Unchained Memories

by Dena Blake

  “It’s about time.”

  Jillian made her way to Amelia, took her hand. “Did everyone know?”

  “Pretty much.” He yawned. “I’m happy you two finally figured it out, but I’d be much happier if we could get the sheets changed so I can get some sleep.”

  “Just give us a minute.” Amelia started stripping the bed, and Jillian went for a clean set.

  After they finished making the bed, Jillian and Amelia went into Jillian’s room and closed the door. For the next few hours, they held each other and discussed everything between frequent kisses. Jillian wanted to donate a substantial amount to the fund-raiser, but Amelia wouldn’t take it. She finally agreed to have a dance and dinner date with Jillian put into the blind auction. Jillian hadn’t been able to take part in the planning since she and Amelia weren’t speaking at the time, but she wanted to contribute in some way.

  * * *

  Jillian filled Marcus in on her night with Amelia and the words she’d spoken when she’d thought Jillian was asleep. Words that Jillian hadn’t been able to get out of her head since Amelia had said them. If you’ll let me, I promise to make you happy for the rest of your life.

  “She really said that? You weren’t dreaming?”

  “No. I heard it loud and clear.” She paced the room. “I don’t know what to do, Marcus.”

  “Do you love her?”

  “I do. Even more so now.” She spun around. “She’s everything she was and more. Mature, smart, and put together.”

  “Then why are you holding back?”

  “I’m afraid she’ll hate me when she finds out why I’m here.”

  “You didn’t make the choice not to involve Blake in Abby’s life. That was Jamie’s decision.”

  “I didn’t tell her the truth, Marcus. I’m scared. These are big fucking stakes I’m dealing with here. I have this beautiful girl to take care of, and I don’t even know how to begin to be her mother. Or if I can be at all. Jamie was the perfect mom, the nurturer my grandmother never was. She knew everything. If I ever had a question about anything—sex, girls, hormones—she always had the answer. She constantly encouraged me to be who I am, no matter what, and not to let anyone question it. Ever. Jamie made me feel worthy, like I could be something in the world. I don’t know if I can do that for Abby, and I certainly can’t do it alone. Amelia may not want anything to do with me when she finds out Abby is Blake’s daughter and I kept it from her all these years. If that isn’t enough, I still have obligations back in New York. I don’t know if I can just walk away from those.”

  “Are you finished?”

  Jillian nodded.

  “You’re going to have to start living your life, Jillian. No one’s going to live it for you. Why don’t you ask her to come with you?”

  “I can’t ask her to leave Oklahoma. She makes a difference here.”

  “I think you may underestimate her.”

  “I don’t know, Marcus. I’m not sure how I’d react if the situation were reversed.”

  “Don’t you think it’s time you were able to lean on someone else?”

  “I’ve been doing it myself for so long, I’m not sure I know how.”

  “It’s easy, honey. Look at her and look at yourself. You’ve already started.”

  Marcus was right. She’d started depending on Amelia since the first moment she saw her again. She’d needed her smile, her optimism, and even her smart-ass banter to keep her sane, or she would’ve never stayed this long.

  “So I have to tell her about Abby?”

  “Yes. You do.”

  Jillian picked up her purse and strode to the door, only looking back to get a reassuring nod from Marcus. Her next line of business was to tell Amelia about Abby and hope she didn’t toss her out on her ear.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “Abby is Blake’s daughter.”

  “What?” Amelia’s eyes widened. “You’re serious, aren’t you? Jillian nodded, and Amelia felt like her head might explode. It was enough to find out Jillian had come back, but to discover Abby was Blake’s daughter was just too much. She must be having some crazy nightmare.

  Seeming to contemplate her next words, Jillian blew out a breath and rolled her lips in. “It wasn’t something she was particularly proud of. It was only one time, and by the time she knew she was pregnant, we were already living in New York.” She stared into Amelia’s eyes. “I haven’t lied to you, Amelia.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “But that’s a big detail to leave out, Jillian.” She paced across the room, her mind racing. Had she been that blind?

  “She didn’t even know she was pregnant until after my parents were dead. Blake was set to go to college. No way would he have been able to raise a child.”

  Amelia didn’t offer any words of solace. She wanted to hear Jillian’s reasoning for keeping such a huge detail a secret.

  “The only other choice was your parents, and no way in hell was she going to let that happen.” Jillian raked her fingers through her hair. “She couldn’t see herself aborting and couldn’t see herself as a young mother either. My grandparents helped her while she was in college, and then she met Ken. Once they were married, everything in her life was perfect. I never expected any of this.” She looked up at Amelia, but Amelia didn’t flinch. She just stared out the window. “I always thought Jamie would be here to take care of Abby.”

  “You never expected to see me again, did you?”

  “No.” Jillian cleared her throat. “But I was in love with you.” She took Amelia’s hand in hers. “I still am.”

  Amelia turned slightly, glanced at Jillian. “Abby’s really my niece?”

  She nodded. “I did what I thought was best at the time.”

  “It’s been fifteen years, Jillian. How could you not have told him? How could you not have told me?”

  Blake’s voice came from the doorway. “Abby’s your niece?” He stared at Amelia. “How’s that possible?”

  Jillian removed her brown contact lenses. “I’m Jillian McIntyre.”

  His brows rose. “The investigative reporter?”

  She looked at Amelia. “He doesn’t even remember.”

  Amelia prodded him. “Remember my best friend?” Still no spark of recognition. “The girl who used to live here?”

  “Oh yeah. The cute little brunette.” He glanced over at Jillian. “I didn’t recognize you. You look different.”

  “Do you remember my sister, Jamie?”

  “Yeah. I remember her. Didn’t we go out once or twice?”

  “Jesus, Blake. You slept with her. You should remember.” Amelia narrowed her eyes. “Abby is your daughter.”

  “What?” Blake looked from Amelia to Jillian. “Why didn’t she tell me back then?”

  “Would you have believed her? You were going to be a big baseball star. Jamie wasn’t in your plans, and I’m sure a baby certainly wasn’t.”

  Blake raked his fingers through his hair. “Jesus. I’ve got another kid?” He glanced over at Amelia, and she nodded. “Does she know? I think I’d like to be part of her life.” He hesitated. “Yours too, if that’s what you need.”

  “Sounds like you got what you came for.” Amelia stared into her eyes and pressed her lips together, holding back everything else she wanted to spew at Jillian.

  “You can be part of Abby’s life, Blake, but I don’t want anything else from you.” She stared back at Amelia. “I’m in love with your sister.”

  “This is the way you love someone? Secrets and lies? Wow. I can’t believe I let you get close to me again.” Amelia started for the front door.

  “Amelia, wait. Please let me explain.” Jillian grabbed her arm and swung her back around.

  “You ruined my life once. I’m not going to let you do it again.” She shrugged free of Jillian’s grip and took off, letting the door slam against the wall as she sped down the front steps.

  Jillian raced ahead of her and blocked the door to her car. “I ruined your life? Do y
ou know I haven’t been able to stay involved with anyone for more than six months at a time?”

  Amelia stopped and put her hands on her hips. “We could’ve avoided all this if you’d just had your attorney send Blake a registered letter.” At least then, she wouldn’t have had to deal with the huge gaping hole Jillian had left in her heart. Twice. “A mistake made one night in the past is easily resolved in court.”

  Jillian’s steel-blue eyes fluttered angrily. “That mistake made so long ago, with my sister’s egg and your brother’s sperm, turned into a beautiful little girl.” Jillian was so close, Amelia could feel her heated breath on her face. “So, why don’t we just leave it at that and go from here?”

  “Because my niece is practically a stranger to me, as is she to her father, and I have you to thank for that.”

  “It wasn’t my choice to make, Ames. Please tell me you understand that.”

  “I can’t.” Amelia shook her head. “Because I don’t understand. This thing between us has all been a crazy fantasy. You have too many secrets, Jillian. Too many hidden agendas. Does it ever stop? Life isn’t something you can make up to fit your needs. I can’t be molded to react the way you want me to. This is…” Amelia shook her head and blinked. “Too much.” She moved past Jillian and tried to pull the car door open.

  “Amelia, please.” Jillian took her by the shoulders. “I never meant to hurt you.” Tears were streaming down her face.

  Amelia pulled free. “I’m sure there are a lot of things you never meant to do.”

  Amelia’s head was spinning with the newly discovered information about Abby, not to mention that was the only reason Jillian was here. Did Abby even know Blake was her father? Was Kelly really her ex-girlfriend? Was she really stalking her, or was she indeed waiting for her back in New York? Was anything she’d ever told her true? Who exactly was this woman Amelia had fallen in love with? She certainly wasn’t the innocent young girl she remembered. Jillian’s newest confession had hit her hard. Amelia dropped into the driver’s seat, fired the engine, and took off. A rolling wave of despair flooded her as she looked in her rearview mirror and saw Jillian crumple to the curb.

  Amelia fell into Julie’s arms when she opened the door. “She—” A huge sob interrupted her words. Her tears came out in full force, choking any voice she thought she had. The ball of anger inside had turned to grief. Her very being had been torn from her, thrown to the ground and squashed at her feet. Her world had been ripped to shreds…again.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell happened?”

  “She lied to me again.” She let out another sob. “Blake is Abby’s father.” The back of her neck heated as she pushed back from Julie. “Did you know that?”

  “No. God, no.” Julie pulled her back into her arms. “I had no idea.”

  “Is everything okay?” Darcy’s voice rang through Amelia’s desolate, foggy mind.

  “No. Nothing is okay,” Amelia said, glancing up at Darcy and not hiding her pain. She didn’t care if the biggest gossip in town knew her heart had been broken.

  “I’ll call you later.” Darcy rubbed Amelia’s back as she went by them out the door, pulling it closed behind her.

  “I’m sorry. I should go.”

  “No. Don’t.” Julie took Amelia into the living room and sat her down on the couch. “Wine or coffee?”

  “Whiskey.”

  “Whiskey it is.” Julie went into the kitchen, came back out with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and poured a finger’s worth into a highball glass.

  “Tell me how this all happened.”

  Amelia drank down the whiskey and poured herself another before she began to recount the story of Abby’s conception and the subsequent concealment of her parentage.

  Julie sat looking stunned for a moment before responding. “It all makes sense now. I couldn’t figure out why she chose here to get away from her ex.”

  “She came to fuck with my life.”

  “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on her? I mean, that’s quite a predicament she was put in, wouldn’t you say?”

  “She lied to me, Jules. Again.”

  “I can’t say that I don’t understand why.” Julie shifted to face Amelia and pulled her leg up under her on the couch. “Her sister died and left her with the challenging, at the least, task of letting her dead sister’s high school boyfriend know he’d become a daddy fifteen years ago.”

  Amelia rolled that around in her brain for a moment. It sounded different when Julie said it that way. “She could’ve easily done that through her attorney.”

  “Yes. She could have. Maybe she just wanted to make sure Blake was fit to be involved in Abby’s life.”

  “Of course he is.”

  “Jillian didn’t know that. Then she gets here and finds you. The long-lost love of her life.”

  Amelia’s gaze snapped back to Julie. “She told you that?”

  “She didn’t have to, honey.”

  Amelia wiped her face with the palms of her hands and shook her head. “I’ve been living in this fairy-tale world like nothing else matters, ignoring the fact that she lives halfway across the country.”

  “Is she going back?”

  “I’m sure she is. I would.”

  “Wow. No concessions there.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you thought about going with her?”

  “You know I can’t leave the kids.”

  “How can you expect her to consider giving up her career and moving here, if you won’t consider doing the same?”

  “Truthfully, I have thought about it. More than once.” The possibility of leaving everything she knew and depending on someone threw her whole world into a panic, but she felt empty and alone when she wasn’t with Jillian. “Jesus, Jules. What am I gonna do?”

  “You have plenty of reasons to walk away from her, but if you can think of one reason to stay…” Julie glanced at the ceiling and then back at Amelia. “What does your heart want to do?”

  “I love her, Jules, and against all of my better judgment, I want to be with her.”

  “Forever?” Julie asked with a soft smile.

  Amelia took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Forever.” Damn. What has this woman done to me? She reached for the bottle, and Julie grabbed it away from her.

  “No more. Big day tomorrow. You’ve got a lot to think about. You can sleep on it.” Julie pulled her up from the couch, and she headed for the door. “No, you don’t.” She pulled her toward the bedroom. “Come on. You can bunk with me tonight and figure out what you’re gonna do about Jillian tomorrow.”

  * * *

  Jillian couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. She felt more than empty inside, and it was her own doing. She’d been stunned by the hurt in Amelia’s eyes and wasn’t sure why she hadn’t expected it. She’d fought to keep her here, to make her listen, but had ended up on the ground in tears as she watched her get into her car and drive off. She didn’t know what else to say or how to explain it. What she had done was unforgivable, but it was done and couldn’t be changed. Now she had to tell Abby before someone else did.

  Jillian knocked lightly before she pushed through the door and found Abby sitting on her bed, leaning against the fabric headboard and working on her homework. “I have something to tell you, and you’re probably going to hate me for it.” She crossed the room and sat on the bed facing her. “Doing this story isn’t the only reason we’re here.”

  Abby didn’t look up from the notebook she was writing in. “I know. We’re here because you wanted to get back together with Amelia.”

  “Well, that happened. But that’s not the reason.” Jillian looked at the ceiling, trying to figure out just how to tell her. “We’re here because of your father.”

  Abby dropped her pencil into the crack of her book. “Why would Dad want you to come to Oklahoma?”

  “Not Ken. Your biological father.” Jillian said.

  Abby stared at Jillian blankl
y. “What do you mean, my biological father?”

  “You were just a baby when Ken met Jamie. He was head over heels in love with you both.” Jillian watched Abby closely, trying to gauge her feelings.

  “So, why are you telling me now?” Abby’s voice was calm and even.

  Jillian was surprised that Abby wasn’t more upset. “Your mother told me if anything ever happened to her and Ken, she wanted you to know your roots.”

  “My roots are here?” Abby looked back at the book on her lap.

  “Yes.” Jillian put her finger under Abby’s chin and made Abby look at her. “You knew that already, didn’t you?”

  Abby nodded. “I saw the adoption papers in my dad’s desk a few years ago.”

  “Why didn’t you ask them about it?”

  “I thought they would tell me.”

  “But they never did.” Jillian closed her eyes and blew out a breath. “Weren’t you curious at all?”

  Abby shook her head. “He didn’t want me. So why should I want him?”

  “Oh, Abby.” Jillian reached for her and she flinched. “That’s not what happened at all. Your mother never told your father about you because—”

  “She slept around in high school and got me as punishment.” Abby stared straight ahead.

  “God, no. Your mother slept with one boy in high school, and she never thought of you as anything less than a gift.” She touched Abby’s cheek and looked into her eyes. “Your mother loved you very much. Understand?”

  Abby nodded, slid her book to her side, and pulled her legs up to her chest.

  “Your mom had been through so much. We’d lost our parents, and then we were uprooted and moved halfway across the country.” Jillian shook her head. “I don’t know why it happened to her. She was always the good girl. I’m the one who made the stupid choices.” Jillian got up and pulled the door closed. “It didn’t matter whose DNA you have. You were her little girl.”

  “But she’s gone, and now you don’t want me.”

  “That’s not true, honey. I’m just trying to do the right thing for you. I brought you here to get to know your real father. To get to know Blake.” She glanced back at the door to make sure it was closed.