Cheyenne (A Timeless Series Novel)
Page 21
I truly was a prisoner.
I sat in the saddle as rigid as possible; I wanted to keep my distance from Colt. Colt raised his arm higher and pushed me back into his chest. I knew it was easier to ride sitting back in the saddle, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t about to make anything easy for him right now. I sat forward again only to have his arm pin me back down.
“Damn it, Cheyenne. Knock it off! I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You should have thought of that earlier, Colt,” I snapped back.
“If you would learn to control your temper, it would make it easier,” he said through gritted teeth.
“If you would tell me of the dangers instead of leaving me in the dark, I wouldn’t lose my temper!”
He didn’t reply, and I said nothing more. I eyed Callon’s pack. I wasn’t even allowed to carry the journal myself. Were they afraid I’d run off with the one document I couldn’t even read? I remained against his chest, stewing about what just took place, the friction from the movement gnawing at my nerves. I didn’t think I was asking for much.
Instead of just saying, “Don’t go near the lights, or don’t look at them,” he could have said, “Don’t go near the lights. They’ll try and rip your soul apart! It’ll scare the crap out of you, and we may not be able to stop them!”
That wasn’t hard. I would’ve got the message…I think.
Then again, I wasn’t fond of being told what to do by he who must be obeyed. That day he’d warned me not to try to leave, I still did it. I placed myself in danger by leaving for the bank. I also couldn’t be patient for their return to get into my Jeep.
Would I have been any different about this? Would I have believed what they told me, or would I have dared to try and find out on my own?
No, it didn’t matter. If they’d been honest from the beginning, I could’ve gone to the bank with them, and they would’ve trusted me with the keys to the Jeep. I wasn’t the one to blame here.
We had been riding for hours when we finally began to slow. We were on a ravine overlooking a river, carefully making our way down. We stopped at the water’s edge to allow the horses to rest and drink before crossing.
Colt hoisted me from the saddle and I slipped, dropping to the ground and smacking my backside in the process. Dismounting himself, he reached out and jolted me to my feet. There was no tenderness, and his jaw was tight and brow furrowed as he walked away. He wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.
I rubbed my side. I knew he had been scared and was reacting with anger. But it spooked me. I’d never seen him like this before. I expected it from Callon, but not Colt. He had always been loving, caring, and gentle.
He walked to Daniel, spoke a few words, and grabbed a canteen. Neither of us had spoken since the incident. Was he really mad at me? I honestly wasn’t trying to be a problem. I didn’t like it when we were like this—the quietness was unnerving.
My words had been angry, had flowed from my mouth without thought to the consequences. I never wanted anything to come between us. Over the last few months, I had been very careful about my words and actions, but last night at the waterfall something changed. I had been fighting it, but knew deep down I loved him. He needed to know. I had promised myself I would never have regrets as I did with my parents. I would tell the people I loved how I felt about them and often. I could never live with that crushing blow again—ever.
I was going to have to speak first. I knew he saw the solemn look in my eyes as he neared with the canteen. From his expression, I wasn’t sure if he was going to throw it or hand it to me. He was upset, the cool distance of his gaze told me—somehow I’d crossed the line.
I hesitated as he stretched out his hand. He turned to leave, but I quickly latched my fingers around his wrist. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t turn to face me either.
“Colt,” I said his name. He didn’t respond. “Colt, I’m sorry. I had no excuse to act the way I did. You risked your life to keep me safe. I’ll trust you.” This was the first time I’d said it out loud—I’d finally come to the point that I needed to. The library incident wouldn’t have happened if I’d just listened to Callon in the first place and not begged to go into town. I would have to accept his judgments more readily.
I hesitated and my voice cracked. I wanted to say it. My lower lip trembled, and my pulse began to race.
“I—I love you.” I inhaled a shaky breath. I’d done it; I’d declared my love for him, the love that he wanted in return. I was offering it to him, and praying he would accept it.
We stood in silence; he didn’t move. He said nothing. I felt the tears welling up. I lowered my head, dropped his hand, and closed my eyes. I had created this mess; I would have to deal with the consequences. I buried my face in my hands, ashamed.
“Did you mean that?” he suddenly asked.
Startled, I looked up into his face. His jaw was still tight.
“Yes.”
“Did you mean what you said?”
“Yes, I love you.”
“You love me the way I love you?” he said in an accusing tone.
“Yes,” I whispered. “With every breath I take.”
“What about Callon?”
“I love you, Colt.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Still inches in front of me, he didn’t move, didn’t raise a hand, didn’t say anything more. I lowered my head and turned, walking away. I was crushed. I hadn’t expected this reaction. He didn’t try and stop me as I went to the river’s edge.
I stared out into the water. It wasn’t quiet or peaceful. It seemed annoyed that the rocks were blocking its path downstream. It would rise and fall and crash with rage against the boulders, sending a fury of water upwards.
My body began to ache; a feverish chill traced my spine. What was happening to me? Why had Colt’s feelings suddenly changed? After everything we’d been through, two years of pining for me, and all it took was a few words in anger to end it all?
One of them called my name, and I turned to see they were waiting on me to leave. I forced myself to focus, but found it difficult. Colt had always been my strength; my security. Who could I turn to now that he wasn’t there for me?
I needed to get a grip. I could do this—I had to do this.
I kept my eyes down and headed straight for Mandi. I wasn’t about to ride with anyone. I knew they were staring at me, contemplating, but they kept quiet.
I mounted and dug my heel into Mandi’s side. We began moving toward the water. I was to cross first. Mandi was eager; she’d been waiting to be let loose.
Wading through the water, my legs soon became drenched. I didn’t care; nothing seemed to matter right now. Mandi was strong; it took little effort for her to move. We crossed the steep embankment, and I kept her moving. I knew Daniel would pass to lead. I looked at no one; it was too painful.
I wallowed in my sorrows as we rode. Colt had rejected me. I opened my heart like he wanted, and he rejected me. The night before was so different…he was so different. I saw the longing; I thought I saw what he wanted. But I gave him my heart, and he threw it aside. He left it at the riverbank…alone.
Alone like when my parents died—but he’d been the one to bring me through. If he hadn’t been there… Too many memories began to flood my mind, and I choked back a sob.
Dusk was arriving, and no one had spoken a word since we left the river. Every muscle in my body was begging for us to halt, but we didn’t. I was not going to be the reason for stopping; I would keep going as long as they did. The chill from the darkening sky raked me, especially since my pants had never fully dried from the river.
The cooling breeze sent goose bumps across my neck. I had long sleeves on, but it wasn’t enough. The packs were on the other three horses, and my jacket was in one of them, but there was no way I was going to ask for anything. They’d hear it in my voice, the uncertainty, the trembling. My stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten or drank since the night before. We left in a hurry
this morning and no one, not even myself, thought about food until now. I realized how much had I come to rely on them for everything. I would have to do more to take care of myself.
We rode in a tighter formation; Callon and Colt flanked my sides as darkness enveloped the forest around us. Colt was close, but seemed so far away. Hours passed, and I kept my head low, staring at Mandi’s mane. Soon I began to shiver. It was more than the night that was chilling me. I wasn’t feeling well. Callon touched my shoulder as he drew a jacket over me. I couldn’t make it much longer.
I knew it had to be the wee hours of the morning when I finally broke.
“I’m done,” I croaked. “If you wanted to defeat me, you’ve won. If you wanted me broken, I’m broken in more ways than you know.” I grimaced, trying to hold back the tears. “If you want my blind trust, you have it. I will no longer be a problem. I’m truly sorry for any trouble I’ve caused…for the burden you’ve had to bear because I’m with you.”
I’m not sure what I expected to happen with my confession. I had hoped Colt would draw me into his arms and tell me that all was forgiven and that he loved me too. That he was still my rock, my strength. But of course, nothing happened. Nothing had changed.
I shook my head. This wasn’t just because of my temper. It was more like Colt was repulsed by the thought of me. But why?
It didn’t matter anymore. The damage had been done. There was another slash, another piece of my heart breaking off. This was far worse than when my parents died. Maybe because this time I had no one else to turn to. Shards had ruptured when I found out I wasn’t who I thought I was, that my whole life had been a lie. When I thought Colt was only there to protect me, not because he loved me. Those had slowly healed, but this cut so much deeper. I placed my heart out in the open, and he rejected it…he rejected me.
It was Callon who came, wrapped his arms around me, and slid me off Mandi onto his saddle. I didn’t bother to swing my legs over. He just held me as we rode. Somehow his touch didn’t reach me like before. I was so numb from the day’s events that I couldn’t focus clearly.
We didn’t speak; he kept his arm just firm enough that I didn’t fall. My head was already lowered; I lay it into his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was finished, done. I continued to shiver. I tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t find me. Callon didn’t rub my back as he’d done in the past to comfort me. Did he feel I was beyond comforting? Or did he just not care anymore? Maybe I’d imagined all those feelings I’d thought I’d seen…
Hours passed, and the sun started to appear over the horizon. Through my lashes I saw Colt riding nearby, staring straight ahead. After all these years together, now I was seeing a different man. A part of him he’d never shown to me. I really didn’t know him after all.
I opened my eyes further, and noticed that we were nearing the edge of the forest. As we crested the ridge, a large valley emerged. It was expansive, with a large river running through it. Hundreds of acres of pasture lay before us. We stopped at the edge, and the others surveyed it before continuing on.
In the distance, I saw a small billowing pillar of smoke. This had to be what they were searching for, the friend Callon said we needed to find.
Callon lowered his head, and his eyes met mine in concern. I was sure I looked horrendous. I hadn’t slept in over thirty-six hours, and I felt weak and sick. I attempted to return the smile, but my lips refused to cooperate. I couldn’t blame them; I didn’t feel like smiling myself. He adjusted me so I was upright, and we rode on, his long fingers holding the reins.
I was beyond hungry, and dehydration was setting in. The familiar pain in my skull was becoming overwhelming, and I groaned. The awful headache was returning. The last one was when I’d first met Callon at the cathedral. Even after all this time, he was just the same as that day; handsome, with brown locks and mesmerizing eyes. I had been avoiding the latter, trying not to hurt Colt. Obviously, I was no longer what Colt wanted.
The distance between the horses was growing. Daniel and Colt were riding ahead, but the valley had also opened up. At least if danger was near, they would see it approaching.
“Callon,” I said weakly.
“Yes.” The warmth in his voice told me he wasn’t angry. Not anymore.
“What happened in the tent with the lights? What were they?”
His arms tensed.
“Sarac scouts.”
“How did they do that with the lights? They’re so beautiful, mesmerizing, almost hypnotic. I really did try, but I couldn’t look away. Why didn’t they affect you in the same way?”
Callon sighed.
“They were ghosting. The Sarac can physically separate from their bodies. They use their powers to transport their spirit to another location. It makes them extremely dangerous.”
“But how were you able to look at them and not be affected?”
“Because I’m Timeless. It doesn’t affect us in the same way.”
I rubbed my hand over my arms, recalling the horrible sensation in the tent.
“It was awful,” I said, “like I was being stung and pulled away. I was watching you from above my body. How could they do that?”
“Cheyenne, because you’re still human, it’s easy for them to enter your mind by seducing you with the lights. They ghost you to their physical body, and when you’re there your body follows. This is why they’re so dangerous. Your body and soul cannot be separated for long, but as Timeless they have learned to defy this rule.”
“So because I looked at the lights, they were able to seduce me?”
“Yes.”
“Why couldn’t you have just told me this before?”
He cleared his throat.
“I told you, I didn’t want to scare you. You’ve barely recovered from your attack, and I was concerned about your health. We would have protected you, Cheyenne. This is why I keep asking you to trust me.”
I understood now, but why couldn’t he have said this before? Had he planned this to push me away from Colt? It brought up another thought.
“So, why did they stop when you kissed me?” There was no hiding the fact that he had in fact kissed me.
He kept a level gaze, not a trace of embarrassment or self-consciousness on his face.
“It brought you back to the moment. You shut your eyes and concentrated on what was happening right then.”
This was slowly making sense, as much sense as my aching head would allow. “So if I had just kept my eyes closed, then what would have happened?”
“Colt had you firmly in his grasp. You probably would have experienced some tugging or pulling, but they wouldn’t have been able to take you the way they tried.”
“But why can’t they do this to you?” I knew I had already asked a similar question, but Mr. Evasive was in a talking mood, and I wanted to push him as far as I could.
“We’ve trained our minds over the years not to allow them to take hold. From time to time, they do succeed, but only the strongest of their kind can make it happen.” He paused. “But they didn’t want us, Cheyenne. They wanted you. I don’t think they know who you are yet, or they wouldn’t have stopped until they accomplished it.”
“Then why didn’t we run? Why were we just waiting for them?”
He sighed heavily.
“You were sleeping, and they were too close by the time they were spotted. It was safer to just surround you rather than run.”
My chest tightened. If they wanted me, what would they have done to me? Kill me like those men had threatened? Or something worse? If Callon’s kiss hadn’t brought me back…
His kiss. It hadn’t been a simple one to bring me back to the moment. It was something more, and Colt witnessed it. That one kiss—it changed everything. I was sure of it. Was he telling Colt to stay away?
“Callon,” I hesitated. “Why is Colt so angry with me?”
“He’s not angry with you, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart? This was twice now he’d called me that.
His arm tightened slightly, and his head lowered.
“I’m sorry, Cheyenne. Your heart can heal in other ways…”
I didn’t catch the rest of what he was saying. All of a sudden, the pain in my head increased. Then I was very hot, as if a fire were raging from within.
“Callon?” I listened for his response, but all I heard was silence. I could see his hands on the reins; I could feel his chest on my back, but my ears caught no sound. Droplets of sweat began to roll down my neck, and the pressure in my chest and head doubled. “Callon? Callon! What’s happening?”
I glanced up, Daniel and Colt were galloping back to us; they were further away than I remembered. Blurry spots began to form in my vision. I frantically twisted my head. Callon’s mouth was moving; alarm was on his face, but nothing…I could hear nothing.
I turned back. Colt was in front of me, but I could barely make out his silhouette. A silvery cloud was forming over my eyes as the perspiration dripped from my forehead. I couldn’t hide my fear. I screamed.
“Callon!”
Frantically I grasped for my jacket, I was roasting. I needed it off now. They ripped it off me as my fingers grasped the side of my temples. I could only imagine how frantic I looked.
Two strong hands lifted me from the saddle, resting me like a small child against a broad chest. I knew it was Colt. One arm secured my back and shoulders as he pressed me forward. His lips were near my ear; his chest rose and fell with each tense breath.
Hoof beats pounding the ground vibrated up my spine into my skull. With each gallop, a new lightning bolt of pain struck through me. As much as I was trying to keep control, the horror of the situation was taking its toll. Each breath was labored, and each lungful of air I sucked in burned. I began to shake violently.
Colt’s fingers moved to my neck, attempting to brace me further. I was shaking too hard. I closed my eyes. I wanted to be back in his arms, but not this way. Not because I was in pain. I didn’t want his pity; I wanted his love. Now I would never know what the anger was about. He would never tell me.