Soldier's Daughter, The

by Goodwin, Rosie

  ‘Fancy that,’ the little girl said eventually as she stared dreamily off into space, trying to picture them in her mind, ‘us havin’ a real nanny an’ grandpa. Florrie at school will never believe me when I tell her tomorrer, especially when I tell her that they’re rich an’ I’m gonna live with ’em in a big posh house at the seaside. She’ll be so jealous.’

  ‘Well, I don’t wanna go even if they are rich,’ Alfie piped up then with a mutinous expression on his small face. ‘I wanna stay here wi’ Mum an’ Briony.’

  ‘But it will be safer for you all there, darling,’ Lois told him gently as she stroked a thick lock of fair hair back from his forehead. ‘And it will mean that you won’t have to keep going into that horrid cold shelter at night.’

  ‘I like the shelter,’ Alfie scowled, crossing his arms. ‘’Specially since Mrs Brindley put the bed in there. I pretend we’re camping out!’

  ‘Yes, well – how about we get some dinner on the go,’ Briony said hastily, seeing how upset he was becoming. ‘And then we can talk about this some more later on, eh? I don’t know about you lot but I’m starving.’

  Lois and Mrs Brindley went to play Happy Families with the children then, and for now all talk of their grandparents was put aside as Briony hurried away to peel the potatoes for dinner.

  ‘What are our nanny and grandpa like?’ Sarah asked a little later as they sat at the table eating the corned-beef hash Briony had cooked for them. They were all a little tired of corned beef, but seeing as it was the most readily available meat they could get, Briony had become adept at making different concoctions with it for them, and at least it meant they weren’t going hungry.

  ‘I’m not so sure they’ll like you calling them Nanny and Grandpa,’ Lois said cautiously.

  ‘But why not? That’s what Florrie calls hers!’

  ‘Maybe she does, but it might be best if you address them as Grandmother and Grandfather until you get to know them a little better,’ Lois answered tactfully.

  Sarah frowned but then brightened again as she said, ‘Just think. We’ll have servants to wait on us and I’ll be just like a princess. And we’ll live in a big posh house right by the sea.’ She sighed, then added, ‘Do you reckon we’ll be allowed to play on the beach? And will we have to go to school?’

  Lois glanced at Briony before saying, ‘I’m sure you’ll be allowed some time on the beach, and yes, of course you’ll go to school. Probably the one in the village. But come on now – eat your dinner like a good girl before it gets cold.’

  There were many more questions buzzing around in the little girl’s head, but seeing as her mother obviously didn’t want to talk about it any more for now, she did as she was told.

  Meanwhile, Lois glanced across at the sideboard where the letter she had already written to her parents sat staring at her. It was all ready to be posted now and once it was done there would be no going back. It was daunting to think of being in the house all on her own, but she knew that for the sake of the three children, she would have to go through with this. They would definitely be safer in Cornwall away from the bombing – but she wasn’t at all sure that they would be happier. She could only hope that the years would have softened her mother. Only time would tell.

  As Briony lay in bed that night her head was spinning. Her mother had talked of beautifully manicured gardens and a huge house that the army of servants kept sparkling. It was a world away from what she was used to but she supposed she would adapt to it. She had already written out her letter of resignation and intended to hand it in to Mr Trimble the following morning. This didn’t really concern her. She had learned that no one was indispensable and no doubt he would quickly find someone to replace her. But she was dreading having to tell Ruth that she was leaving, even though her friend had known for some time that there was a possibility of it happening. For now, her mother seemed to have acquired a reserve of inner strength from somewhere, but despite Mrs Brindley’s assurances that she would keep an eye on her, Briony was still gravely concerned that she might lapse into drinking and a depression again. She sighed into the darkness, then snuggling into Sarah’s warm little body she eventually drifted off to sleep.

  ‘Oh!’ Ruth said mournfully the next morning when Briony told her that she would be leaving. They were walking along Queen’s Road and Briony was saddened to see that there were tears in her friend’s eyes.

  ‘We’ll be setting off within the next week or so when my grandparents reply to Mum’s letter,’ Briony went on. ‘As soon as she hears back from them she’ll book the train tickets and tell them when to expect us.’

  ‘I shan’t ’alf miss you.’

  ‘I shall miss you too, but I will come back to see you as often as I can, once the little ones are settled,’ Briony promised and they walked on in silence, each locked in their own thoughts.

  The following week, an envelope with unfamiliar handwriting on it plopped through the letter box and as Briony collected it from the doormat and carried it in to her mother, she guessed that this must be the reply from her grandparents that Lois had been waiting for.

  Her mother quickly read it before telling her, ‘Mother says you may all go as soon as you like, but I’m to write again and tell her when to expect you so that she can arrange for someone to collect you from the station at Penzance.’

  ‘I see.’ Briony had been expecting this and yet suddenly it all felt very real and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

  ‘I shall go into town today and book the train tickets for early next week,’ Lois decided. ‘It should work out just right for you, working out your notice at Woolworths. But Briony, promise me one thing – try to keep away from your Uncle Sebastian. He’s a nasty piece of work even if he is my brother.’

  Briony nodded numbly, not quite knowing what to say. There was no turning back now, it seemed, so she was just going to have to make the best of it.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next few days were spent in a flurry of packing. Lois remained calm, centred only on the fact that she was doing the right thing for her children. They were to leave at six a.m. on Tuesday morning 11 September from Trent Valley railway station, and their tickets were tucked safely away in her handbag. She knew that there was no time for her parents to reply to her latest letter informing them of the children’s date and time of arrival, but she had estimated that they would have had more than ample time to receive the letter and so hopefully there would be someone there to meet them from the train in Penzance. Her biggest worry was that, because the Germans had been targeting the railway lines incessantly, the children might have to be diverted, which would alter their estimated arrival time. However, there was nothing she could do about that. London was also being heavily bombed – what Hitler said was a reprisal for the bombing of Berlin – and Lois prayed that the children would reach their destination safely. She tried not to think of the lonely time ahead once they were gone and instead kept up a constant stream of cheerful chatter.

  ‘Just think, this time next week you’ll be living by the sea,’ she said to Alfie as she squashed his favourite teddy bear into the corner of his small suitcase.

  ‘Don’t want to live by the sea,’ he whined. ‘Want to stay here with you, Mam. Are you sendin’ us away ’cos you don’t love us any more?’

  ‘Oh, darling, of course not!’ Lois’s breath caught in her throat as she stared down at the tears sparkling on the little boy’s lashes. Alfie was at an age when he considered you were a cissy if you cried, but right at that moment he couldn’t help it.

  ‘I’m sending you away to stay with your grandparents because I don’t want you here where you might get hurt with all the bombs being dropped,’ his mother explained gently.

  ‘But what about you? You’ll still be here so you might get hurt. Why can’t you come with us?’ Alfie’s lip was trembling.

  ‘I shall be just fine,’ Lois assured him, giving him a loving hug. ‘But I have to stay here to keep the house nice for when you all
come home again, don’t I? And Tigger needs me here, doesn’t he?’

  He considered what she’d said then sniffed and nodded reluctantly. At least she had said they would be coming home – which was something, he supposed. He’d miss Tigger, though.

  Sarah, on the other hand, was almost bursting with impatience and had bragged so much about where she was going to live that Florrie, her little friend at school, who was about to be evacuated to God knew where, was green with envy.

  ‘’S’not fair,’ she sulked. ‘I ain’t got a clue where they’ll be sendin’ me.’

  ‘It’s bound to be somewhere nice,’ Sarah said. She was a kind little girl at heart and despite her bragging she cared about Florrie.

  And so the day of their departure raced towards them, and almost before they knew it they found themselves standing on the station platform with their mother, waiting for their train to arrive. They had already said a tearful goodbye to Mrs Brindley, who had promised to help their mum look after Tigger until they got back. Alfie and Sarah had wanted to take him with them, but Briony had managed to persuade them that Cornwall was such a long way away, he would be miserable locked in a cage during the journey.

  All three were dressed in their Sunday best and they each had a small suitcase to carry as well as their gas masks and a basket full of sandwiches that their mother had packed for them to eat on the way.

  ‘Now are you quite sure that you know where you have to change trains, and have you got the tickets safe?’ Lois asked for at least the tenth time in as many minutes.

  Briony patted her handbag and smiled. ‘Yes, Mum, I’m quite sure,’ she told her indulgently. She just wished that the train would come now so that they could be off. Saying goodbye was proving to be a lot more painful than she had anticipated. Could her mother have known it, she had every intention of coming back once she knew that the children were happily settled, but she hadn’t told her that, of course. Briony was only too well aware of how Lois was prone to fall apart in a crisis and didn’t want to leave her for a moment longer than necessary.

  Alfie was clinging to the hem of his mother’s pretty spotted skirt looking very smart in his little grey shorts and a matching blazer. Briony had polished his shoes until she could see her face in them but already one of his knee-length socks had slipped down to his ankle and she wondered what he might look like by the time they arrived at their destination. Alfie seemed to attract dirt like a magnet but then, as Mrs Brindley had always been so fond of saying, ‘Show me a clean lad an’ I’ll guarantee there’s somethin’ wrong with him. Little boys were made to be mucky.’

  Sarah, on the other hand, was standing primly, looking a picture in a white smocked cotton dress and a lovely pink cardigan that Mrs Brindley had knitted for her. She had a matching pink ribbon in her hair and was a miniature version of her mother. As Lois looked at her family now she wondered how she had ever managed to produce three such striking-looking children – although no one would ever have guessed at first glance that Briony was related to the other two. Her straight dark hair was a stark contrast to their fluffy blonde curls, and glancing at her now Lois felt a lump form in her throat. It was like looking at a female version of her husband, and the girl’s likeness to James made his loss seem all the more unbearable. But just for today, Lois was prepared to put her children first and she fussed about straightening Sarah’s ribbon and tugging Alfie’s sock up until they heard the train come chugging towards them.

  ‘This is it then.’ Lois could barely hear herself as the train pulled into the platform in a hiss of smoke. The carriage doors opened and people began to alight, many of them men in uniform possibly coming home on leave and Lois found herself thinking how wonderful it would be if only one of them could be James coming back to her. But then that would be a miracle and she didn’t believe in miracles any more. Just lately, life had knocked all the stuffing out of her. Briony was walking along peering into the carriage windows and when she found one that was empty she beckoned to her mother and the children.

  She began to put the cases into the corridor as Lois kissed the little ones affectionately and now Alfie started to howl unashamedly. Cissy or not, he wanted to stay with his mum.

  ‘Come on, darling,’ Lois urged, knowing that she mustn’t cry in front of him. ‘You’ve never been on a train before. Think how exciting it will be – and when you get there, you can ask Briony to help you write a letter telling me all about it.’

  He reluctantly allowed her to lift him aboard before she turned her attentions to Sarah. ‘Now you be a good girl and be sure to collect me some pretty shells from the beach.’

  The little girl nodded solemnly before climbing up the step to stand beside her brother, and now there was just Briony to say goodbye to. Lois wasn’t sure how she would bear it. Her heart felt as if it were splitting in two but she kept her voice light as she hugged her beautiful daughter.

  ‘I love you all, sweetheart,’ she muttered into Briony’s thick silky hair. ‘Now take good care of yourselves and jump aboard otherwise the train will be going without you.’

  Briony silently hopped onto the train as the guard hurried past, slamming the carriage doors shut as he went. He then glanced up and down the length of the platform and when he was quite sure that all the doors were closed, he lifted his green flag and blew on his whistle. The train instantly shuddered into life and a billow of smoke floated along the platform as it slowly began to draw away. The children clung to Briony with one hand as they frantically waved to their mother with the other, but within seconds she was swallowed up in the mist. Sarah was very quiet and Alfie was still crying, but as they stared from the window at the passing fields he wiped the tears and snot from his cheeks on the sleeve of his blazer.

  ‘Cor, the train don’t ’alf go fast, don’t it?’ The excitement of his first train-ride was kicking in now, and Briony smiled indulgently as the two children pressed their noses to the window and stared out in awe. She wished that their mood could last until they arrived in Cornwall but she doubted that it would. They were not due to reach their destination until very late that evening and she guessed that they would be tired and fractious by then. Still, for now at least she felt able to sit back and relax and that’s exactly what she did.

  Having lived in a town all their lives the children were enchanted by the sheep and cows that were dotted about the fields that they passed. Another field full of horses had them shouting with pleasure, and Briony began to hope that being away from home for a time wouldn’t be as bad as she had feared. The children were certainly enjoying their first-ever journey on a train. The novelty began to wear off shortly after they changed trains at Exeter in the afternoon. By then they were getting tired so Briony gave them some of the sandwiches and squash her mother had packed, and encouraged them to lie down on the seats and have a nap.

  The day had started as a beautiful misty September morning but now the mist had been burned off by the sun and it was uncomfortably stuffy in the small enclosed carriage. Once the children had dropped off to sleep Briony opened the small window and tried to read the book she had brought with her, but found that she was too apprehensive about what lay ahead of them to concentrate. Would they be greeted warmly, or were their grandparents only taking them in on sufferance? They would soon find out, and as the train ate up the miles her nervousness increased. Very late in the afternoon they changed trains again for the final leg of the journey. The light was fast fading by then and the children had become irritable after their long confinement.

  ‘How much further is it?’ Alfie asked every few minutes. And then suddenly they glimpsed the sea from the window and they were instantly excited again. Even in the fading light it was a deep shade of blue and Sarah hopped from foot to foot as she pointed to it.

  ‘Cor, look, Briony – it just goes on forever!’

  And then Alfie babbled hopefully, ‘Will we have time to go an’ have a paddle when we get there?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ Briony answere
d patiently. ‘It’s going to be very late by the time we get to Penzance. But I’ll tell you what – if you’re both really good I’ll try and get you onto the beach tomorrow.’

  Alfie pouted but then asked, ‘Have we got anything else left to eat? I’m starving!’

  Briony wondered if he had hollow legs. He always seemed to be ‘starving’, but thankfully after a quick rummage in the basket she found two more potted-meat sandwiches and handed one each to the children. ‘I’m afraid that’s it now until we get there,’ she warned them. ‘But I’m sure they’ll have a meal ready for us.’

  Again she tried to envisage what The Heights might be like. After what her mother had told her she had no doubt that it would be very grand indeed and she hoped that they wouldn’t feel too out of place there. The scenery was changing now and Briony was soon as enchanted as the children. By peering from the window, she managed to make out majestic cliffs and could see waves breaking on the beach in great white sprays. It really was a different world to the one they had left behind, and she wondered how their mother had ever managed to settle in such a built-up area after being accustomed to having all this space about her. Slowly as they travelled further into Cornwall the children began to rub their eyes wearily.

  ‘Not much further now,’ Briony told them encouragingly as Alfie yawned. It was too dark to see anything out of the window now. It felt as if they had been on a train for days and she would be as pleased as the children to get to their destination. At last the train began to slow. Briony nudged the children, who had fallen asleep again, and urged them, ‘Get your cases and put your coats on. I think we’re there.’

  Sarah and Alfie blearily did as they were told, and minutes later the train lurched to a halt. They found their way to the nearest door and Briony helped them both down onto the platform where they stood for a moment feeling totally out of their depth. They were the only ones to alight from the train, but as Briony peered along the dimly lit platform she saw the door of a waiting room open and an elderly man step out. He was a giant – well over six foot tall, Briony estimated – and he had a ruddy complexion, as if he spent a lot of time outdoors. As he walked towards them she saw that he was dressed in thick cord trousers, heavy boots and an old tweed jacket.