by Alan Reed
They are in Agatha’s apartment. It smells of cigarettes and Agatha’s perfume. There is a film projector set up in Agatha’s living room. It is pointed at a wall. There is a sofa in front of it.
Emile gives Agatha the reel of film. She goes over to the film projector. She threads the film through the projector.
She says: ‘Close the drapes, darling.’
Emile goes over to the window. He closes the drapes. It makes it dark in the room.
Agatha says: ‘It’ll be ready in a moment.’ She is still threading the film through the projector. She points to the sofa. She says: ‘Sit down. Pour yourself a drink.’
Emile sits on the sofa. It is a good sofa. There is a pattern embroidered on it. The pattern is of flowers and leaves.
There is a small table in front of the sofa. There are a bottle and two glasses on the table. Emile does not recognize the bottle. He picks the bottle up. He reads what is printed on the label. He still does not know what it is.
He pours some of what is in the bottle into the glasses. He smells it. It is strong.
Agatha says: ‘There.’
She pushes a button. The projector turns on.
She sits down on the sofa. She picks up one of the glasses. She says: ‘Cheers.’ She touches her glass to Emile’s.
She drinks from her glass. Emile sips from his. The projector clatters and throws light on the wall. Agatha settles into the sofa.
She touches Emile’s arm. She says: ‘I’m excited to see this.’ There is a room.
There is nothing moving in the room. There are two puppets here. They are standing close to each other. The suitcase that one of them was in is next to them. She has just stepped out of it.
She is standing next to the other one. He said things and now they are not saying things. He is holding her hand. She is resting her head on his chest.
It is quiet. They are not moving. They are waiting for what happens next.
The light in the room is dim. It keeps flickering. It is hard to see what is in the room. They are standing on a carpet. It is in the middle of the room. There is a bed against one wall and a dresser against another. The dresser is old.
Everything is old and falling apart.
He takes a step away from her.
Her head stays where it was when it was resting on his chest. She did not want him to step away. He lets go of her hand. It falls to her side.
He takes another step away from her.
It is what has to happen next. She does not try to stop him. She knows that it is what has to happen next.
He takes another step.
He is wearing a pair of boots and a jacket. The boots are heavy. He moves like he is not used to their weight.
She stands where she is. Where they were. She watches him moving away from her. She has not moved. She is watching him.
It is like she is figuring out what he is doing.
Her hands are touching in front of her body. She is not standing as straight as she could be. It is like she is nervous. But she watches him.
He is wearing a pair of boots and a jacket. The jacket is tattered. There is a patch sewn onto the back of it. It is covering a hole. There is a suitcase beside him. It is not the suitcase she was inside. It is small enough for him to pick up.
He bends down. He picks up the suitcase.
The light is dim. It flickers on and off. It is on top of the dresser and there is a lampshade over it. It is heavy with lace and trim. And dust. The room is heavy with dust. The light does not fill it. There is dust and darkness in all the corners.
He has the suitcase in his hand.
He walks away.
She cannot quite see him anymore. It is too dark. She does not look troubled that she cannot quite see him.
She stands with her hands held in front of her. She watches him.
The light flickers. It is dark. He keeps walking.
He is gone.
She cannot see him anymore. She can hear him walking. She does not know where he is. She does not know where he is going. All she can hear is the sound his boots make when he walks.
She turns her head away from the sound. Her shoulders slump and her whole body starts to sink. Her head starts to drop. She does not let her head drop. She raises it. She uses her hands to move the hair out of her face.
She stands straight.
She takes a step. She takes another step. She starts to walk.
She cannot hear him walking anymore. She hears a streetcar come. It does not stop. The sound of it rises and then falls away. There are things in the dark. Beyond the dresser and the bed and the lamp.
She goes towards them.
She is at the window. She moves the curtains aside.
There are lights on in the street outside. There are always lights on in the streets. They flicker in the dark. The city does not ever stop. She can see the streetcar moving away from her.
She puts her hands to the window. There is no one on the streetcar. There is no one out on the street.
She looks. There is nothing to see.
In the room there is a bed and there is a dresser. There is a suitcase open in the middle of the room. She feels around the edges of the window. She is looking for the latch. She opens the latch.
She pushes against the glass. The window opens.
She puts her hands on the window ledge. She steps through the window with one leg and then the other leg. She is hanging on to the window ledge with her hands.
A breeze lifts her dress up. The wind is cold against her legs.
She lowers herself into it.
She does not look back.
She lets go of the window. She falls to the ground. It is quiet. Then there is the sound of her taking a step, and then another step.
She is walking away.
Another streetcar goes by. It rings its bell as it goes through the intersection.
She is gone.
She is gone and everything goes black.
The film ends.
Agatha and Emile are sitting on her sofa. There is a table in front of the sofa. There is a bottle on it. Beside the bottle there are two glasses.
Agatha leans forward. She takes one of the glasses from the table. She drinks from the glass. She swallows. Emile can see her throat move when she swallows.
She puts her hand to her hair. Her hair is piled on top of her head. She checks to make sure it is still piled on top of her head.
She puts her glass back down on the table. She looks at Emile. She smiles. It is not a wolfish smile. There is something sad in her eyes. She says: ‘Oh, Emile.’
She is not sure what else to say.
She stands up. She sways for a moment.
The projector is still running. Agatha walks over to the projector. She turns it off.
It clatters and then it stops. The room is dark. Emile takes the other glass from the table. He sips from it.
Agatha says: ‘That was fantastic.’
She walks from the projector to the sofa. She is drunk. She is not moving steadily.
There is a lamp beside the sofa. Agatha turns the lamp on. She sits down beside Emile.
She does not say anything. She smiles. Her glass is on the table. She picks it up. She touches her glass to Emile’s.
Her smile is wolfish again.
She says: ‘Let me show it to some friends of mine.’
Emile drinks from his glass. He does not know what they are drinking. He is not sure that he likes it. He does not feel well. Agatha touches his arm.
She says: ‘You wouldn’t mind, would you?’
Emile shakes his head. He says: ‘It is okay.’
Agatha drinks from her glass again. Emile does not drink from his glass.
She tips her head back. She empties her glass into her mouth. She licks her lips. Emile is sitting beside her on the sofa. He is holding on to his glass with both hands.
She reaches for the bottle. She pours some of what is in it into her glass.
She says: ‘Emile. Giv
e me your glass.’
Emile gives her his glass. She pours some of what is in the bottle into Emile ’s glass.
She puts the bottle back on the table. The bottle is almost empty. It was not almost empty when Emile arrived.
She picks up her glass with one hand. She picks up Emile’s glass with her other hand.
She moves closer to Emile. She gives Emile his glass. Her skirt rides up on her legs.
She looks Emile in the eye. She touches Emile’s glass with hers. She brings her glass to her mouth.
She drinks. She is looking at Emile. She is drunk. Her eyes are heavy.
Emile looks at his glass. He ducks his head down. He is breathing too fast. He does not like what they are drinking. He drinks from his glass.
Agatha touches his leg with her hand.
Agatha puts her glass on the table. She stands up. Standing up makes her dizzy. She rests her head in her hands until she feels less dizzy.
She straightens her skirt. She goes into her bedroom.
She comes out of her bedroom carrying a blanket. She puts it over Emile. He is lying crumpled on the sofa.
She bends over him. She touches his face with her hand. She says: ‘Good night, Emile.’
He moves slightly. He settles under the blanket.
Agatha smiles. It is not a wolfish smile.
She kisses his cheek.
She picks his glass up off the floor. She puts it on the table. She turns out the light.
She goes back to her bedroom. She goes inside. She closes the door behind her.
Emile,
I went back to the train station. I went inside. I bought a ticket.
I spoke to the same woman who was there the day you left. She was still knitting that sweater. She stopped knitting to sell me a ticket and then she picked up her knitting again.
She didn’t recognize me. I wanted her to recognize me. I wanted her to know what this meant. But I was just a girl to her.
I don’t want to be just a girl.
I went out onto the platform. I had the cigarette butt from when you left. I put it back where I found it. It is just a cigarette butt. It can’t be anything more than that.
I have nothing now, Emile. I don’t know what will happen next. I don’t know what I will do.
I am leaving.
I will not be the girl who lives over the grocery store. Not anymore. I don’t know what I will be. I don’t know and I am smiling.
I love you, Emile.
12
Isobel wakes up.
She is in her bed. She is lying between the sheets. It is light out. It is morning. There is light coming in through the window. It is not very much light. It is too early in the morning for there to be very much light.
There are specks of dust floating in the light.
Isobel sits up in bed. She pulls at her hair. She pulls at her hair and then she pulls it behind her head. She ties it into a knot so that it stays at the back of her head.
She gets out of bed. She goes over to the sink. She runs water into the sink.
She is standing in front of the sink. She is waiting for the sink to fill. There is a mirror over the sink. She can see herself in the mirror.
She looks at herself.
She is tall. She has dark hair and dark eyes. She is thin. She is not as thin as she was. She is stronger now. Her eyes are harder.
There is a washcloth beside the sink. She uses it to wash her face. She takes her underwear off. She uses the washcloth to wash the rest of her body.
When she is done she dries herself with the towel hanging next to the sink.
She goes to where her dress is lying on the floor. She picks it up. She puts it on. It is plain and grey. It is good for working in.
There is a suitcase by the door. There are other clothes inside it. They are new. Isobel bought them.
She goes past the suitcase. She leaves the room. She goes down the stairs. She is in the room at the back of the grocery store.
Mr. Koch is not here yet. He will be here soon but he is not here yet. It is still too early.
Isobel goes out into the alley. She is at the top of the steps that go down into the alley. She props the door open with the brick that Mr. Koch leaves beside the door.
Isobel is carrying a pack of cigarettes. It is in her hand. She takes a cigarette out of the pack. She puts it between her lips. She lights it with a match.
She draws on the cigarette.
She exhales.
She sits down on the top step. She holds her cigarette in her hand.
She waits.
She sits on the top step. She draws on her cigarette. She exhales. It is early in the morning. The light is sharp the way that it sometimes is this early in the morning.
She finishes her cigarette. She takes another one out. She puts it between her lips. She lights it.
Isobel hears the front door of the shop open. Mr. Koch is here. She does not turn around.
Mr. Koch walks through the grocery store. He came in the front door. He is walking through the store to the back.
He comes out the back door. He sees Isobel sitting at the top of the steps.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Good morning, Isobel.’
Isobel says: ‘Good morning, Mr. Koch.’
Mr. Koch goes back into the store. He goes into his office. He takes off his hat and his scarf and his overcoat. He starts his coffee-making machine.
He hums a tune to himself. It is the tune that he hums to himself every morning.
The coffee-making machine finishes making the coffee. Mr. Koch goes out to where Isobel is sitting. He is carrying two cups of coffee.
Isobel is sitting on the steps.
She is still smoking her cigarette. She smokes and she looks down the alley.
Mr. Koch chuckles. He says: ‘Waiting for him will not make him come faster.’
He hands a cup of coffee to Isobel.
Isobel looks up at Mr. Koch. She smiles. She takes the cup of coffee.
Mr. Koch stands behind her. He reaches into one of the pockets of his waistcoat. He takes out a pack of cigarettes.
He puts a cigarette to his mouth. He takes a lighter out of another pocket of his waistcoat.
He lights the cigarette. He draws deeply on it. He blows smoke out into the air.
He makes a contented sound. It comes from deep in his throat. He drinks from his cup of coffee. Isobel is still looking down the alley. Mr. Koch looks at Isobel, then he looks down the alley with her.
They are waiting for Oskar to come with his truck.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Are you all ready?’ He is still looking down the alley.
Isobel does not say anything. If she said something she would have to turn around. She is looking down the alley.
She nods her head.
Mr. Koch and Isobel drink from their cups of coffee. They do not say anything more.
Mr. Koch finishes his cigarette. He flicks the butt of it away.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Well.’
He says: ‘I had best get to work.’
He is holding his cup of coffee. He drinks from it one last time.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Come get me when Oskar comes.’
Isobel nods her head again.
Mr. Koch goes back into the grocery store. He goes into his office.
Isobel is still sitting on the steps behind the store. She finishes her cigarette. She takes out another cigarette. She puts it between her lips. She lights it.
She waits for Oskar to come.
Oskar’s truck turns into the alley.
Isobel is still sitting on the steps. She is holding her cup of coffee in one hand.
She puts her cup down on the step beside her. It is empty. She stands up. She stretches her arms up over her head. Oskar sees her. He honks the horn on his truck.
He stops his truck. He stops it so that the back of it is beside the steps going up into the store. He turns the engine off.
He gets out of his truck. He is standing by the step
s that go into the grocery store.
Isobel is waiting for him there.
Oskar says: ‘Good morning, Isobel.’
Isobel says: ‘Good morning, Oskar.’
Oskar opens the back of the truck. There are crates in the back of the truck.
Oskar gets into the back of the truck. He puts his work gloves on. Isobel goes into the back of the store.
She says: ‘Mr. Koch!’ Mr. Koch comes out of his office.
Mr. Koch says: ‘Is he here?’
Isobel says: ‘Yes.’
Mr Koch says: ‘Good, good.’
Mr. Koch and Isobel go out into the alley. Oskar is in the back of the truck.
Oskar says: ‘Good morning, Mr. Koch.’
Mr. Koch says: ‘Good morning, Oskar.’ He says: ‘And how are you today?’
Oskar says: ‘I am well.’ He says: ‘How are you?’
Mr. Koch says: ‘I am well enough.’He says: ‘Come, let us get to it.’
They go out of the store. They go to Oskar’s truck. Oskar is in the back of the truck.He hands a crate to Mr. Koch. He hands a crate to Isobel.
Isobel and Mr. Koch go into the store carrying the crates. Oskar follows them. He is also carrying a crate.
They put the crates they are carrying by the door and then they go back out into the alley. Oskar gets into the back of the truck. He hands a crate to Mr. Koch and he hands a crate to Isobel.
They go back into the store carrying the crates. Oskar follows them. He is also carrying a crate.
They put the crates by the door. They go back out into the alley. They get more crates from Oskar’s truck. They bring the crates into the store.
They do this until there are no more crates in the back of Oskar’s truck.
When there are no more crates Oskar closes the back of the truck. He takes off his work gloves. He turns to Mr. Koch.
Oskar says: ‘Goodbye, Mr. Koch.’
Mr. Koch says: ‘Goodbye, Oskar.’ He says: ‘I will see you tomorrow.’
Oskar says: ‘Goodbye, Isobel.’
Oskar turns to get into the truck.
Isobel says: ‘Wait.’
Oskar stops. He does not get into the truck. He turns around. He looks at Isobel. He puts his hands in his pockets. He says: ‘Yes?’
Isobel takes a breath. She says: ‘Do you go past the station?’