Unchained Memories

by Dena Blake

  You could’ve provided that tidbit of background information a little sooner. “Address?” She hit the speaker button. Blake rattled off the address, and she typed it into the maps app on her phone. “Thanks.”

  Jillian was relieved to see Amelia’s car parked in front of Julie’s house when she pulled up. She would explain to Amelia about Kelly and get this whole mess straightened out. She knocked but had no answer. She knocked again, and after a few minutes, she heard the deadbolt flip. Julie answered the door dressed in a mid-length silk robe.

  “Is Amelia here?” She looked around Julie into the living room. Amelia was nowhere in sight. She had to be there. Her car was out front.

  “She doesn’t want to see you.” Julie blocked her from going any farther.

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “What do you want, Jillian?”

  “Okay, we’re going to play this game, are we? Amelia, please come out here and talk to me.” Jillian pushed by Julie and went down the hallway, opening each door as she traveled until she finally found Amelia in the master bedroom pulling on a T-shirt. She scanned the room, saw the remnants of clothing scattered about. “Seriously? Is that all it took? One minute of doubt?” Jillian narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t even give me a chance to explain.” She bit her bottom lip. “I—”

  “You have someone in New York waiting for you.”

  “Are you okay, Ames?” Julie’s voice rang in Jillian’s ears, and she sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. She shook her head and cleared her throat. “And apparently, you still have someone right here.” She spun around, rushed by Julie, and ran full force into Darcy.

  “Hey. I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” Without a word, Jillian pushed by her and out the door. “What the hell?” Darcy said as she fought to keep her balance and stumbled out of Jillian’s way.

  Julie saw the smile on Darcy’s face fade when she took in Amelia’s lack of clothing as she appeared in the hallway. She seemed to come to the same conclusion Jillian had. Amelia and Julie weren’t finished with each other.

  “Oh, my God.” Darcy looked from Julie to Amelia and then back again. “I thought we had something going here.”

  “We do.” Julie’s stomach clenched. She knew how it looked.

  “Not if you’re still sleeping with her.” Darcy turned toward the door.

  “Darcy, wait. Please let me explain.” She tried to get ahead of her, but Darcy was already out the door.

  “You should’ve told me you were still seeing her,” Darcy shouted without looking back.

  “I’m not.” Julie started out the door after her, but Amelia grabbed her by the arm. “Let her go, Jules.”

  Julie whipped around. “What the fuck are you doing?” She pulled her arm free. “Enough of these games, Amelia. You need to get your shit together. You may not want a relationship, but I do. I’m not going to let you destroy it.” Julie looked out the front door to see Darcy speeding away in her car and then back at Amelia to catch the shocked look on her face. “Jesus, Amelia. You’re like a fucking steamroller. You destroy everything in your path.” Julie pushed by her into the bedroom, threw off her robe, and pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. “I can’t do this with you anymore.”

  “Don’t you even want to know why I did it?”

  “God, you’re selfish, Amelia. This is exactly the reason we’re not married anymore. It’s always about you.” She shook her head. “No. I don’t want to know why you did it.” She threw her hands out to her sides and raised her shoulders. “I don’t care. Did you ever think I might want a little happiness in my life?” Amelia stood silent, wide-eyed, watching her. “I have to go find Darcy now and hope she believes me when I tell her what she saw wasn’t really what she saw and that you’re a fucking lunatic.”

  “I’m sorry, Jules. I’ll come with you and explain.”

  “No.” Julie held up a hand. “You won’t. You’ve done enough damage for one night. Now get dressed and go home. I don’t want you here when I get back.” Julie saw an unexpected look of hurt on Amelia’s face, and a pang of guilt hit her. “If you want to be any part of my life, you have to stop acting like what I want doesn’t matter. I can’t handle this kind of destruction.”

  “Jules, I’m sorry. I’ll tell Darcy it was all me.” Julie actually thought she heard a touch of vulnerability in Amelia’s voice, and it made her stop for a minute.

  “You’re damn right you will.” Julie headed out the door, leaving Amelia standing in the hallway. She didn’t have time to deal with her drama tonight. She had to see if she could salvage what she’d started with Darcy.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  The thought of Amelia with another woman sent a jealous shiver up Jillian’s spine. Especially Julie. “It makes me crazy, Marcus. She said all those things to me, and then, with one minute of doubt, she goes and sleeps with Julie.”

  “Did you tell her you wanted to be exclusive?”

  “No. I have no claim on her.” She covered her face with her hands. “I just thought…”

  “You just thought she loved you without question?”

  “I don’t know what I thought.” She kneaded her forehead with her fingers. “It won’t work. I knew that from the beginning. I have a life that exists fifteen hundred miles away.”

  “Have you thought about how it could work?”

  “No. I haven’t even considered it. Every time I think about leaving, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

  “No one says long-distance relationships can’t work. You can afford to fly back and forth, can’t you?”

  She nodded. “I don’t want her for just a couple of weekends a month, Marcus. I want her all the time.”

  “Maybe you should be telling her that instead of me.”

  Jillian touched the button on Marcus’s phone after she left a message for Abby and held it between her hands. It immediately rang back. Jillian knew the number would be strange to her, and Abby wouldn’t answer until she’d listened to the message.

  “Hey, sweetie. What are you doing?” She cleared her throat.

  “Kristin and I are in her room watching a scary movie. Her mom won’t let us watch it on the big TV in the living room because of her little brother.” Her tone went up and down as she spoke, letting Jillian know she wasn’t happy with the situation.

  “You wouldn’t want him to have nightmares, would you?”

  “I guess not. Whose phone are you on?”

  “Marcus is in town. It’s his. I forgot mine in the car. What time is the movie over?”

  “We just started it. I’ve been trying to call you. Can I stay over here tonight? Kristin’s mom said it’s okay.”

  Jillian looked at her watch. It was after ten. She hadn’t realized how late it was. “Sure. Tell Kristin’s mom I’ll come get you two in the morning and take you to breakfast.”

  “Can we sit at the bar and watch them flip the pancakes?” Jillian could hear the excitement in Abby’s voice.

  “Sure.” Jillian smiled. She’d never known anyone who got so excited about watching someone cook. “I’ll come after ten so you two can sleep in.”

  “Thanks, Aunt…I mean Mom.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. I love you.” The emotional tingle that spread through her had been so powerful when Abby had called her mom. The three words that followed came out so quickly she couldn’t stop them.

  “Mom.” Abby’s voice was low, almost a whisper. “I love you too.”

  The line went dead. Tears welled in her eyes as Jillian dropped the phone to the table.

  “What’s wrong?” Marcus said as she came out of the bedroom.

  “She called me Mom.” She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. “She called me Mom and said she loves me.”

  “Oh, honey.” Marcus moved the short distance across the room, sat beside her, and took her in his arms. “That’s wonderful.”

  “What am I going to do now?”

  “So, it w
ould’ve been easier to leave before she called you Mom and told you she loves you?”

  “Now I’m something to her.” And she’s something to me. “Before, I was just mean Aunt JJ.” She rubbed her arms, trying to defeat the chill of the air-conditioning. “When did I become that girl, Marcus? The one who hurts everyone?”

  “I’m going to order some food.” He went to the desk and picked up the phone receiver. “You’ve had one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride today, and you need to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Well, then, I need to eat.” He pushed the button for room service.

  “Do you mind if I stay here with you tonight?” Jillian picked up her bag.

  “That extra room over there is reserved just for you. They have an excellent filet here. Eric had it the other night in the restaurant.”

  “Who’s Eric?”

  “He’s here on business from New York. I met him in the bar.”

  “That’s quite a coincidence. What are the chances you’d run into someone here from New York?”

  “I know. I’m taking it as a sign.” His voice rose. “We’re going for a boat ride on the canal after lunch tomorrow.”

  “I probably threw a monkey wrench into your plans tonight, didn’t I?” She headed into the bedroom.

  “No worries. It’s all good. I’m going to order you some food, and you’re going to eat,” he shouted after her.

  She unzipped her bag and pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. She’d stopped back by the house and picked up a few things before heading into the city. She knew there was a good possibility that Abby would sleep over at one of her friends’. She wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, but at least she’d have a good mattress and air-conditioning.

  * * *

  Jillian awoke to the smell of bacon and the sound of Marcus in her doorway chanting, “Breakfast is here, Princess.” She rolled out of bed, still in her yoga pants and sweatshirt. Her stomach rumbled. At Marcus’s insistence, she’d eaten a few bites of the food he’d ordered last night. It was after three when sleep had finally captured her. She made her way into the main room of the suite to find Marcus had already fixed her a plate of eggs, bacon, and fruit.

  “What have you decided to do?”

  “I’m going to talk to her.” Jillian picked up a slice of bacon and bit into it.

  “Good. Let her know how you feel.”

  “I’m not going to do that, Marcus. I’m going to break it off. There’s no future for us. I can’t change that.”

  “Yes, you can, and you know it. What I’m hearing is you won’t change it.”

  “I have a contract and an obligation to fill it. Do you know how hard it was for me to even get this sabbatical to come here?” She poured herself a cup of coffee. Caffeine would be her only savior today.

  “No, but I know contracts can be amended and even broken. It may cost you some money, but isn’t she worth it?”

  “She sleeps with other women, Marcus.”

  “Minor detail.” He shook his head and took a drink of his coffee. “Once you tell her you want to be exclusive, that will change.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Of course I do. You’re Jillian McIntyre. Who wouldn’t want to be exclusive with you?”

  She twisted her lips into a frown. “There’s nothing special about Jillian McIntyre. Plus, I’ve been lying to her since I got here.”

  “You haven’t lied. You just kept a few things to yourself.”

  “Like she kept the fact she’s sleeping with her ex-wife to herself.” She lifted an eyebrow and curled her lip up to one side. “Lied.”

  “So you’re just going to let it all go? What about the reason you came here?”

  “I’m not going to tell Blake about Abby. I have to go back to New York, and I’m not leaving without her.” Her stomach tightened, the bitterness of the coffee rolling inside. She knew Blake would be a wonderful father, and it tore at her knowing Abby would never know. “Abby will be fine with me.” She took one last bite of fruit and reached for her coffee. “I’m her mom now. I’ll take care of her.”

  Marcus’s expression was solid—no smile, no frown. “Just a few months ago, you were having trouble taking care of yourself. That’s quite a change.”

  “I guess I’ve grown up. Abby makes me realize I have more important things in life to worry about other than whether my shoes match my dress.” Jillian knew Amelia and her work had a lot to do with her change in outlook. Coming back home had been good for her.

  A wide grin spread across his face. “That’s a big step. I’m proud of you. And the nightmares?”

  “I’ve only had a few.” That was a lie, but she didn’t want Marcus talking her out of what had been the hardest decision she’d ever had to make.

  “And Kelly?”

  “I can’t worry about her right now. I need to settle things here and get back to New York.”

  “I’m worried about you, Jillian.”

  “I’ll be fine.” It may take a while, but I will be fine. Another lie. The emptiness was unbearable. It was as if someone had reached into her chest and squeezed the life from her heart. She wiped her mouth and dropped her napkin onto the table. “I need to go pick up the girls. I promised to take them to breakfast.”

  “Would you like reinforcements?”

  “No. You go have fun with your new friend. I have to do this on my own.”

  “Okay. Let me know how it goes.” Marcus didn’t seem at all disappointed Jillian had opted to handle the day on her own.

  * * *

  Jillian and the girls had bypassed the line of people waiting for tables and snagged three seats at the end of the counter, Kristin against the wall, Abby next to her, and Jillian flanking her on the other side. Though the girls each ordered eggs and pancakes, Jillian opted for coffee and a small bowl of fruit. She’d eaten plenty earlier but felt she needed to order something since she was taking up space in the packed restaurant.

  “What do you think about heading back to New York soon?”

  Abby set the forkful of pancake back down on her plate. “You want to go back?”

  “I thought you wanted to go back.”

  Abby slid a glance at Kristin, who was still eating. “I like it here. Don’t you?”

  “I do, but I have a job to get back to.”

  “Can’t you get a job here? What about the place you went to record for your show?”

  “I can’t do that all the time, honey.”

  “But I’ve made friends.” Jillian could see the angst in Abby’s eyes.

  “Don’t worry about it, honey. I’ll figure something out.”

  The beautiful smile returned to Abby’s face, and she dug back into her pancakes.

  Jillian hadn’t considered that in the short time they’d be here, Abby had grown attached. She wanted to stay, and it was apparent that leaving would hurt more people than just her.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  “Get up, sleepyhead. It’s almost noon.” Julie pushed through the door of the bedroom and plopped down on the bed next to Amelia.

  “I don’t want to. I just want to go back to sleep and dream about how my life was five days ago.”

  “No do-overs. We only move forward. We have a fund-raiser to finish planning, remember?” Julie shook her shoulder. “I brought muffins from that little place on Main Street and nice strong coffee.” The last word rang out of Julie’s lips in song.

  Amelia rolled over and put her head in Julie’s lap. “I swore I was never going to do this again. It hurts so much, Jules.”

  “I know, honey.” Julie swept the hair out of Amelia’s face.

  “For so long, I wondered if something was wrong with me because I never felt a connection like this.”

  “Honestly, I did too. Now we know there’s not.”

  “And I hurt you.” She looked up at Julie, and a tear ran across her cheek. “I hurt so many women.”

  “Don’t go all craz
y and start calling them.” Julie widened her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sure they’re fine now.”

  “No. I won’t do that.” She chuckled lightly, and then her smile faded. “Thanks for still loving me. I don’t think I could lose both you and Jillian at the same time.”

  “Don’t thank me. Thank Darcy. I wouldn’t be so forgiving if she hadn’t believed me.” Julie stroked her back. “Are you going to tell me what the big charade was about?”

  “I was stupid to think Jillian was in love with me.” Amelia sat up, leaned against the headboard, and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I won’t be that girl, Jules. The one who has to ask her to choose me. I need her to want me. Only me.” She took a drink of the coffee Julie handed her and winced. “Is there cream in this?”

  Julie took the cup from her and switched it with the one in the carrier. “That’s mine.”

  “You take cream in your coffee now?”

  “Always have.”

  Amelia shook her head. “I am a shit.”

  “Yes, you are. Now back to the subject at hand. You thought you’d beat her to the punch? Let her know you have other options? Which you really don’t.” Julie’s brows drew together as she broke off a piece of chocolate muffin and stuffed it into her mouth.

  “Something like that.” Amelia refused the piece of muffin Julie tried to give her. “Did you bring blueberry?”

  “Of course.” She opened the box and put it in front of Amelia. “You know how much I love you, Amelia, but I can’t be part of this game you’re playing with her.”

  “No more games, Jules. It’s done.” Amelia broke the blueberry muffin in half and took a bite.

  “Did you see her face when she came into the room? You really hurt her.”

  “She’ll get over it.” She dropped what was left of the muffin back into the box and then swiped her hand across her face, wiping away the tears she couldn’t hold back any longer. “She’ll go back to her girlfriend in New York, and everything will be fine. I should have realized a woman like Jillian was bound to have someone waiting for her somewhere.”