he's still trying to get your attention,” keeping her teeth together. Michelle whispered back in annoyance, “I don't care, Samantha.”

  Samantha whispered right back at her, “What's with you?” and a heartbeat later she stood up and yelled back down at Tim. “Keep running, we’re still freezing. I’ll let you know if it works!” Tim laughed and sped up to catch up with the rest of the team. Michelle immediately shoved Samantha in disapproval.

  “I can't believe you did that.” Michelle couldn't wait for the day to be over.

  When Michelle got home from school there was an unfamiliar van parked outside her house with “SAFETY FIRST – ALARM SYSTEMS” stenciled in big bold letters on the side door. Michelle rolled her eyes and wondered how much worse her day could get. She had cut class for the first time in her life, Tim was obviously back together with Bethany, and she was failing Italian. And now on top of all that, her parents were going to cage her up like some bird inside her house because everyone was paranoid over a measly little private school that was moving into the town.

  Michelle walked into the house through the open door and saw two men in blue uniforms wiring up the windows and installing a security system panel by the front entry. They both greeted her, and although the younger one was actually really cute, she wished that they would just go away. There were amazing aromas coming out of the kitchen and when Michelle recognized one of them as homemade stuffing she realized that her mother was already cooking for Thanksgiving dinner.

  “Come here and try this. Tell me what you think,” her mom asked, holding a wooden spoon dripping with homemade gravy.

  “What's up with the alarm system, Mom?” Michelle asked instead.

  Her mother set down the spoon and replied nonchalantly, “Oh, you know. Everybody else is getting them. It was a great deal this time of year, so I thought hey, why not?”

  “Right. And you’re telling me this has nothing to do with that boarding school moving in so close to our house?” Michelle's voice was demanding.

  “Tone down your voice, Michelle,” her mother scolded.

  Michelle was sorry. She hadn’t meant for the question to come out quite like that. Her mother explained that she and her father had wanted to get an alarm system for some time, and with the great holiday specials, they thought this was a perfect opportunity. It would be beneficial in lots of situations, not just because of the new school.

  When her mom asked her about her day, Michelle was reminded about her cutting class and she felt horrible. “It was okay,” she answered, and she avoided talking about the subject any longer by walking over to the stove and asking what was cooking in the big pot. Homemade cream of mushroom soup, and it tasted scrumptious. Michelle did have to hand it to her mom that she was the greatest cook ever!

  Early Thanksgiving morning, Mi
chelle was jolted awake by the loud sound of the alarm system going off. The sirens were deafening, and without even realizing that she was awake yet, she jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. Her dad was fidgeting with the panel, while both cell phones and the house line were ringing in unison. Toby and his girlfriend were standing at the front door in complete shock. It was an absolute madhouse, and nobody could hear what anyone else was saying. Eventually her father was able to turn the system off, and her mom explained to the alarm people that it was ‘user error’. Michelle's parents had forgotten to warn Toby about the alarm system, and he just did what he had always done; use his own key to unlock the front door. It turned out that he and the girlfriend had decided to show up extra early by actually driving at night instead of leaving on Thanksgiving morning. “Oh, don’t worry. They won’t mind,” he had assured her. What a way to meet the family, Michelle thought to herself, although she did see the humor in the situation, with all of them running around half asleep in their pajamas. Poor Toby she thought, he looked so embarrassed. Finally, after all the proper introductions were made everything returned to normal, and the rest of the day proceeded uneventfully.

  That Friday, Michelle, Toby and his girlfriend set out to take a walk in the woods towards the site where the new school was being constructed. Michelle told Toby all about the situation and he was curious to see the progress. They exited through the gate in the backyard and walked through the shadowy pines, their shoes crunching along dry leaves and moist earth. It took no longer than 20 minutes and they were at the perimeter of the property. Previously, it had been marked by a low wooden fence that encircled it, but now the old fence was no longer there and in its place was a tall cement wall that rounded the property, about nine feet high. They walked around the wall for a while looking for an opening, and eventually did find a section where it was still under construction.

  “This is private property,” Toby said. “If we go in there and get caught we could get in trouble.”

  “But there's nobody here. The place is totally deserted,” Michelle said.

  All three of them stood there and listened for a while to see if they could hear anything but the only thing they heard was the rustling of branches in the soft breeze.

  Michelle led the way. “It's the day after Thanksgiving. Nobody works today.” Michelle always felt brave when her older brother was around.

  They all followed her lead, walking around and checking out the site of the new emerging building. They found it amazing how quickly the giant structure was shaping up. “They must have had 100 men working here all at once to get this thing off the ground so fast!” exclaimed Toby. Michelle didn't really understand what he was talking about because in her eyes all she saw was the metal framing. But Toby was studying engineering, and he explained to her that all there was left to do was to install the outer and inner walls, and at the rate they were progressing, that could be done in another two weeks. They continued walking around the grounds checking things out, and eventually they arrived at the front driveway. At first Michelle didn't think anything of it; it was just a car parked next to some other vehicles and work trucks. But just as they were about to turn around and head back, Michelle realized that she had seen that particular car before. It was the same one that Samantha had almost swerved into on Halloween night! It was one of the newer models of the Ford Thunderbirds. Of course, it could have been another car that just looked like it, but it was the unusual color that caught Michelle's eyes. The Thunderbird was clearly off-white, but had small specks of opalescence embedded in the paint. On Halloween night under the glow of the halogen streetlamp, she vividly remembered seeing the different colors reflecting in the light.

  Toby was amused that Michelle was taking such an interest in a car. “Michelle, I think it will be quite a while before mom and dad help you get one of these.” He walked over to the car and examined it more closely. Impressed, he let out a whistle. “Those are expensive leather seats, and white too. Somebody’s got mucho bucks!” He then noticed that there was an alarm light flashing inside the vehicle. “Let's go. If we get any closer, we're going to set this thing off too.” One alarm snafu for the weekend was enough. Michelle agreed. She had seen enough of the car anyway; it only brought back memories of that evening, memories of the night she could have died, memories she would like to forget. Michelle didn't say much during the walk back to the house. She was lost in thought, reliving that Halloween evening, churning one question in her head over and over again; what if the car hadn't halted so abruptly in front of the tree?

  Thanksgiving weekend ended much too quickly in Michelle's opinion. Toby and his girlfriend left Saturday evening, and by Sunday she was back in her school mode. She used most of the day to go over the Italian lesson she had missed in class the week before, and felt that perhaps she was starting to get a grasp on the subject. She also had an essay to finish in history, and a journal to complete for chemistry class.

  December felt like it always did. Everything seemed unreal during the 12th month of the year. It's like the whole world took a mental vacation, even though everybody was still in school and everybody was still working. Michelle always found it humorous that it felt like nobody dared to breathe until Christmas was over, and only then could one exhale with relief, as if they'd finished some huge accomplishment when in fact the whole thing was about shopping for 2½ weeks, making a rerun of Thanksgiving dinner, and visiting with the relatives for a few hours. But then again, perhaps she was a cynic because her birthday was in late January, and January always felt like it had nothing on December. At least February had Valentine's Day.

  Winter formal was set to take place on Saturday, December 19th. Michelle was feeling particularly down, and there were many reasons for that. Firstly, she'd never been to a formal, and that had always made her feel left out and anomalous. Secondly, Samantha had started dating this guy James, and had way less time to spend with her. Thirdly, studying for class midterms was taking her paramount timeslots, and fourthly but not least, for the first time her brother would not be spending Christmas with the family, but was going to his girlfriend's family celebration somewhere in upstate New York instead. Of course the fact that it was cold and gray and the sun only peeked out for a few hours during the daytime didn't help matters at all.

  Michelle’s father told them that the whole family was invited to a large holiday party where they would get to mingle with the mayor and other important people. Great, she thought. She’d have to pretend to be the perfect daughter of the Town Councilman. And of course they will all ask her about school and how she's doing, and if they really knew the truth she would embarrass her entire family. What was she supposed to tell them, that she's doing great and she's an honor roll student. The town was too small; everybody knew everybody, and everyone had children that went to the same school. With the way her luck has been lately, somebody from Italian class would be there and just pass along the fact that she has not been a regular attendee. She would have to come clean and tell her mother the truth. She was flunking Italian.

  To take advantage of every minute within the day, Michelle started taking her dinner upstairs in her bedroom. She cocooned herself in the room and studied from the moment she got home from school until her brain just couldn't take it anymore. She was doing pretty well in all the other classes, and was aiming for all A’s as a way to soften the blow about failing the other. She was relieved when she read the schedule and found out that her Italian midterm wasn't scheduled until Friday, because she could definitely use all the extra cramming time. Maybe she could at least pass the test and not have to repeat the entire class. D or D- was still better than an F.

  Michelle plowed through her exams, military style, seeing every test as a small battle in a bigger war. By Wednesday she was done with all the other classes and moved all of her attention and focus to Italian. She almost completely forgot that she had yet to be asked to the winter formal; that was until Samantha dropped by to show her the dress she
had purchased. It was a beautiful blue gown that was layered with the thinnest and lightest fabric that Michelle had ever seen or touched. When Samantha put it on, she looked radiant and it flowed around her like water. Only then did Michelle feel the pang of jealousy. She swallowed hard and mustered her biggest approving smile.

  “You look absolutely beautiful Samantha. I think that dress was made for you.”

  Samantha twirled around in front of the mirror, watching the fabric flutter from the movement of the air beneath it. Michelle was entranced by the different hues of blue. There was azure blue, and cornflower blue mixed with some aqua. Suddenly Michelle had a déjà vu; it was a split second flash of the strange dream she had experienced. The blue of Samantha’s dress somehow transformed into the image of the sea that Michelle had waded into, but then, just as the image formed and she could recognize it, it was gone. Michelle gasped, and it must have been loud enough because when she looked up, Samantha was staring right back at her in confusion.